Title:Unintended: Pt. 3: Of Reunions And Choices

From The Twisted Minds Of: Dellykins & Chi Shiro
Verse: G1 AU
Series: Unintended (flag ship story)
Rating: M
Warnings: Mech-preg, Character Death, Violence, Spark-sex, H/C, Angst, Dub-con.
Pairings: Megatron/Skywarp/Starscream/Thundercracker/, Later Jazz/Prowl/Thundercracker, Ensemble.
Disclaimer: We don't own.
Notes: None.

Section Specific Warnings: This hit out of left field. This section was supposed to be a talk with Smokescreen. Thundercracker had other ideas...

OoOoOoOo

It had yet to cease to amaze him how the Autobots had integrated themselves into Earth customs and culture. They kept time in human measurements, clocks in all the rooms and calendars hanging in odd places. He supposed it did have its usefulness. Humans did come and go from the Ark at all times. The Autobots had speaking engagements, political maneuvering, and an abundance of human entertainment they needed to keep track of in human time.

It had been ten days by human reckoning since he'd bonded with Jazz and Prowl. Almost three weeks since he'd lost Starscream and Skywarp. A small blip in time that also felt like forever.

Part of him, a part he tried to keep secret for the sake of the peace, still blamed the Autobots for his new bond. He knew in some back processor-ed way that it was something that he had needed, the newspark would not have made it without it, but it still irked him. They had kept him in the med bay under sedation for too long. Over a week he had been let go while they decided what to do with him. It had caused his dire need for spark energy for the little one, exacerbated the need for a bond. He couldn't help but think he might not have needed the bond at all if they'd given him a little jolt from the start.

Some dark part of his spark questioned if it hadn't been deliberate. It was madness, against all common sense, but it was there.

He was kept busy, at least. Jazz had a wide selection of entertainment, both Cybertronian and Terran. Prowl had a secret fondness for some game he called 'Monopoly', a game no one else would apparently play with him. It was all tactics and strategy, so Prowl excelled at it. He had seen Bluestreak a few times, when the youngling could be coaxed into the suite. He either wouldn't look at Thundercracker at all OR he'd stare. The Seeker suspected the youngling's coding was adjusting itself.

And some of the Ark's residents were somewhat pleasant to be around. Well, tolerable. Optimus Prime stopped by on a daily basis to ascertain that he was thriving there. And to feel the newspark; the big, soft-metaled brat. The Seeker firmly believed if the conflict ever ended the Prime would grab the first 'Bot who said yes to his courtship and settle down. He was just one of those mechs, and his lack of family seemed to bother him deeply. Not that you would guess if you didn't know what you were looking for. But Thundercracker had seen him giving the medic the same look Megatron would always give Starscream in their nicer moments. Saw through to the concealed envy when Bluestreak was curled up with one or both creators in a pile on their floor.

The return of his weapons had surprised him, even when explained that Jazz and Prowl had override codes that would shut them down with a well placed signal. Not as much of a surprise when the Aerialbots had burst into his trine's quarters and "kidnapped" him to go flying. They wanted him to be able to protect himself if any Decepticon flyers showed up. At least once a day, since that first day, he found himself being grabbed and yanked out the front door by one flyer or another. Aerialbots, Cosmos, even once by Powerglide. Small miracle, Skyfire had yet to make the offer. Hopefully it would stay that way.

He found himself facing down Ratchet every other day. The head medic had insisted on it until he was sure the bond was doing what it should do. Little blessings, he had never had to face him alone again. Jazz and Prowl were always there with him. Wheeljack too. Smokescreen had caught two of the appointments, but he was always hanging around where he didn't belong so Thundercracker had learned to ignore him.

He had been surprised, though he shouldn't have been, to find himself a daily visitor of Wheeljack. So much so that there was a second cot in the inventor's lab now for when he needed to catch a quick recharge. He'd come out of said quick recharge yesterday to see Wheeljack and Ratchet curled together on Wheeljack's berth; and to find himself covered in seeker-kin. Prowl and Jazz on either side of him, Bluestreak sort of flopped over all three of them. The youngling must not have found him as intimidating when he wasn't online.

He'd come out of one of these naps, and humans did have some of the quaintest words to describe things, today to find Prowl and Jazz staring at him. Not an uncommon occurrence. Prowl often watched him with all the tenderness of a carrier with their newsparked creation. Jazz's looks were often more fearful, not of him but for him, and bent towards possessive. But today they seemed to be reserved about something, neither speaking as they guided him out of the door and into the hall.

"Where are we going?" Thundercracker finally asked with more patience than he thought they deserved. They had been traveling through the twists and turns of the Ark in continued silence. Where ever they were going it was making both Jazz and Prowl jittery. It was not physically apparent, save for the way Prowl's doorwings kept giving the odd twitch. But mentally it was quite clear, the way their minds buzzed with nervous energy. They were trying to keep it flowing under the surface, but it was strong enough for him to skim the flow passed between them.

They paused for a moment to share a look. Their optics lit up in a way Thundercracker was well versed with now, and it irked him. He gave a small push on the bond and found them both cutting him out of this conversation. It went on long enough that he had begun to contemplate seeing if he could get away with smacking one of them when Jazz finally spoke. "The med bay."

The med bay? Was that all? He didn't understand the problem, then. They were the ones who had jovially coaxed him down there for every appointment so far. Jazz found his trepidation of Ratchet amusing. Prowl did too, not that he'd admit it. "I wasn't supposed to see Ratchet today. What did I do to deserve this treat?"

"We know," Prowl said. His doorwings began to flutter with intent and he refused to look Thundercracker's way. "You've done nothing. The newspark is fine near as we can tell, and Ratchet is talking about cutting back on your visits if tomorrow's appointment goes well. We just have...something to show you."

Thundercracker frowned but let them lead him through the infirmary. It was quite today, there had been no Decepticon raids or attacks of any kind since the day that... There had been no attacks. The only injuries Ratchet had been dealing with were infaction or self inflicted. Mostly those pit-spawned twins. The red one had a penchant for pranks that often backfired on him. And yesterday they had both tried practicing jet judo on Skyfire under the excuse that the Decepticons had some shuttles in stasis. Thundercracker had watched from his own medical berth in somewhat justified glee as the dinobots dragged them in and threw them down with all their usual care.

His trine-mates bypassed the main medical area, not even pausing to give a greeting to Ratchet, and slipped into one of the smaller side rooms. He caught a pensive look on Ratchet and First Aid right before he stepped inside. He felt a heaviness settling in on his spark. The Autobots were a peculiar group but this was off even for them.

The lighting was dim and reminded him of a mausoleum Starscream had insisted on viewing when they'd been raiding a power source near New Orleans. He had never given much thought to the organic version of things beyond this realm until that moment. Standing in the doorway of that crypt he had felt something pushing in from beyond the shadowlands, some restless thing that wanted back in. Or maybe in for the first time. He felt that same chill now, ice in his lines.

He stepped forward, his processor still in that old (by human standards) tomb, and did not see the double berths in front of him. His knee joint made a painful sounding crunch as it collided with the nearest one. And now he knew why this place made him feel like he was in a repository for the dead. Because it was, he was. His processor swam as he looked down at the face of his air commander, and felt like his legs were going to buckle. He dropped down to his knees in a mix of respect and weariness.

"How-How did you get their bodies?" He asked, crawling closer to where the two seekers' frames were laid out. He needed to be closer, to feel them, touch their plating. This couldn't possibly real. Thundercracker's hands shook as he reached out and touched Starscream's greyed shoulder. It had muted the colors of his former trine leader, but not taken them away entirely. He noted the same of Warp. His purple was darker, uglier. Like a bruise or an ominous twilight.

His head snapped up suddenly. Frenetic in his actions as he lunged forward to pull Prowl down to his level. "How did you get them? How? The Nemesis, oh Primus, you went to the Nemesis. You can't...no no no no No No NO. You can't do things like that. Shouldn't have. Don't you dare. Never again. What if you... The newspark! What if you..."

He didn't expect the firm smack against a wing. Hard enough for him to feel it, for him to be knocked out of his babbling. Minor surprise that it was oh so protective Jazz who'd done it.

"No one went ta th' Nemesis. Chillax mech." Jazz leaned forward to nuzzle him. Soft, soothing, his EM field caressing him in reassurance.

"Then how?" He knew the answer without having to ask, but he needed this. Needed to hear it. Painful, wrenching as it was. An afterthought, "And who repaired their frames?"

"Rumble and Frenzy brought them here, actually." Prowl murmured as he pulled him close, petting his wings. He sighed in spite of himself. Part of him was annoyed with the treatment, this was the same way his carrier had soothed him when he was very young. Part of him was grateful that they at least made the attempts. And the smallest, quietest, part of him dared to hope this meant more than it probably did.

His trine-mate, bond-mate his traitorous spark whispered, continued on. "And as for the repairs, well Ratchet and First Aid both worked on them. There has been little else for them to do. And, well... We all figured you would want to give them a proper burial when you were feeling better."

Thundercracker shook his head, not trusting himself to speak for a long moment. Somewhere out in the med bay the tick of a Terran clock was sounding. Tick. Tick. Tick. Little clicks to wile away the time. Time that was so precious. Time that didn't mean anything. His shoulders hunched and he seemed to curl in on himself.

"Even in this," the Seeker's voice was pitched so low his trine-mates did not know if he were truly speaking at first, "they vex me."

Jazz and Prowl shared a worried look as a wave of misery and sorrow shot through the bond. It was painful, unhindered. Jazz lowered himself to the floor lest he be forcibly knocked to his knees. They both worried they had been wrong, that it was too soon.

"Thundercracker?" Jazz said softly, one tentative hand reaching out for him. An offering. A lifeline. Anything, everything. For a brief flash the seeker did not doubt that they cared for him. Maybe liked him. That maybe they were even starting to love him against all sense.

A flash. There and gone.

"Megatron." He muttered by way of explanation. "Starscream too. He wouldn't have let them... If anything had ever happened... Even in this they vex me."

Prowl studied him for a moment, working out things that Frenzy and Rumble had so kindly shared with them. He did not like the conclusion. He didn't like it at all. He pushed the worry aside, he needed more information to form a proper conclusion. "We were told that this was an accident. I need to know what the validity of that statement is."

"An accident?" Thundercracker's deep voice had taken on a surreal quality, detached. Like a mech casually discussing the weather instead of the deactivation of two he held so dear. "No. Not entirely. Well, maybe. Skywarp assuredly a no. What happened there was no accident."

Thundercracker pulled away from him, surprisingly steady on his peds. He touched Starscream reverently on a cheek strut. "Now Starscream, that could have been an accident. Probably was. Actually, most assuredly was." His laugh was cold, hollow. "Megatron coveted him. I can't imagine he would have deactivated his future mate on purpose."

"Future mate?" Jazz sounded more than passing disturbed. "They were tellin' th' truth?"

Thundercracker turned blank optics on him, nodding his head absentmindedly. "'S why we were Decepticons. Starscream wanted him, and the attraction was returned. Don't honestly know what you could call what they've been doing all this time. Something like love for the broken and depraved.

"Or maybe not. Megatron wasn't so bad at first. Star wasn't either. They fed off of each other, a shared current. They multiplied and rebounded and it would come back stronger, more dangerous each time. Maybe love. Maybe obsession. I never knew and I never wanted to know.

"But he was pushing. Get this, the most fragged up part of it all. He was pushing to be allowed into our bond. To turn our trine into a retinue. And Starscream was on his side of the issue." Thundercracker let out one of those spark shattering laughs. Jazz idly thought that it was what mechs in the pit heard.

Prowl sighed, upset he had asked but needing to go further into it. To uncover the relics that might be used to piece their seeker back together. "And you? What did you want?"

"For him," he caressed Starscream again, "to be happy. That fragged up, slagged up, pit-spawned, glitched, ground-bound, Kaonite pit fighter was all he talked about. How could I have... That sound you hear? That's Primus laughing at your good intentions."

"Skywarp?"

"Starscream found him, you know? They shared the resonance before I did. Drove each other to the brink of insanity and enjoyed every moment of the flight." Thundercracker walked the few steps to the next berth. He touched Skywarp with the same affection he had shown Starscream. "Warp loved a good 'face. Had a hard enough life before he came to us that what Megatron was preaching was what he'd always waited to hear. That Unicronspawn had a way about him, and Skywarp liked him for it. Not love, that was Starscream, but enough like that he saw nothing wrong with making a retinue."

Prowl stood and Jazz joined him. They pressed against the half crazed Seeker, thrumming love down the bond. Thundercracker jolted, like it pained him. His glare toward them was suspicious. Like he didn't want to believe it. Even without the blue mech broadcasting the Praxian could tell he just could not force himself to believe it. The distrust was undercut with fear.

"You never had a choice," Prowl squeezed in tighter, "did you?"

Thundercracker deflated then, slumping against Jazz. He did not know how to classify the noise he made as Jazz wrapped his arms around him, mindful of his wings. Prowl quickly joining. Was this... a defeated sigh? A hopeful quirk? Did he want this? Really? They were being so... "Do any of us ever have a choice? Really? We are bound by the will of others. Our creators. The academies we are sent to. Those we apprentice under. Those we love. Even those who have the best of intentions for us force those intentions on us. And to hear some say it, Primus pre-destined all of this for us. Who are we to question the will of a God?"

"Ask yaself what kinda god would do that ta ya. None I'd wanna mess wit'." Jazz loosened his hold and stepped away. "'M sorry."

Thundercracker shrugged, feeling a distinct cold where Jazz had been. He was amazed that he wanted his warmth there again. "You didn't do it. Nothing for you to be sorry about."

"But we did," Prowl corrected him as he too pushed away. "No one gave you a choice. We presumed to know what was best for you without confirming with you that you wished for it. It was wrong. We pained you, we're sorry. But we are not sorry for the bond. We do not regret that. Just the way it came about."

"I need to... I need to go." Thundercracker felt the fine tremors shaking his plating. He would not believe them. In truth, he could not. And he felt hot and cold. The room was smothering him, suffocating him. He would die if he didn't leave, pressed by the weight of this temporary resting place of the deceased. At the same time he was so cold. So very cold. He wanted Jazz back. He wanted Prowl back. He wanted to curl up on the floor with one on either side and rest until this feeling went away.

Prowl pulled Jazz to him, and together they pressed understanding down the bond. "Take your time. All the time you need. We'll be here, we'll be waiting, when you're ready to come back."

And somehow Thundercracker knew they didn't mean they'd be waiting in the med bay. Would it be so awful to hope?

The seeker ex-vented deeply. "Thank you."

And with that, he was gone.