Friends
As Harry woke up the next morning, he felt emotionally drained. He couldn't remember going to bed. The last thing he could remember was sitting on Severus lap, leaning against the man's chest and hearing his heartbeat. Did he fall asleep on his professor's lap? Blushing, Harry turned onto his back and stared at the ceiling.
The fear of being abandoned, which he had felt the previous day, was still fresh in his mind. Although Severus had said that he would never abandon him, no matter what, the fear hadn't vanished completely. Harry knew we would be lost as soon as that will happen. He had gotten so used to his professor and his constant guidance, that he was sure that he couldn't live without it.
He was sad that he had lost Draco as a friend. He had grown fond of the blond and he was the only vampire friend he had.
A single tear rolled down Harry's cheek. Angrily he wiped it away. He wouldn't get sad over the loss. He sat up and his eyes fell onto a plate with breakfast next to his bed. Harry wondered. Was he confined to his room?
Sighing, Harry ate a little bit but he wasn't really hungry. As he couldn't eat any more he took the plate and left his room to bring it back into the kitchen. He had hoped to meet his professor on his way but the man was nowhere to be found.
"Snape?" Harry called a few times but nobody answered. Frowning, Harry tried to contact his guardian through their bond. 'Snape?'
oxoxo
"Severus, I understand that the two of you have your difficulties but you also have to understand that yesterday's incident was a very close call. Ms. Granger visited me this morning and demanded to know what had happened to Harry. She was convinced that she had heard the boy the previous day. We both know that the girl is a very bright witch and she may get behind this secret," Albus said.
Severus massaged the brick of his nose, "What have you told the girl then?"
"I told her once again that I will tell her when the time is right, but really, what are we going to tell her? We cannot lie to her, she will see through any lie we try to give her. Maybe you should talk to the girl."
"I think…" Severus stopped mid-sentence as he heard Harry calling him in his mind.
'Snape?'
Albus arched an eyebrow but Severus signalled him to wait a moment.
'What is it, Harry? I'm in a meeting with Professor Dumbledore.'
'Because of yesterday?'
'Yes.'
'I'm sorry.'
'I know. We will talk later. Can you keep yourself out of trouble until I return?'
'Yes,' was the meek reply and the communication ended.
Albus watched his colleague with a raised eyebrow, but Severus didn't explain himself.
"Well, back to the problem at hand. I think we should tell Ms. Granger and Mr. Weasley about Harry's conditions if they agree to swear to secrecy. That way we can control what they know and prevent them to tell anybody else," Severus said.
Albus nodded at that. "Yes, I agree with you, that in this case it would be the best."
"Well, I will let you know when I plan to tell them. It would be better if you take the vows from them. I'm sure they are not ready to trust me."
"Do that, my boy. Now I don't want you to keep you away from your ward any longer." With these words, Albus shooed Severus out of his office with twinkling eyes.
Oxo
"Keep yourself out of trouble," Harry grumbled to himself, "as if I would seek trouble on purpose."
Sighing deeply, Harry walked into the living room and let himself fall onto the sofa. Innocently lying on the small coffee table was the Prince Book. Harry touched the cover but didn't open it.
Finally opening the book, he ran his thumb through the pages, his mind was elsewhere. He still missed his friends and he was nervous about Snape. Was the man still angry at him? Harry couldn't really explain what had made him to do this stupid stunt. Why hadn't he talked to his professor instead?
Huffing, Harry let go of the book and stared at the books on the bookshelves opposite of him. Frowning and wondering why Snape had so much books, Harry stood and walked nearer to the bookshelves to read the titles.
Most of them were about potions or defence against the dark arts, others are about history or politics. There are even books about psychology. Did Snape know all the content of the books?
Suddenly feeling small and stupid, Harry turned away from the books only to jump violently. Severus was leaning against the door frame, crossed arms, watching Harry.
Nervously, Harry bit his lip.
"What are you doing?" Severus asked.
"Nothing. Just looking at the books."
With an arched eyebrow, the man walked into the room and nodded towards the sofa. "Sit. We need to talk."
"I'm sorry about yesterday," Harry said in a small voice, while he sat down again.
"That may be true but I need to understand what has driven you to do it. You know the rules. I taught them to you. You know to keep away from the other students, even as a bat and you know that you are not allowed to fly on your own. You broke those rules intentionally, why? And what exactly did you expect to gain with this note?"
Blushing deeply Harry hung his head. "I was angry… I didn't think at all," he whispered.
"No, you didn't. You have to understand though, that it is crucial for survival that you stick to the rules all the time. We are not allowed to forget the rules even if we are angry or just bored. Every wrong step can be your last one. You have to ingrain this."
A heavy silence hung between them for a while before Severus went on, "Sometimes I wonder if you ever followed any rules before in your life. I understand, that your relatives had hated and abused you, but had they never given you rules to follow?"
"You mean rules like 'never have better marks than Dudley' or 'don't complain if you are hurt or ill'?" Harry whispered and Severus cringed, "I had a lot of rules of this kind. 'Never start eating before the rest of the family had enough' or 'Go to your room and be silent after you finished all your chores'.
My life was full of rules and it wouldn't have been a problem if my relatives wouldn't have liked to change the rules or add new ones, which contradicted others on a regular basis, just to guarantee that I would break them and then they could punish me. At some point, I didn't care about their rules anymore, because it didn't matter anyway. They loved to give me rules and they loved it even more to punish me when I broke them."
Harry bit his lip once again before he went on, "I know my new rules now are important and I really try hard not to forget them. It's just…I don't know… I was angry at Draco and worried of my friends. They had looked so lost and full of worry and I couldn't understand, why nobody had spoken to them. I miss them so much and I have no idea how long I need to stay here. I wish I could talk to them, explain to them what had happened and tell them that I'm fine. They shouldn't worry about me."
Severus nodded his head. He hadn't been aware how severe Harry's abuse at the hands of his relatives had been.
"Did you often felt angry at your relatives, because of their unfairness?" he asked.
"I was angry sometimes and they lost no time showing me what they think of my anger. Most of the time I felt hopeless."
"Did you feel hopeless yesterday?"
Harry wanted to deny it but as he thought back to the moment when he landed in his room and realised the worry his friends were in because of him and nobody had explained the situation to them, he had to agree he had felt hopeless and so he nodded.
"I hate to feel hopeless. I wanted to do something. I wanted to ease their worry."
"And gained the opposite," Severus pointed out.
Harry frowned, "Just because you interrupted." The words were out before he could stop himself. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it," he added hastily.
"I believe you do," Severus contradicted in a soft voice, not at all angry, "And I understand why you would feel that way."
These words took Harry by surprise. Confused, he looked up at Severus.
"On the other hand," Severus went on, "What would you think, if a friend of yours would suddenly vanish and then you would find a note from said friend sticking by the window tell you not to worry. Would you stop worrying? Would you believe the note?"
"No," Harry admitted and hung his head again.
"Your friends were worried about you before you vanished from their sight. They didn't understand your behaviour and a simple note out of nowhere wouldn't have lightened their worry. My goal was to teach you and let you back to them as soon as possible. Because seeing you with their own eyes is the only way to ease their worry.
"As soon as I realised that you would need more time than the others, I was too distracted to think about them. My focus was with you, therefore I haven't told them anything. You are the first of my charges that comes from an abusive home. You present me with new tasks," Severus said with a warm voice which caused Harry to look up and smile faintly.
Severus returned his smile. "And you are the first who had the gall to bite me."
"You told me, you could have stopped me," Harry defended himself.
"Yes, you are right. I can't hold that against you, can I?" Severus said.
"Do you regret it?" Harry asked, unsettled.
"No. I don't think I do. Do you?" Severus returned the question.
Harry shook his head. "No. So much changed since then and I'm glad you are here for me. I don't want to lose what we have."
"You will not. Never," Severus reassured and then stood up, walked around the coffee table and sat himself next to the boy. Harry leaned against the man's shoulder and sighed.
"I was so afraid yesterday. I knew I screwed up completely but seeing you leaving the room... I was so scared. Where will I go if I have to leave you?"
"I hope it never comes to that. I will not let you go as long as I have a say in it. If it would make you feel better we could try to make an emergency plan. There are a lot of black moon hunters that could take care of you. As long as you were friends with Draco, the Malfoys would be an alternative, too."
"I don't understand why Draco is so mean to my friends. I learned to like him. He is easy to talk to, therefore it hurt all the more when he does things like that."
"He is jealous."
"He has no reason to be. I would like to add him to my small list of friends."
"So you would give him a second chance?"
Harry shrugged a shoulder, "Yes. I guess."
"He will be glad to hear that. He is under the impression that he messed up his chances with you."
Harry hummed at that, not sure what else to say. He hadn't forgiven Draco, yet.
After a moment of silence Severus spoke, "I talked with the headmaster and we both have come to the conclusion that it is best if we let Ms. Granger and Mr. Weasley in on our secret, provided that they agree to vow to secrecy."
Harry turned to Severus with wide eyes. "Really? I can tell them?"
"Yes, but I need to warn you. They may react unexpected and they most properly will need time to think things through. The term vampire triggers fear in most people."
Harry's excitement vanished again. "Wouldn't it be better then to not tell them?"
"I thought you wanted to tell them. It's your decision but think about how your friendship would be with this big secret between you."
Harry nodded. "It wouldn't be the same. I would love to tell them but I don't know if I could take their rejection."
"As I said, you need to give them time."
"When are we going to tell them?" Harry wondered.
"I thought this afternoon would be best, before Ms. Granger makes her own conclusions. And we both know she is a bright witch."
Harry smiled. Yes, Hermione would surely solve Harry's secret sooner or later. "Okay."
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Nervously, Harry paced in his room. He knew his friends were in the living room talking with Dumbledore and Snape. They need to agree to the vow before they could see Harry. Severus told the boy to wait in his room.
'What is taking them so long?' Harry wondered. He was excited and worried at the same time. He was sure Hermione wouldn't reject him, she would analyse the situation from all points of view but Ron worried him. The red-haired boy could be so impulsive. You never know how he will take things. Was their friendship strong enough to survive this?
A knock startled Harry out of his musing. "Harry?"
"Coming!" Harry answered and opened the door.
"Are you ready to face the storm?" Severus said, smiling softly at the nervous expression on Harry's face.
"Yes. How are they?"
"Very confused about the secrecy but they really want to know what had happened and so they made their vows without any fuss," Severus explained while he walked the boy to the living room. There he stopped, patted Harry onto the shoulder and whispered "Good luck!"
Taking a deep breath Harry entered the room.
Oxo
Ron and Hermione sat huddled together on the sofa looking as nervous as Harry felt. As they saw their friend entering the room Hermione jumped up and yelled "Harry!"
She was about to run over to her friend and hug him but Ron grabbed her by her sleeve giving Harry a sceptical look.
"Hi," Harry greeted his friends with a sheepish smile.
"What the hell is going on? Why are you staying with Snape?" Ron asked immediately.
"What did he tell you?" Harry asked, not sure where to start.
"Nothing. Nothing at all. He just told us that we have two choices. Either he erases our memory about this conversation or we swear to secrecy," Ron explained annoyed, "Really, I don't understand all this fuss. Why is it so hard to talk to you?"
Harry could hear how peeved Ron was. That made it much harder than he had expected. He bit his lip before he said, "That's all because of my condition."
"What condition? You look fine to me."
Harry heaved a tortured sigh, "Do you remember how I was when we met in the Leaky Cauldron?"
While Ron frowned, Hermione answered, "You have been looking tired and ill. You looked even worse a week later."
"Yes," Harry agreed. "I was not fine and I'm sure you haven't forgotten my embarrassing behaviour at the welcome feast."
Hermione made a disgusted face at that memory. "You behaved like an animal," she pointed out.
Harry nodded and smiled apologetically.
"But you are no animal!" Ron protested.
"No, but I wasn't human either. I was so hungry that I nearly lost my head but I didn't get what I needed from the food. I was full and hungry at the same time," Harry tried to explain.
"I still don't understand? What did you need then?" Ron asked.
Harry took a shaky breath and closed his eyes. "Blood," he whispered and then opened his eyes again.
Both of his friends looked at him in puzzlement. "Blood?" Ron repeated.
"As I ran away from my relatives I got attacked and bitten. I needed nearly a whole week until I recovered enough to function again. That's why I went missing for a week. My body was not only recovering but transforming, too. I didn't understand what was happening. My whole body felt weird. In retrospect, I think I knew what was happening but I just couldn't believe it nor accept it."
"Harry," Hermione yelled, suddenly her eyes wide with horror. Obviously she had already solved the puzzle.
Ron on the other hand was still trying to get all the pieces. "So you got bitten and then your body transformed? But you look normal to me. And I still don't get the blood part. Why would you need blood? Did you lose too much by the attack?"
Harry shook his head and bit his lip. I could see the inner struggle of his friend, he was close to the truth.
"But you aren't vampire or anything like that?" Ron finally asked.
A death silence followed. Harry bit his lip harder and Hermione gasped once more. Ron looked from the girl to his friends still denying what his mind was telling him.
"That's a joke, yes? You can't be a vampire!" he said, shaking his head in denial.
"I tried to tell myself that, too, but no matter how much I tried to ignore the obvious, my body was betraying me. I lost control over myself and I was forced to learn to accept what I had become. It was hard. It is still hard but at least I have the control over my body back," Harry explained.
Ron still shook his head. "So what does that mean? Are you going to bite us, too?"
"No," Harry said horrified. "No. I'm not going to bite anyone. Professor Snape has a special pepper-up potion for us. I need to drink it once in the month."
"And Snape? Is he also a… you know?" Ron asked, feeling slightly ill.
"Yes, he is. There is a handful of us but we are not dangerous," Harry tried to calm his friend.
Ron wasn't convinced. "If you are not dangerous then why are you staying here? It's nearly two weeks now."
"There is much I need to learn before I can back. Snape is teaching me how to control myself. We still have our difficulties, sometimes."
Ron sighed unhappily while a heavy silence hung between the friends. After some time the redhead asked "Are you biting each other?"
Harry blushed at that but said, "Professor Snape hadn't bitten me. He is the head of our club and he said that he will not bite anyone of us."
"Oh, how nice of him," Ron said sarcastically.
"Yes, especially considering that I had bitten him."
Harry smiled sheepishly, glad to see a spark of admiration in his friend's eyes.
"You have bitten him and are still living to tell the tale?"
At that Harry shrugged his shoulder.
"How long are you going to stay here?" Hermione asked as she found her voice again.
"Professor Snape thinks it's best if we wait till the next new moon. Then I'm ready to join you again."
Hermione nodded before she went on, "What exactly are you doing here. I mean, Professor Snape is still teaching potions, so I wonder what you are doing, when you are alone, or aren't you alone?"
"During classes, I'm alone down here. Mostly I do the homework, so I won't fall behind. When Snape is with me, we talk a lot. There are many rules that apply for us, so we can blend into the mass without causing trouble and sometimes we fly a bit."
"Fly?" Ron arched an eyebrow.
"Yes. A vampire can transform into a bat," Harry explained.
"A bat?" Ron asked and exchanged a meaningful look with Hermione. "So, the two bats recently at our window had been you and Snape?"
"Well, yes, but it was Draco and me." Harry closed his eyes preparing himself for the next storm and sure enough it came.
"Draco?" Ron yelled outraged. "What do you have to do with Malfoy?"
"He is one of us," Harry explained.
"Oh, and now you are best friends?" Ron went on.
"No. He's still an idiot," Harry said frowning. "Right now I'm angry at him. He was nice and completely different with me these last days. I thought we could became friends but now I'm not sure anymore. I haven't spoken to him since our argument."
"So Draco was allowed to see you?" Ron asked somewhat hurt.
"He is a vampire, Ron. Like me," Harry pointed out in a soft voice, "I was no danger to him. I would never be able to forgive myself if any of you got hurt because of me."
"Why the vow?" Hermione asked to change the topic.
"As far as I know, it should keep you from telling anybody else about me and the others of the club. We need to stay hidden, because the ministry would hunt us down otherwise. They are brutal and don't understand the difference between dangerous wild vampires and harmless ones like us, who are bonded to each other to satisfy our need of blood." Harry explained.
"So you are bonded?" Ron asked with big eyes.
"No, well, kind of. As I have bitten Snape we are bonded in a way, but its not a complete bond. Snape said I should bond to someone of the club but I don't need to. With the special pepper-up potion, I would not need necessarily a bonding partner."
"Well, that's a lot to take in, mate," Ron admitted and Hermione nodded wondering, "What does this all mean for us? Can we still be friends?"
Harry bit his lip, "I really hope we could stay friends. I didn't choose this life. My life was bad enough with the Dursleys, without being a blood sucking monster. I miss my old life and I miss you but I can understand if you don't want to have anything to do with me. I'm glad that I was allowed to tell you all about what had happened but loosing you would be very hard for me."
"Oh, Harry," Hermione said sympathetically. "Of course you will keep our friend but right now we just shocked. Give us time to come to terms with it. We didn't know what had happened to you for two weeks and now that. It's much to take in."
"I know. It was much for me either. Take all the time you need. I already happy that you didn't run from the room screaming," Harry whispered.
Hermione laughed nervously. "A vampire. You still look so normal."
Harry shrugged his shoulder.
"Do you have this long canine teeth?" Ron asked finally.
"Erm… just for drinking. Right now the are normal."
"Do you die in the sun?"
Harry's eyes widen at the odd question. "No."
"Can I keep you away from me with a cross or a chaplet? Or with garlic?"
"I doubt that any religious ensign could keep me away. Regarding the garlic… well… I smell much more than before and garlic is not something I like to smell but beside of this fact I'm sure even no garlic can stop me," Harry said with a smile.
Ron smiled back and shook his head. "It's really hard to believe that you are a vampire. You are still... you."
"Well, thank you."
"Except your hair. Why is it so long suddenly?"
Once again Harry shrugged, "I don't know. Obviously my hairs are growing faster now but I kind of like it that way."
"Me too. Bill, my brother, also has long hairs. Mom longs to give him a haircut but he refuses and it driving her mad."
"Well, Snape obviously has no problem with my hair and if the Dursleys would have a problem with it or not I will never know. I'm finally free of them."
"So where are you going to stay during the summer?" Hermione wondered.
"With Snape. He promised me, that I will not have to go back to my relatives."
Hermione smiled at Harry about the news but Ron opened his mouth to protest. He didn't got a chance though because Harry added, "He is really great, Ron. I had a hard time to accept him at first but he showed me so much understanding. I've started to see him as a father figure. He is strict, yes, but... it's hard to say in words… he was brilliant these last two weeks. I like him."
"I will have to take you by your word but don't expect me to change my mind about him. I can't. In classes, he is still the same greasy git as he was before."
"Ron," Hermione said scandalized.
"What?"
"Don't forget where you are. You can't insult Professor Snape in his own rooms."
At that Ron rolled his eyes and Harry had to grin. It was so good to talk with his friends. They hadn't changed at all and Harry was glad about that. He was quite confident now that his friends would overcome the fact that he, Harry, was now a vampire.