Stupeedoakus lived far out of the Athenian metropolis, in the middle of a dense jungle. If the author was bothered, you would have received several pages worth of description. But the author was not bothered and decided Hercules' story was more interesting than the jungle anyways...
"Damn, this jungle is so huge. The trees reach out like hands trying to touch the sun. The walls of green surround me from all sides. There are innumerable fruits, like mangoes and melons, that dangle in front of me, setting my taste-buds alight as drool slips from my mouth. Oh, how round and soft they look! The roots spring up like cruel feet trying to trip me up, but I am not so clumsy as to trip on any of them! ;)."
"What on earth did you do to your face?!" Cleon yelled. "And why are you giving worthless exposition about what this jungle looks like, it's not like anyone cares. Right Hercules?"
Hercules, meanwhile, was busy describing the glories of the flowers. "These flowers bloom as blue as the sky, and release scents as sweet and as pleasing as honey. Bees buzz joyfully from one bud to another, tasting the nectar of each flower. As the Son of Zeus, tis my duty to protect all creatures, so this Venus Fly Trap, equipped with cruel spines with which to pierce small animals, must be uprooted, and re-dug somewhere where no insects fly."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! You're all being poetic!"
"Cleon, what's wrong? You scream like you are being possessed by the demon of coconuts-" The minotaur smacked Hercules across the face, knocking poetry out of him. "Geez, thanks. For a second I thought we were going to be speaking like this for the rest of the story."
Raipicus too breathed a sigh of relief. "I really don't know what came over me either. Let's hurry out of this jungle before we get turned into echoes or something."
The three hurried quickly away, turned around a huuuuuuuuuuge oak tree, and found themselves peering at the cottage of the Wise One.
"Right." Said Hercules, clicking his neck and prepping himself for what was certainly going to be extremely, very good advice.
"Um... I don't think it's a good idea if we all go..." Cleon began. "I mean... last time..."
*Flashback*
The naked old man waved his crooked stick at him from his rapidly-sinking boat. "I'll get you, you bloody cow! I'll stew you in beef like... BEEF!"
*Flashback*
"Yeah Cleon, maybe you should stay here." Hercules agreed. "Raipicus, together we shall-"
"I'm not going in there. Remember last time?"
*Flashback*
"Wooooow girl you've got some huge-ass melons. But your man's got a small cock out in the backyard. Do you see where I'm going with this?"
*Flasback*
"I don't know why they thought I was telling them to break up, all I wanted to know was whether they were vegetarian or not."
"You're right. Only I can face Stupeedoakus and not incur his wrath. Wait here, good friends!" Hercules charged forwards, tripped, and rolled all the way to the door. Picking himself up like only a Son of Zeus could he knocked on the door three times, causing the whole thing to fall forwards at the feet of a hunch-backed old man with a beard that reached down to his feet, and so many wrinkles his face looked like it had been folded over several hundred times. "Stupeedoakus! Oh Wise One, I have come to you-"
"To find a quest to prove yourself as a Son of Zeus." The old man said in a bored tone. He got this literally every week.
"You truly are wise, for you could foresee my purpose. Please, give me a way to prove myself!"
The old man sighed. Then grinned wickedly and laughed like a madman. He had just thought of a diabolical scheme and now he had the perfect idiot to go ahead with it, and if he failed well at least he would be rid of Hercules once and for all. "I have just the thing for you, young Hercules. Await here!"
With speed his old bones normally couldn't manage, the old man whipped out a quill and parchment and wrote down in clear, Ancient Greek. "One, kill a Nimean Lion." Because it's pelt was impenetrable, and if he could get his hands on it's pelt he'd like to see someone try and beat him! "Two, Steal the Dragon's Eggs." Yes, baby dragons would make him very powerful. "Three, Turn a city to stone." The only way someone could do this was with Medusa's head, and whoever possessed Medusa's head was almost invincible. Grinning wickedly he wrote down twelve in total, the last three being: "Build a 'Bridge'", for they would have to rob his arch-nemesis Plato, to do this. "Bake a pie." For pies were nutritious and tasty. And finally "Defeat the Hydra," so that he could use it's deadly blood to poison Plato.
"Here you go Hercules! Remember, don't come back until you have completed all of them!" And laughing evilly, the old man slammed the door shut.
"You have my gratitude Wise One! May Zeus favor you eternally!" A random bolt of lightning hit the cottage, and set it alight.
Stupeedoakus ran out the door, screaming wildly as flames scrambled up his beard.
"I will see you later!" Hercules waved at him, as he dived into a lake. The blonde man walked back to where Cleon and Raipicus were hiding. "Friends, I have good news. The Wise One has given me a quest with which to prove my birth as a Son of Zeus!"
Raipicus snatched the paper from him, and began reading the quest over. "Wow Hercules, these sure sound really difficult. Maybe we should just do number eleven. Like baking a pie is so easy and pies are nutritious and tasty!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO! A son of Zeus does not do what is easy!" He snatched back the scroll, and started sweating as soon as he remembered something. He couldn't read.
"Hercules, are you okay?"
"You're sweating buckets man."
"A son of Zeus also knows that time is very important. We'll just skip to number twelve."
"Excellent idea!" Raipicus declared. "I mean how hard can killing a Hydra be?"