A/N's: the story of my life... got home too late again... so sorry for those who are ahead of me in time and had to wait really long... And a huge thank you to everybody who reviewed! Can't reply just now as it is midnight already, want to get this chapter up for you guys and then I am off again... we are going to a German Christmas market, so that will be fun! Be back on Monday!
The briefing room was filled with SG-1, minus their team leader, Doctor Fraiser and Colonel Bayfield. General Hammond entered the room, ordering them all to sit down. "Good morning, people. Welcome, Colonel Bayfield. Thank you for joining us. Doctor? How is Colonel O'Neill doing?"
"Under the circumstances the Colonel is doing fine, Sir. He's responding well to the antibiotics; his fever is gone and the infections are
clearing. I expect to be able to suture the wounds soon, maybe tomorrow. His kidney and liver are recovering as expected, luckily there's no permanent damage done. His elbow needs a couple of weeks more to heal," Fraiser summarized.
"Good. Anything else? How is he coping?" General Hammond asked.
Fraiser shrugged her shoulders. "That's hard to say just yet, Sir. Colonel O'Neill is not one to open up easily. He's been having some
rough nightmares and as far as I know hasn't spoken to anyone about what has happened."
Hammond looked around.
"Jack hasn't said anything to me, but I also haven't asked him about it," Daniel stated. "I think Jack needs some time."
"O'Neill has not revealed anything," Teal'c said.
"I doubt it that the Colonel would ever tell me what happened, Sir," Major Carter shrugged.
"He'll be fine," Colonel Bayfield told them confidently. "As Dr. Jackson said, Colonel O'Neill needs time. Let him do it the way he wants to."
Hammond silently studied his Second's former CO, then decided to give it a rest for the moment. "Colonel, what happened out there?"
Colonel Bayfield rose to his feet and took out a map of Camp Ockeloen. It was the same one he'd used earlier to point out the details before the team went to Tyberia. Indicating the directions, he explained how they'd reached the camp, the location where he'd left the others before searching the mine field with Teal'c, how they'd managed to get inside. He stumbled, his voice filled with emotion as he told how he'd witnessed Major Crook's burial, then explained how they'd rescued Colonel O'Neill.
Major Carter filled in her part, of how the remaining trio had retreated to the second meeting point, and then moved on to the part where they'd reached the ravine.
Colonel Bayfield explained why he'd decided to split up, how he and Major Carter had reached the other side of the ravine and how they were captured.
Hammond stared from one person to the other before finally letting his eyes rest on Dr. Jackson. "What happened next?"
Daniel looked up, glancing at Teal'c. "I was covering the spot where Jack and Janet were hiding, but soon got knocked out," he said apologetically. "When I came to, Teal'c was captured as well..."
Teal'c slowly bowed his head. "Indeed, the Tyberian guards forced me to surrender."
"How did you get free?" Hammond demanded.
"Colonel O'Neill and Dr. Fraiser were successful in freeing us, General Hammond," Teal'c explained.
Hammond lifted his brows in surprise. Colonel Bayfield responded equally. All eyes were now directed at Dr. Fraiser, who nervously fumbled with the documents in front of her on the table.
"Doctor?" Hammond asked gently. "What happened?"
Fraiser refrained from looking up. "There was one guard...," she started, her voice trembling. "He..."
All eyes watched her with concern as she fell silent, resting her face in her hands. The silence was unnerving and the only sound that was heard was the increased breathing of the SGC's CMO.
Carter, suddenly remembering the frightened way her friend had responded to sudden movements, moved forward to gently touch the doctor's wrist. "Janet?"
"He..." Fraiser started, mustering up the courage to reveal her worst nightmare. Dropping her hands on the table, she lifted her head to face the General and resolutely but hastily told the rest. "Colonel O'Neill was asleep when the guard appeared. He threatened me, but before he could do anything to harm me, the Colonel woke up and managed to get him off me..."
"Oh, my. Janet, that must have been awful," Sam said sincerely, carefully studying her friend's face.
"Take your time, Doctor," Hammond gently responded. "What happened next?"
"I..." Fraiser hesitated before lowering her eyes. "I shot him, Sir."
Carter gasped, Daniel just stared at the female doctor and Bayfield sat there, shaking his head.
Hammond decided that that was enough information for the moment on that part. "And then you went to rescue the others," he concluded.
Fraiser slowly nodded. "Yes, Sir. Colonel O'Neill planned it all and told me what to do. My job was to take out the guard keeping Teal'c while he took out the other two."
"Dr. Fraiser managed to shoot the first guard and free me," Teal'c filled in. "Colonel O'Neill eliminated the second guard and together we managed to overpower the third man."
"Which appeared to have been the commander of Camp Ockeloen," Daniel joined in.
"The commander?" asked Hammond. "The one responsible for Major Crook's death?"
Daniel nodded. "Oh, yeah. Jack was having a little problem with that, but soon regained control again."
"Colonel O'Neill had also recognized the guard that was threatening me," Fraiser said. "He didn't give me more information, though."
Hammond sighed. "Your escape doesn't appear to have been easy at all... How did you manage to rescue Colonel Bayfield and Major Carter?"
"That was another idea of Jack's..." Daniel started. "We set up a scene to draw the other guards' attention, with the dead guards propped up against the rocks and one on the gurney taking Jack's place. I changed clothes with one of them, while Jack climbed to the other side to come in from behind."
"The act seemed very believable," Colonel Bayfield joined in. "We had no idea what was going on, but the guards forced us to walk back through the ravine. One of them didn't come with us, but decided to take the same route Colonel O'Neill had taken before him. Somehow, the Colonel must have captured him."
"The group was coming closer and we were afraid they would see through our act. Teal'c moved around to turn events in our advantage again," Daniel continued.
"One guard was approaching us. The other two remained with Colonel Bayfield and Major Carter. I had also noticed the location of Colonel O'Neill and realized he could not be of assistance. I captured the guard and took aim at one of the other guards still holding Colonel Bayfield and Major Carter. Unfortunately, I hit Major Carter instead."
Carter smiled at him. "It's okay, Teal'c." She then turned to look at the General. "Colonel Bayfield had managed to get his hands free, Sir. Then one of the guards grabbed me by the throat, dragging me backwards while the other pointed his gun at the Colonel..."
Hammond glanced questioningly from one person to the other.
"That's when Colonel O'Neill appeared, Sir. Somehow he'd climbed down the slope and jumped in on us from behind, taking out the guard that was holding me. The last guard followed shortly, Sir," Carter finished her part.
"What can I say," the General said after a moment of silence. "Apart from well done..."
"Thank you, Sir," Bayfield said. "But we wouldn't have made it that far without Colonel O'Neill's active role in the whole rescue operation."
Nodding, Hammond smiled. "Colonel O'Neill is well known for his abilities to never give up."
"He hasn't lost the touch," Bayfield agreed with a smile before finishing the report. "We encountered no more trouble after that and carried the Colonel out of the country. We made one little detour to pick up the package Major Crook had hidden before he got captured and finally crossed the border into Turkey. An old friend of Colonel O'Neill's drove us to a safer area where we could call for a chopper."
The General wearily rubbed his eyes. "I'm glad you made it home safe. And although we all regret Major Crook's death, we should not forget that this whole operation saved three people's lives. Thank you all. You're dismissed. Doctor Fraiser? My office, please."
Once in Hammond's office, Fraiser closed the door behind her before looking at the General.
"Doctor, I cannot even imagine what you've been through out there. Although I realize it must be hard to talk about it, I need to know how you're doing. I can tell you haven't slept well lately and I think you should see someone to help you through this."
"I'm okay, Sir," Janet said, although she realized she didn't sound convincing. "It's not easy, I admit that, and I have some trouble sleeping. But I will be all right..."
Hammond studied the woman in front of him, trying to determine what to do. He shook his head slightly. "I still think Doctor Warner should take over the infirmary for the time being. You need time."
"Sir, with all due respect, Colonel O'Neill needs me. He's been through a lot and I'm the only one he really trusts enough to eventually talk to. I've worked enough with the Colonel for the past four years to know how to help him," Fraiser protested.
Hammond thought it over for a second, then nodded. "All right. I'll allow you to continue Colonel O'Neill's treatment; however, Doctor Warner will take over the rest of the infirmary. I will re-evaluate my decision one week from now."
Janet's face lit up. "Thank you, Sir."
Hammond smiled at her. "I trust you to help Colonel O'Neill get back on his feet, Doctor. Just don't disregard your own needs in the meantime. Please... Talk to someone." He walked her to the door, placing one arm comfortably around her shoulder. "You know my door is always open, don't you?"
Fraiser smiled. "Yes, Sir," she said. Then she left to return to the infirmary.
General Carter walked through the corridors of the SGC. He would be leaving soon and decided to stop by the infirmary to check on Colonel O'Neill. Although he hadn't been present at the briefing Hammond had held to get the whole story, he'd heard bits and pieces and had a pretty fair idea of what had happened.
From his daughter's comments he knew O'Neill was not his usual self; withdrawn, silent, bad-tempered and resigned. Nobody had dared to use the term depressed, but after hearing what the remaining members had to say about their CO's state of mind, it was exactly that word that came to mind.
Carter had his own history of missions gone wrong, of losing colleagues and good friends and struggling to get his act back together. He also was a good judge of character and knew that O'Neill would recover completely; not only physically, but psychologically as well. It only would take time. And maybe a little help from a friend, he thought idly.
Relieved to find nobody with O'Neill when he stepped into the room, Carter displayed a wide smile. "Morning, Jack! How are you doing?"
O'Neill, sitting up with the head end raised, absentmindedly made a waving gesture with his right hand. "Morning. Fine."
Without paying attention to the short reply, Carter grabbed a chair and seated himself near the bed. "You look better this morning, although they don't seem to feed you properly here."
O'Neill frowned in surprise. "Err?"
"You're so skinny that even my cargo ship flying over could knock you down... I don't suppose they serve pizza here, do they?" Carter joked.
"Unless you smuggled one in... that would be a no, Sir," Jack responded, smiling a little now.
"I'll order Sam to get you one," Carter said, his eyes twinkling. More seriously, he pointed at O'Neill's bandaged arms. "How's everything healing?"
"Pretty good. Fraiser said she would start stitching parts this afternoon."
"That's good," nodded Carter. "The sooner that's done, the sooner you can get off that lazy butt of yours and help me nail some Goa'uld again."
Another grin made it to O'Neill's face. "Yes, Sir."
Enough with the playing around, Carter thought. "Jack, I stopped by to tell you that I'm really sorry about your friend." Carter carefully examined the Colonel's face.
O'Neill swallowed and he dropped his head.
"He didn't deserve to die," started Carter.
"Damn right he didn't," O'Neill softly, but firmly, joined in.
"And I'm sure there was nothing more you could have done," the General continued.
O'Neill remained silent, the sound of his increased breathing the only evidence that he'd heard what Carter had said.
"Was there, Jack?" Carter demanded, a bit sharply. O'Neill stared at the blankets, one hand clenched to a fist.
"Feeling guilty, are we, Jack?" Unmercifully, the Tok'ra General pushed on, without taking his eyes from the person in front of him.
O'Neill let out a deep sigh while covering his eyes with the palm of his hand. "Damn it, Jacob..." he murmured.
"Well, since you're beating yourself up over this..." Carter said defiantly. "What happened?"
O'Neill's hand, still covering his face, was trembling now. His chest was heaving as he gulped in air, still refraining from talking.
"What happened, Colonel? The commander of the base, he was playing a little rough, wasn't he? What did he want?"
"The box Marc had hidden..." Barely audible, O'Neill responded, his voice muffled by his own hand still pressed over his mouth.
"Is that why he beat you up as well?" Carter demanded. "Or was there something else?"
Dropping his hand back on the blankets now, Jack inhaled deeply before shrugging helplessly.
"He was pissed," Carter guessed, taking in the face O'Neill pulled. "Why? Because you came marching in, rescued three of his prisoners and messed up his camp. Figures." Carter nodded, the Colonel's body language confirming his conclusion. "Then what?"
O'Neill looked away, biting on his lip. Both his hands were folded to fists now.
"Then what, Jack? Another interrogation session? For the both of you?" Knowing from Fraiser that the Colonel had been present when Marc Crook was shot, Carter kept pushing, asking and guessing for details. "Did he dislocate your shoulder then?"
O'Neill slightly shook his head.
"No? That was already done?" Carter went on; noticing the brief glance O'Neill threw at the elbow secured with the external fixation device. "Okay, so he did that. What did he do to Marc Crook?"
O'Neill closed his eyes.
"Come on, I doubt it that this man treated Marc Crook any better than he treated you. What happened?"
"He played around with Marc's already broken ribs, okay?" O'Neill snapped in sudden anger, as he briefly looked at the General, his eyes filled with rage, before turning his head again. Another sigh followed and then O'Neill lifted a trembling hand to run through his short grey hair.
The General closed his eyes in despair. Knowing he had to continue, he forced himself to steady his voice. "What happened next?" Refusing to say more, Jack stared at the wall.
"Colonel?" Carter demanded sharply, after waiting for a while.
"We tried to bust out..." O'Neill softly answered, his voice filled with emotion. "Didn't work, though..."
Impressed that the two men still had the spirit to fight back at that moment, Carter nodded. "That must have pissed the commander off even more, then." He studied O'Neill's features carefully, wondering how far he could push this man and whether it would be worth it in the end. His voice softening, he asked, "So?"
Surrendering, O'Neill fumbled with the sheets. "One bullet, three shots." He never looked up, and failed to explain the harsh words.
Carter frowned. "One bullet, three shots? What do you mean?"
"One bullet, three shots," repeated the Colonel solemnly. Then, unable to explain as his voice caught in his throat, Jack raised his hand, put one finger against his temple and closed his eyes.
"You mean he played Russian roulette? With you?"
Barely visible, O'Neill nodded his head.
"Holy Hannah," breathed Carter. His mind raced as he tried to guess what had happened. "He actually pulled the trigger?" He searched for answers by carefully watching how O'Neill reacted and thought to detect a slight shaking of the head. "He didn't? He made you do it yourself?"
This time no answer was forthcoming, although the shaking arms and the beads of sweat appearing on O'Neill's forehead told him everything he needed to know. Carter could only imagine what that must have been like, being forced to pull the trigger like that. He leaned back in his chair with half closed eyes, giving the other man time to regain his composure as well as needing it himself to deal with the new information.
After a while, O'Neill shifted and drew his knees up until he could lean his right arm on them and buried his head. His voice was harsh, soft and unsteady, as he told Carter the rest. "After three times, the commander was outraged. He grabbed the gun and fired it at Marc's temple..." Unable to continue, O'Neill continuously hit himself on the knee with his clenched fist.
Carter leaned forward and grabbed O'Neill's hand, forcing him to stop hammering. "Jack," he started, "I can't even imagine what it must have been like. I am so sorry." Carter searched for the right words. "There was nothing you could do about it, Jack. Nothing. That man wasn't planning to let you live either. You know that, don't you?"
O'Neill lifted his head and for the first time during this conversation he searched the General's face. His eyes were dark and anguished. "It doesn't make it easier."
Carter made a nodding gesture. "I know. It doesn't. But you've got to accept that there's nothing you could have done in this case, Jack. Go and ask yourself what would have happened if the bullet had been in the third chamber. You would have been dead and Bayfield would have rescued Marc. Or the commander would have killed Marc, too. What difference does it make? It didn't happen that way; and it would all have been horrible, so stop blaming yourself. There's no use."
O'Neill sat there, silently letting Carter's words sink in.
Carter's chin dropped to his chest as Sel'mac took over. The General's head was lifted again and his eyes searched those of O'Neill, while the Tok'ra spoke up. "There is no greater evil than the craving for total power. You cannot reason with a maniac blinded by his needs to dominate others. You cannot justify this insanity. For the sake of every living creature in the universe, however, we must keep fighting it. We cannot give up. Don't let the evil win, O'Neill. Don't take yourself down over the actions initiated by those who think they are Gods. If you do that, you give the devil fuel to survive. If you don't, you have achieved something. You have gained, maybe not enough, maybe you wanted more, but it was all you could get this time. Eventually the good will overcome the bad. You've got to believe that."
O'Neill stared at the General with the Tok'ra in control, but the head slowly dropped again and Carter was back, a weary smile forming on his lips.
The General gently placed a hand on O'Neill's shoulder as he rose to his feet. "Take your time, Jack. Get well and come back to us. There are lots of people who need you."
Although his voice was still rough from emotion, O'Neill nodded slowly. "Yes, Sir. Thank you."
With a final farewell General Carter walked out of the room, surprised to find Janet Fraiser standing there in the hallway. Motioning to her, he waited as she followed him and they stepped inside her office. "How long were you there?"
"Long enough," Fraiser shrugged. "I'm sorry but..."
Carter lifted one hand up. "You don't need to apologize to me, Doctor. He is your patient..."
"I'm surprised that you got all of that out of him," Fraiser started, still shaking in shock from what she'd learned listening to the conversation between the two men.
"You know, the worst thing for O'Neill is to drop this whole mess on his friends' shoulders, especially after what you all have been through to rescue him. He would prefer carrying the burden alone. From what I know of him, he won't be comfortable with talking to somebody he doesn't know either," Carter took in the affirmative nods of Fraiser. "I happen to be somewhere in the middle. Besides," he smiled now. "Jack still sees me as a General. And although you might think otherwise, he still has a hard time disobeying direct orders. So when I say talk, he has to talk..."
Frasier grinned, agreeing that General Carter had a point. The grin quickly faded, however, to be replaced by a concerned frown. "Will he get over this?"
Carter's eyes locked on hers. "In the end," he nodded confidently, and then turned to leave. "Give him time."
Awwww. Hope you enjoyed that conversation between Jack and Jacob!
Two chapters left, guys... See you on Monday!