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Chapter 30 – I can't do it

CASEY'S POV

I walked into the gym and flicked the lights off except the one for the office. I slumped down against one of the pieces of equipment. I felt so much pain and anger run through me. I couldn't take it anymore. I tried to get through this but it just wasn't working.

I pulled my blade out of my wallet and started slicing small, thin, cuts over my arms, letting the pain and anger out. I didn't care anymore. Andy was right I should have done this properly the first time. I stared at my wrist and held the blade against it, hovering over the blue vein under the skin. My hand was shaking and I had tears falling down my face. I had a job to do but my body wasn't co-operating with my mind. All I could think was, just do it, but my hand kept pulling back. Why did this have to be so hard?

NORMAL POV

Ten minutes had passed and Brax and Heath started to worry that Casey had not come out of the gym yet.

"What's taking him so long?" Heath asked.

Alarm bells suddenly ran through Brax's mind and he rushed to open the door, but found it locked.

"Damn it! He locked the door! Casey! Casey! Open this door now!" Brax yelled as he banged on the door, but received no response.

Seeing his older brother's panic, Heath followed suit and bashed on the door also.

"Casey! Open up or I'm gonna bust it in and kick your butt into next week! Casey, you hear me?!" Heath yelled.

Brax banged on the door again. "Casey I mean it! Don't be in there doing something stupid, okay mate! We can get through this. Just please open the door!" Brax yelled.

They were interrupted by John Palmer who was walking by. "Oi what's going on here with all the yelling?" He asked.

Brax turned around to face John. "Casey's locked himself in the gym and we think he might me in there hurting himself...or worse." Brax explained.

John rushed to grab his spare keys to the gym out of his pocket. "Geez, I didn't realise Casey was that bad."

"Well he is Palmer so hurry up!" Heath snapped as John went to unlock the door.

As soon as John moved away Heath and Brax barged through the door.

"Casey!" They both yelled in unison and rushed into the gym.

Upon hearing only silence, Brax stopped Heath, not wanting him to see anything unbearable.

"I'll go." Brax said quietly though fear, for what he would find.

"You boys okay?" John yelled from the entrance.

"Yeah, we got it. Thanks Palmer!" Heath yelled as he waited for Brax to get back.

BRAX'S POV

I walked cautiously towards the main room of the gym, utterly terrified at what I would find. I hoped I was not going to see my baby brother dead.

"Casey? Casey? Where are you?" I called out.

I suddenly stopped when I saw Casey sitting on the floor of the gym. I squint my eyes in the dark and noticed him looking quiet and he was holding something in his hand, against his wrist.

Stepping closer I saw he was holding a blade to his wrist.

"Casey!"

I went to run towards him but he stared up at me and I could see tears running down his face, it was hard with the dim light but they were there.

"Don't! Move any closer and I'll do it!" He shouted at me.

Fear running through my body at the thought as Casey pressed the blade against his wrist again, his hand shaking.

"Okay. Okay." I said as calmly as I could muster and held my hands up in a surrender, hoping he would realise I was not going to push him.

There was silence while I just stared at my broken brother, holding the blade shakily against his wrist. I could tell he was hesitant. He eventually let out a heavy sob and glanced up at me.

"Brax I can't do it! I want to but I just can't do it!" Casey cried.

I slowly stepped forward not saying a word.

"Brax? Do you remember when you took me to school for the first time?" Casey spoke.

"Yeah, of course, I would never forget it." Casey took a heavy breath and continued.

"You waited by the gate with me until I was ready to go in because I was so scared...then you told me I had nothing to be afraid of because you wouldn't let anything make me feel scared."

I sat down next to Casey and listened attentively while he was turning the blade in his fingers. Casey glanced at me.

"Well I'm scared now Brax. I can't deal with knowing you and Heath aren't my real brothers. This is worse than the time you rescued me from that robbery with Danny...and as for that I can't accept the fact that I'm a cold blooded murder! I deserve to die Brax! I can't do this! I just can't!" Casey yelled distressed and gripped the blade so tightly in his hand until I saw a trickle of blood seep through his hand.

I grabbed his hand and took the blade out. He was still staring in a daze. I grabbed his face in my hand and forced him to look at me.

"Casey don't you ever say that! You do not deserve to die and you are not some cold hearted murder!" I yelled at him.

"Casey I raised you and you mean everything to me. You are my brother and the most kind-hearted person I know, so don't you ever think different ya understand?" I warned him.

Tears fell down his face and he slowly nodded at me. I grabbed his upper arm and stood up.

"Come on, let's go. Heath's probably waiting to tear this place down to see if you're okay."

I helped him up and walked with him outside of the gym.

NORMAL POV

Heath stood frustrated with his back facing the doorway of the gym and his hands in his hair. He turned to see Casey and Brax exit the gym and ran up to them.

"Geez Casey! What the hell are you doing?" Heath yelled, but Brax waved him off.

"Heath don't, I got it." Heath shook his head at Casey.

"I'm glad you didn't do anything stupid Case." Heath added in a whisper, Casey only nodding in response.

The three brothers then walked back home to where they found Kyle sitting on the couch after his shift had finished.

"Hey guys, how was the beach?" Kyle asked.

"Don't go there mate." Brax replied. "Huh?" Kyle questioned.

Casey wandered into the kitchen to get himself a drink and Brax filled Kyle in on what had happened.

"Woah, Is Casey alright?" Kyle asked quickly.

"Yeah I talked some sense into him before he got too far." Brax added.

The three brothers turned to Casey as he exited the kitchen.

"You okay?" Brax asked and Casey gave a weak smile.

"Yeah." Casey was now seeing the truth about who was his real family.