Chapter 13 – Hope for recovery

NORMAL POV

Nate walked back into Casey's room to check his vitals and saw Brax still sitting next to Casey's hospital bed with his hands grasped tightly around Casey's hand.

"Brax what are you still doing here? It's 3am in the morning." Nate questioned.

"I want to be here when he wakes up." Brax replied like there was no questions asked.

Nate gave a sigh. "Brax, we don't know when Casey will wake up. It could be days, weeks, even months." Nate explained.

"I don't care. I'm not leaving him." Brax replied blankly.

"Brax..."

"I said I'm not leaving him!" Brax shouted.

"Alright, well let me just check his vitals then I will leave. If you're staying here did you want a blanket or something more comfortable?"

"Nup." Brax replied, not taking his eyes off his brother.

"Can I get someone to bring you a coffee or something to eat?" Nate tried again to make Brax comfortable.

Brax sighed. "Just do what you have to do and leave Casey and me alone."

Brax stared down at the self injury wounds on Casey's arms and wondered why his brother would do something like that.

Nate went on to gather his information but was stopped just before he went to leave the room.

"Can I ask you something?" Brax turned to look at Nate.

"Sure Brax. What is it?" Brax sighed and ran his fingers over the cuts on Casey's arm.

"These cuts...What's the matter with him? I mean why would he do that?" Brax asked.

"Brax self harm is a coping mechanism for some people, a way to forget painful feelings or memories, or a way to make them have a sense of feeling, to make up for the feelings of numbness inside. It may also be a way to punish themselves over something they usually can't control." Nate explained.

Brax thought, why would Casey want to punish himself or feel numb? He didn't understand it.

"What would drive him to physically do it though?" Brax asked.

"People that self harm are unable to cope or handle extreme emotional situations and that leads them to rely on this release. When a person cuts it releases Endorphins which causes a chemical reaction in the body to make them feel positive, resulting in the reason for their self harm being deterred away from their thoughts."

Brax gave Nate a confused look, still not being able to get his head around this.

"Look Brax, do you like surfing?"

"Yeah, what's this got to do with anything?" Brax questioned, wondering what Nate was getting at.

"After you surf you feel good right?" Nate stated.

"Yeah I guess."

"Well that kind of activity releases Endorphins too and when you go surfing on a bad day you come out of the water relieved?"

"Yeah, but Casey surfs shouldn't that do the same for him?" Brax asked confused.

"Yes, but whatever has lead Casey to harm himself is too extreme for him to handle and no matter how much he may surf or try and release his emotions he can't. Cutting is his only option that he feels he has." Nate explained.

Brax sighed. "Casey recently found out that Johnny Barrett, Andy and Josh's father was his father too. He's Heath's and my half brother." Brax explained.

Nate stopped and walked back towards Brax. "That explains the self harm then. That's pretty intense for someone of Casey's age to take in. Thank you for telling me, now I know what we are dealing with. I'll be back in later to check on Casey again." Nate opened the door to leave.

"Nate? When Casey was in the hospital with alcohol poisoning." Brax started.

"Yes, I saw that on his file."

"He implied that he wanted to not live anymore." Brax said sadly

"Right, it's not uncommon for someone in Casey's condition to have suicidal thoughts. I'll make a note on his file and we can arrange for him to talk to a counselor when he comes out of his coma." Nate confirmed.

"No offense mate but I know Casey he won't talk to a counselor. I don't even know if he will talk to me." Brax said.

Nate saw Brax glance at Casey with worry. "Hang in there Brax. The important thing is not to push Casey to talk. We don't want him getting worse and pulling away from us. The best we can do is encourage him and support him." Nate advised and gave a nod before leaving the room.

Flashback-

"Don't you want to do anything with your life?" Brax yelled at Heath. He had just been expelled yet again from another school.

"I can do deals." Heath defended.

"I don't care if you can! I'm not having you end up in jail because you spend your life doing something stupid!" Brax yelled, causing Heath to huff.

Brax felt a small tug on his shirt. "Brax, I know what I want to be when I grows up."

Brax looked down at his 6 year old baby brother staring up at him. "Not now Case." Brax told Casey gently.

Heath went to storm off. "Hey, I'm not finished with you!" Brax shouted.

"Yeah ya are!" Heath stormed off and slammed his bedroom door.

Casey tugged on Brax's sleeve again. "I want to be just like you when I grow up." Casey smiled.

"No way Case, I'm not having you turning out like me." Brax said quickly, not realising what Casey was getting at.

"But whys? I want to be like you because you're so brave and the bestest big brother ever and I love you." Casey said innocently.

Brax's anger towards Heath subsided as he smiled down at his innocent baby brother and engulfed him in a hug.

"Aw Case I love you so much too, you're a good kid and you can grow up to be even better than me yeah?" Casey smiled and nodded as he leaned in closer to his brother, hugging him tighter.

End flashback

Brax continued to squeeze Casey's hand. "Come on Case, please wake up for us mate. If you don't wake up from this Case, I'll never forgive myself for not looking out for you, you hear me?"

Brax sighed and rested his head on the bed. Casey had always looked up to him and admired him so much, but when Casey needed him the most he had let him down.

Tears threatened to slip from Brax's eyes as he gently ran his fingers over the cuts on Casey's left arm again. "Please Casey, you mean the world to me."