AUTHOR'S NOTE:

In response to Guest review, I'd like to do cover images but I'm not real techno savvy to design one, so sorry about that. Thanks everyone for your support!

*Warning for this chapter, it is quite graphic so anyone that deals with self harm please be safe.

Chapter 24 – An injury too far

CASEY'S POV

As soon as Brax and I got home from the hospital all I wanted to do was crawl away back out of the universe. I walked into my bedroom and closed the door and lay down on my bed. I pulled the scalpel blades out of my pocket and played with them in my hand.

My eyes shut as I fell into a state of thought. The sick feeling rose in my stomach again. I didn't know what to think. I was beginning to remember the events of what happened before I went into hospital and the urge to cut grew stronger by the minute. My thoughts were interrupted when I heard yelling at the front door.

I got up and opened my door a crack to hear Mum yelling to see me. I could tell she was plastered drunk. I watched as Kyle stormed out of the room after Mum had a go at him. I walked out and stared at Brax and Mum. I didn't expect Mum to come at me yelling. I was angry that she was even here. I didn't want to see her and I made sure they knew it too.

Mum was yelling at how selfish and stupid I was to try and attempt to kill myself. What the hell would she know! It was her fault I'm in this mess. I couldn't stand her being around me so I yelled at her to get out! My head was spinning and I felt so sick and overwhelmed. I couldn't deal with this!

I felt even sicker when Mum grabbed my arm and ripped up my sleeve, revealing my injuries, telling me I should be ashamed and how disgusting it is too see. I already know that! I'm already so ashamed at who I am. I didn't need a constant reminder of how screwed up I was and I didn't need everyone criticising my injuries. They were my secret and my salvation! I could not take it anymore my world was spinning around me.

I felt so exposed. I had to get out. I barely heard Brax yell at Mum to get out when I ran off, ignoring Kyle as he mumbled something to me. I had to get to the safety of my room. I needed to cut and I needed to do it now!

I was shaking inside full of emotion that needed to be released. I fumbled through my draw where I had hid the scalpel blades and pulled out the open one that I had stolen off the dirty trolley. Glancing at the large blade and breathing heavily I ripped up the leg of my shorts and dragged the blade hard across the middle of my right thigh.

I gasped at the intensity of the pain that ran through my thigh and latched my hand over the cut. The feeling of relief started to run through me as my mind focused more on the cut and the pain then the real world, my breathing slowed to heavy relieved gasps.

I removed my hand away from my leg, my hand was covered in blood, and I had blood running down my leg at a rapid rate. Grabbing an old shirt I wiped away the blood from my hand and leg. At this time I was able to notice the severity of the cut.

"Damn it."

I had pressed so hard without thinking and split the skin in what looked like the top layers of the subcutaneous layer, one more slice and it would have hit the muscle layer. It would not stop bleeding and it was wide and deep. I felt myself begin to panic, this was the worst I had ever done.

My heart jumped when I heard the rattle of my door followed by Brax's loud voice. "Casey! Casey! Open this door now! Casey!"

I hurried to grab my bandaging material and wrapped up my leg. I still had blood on my leg and couldn't risk anyone seeing what I had done so quickly changed into some black pants. Panicking I hid all the evidence as I knew if I didn't open my door Brax would break it down at any minute and discover what I had done.

Satisfied I had everything hidden, I breathed heavily and unlocked the door and opened it to see a worried Brax.

"Casey" He sighed looking at me.

"Sorry Brax". I said calmly.

I noticed Brax glance around my room. "Are you alright?" He asked me.

I had since settled from my panic and begun to feel better. I felt calmed by the throbbing pain pumping on my thigh, knowing I had released the emotion overtaking me. Everything was going to be okay.

"Yeah, just a bit shocked." I replied quietly and gave Brax a small smile.

BRAX'S POV

I stared at my brother in the eye trying to decipher whether he was lying or not. Seeing him withdraw after Mum said such horrible things to him and finding his room silent with the door locked scared the life out of me. I'd almost lost him after his last attempt that landed him in the hospital, there was no way I was letting Casey go that far again. I would put my life on the line to make sure he was okay.

I gave a sigh, trusting Casey's words. "Alright, but you let me know if you don't feel okay. I'm here for you to talk to at any time." I emphasized.

Casey just nodded. "Thanks Brax, but I'm really tired so I'm just gonna lie down." Casey told me, but something in his voice still seemed distant.

I just wish he would open up and tell me what's going through his mind and realise he's not alone, but Nate was right I couldn't push it otherwise it could cause Casey to shut down more.

Casey stepped back towards his bed. "Case?" I questioned. "Just do me a favor will ya? Don't lock your door. I'm worried about you mate."

Casey turned away before giving a nod. I closed the door slightly but not all the way and walked back out into the living room to where Heath was.

NORMAL POV

Heath looked at Brax as he entered the living room again. "Is Case okay?" Heath asked.

Brax shrugged. "I suppose so."

"I can't believe Mum would come here like that. If I had known she had been drinking I never would have told her about Case being home." Heath explained.

Brax sighed, sitting down on the lounge. "It's not your fault mate, you were only doing what you said, and letting her know."

Heath shrugged. Brax turned to Kyle. "Sorry you had to be part of that mate, Mum shouldn't have spoken to you the way she did, but she's never been one for compliments." Brax explained.

"Doesn't matter." Kyle shrugged. He had developed a tough skin after his upbringing and learned to brush off such remarks.

"This isn't going to be easy is it?" Heath asked and Brax sighed. "Nup."

Casey stayed in his bedroom for the rest of the afternoon and slept through until late afternoon the following day. Kyle, Brax, and Heath were in the kitchen and had left their brother to rest while they got on with their day.

"It's almost noon, you think the kid's okay?" Heath questioned, concerned as to why his brother had not gotten up yet.

"He was still sleeping the last time I went past his bedroom" Kyle replied.

"I guess he does need his rest after what happened yesterday with Mum and just coming out of hospital." Brax said.

"Hey big fella are you still taking the first shift in staying here? It's just that I promised to help Bianca with some stuff today." Heath asked.

"Yeah mate its fine. Kyle's got a shift on anyway so I'll stay here with Case."

Heath nodded and slapped Brax on the back as he headed out the door. "See ya."

"I better be on my way too." Kyle stated as he placed his empty glass on the sink.

Walking past Brax Kyle could see his brother lost in thought as Brax sat at the table fidgeting with his hands.

"Hey are you okay?" Kyle asked. Brax shook himself out of thought.

"Yeah." Brax replied sadly.

Kyle placed his hand on Brax's shoulder "We will get through this Brax."

Brax nodded and replied, "You better go." Kyle smiled and left, leaving Brax pondering on his worries.

BRAX'S POV

I couldn't help worrying about my baby brother, he was so vulnerable, and I felt useless that I couldn't fix this for him. He was my responsibility, I was meant to make everything okay in his life. Sighing I got up to check on him again. He was still covered over in his bed and for a brief moment I panicked that he wasn't breathing. I walked closer to his bed and relief ran over me as I saw his steady breathing.

"I don't know how, but I'm gonna make this right for you Case." I whispered.

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard a knock at the door. I stood staring hard at Mum when I opened the door. What nerve she had coming here after yesterday.

"Darryl."

"Mum what are you doing here? Haven't you done enough damage?" I demanded, folding my arms.

"Darryl please let me in. I need to see my baby, how is he?" Cheryl pleaded.

I was taken aback how could she even come here acting like that after what she said to Casey yesterday?

"Is this our Mum talking or the Mum hung-over from an alcoholic binge wanting forgiveness for the horrible things she said?" I snapped.

Mum let out a sigh. "I deserved that. I know what I said yesterday was wrong and I'm not here to ask forgiveness. I just want to see Casey and make things right."

She was pleading now and the look on her face was worn out, but I wasn't going to let her hurt Casey again.

"Casey's still in bed. You really hurt him Mum and until he's ready or even wants to talk to you, I don't want you here or anywhere near him." I said, standing my ground.

"Darryl please..." Mum begged.

"No Mum. If you really loved Casey you would do the right thing and leave now. Let him have time to deal with this."

I watched Mum withdraw backwards as tears fell down her face. She gave a nod and agreed to my ultimatum.

"Darryl, just please tell me if anything bad happens to my baby again." I nodded giving my word.

"Yep. Goodbye Mum." I closed the door as she left.

CASEY'S POV

I had woken to the sounds of voices at the front door. Groaning I got out of bed and gently rubbed the throbbing pain in my thigh where I had cut. Without even looking I knew the bandage had stuck. I opened my bedroom door and heard Mum pleading with Brax to see me. I didn't know what to feel when I heard Brax telling her to leave and standing against her. It was like he was protecting me.

My heart kept telling me everything didn't matter, that Brax was still my brother but it was my mind racing and telling me otherwise, controlling all my feeling. I felt torn. When Brax closed the door I slowly walked into the living room.

"Hey Case, how are you feeling?" Brax greeted me in a quiet tone.

Something about the way he said it made me feel like he really cared how I was feeling, but it was wrong he shouldn't.

"You must have needed that rest hey, it's one o'clock in the afternoon."

"Yeah" I whispered, trying to gather my thoughts.

"You want me to make you something to eat?" Brax asked.

"No thanks I'm not hungry."

I couldn't think about eating, I had too much on my mind. I heard Brax give a sigh as he looked at me.

"Case you have to keep your strength up, you have just gotten out of hospital. Have something mate." Brax pushed.

"Fine, I'll just have a piece of vegemite toast, but I wanna take a shower first."

Brax nodded then I left to go to the bathroom for a shower.

As I got into the bathroom I unwrapped the bandage on my leg. I couldn't help but wince as the material stuck to the wound. My heart skipped a beat when I saw how deep and nasty the wound looked. The edges were inflamed and the wound itself looked dirty and was weeping. I realised I hadn't even cleaned it after I did it yesterday. I probably should have gotten stitches, but then that would have just healed what I had tried to release. No I needed this. The worse the cut was the longer the sense of relief I had that everything was okay.

As I took my shower and the water hit the open wound on my leg. I gasped in pain. The pain had intensified and shot through my entire body, I almost thought I was about to collapse as my legs shook. I breathed through the pain as best I could but it became more difficult as I became dizzy. Blood was running down my leg again.

I quickly finished up in the shower and got out placing my towel tightly around my leg. Re-bandaging my leg, I could feel the fatty tissue and tenderness of the wound. I had really cut myself good this time. I had something to make me forget my inner demons. I was pleased with my efforts.

I walked back into the kitchen to where Brax had already set up some toast for me.

"Thanks." I said quietly.

Brax just gave me a comforting smile and I wanted to cry. I hated him pretending he had to care about me.