Flora Chapter 22: Welcome to the Lower Birth, a hellsing fanfic

Do not own, not mine!

Flora's POV:

I watched Jay as she scrolled down the list, my eyes a little damp from tears and missing Alucard as she switched to a new playlist and flashed me a grin. "This should get us to the airport." She said happily, and I peeked at the song list before she covered it with her hand. "Oy! No peeking!" she said with false sharpness, and I giggled, in a slightly better mood than earlier as she turned the volume up on the radio. "You do know I won't be able to do this in Italy? Enemy territory n' all that…plus I think the Iscariots you've been telling me about won't exactly like it." she said absently, and I paused. "You know…we're not supposed to like them. " I said slowly, and she grinned. "I'll find the ones that'll bug 'em the most and start compiling a playlist. In the mean time, let's listen." She said with an evil grin, and I nodded happily as she turned on the music.

"Ahahahaha-
Now, bow to me!

There was once upon a time in another place
An evil kingdom who no person dared to face
And the ruler was a girl so mean
A tiny little princess of only age fourteen!"

I blinked. "Do you have the others-" I started to ask, but she cut me off with another grin. "Are you kidding? I have all of the Seven Deadly Sins, and the songs related to them." She said proudly, and I nodded in awe.

"So much furniture littered her abode
Her loyal servant whose likeness surely showed
Josephine was what her horse was named
All the riches of the world is what she had claimed.

If you're short on money that's no fearful thing
Just take it from those who you dangle on a string
To those who feel that they want to bring me down
You'll just tidy up my gown."

Now, bow to me!"

Evil flowers
Steadily bloom
With an array of colorful doom
But the weeds who feel that they want to stay
They'll just die and feed me the same anyway."

"You don't think we could've used this in the "Iscariot hate" playlist?" she asked suddenly, and I frowned in thought. "Nah…they wouldn't dislike it all that much, just generally. We REALLY want to bug them." I said, and she nodded sagely. "Right."

"The princess held a love for a man
Of blue who wasn't very much her fan
But instead he chose his neighbor's girl
Of green who's eyes shone like a pearl.

The princess knew this and was filled with rage
She called the minister locked in her cage
And said in a soft voice to not be heard
"Make sure the green country is badly stirred."

Jay was silent with thought, and I was silent as well, biting my lip as I thought through all of the Vocaloid songs I knew that might freak out the leaders of Judas Iscariot. I had somewhat of an advantage over Jay when it came to this, since I not only knew more Vocaloid songs, I had actually interacted, seen, and talked to the Iscariot members before, whereas she had only heard stories from me and the others.

"Houses of the people were burned to the ground
So many voices would no longer make a sound
The people who had suffered so much pain
Didn't get pity from the one who'd slain.

"Oh, it's tea time."

Evil flowers
Steadily bloom
With an array of bloodied doom
Even though the flower is so very refined
The thorns had driven it's garden to decline."

We started passing houses with more and more frequency, the road straightening out bit by bit and traffic starting to crowd in as Jay's scowl grew prominent and she started grumbling under her breath, jerking the wheel in short, aggressive movements as she maneuvered us through the streets.

"To defeat the princess was no easy task
But the people could no longer wear their mask
Like a flock of birds they were led by
A red lady mercenary into the nigh.

All the anger that had built up over the years
Now consumed them without any fears
And her army was battered from the green war
Their attacks were not much of a chore."

"Damn, by everything freakish and unholy this traffic is like New York during a parade." shewhispered irritably, gunning the engine as we suddenly jumped forward, sliding between the gap of a truck and several smaller cars, as well as a tour bus with a cough of exhaust.

"Once they fell the countrymen surrounded the court
The servants ran away as time was rather short
Little woman princess would never pose a fight
And she was finally captured in the night
"You're such a disrespectful man!"

Evil flowers
Steadily bloom
With an array of finest doom
How the paradise that she made for herself
Put this broken doll right back on the wooden shelf."

I smiled as my best friend finally gave up and started staring admiringly at the sights of England, pointing out things her tour group had gone to with her usual vigorous energy.

"There was once upon a time in another place
An evil kingdom who no person dared to face
And the ruler was a girl so mean
A tiny little princess of only age fourteen.

She was to be punished at three o' clock
When the church bells resounded a tock
The person who was once royalty
Was bored in jail with no loyalty."

I started getting a bad feeling in my gut, the same one I always got when Integra had invited Maxwell and Anderson over, and fidgeted nervously as Jay explained some things she had seen in the Tower of London, expressing her disappointment in her lack of ghost sightings.

"At the time that eventually came
The church bells to her sounded rather lame
Without looking to faces of the crowd
Said she with eyes in a shroud
"Oh, it's tea time."

Evil flowers
Steadily bloom
With an array of colorful doom
Now the people speak of her without a second thought
That daughter of evil had received what she sought…"

Jay sighed as it ended, looking up and then back down as she unplugged the IPod and stowed it in her pocket, driving the car neatly into our parking space and getting out as I followed, palms wet. She grabbed both our suitcases and headed for the plane, me following hurriedly as the men checked my clearance –not hers, which surprised me, although she gave me a wink to warn silence– and let us on the plane. Before I could ask what she was talking about, she explained. "I won't have to get checked as much as you, because you're the master and I'm the servant. How many times have I told you, nobody notices the servants?" she said briskly, and I made an "ah" sound and nodded.

She started rummaging around the private jet, commenting softly to herself as I watched her. "Hey, the car's below us? Hmm…" she said, starting to grin as she looked up from a screen. "So, what am I gonna be?" I blinked, slightly confused by the phrasing. She waved a hand impatiently. "What kind of butler, refined, or what? 'Cause I have one of my genius ideas…" she said, and I shrugged. "Dunno. Tell me." I said, folding my legs and putting my hands in my lap as she grinned and made a frame with her hands. "I can see it now. See, when we land or meet them or whatever, you tell them that me being around King Fanger and all that weirdness kinda made me loopy, and then when they get in the car or whatever –I'm driving of course– I start playing all sorts of crazy music, not just Vocaloid. Savvy?" she asked, giving me the thumbs up, and I shrugged. "Yeah, sure. Go do whatever." I said, and she grinned and descended to the bay where they had put our car, probably starting to tinker with it as I sighed and found a soft chair to sleep on through the long flight. Or so I thought…

"A girl from the village, lost deep, deep in the woods,
Arrives at a mansion of the night, faded letter in hand..."

"JAAAAAY!" She popped her head through the entrance well, looking innocent. "Yeah?" she asked with a slight grin, and I pointed imperiously to the floor beneath us. "Exactly what do you think you're doing?" I asked icily, giving my best Integra impression as she beamed and shrugged. "Eh, I thought we could listen to some tunes on the way there." She said sheepishly as the song started getting into full swing beneath my feet.

"She knocks on the ominous manor's damaged door;

Villager: "Is anybody there?"
Butler: "My, do you need some help?"
Doll Girl: "WEL-come..."
Doll Boy: "To our WON-drous mansion..."
Maid: "Let me serve you tea!"

I sighed in resignation, leaning back against the chair as she saluted me and dove back under, hammering and clanking sounds starting to penetrate the music.

"Everyone gathers, and the guest is "appraised";

Master: "A meeting such as this, you know, must be fate!"
Doll Twins: "Then we will party! Party!"

"Let us welcome you!"

Doll Boy: "Hurry, hurrY!"

Butler: "Pour the wine!"

Maid: "Be merry, be festive!"
Lady: "Let us give a toast!"
Doll Girl: "Are you readY?"
Mistress: "Are we, indeed?"

"Then let us begin!"

You are the lead actress in this Crazy nighT, all dressed up with a glass of wine
Once you're just drunk enough, won't you enjoy yourself so?"

Well, it was one of my favorites, and Jay's favorite of all time. I sighed again and picked up an orange, starting to peel it morosely as I listened to the song.

"Sing, dance, make merry, forget what's sweet and bitter
'Till the point of madness, enjoy a HappynighT!

The night after the banquet, something seemed amiss
She went to sleep and awoke, but morning never even came...

Doll Girl: "Shall WE..."
Doll Boy: "Tell you a SE-cret...?"
Doll Twins: "Take a look at the clock... "

The girl became scared, and fled into a secret room
And opening the heavy door, she found…"

Hey…maybe we could include this in the "annoy Iscariot" track because of the-

"JesuS! JesuS!"
A pile of coffins...

Mistress: "Oh, dear..."
Master: "So you saw it..."
Doll Boy: "DangeR! DangeR!
Maid: "Don't be scared, please?"
Doll Girl: "Where are you goinG?"
Butler: "Where, indeed?"

"Please, wait! "

I smiled softly as I remembered the lines, the Japanese voices a little tinny and metallic, but since it was in a different language it didn't really matter all that much. I especially liked Bad End Night because of the way some English words were randomly stuck in, and how the people seemed to feel a need to capitalize some random letters of them.

"You are the lead actress in this Crazy nighT - is all according to script?
What, then, of tonight? What EndinG? It's all up to you, you know...

Search, look hard for a Happy endinG, but mess up the order, and it's all over
Does the True enD lie in the coffins?

Ah, is it another Bad∞End∞Night?"

An especially loud hammer was heard, and Jay cursed loudly as I heard a hollow thunk, rolling my eyes as she began cursing "fuzzy stuffed bears" and "doe-eyed rabbits".

"Villager: "What can I do to get back home?"
Master/Mistress: "Once the play is over..."
Butler/Maid: "Then you shall return..."
Villager: "The key to the Happy endinG..."
Villager: "Where has it ended up?"
Villager: "That coldly-glinting key..."

I couldn't help but lean forward and mouth the next line, smirking to myself as I did so, knowing Jay was probably doing the same thing below me.

"Villager: "...I fooound it."

I am the lead actress in this Crazy nighT, plunging a knife into your skulls
And once I'd swung it just enough...

I began to enjoy myself so! "

Speak of the devil, a tousled next of brown hair appeared over the lip of the trapdoor, and she scrabbled for her gloves, having changed into a more casual outfit sometime during the song and probably needing something to cut something else with.

"Run! Run! Run for your life! Forget the play and the lines!
'Till the point of madness, break apart this Bad∞End∞Night...

You are the lead actress in this Crazy nighT;

the cast and the stage are all gone
And with the story over, now, shall we all leave together?

Sing, dance, make merry, forget what's sweet and bitter
'Till the point of madness, enjoy a Bad∞End∞Night!"

I rolled my eyes as I heard the clanking pause, then resume as Jay muttered an insult to the song, probably having forgotten the tiny line at the very end and almost moved on. I had done that for ages before I trained myself to ignore the pause and wait.

"In the now-silent room, a shadow gave a round of applause
"A good show you put on tonight..."

And it picked up the letter, weeping..."

Suddenly she popped her head over the side again, a smear of engine oil darkening her cheek and her hands grimy, throwing the clean glove by her butler outfit with a slight grunt of effort. "I got an idea for the song thing!" she gasped, hoisting her elbows over the rim and pulling her grimy self up to my level. "What if…"

3rd Person POV:

Heinkel and Anderson stood side by side as the plane touched down in the empty field, the wind whipping at their clothing and lashing the trees by the nearby base. The top door opened, and the young heiress of Hellsing looked down at them, her sky-blue eyes more cold and uninviting than before as Heinkel sighed in boredom and Anderson shook his head sadly. Already the Protestant woman had corrupted and frozen this young teen into her image. The larger door at the belly of the plane opened suddenly, and a shiny black car drove out, an older woman with darker blue hair and a black glove on one hand at the wheel as she expertly swung it and bowed to Flora, a strange contortion considering she was in a car seat.

Flora smiled slightly, walking across to the Iscariots as the car drove to the road, idling and then cutting off as the other girl turned the keys and walked towards the stunned priests and impassive teen. "Hello, Mr. Anderson…Heinkel?" Flora finally said, sticking her hand out as both priest and nun shook it quickly, startled by the sudden movement. "Where's your…relative? And the vampire?" Heinkel asked after a few awkward moments, and Flora shrugged. "Sir Hellsing said I needed to do some more things and Jay is all the protection I need." She said boldly, and the aforementioned teen made an ironic salute, still silent. Heinkel and Anderson stared at her, and she looked back, studying them.

She saw a tall blonde priest and a smaller nun with fluffy hair, tied back a little and with priest clothing, which she remembered should mean something in the Catholic Church, but since she had never really paid attention nor cared about her parent's religion, she didn't know for sure. She dismissed her as a physical threat for the moment, instead turning her attention to Anderson. This was someone to watch out for certainly, more than Heinkel. Because although the smaller, slighter woman looked tough, it was the larger man that would be clubbing heads in a fight, the nun probably shooting down humans instead of the vampires Jay was being trained for. "C'mon boss. Let's go." She muttered, waving the others over as she opened and closed her door, allowing them to follow her and buckle themselves in, with Flora in the seat beside and both the Iscariots awkwardly place in the backseat.

She reached down to the radio, clicking it and starting to drive as the others looked at each other, Flora twisted around in her seat to do so. "Sorry about her, she's just grumpy unless she's listening to her music." She said cheerfully, and both priests nodded as Heinkel gave the teen a dubious look, not trusting any creature that spent time listening to today's garbage. Anderson did not do so –yet– because he reserved judgment for when he heard what the silent teen actually did listen to. Flora caught a hint of a smile from Jay before she turned on the music, ramping up the volume and then starting to drive.

"Ladies and gentlemen!
Boys and ghouls!
Step right up!
Behind this curtain lies a ghastly concoction of
Delight! Horror! Fantasy and terror!
Your every wish is our command!
Your every whimsical desire brought to life!
But I'm warning you
There's always a price!
Welcome to the greatest show unearthed!

La la-la la, la la-la la, la la la la

La la-la la, la la-la la, la la la la…"

Both Catholics started at the start of the song, glancing nervously at Jay as she started to smirk dangerously, eyes gleaming.

"The dark carnival is in town
You better be ready
Just follow the parade
Of dancing skeletons
Full of ghoulish delights
Around every corner
Don't tell your parents you're here
They will soon be mourners."

Anderson growled low in his throat, unable to stop the sound as he thought of his orphans, brought to memory by the "don't tell your parents" line. Heinkel simply stared in horror at Jay.

"Welcome to the lower birth
The greatest show unearthed
We appear without a sound
The darkest show around
We will leave you in a daze
Madness, murder, dismay
We will disappear at night
With blood on the concrete!

La la-la la, la la-la la, la la la la

La la-la la, la la-la la, la la la la…"

Jay hummed along to the chorus, tapping her fingers on the steering wheel to the rhythm as Flora sighed lightly and shook her head, putting on noise-canceling headphones and plugging them into a small MP3 as Heinkel almost reached for it, but drew her hand back with a small whimper as Flora practically abandoned them to her seemingly insane butler.

"I will be your ticket taker
Come inside, it's a dream
Enter the fun house of mirrors
No one can hear you scream
We can supply anything
That your heart desires
But the consequences
Will surely be dire!"

She giggled, which came out as a high-itched, disturbed sound, and Heinkel gulped as Anderson scowled deeply and felt for the comforting handles of his bayonets, hoping this would be done soon.

She started singing along, and that only made things worse as far as the priests were concerned, although it wasn't her singing voice, more the subject.

"Come inside for the ride
Your deepest, darkest fears

The best night of your life
You're never leaving here

The unknown
The unseen
Is what you're gonna find

Witness this
Witness that
Until you lose your mind!"

She stopped singing with a pout, the words fading away and simply the psychotic music remaining, but grinned again as soon as the words started up again, making Anderson groan as Heinkel turned white.

La la-la la, la la-la la, la la la la

La la-la la, la la-la la, la la la la…"

(The Greatest Show Unearthed by Creature Feature)

It stopped, but immediately went into another song as Flora actually pulled her headphones out, grinning at her butler as the other teen grinned back, snickering a little. Flora started and looked back to Heinkel and Anderson in the backseat, her face a little uncertain s Jay scowled and paused the music. "I…uh, I really like Vocaloid too, so you don't mind?" she asked hesitantly, and Heinkel opened her mouth to say she certainly would mind before Anderson elbowed her. "We're supposed to be polite and accommodating, so just shut up and sit through it." he muttered, and she nodded, a look of great weariness coming over her face as she nodded sullenly and made a "go on" motion. Flora beamed as her butler cackled and turned on the music again.

"Calling sweet, calls from deep, dark woods become a clear hypnotic deadly melody.
Draws you in, pulls you closer and closer, to that edge that darkens every fantasy!

Hurry now, hurry now, I call, listen my voice will guide you safely through the night.
Lets begin, let's begin, fun and games, beware that straying only gets you dreams of fright!"

Anderson swallowed hard as Heinkel ignored policy and covered her ears with both hands, growling under her breath as Flora and her butler shared hidden, wicked grins.

"Delicious sticks with candy stripes fills fancy not just appetite
Thinking this is all but a show won't make the syrup stop its flow
Sweetness turns out bitter when you find yourself slowly starting to drown
Delusion dreams will solve everything, so close your eyes and sleep

Dreams only work if you believe the hallucinations are reality
Cheating, peaking through the fold, I doubted you would ever be so bold!
You have revealed your hands are tied, that your wrists are bound and dragging at my heels
There's no escape, it's far too late, its already been done, a deal."

Flora smiled to herself, remembering the artwork for the music video and wondering if Jay could somehow work that into their grand master plan for annoying Iscariot. (subtly enough that it wouldn't harm anyone, of course)

"Sometimes I think I see a bit of doubt reflected in the shining blade
Fading in, fading out, never stays there is no room for pity in this dreamy place

There's a hole in the blindfold you see, but you'll just wish you never even tried to peek.
If you must you can look, but be warned this world was not made and not meant for the weak!"

Flora actually giggled, Jay following her as they both thought the same thing at once, namely how correct the lyrics were when it came to vampire hunting.

"My my, well what a wicked child you barely slept a wink at all!
If the blindfold keeps coming off then I shall put out an eyeball?
Sweetness turns so bitter when you find you're just fattened up for the meal!

It's all just a game,

What? Don't you like to play?

Why such a frightened face?"

Jay mimed a terrified face at Flora, who giggled, both ignoring the muttered sounds of insult and woe from the backseat, both Vatican agents glaring at the females in front with supreme annoyance.

"Closing your eyes won't do a thing; well be here when you come out of hiding,
You volunteered, so play with me, don't lose your mind so easily!
Don't be afraid it's just our game, Trick and Treat's the name, and mischief is our aim.
Tasty and sweet a tempting treat, so go ahead and eat yourself to sleep."

Rome came up to envelop the car, Jay slowing to gaze appreciatively at the ancient city as Flora gaped, in awe as Heinkel was held back by Anderson, thrashing violently as she tried to turn off the song while the two Hellsing agents were distracted.

"Hazy cool mist surrounds the night, and conceals the lies till everything's all right
Fanciful lies like butterflies spread out their wings, take off in flight,

Come run away down candy lane, full of ginger men and a field of sugar cane
Drenched in a dream the sweetest dream, but save me some?

Save some for me!"

(Trick and Treat, Vocaloid. English dub mewmoobaa4anime)

It clicked off, and there was a moment of silence before the next song started and Jay started to grin, Flora's mouth slowly dropping as she turned to her best friend. "You didn't." she mouthed, and Jay grinned wider as the tune got louder, making Heinkel sigh in annoyance and thunk her head against the seat, Anderson sitting stoically in his position of rigid annoyance, eyes hidden by his glasses. "I did" She mouthed back, and Flora bit the edges of her lips as she started to grin, hurriedly looking out the window as Jay cackled unabashedly, drawing strange looks from the people lining the sidewalk.

"The First Alice was a wrathful woman of the Spade,
And righteously she held a sharpened blade within her hand.

Never hesitating to slay all within her way,
Creating paths of blood that followed her through Wonderland.

Deep into the darkened forest, Alice walked the line,
Captured and imprisoned as an embodiment of sin.

If it were not for the murderous wake left behind,
No one would have suspected that she had ever been."

They both grinned at the familiar lyrics, and Jay tapped her fingers against the steering wheel in rhythm as they trundled up the cobbled streets, nearing the Vatican as Heinkel moaned in relief and Anderson heaved a weary sigh.

"The Second Alice was a fragile man of the Diamond,
The broken echo of the lies within demented words.

He sang his twisted melodies to all in Wonderland,
Creating the image of the sick and the disturbed.

Deadly yet so beautiful, a voice just like a rose,
Was shot by a madman who silenced him to death.

Single rose bloomed in his place with no music composed,
With twisted grin this dying man lay breathing his last breath."

Anderson made a face as Jay hummed along, and Flora had to muffle her giggles and grin in her sleeve to keep the Iscariots from noticing anything.

"The Third Alice was an innocent young girl of Club,
An enchanting graceful figure in the world of Wonderland.

She charmed the people in the land to her beck and call,
A peculiar country answering to each command.

So she rose into the throne to be the country's queen,
Consumed by paranoia of her own impending death.

Soon the queen succumbed to a dark and nightmarish dream,
Disguised in kindness, loathing fate, she secured her regime."

Jay looked alert as they passed into the Vatican, searching for the place to park a large black car. Flora removed her sleeve from her mouth and quickly checked her appearance in the mirror, which her friend elbowed her for. (Subtly of course)

"And as this passed two children walked in the woods,
Partaking in tea underneath the trees they'd never part.

They found an invitation to the queen,
It was the Ace of Hearts."

Jay made a satisfied sound, driving into the parking lot and looking around for a good spot to place the car as Heinkel, Anderson, and Flora all started gathering their stuff together.

"The Fourth Alice was a duo of curiosity.
Both were lost and could not find the boat where they began.

And so they ran through countless open doors so recklessly.
A brother and a sister running wild through Wonderland.

A stubborn elder sister.
A witty younger brother.

But they had strayed too far into Alice's Wonderland-"

There was a low thrum of sound, and Jay grinned as she neatly parked the car, driving backwards in a sudden lurch and cutting of the engine.

"They were never woken from their terrifying dream,
Forever they would wander this twisted fairytale!"

(Alice of Human Sacrifice, Vocaloid. English dub by rockleetist)

Anderson and Heinkel were out of the car in an instant, and Flora followed at a more stately pace as Jay smirked and turned off the music, pulling on both gloves as she followed her employer. The greatest of Catholic buildings loomed over our heads, and Jay took in a deep breath through her nose, then let it out as they passed into the looming archway. Candles, incense, old wood and closed windows with stuffy rooms. Typical church smells. She thought, and Flora cast her a sympathetic glance as the butler wrinkled her nose and mouthed "Catholics". The Hellsing's eyes widened as she choked back a giggle, and they both straightened as the two priests flanking them did the same. The doors opposite them opened, and Jay slowly let her clenched hand loosen, a glimmer of blue showing around it for a moment before the light shifted. Maxwell stopped in front of the young Hellsing, using his greater height and more intimidating aura to attempt to force her into a state of submission. Flora took a deep breath, fighting the sense she was out of her league. I can do this. Alucard and Integra and Seras and Jay and all the others believe in me. I can do this. Her eyes narrowed as she tilted her head back a little to stare down Maxwell.

"Section Thirteen. Shall we?"

"Yes. Right this way."