AUTHOR'S NOTE:

To Sandy; Thank you for your wonderful Christmas wishes, I appreciated it so much. I hope you had a wonderful Christmas. :D

All the best to all my readers and reviewers during this festive season and new year, thanks for supporting my story! Sadly I've only written 1 more chapter, so enjoy. :)

Chapter 33 – Not giving up

After my talk with Mum I started to feel differently like I was on the way to discovering who I really was. I managed to start living my life like I had before any of this revelation came about, that was of course until one day I just woke up, and it was like my world was crashing down around me again.

I didn't understand it, I thought I was over all of this. I felt the need to just get out. I got dressed and walked out towards the front door. Kyle, Brax and Heath were in the living room having some discussion over something that I wasn't really listening to.

"Hey Case where ya going?" Heath asked.

"It doesn't matter." I replied.

Brax raised his eyebrows at me. "Casey what's wrong? You not feeling alright?"

I could hear concern in his voice but I couldn't escape the sick voices in my head telling me again that my life was a mistake.

"Just leave me alone! It doesn't matter okay! Nothing's helping!" I shout.

I couldn't think clearly. I thought talking to Mum would have made things easier, but I still feel so confused and have the urge to break my skin.

"Casey where is this coming from, you've been doing really well. Talk to us mate." Brax encouraged.

"Yeah Case sit down. We'll listen." Heath added.

"No I just need you all to shut up and leave me alone!" I yelled and went to storm out of the house.

NORMAL POV

Brax stood up from the lounge to face Casey. He certainly did not want Casey go to back to feeling the way he was, he couldn't take seeing Casey so hurt anymore.

"Casey I've had enough of all the fighting and walking on eggshells around you! I don't give a stuff who your father was, your family is right here waiting to help you but you won't let us!"

Casey glared in shock and was about to open his mouth but Brax cut him off as he continued his rant.

"You might not be able to see it but I care about you! We all do. So stop shutting us out and move on! I don't know what else there is left to do Casey. I'm giving you one last chance to stop all this and let us help you. If you walk out that door don't expect me to come after you this time! I can't stand by and watch you destruct like this!" Brax yelled.

Casey turned towards the door and took a few steps. The thought of Brax giving up on him felt like someone had ripped out his heart. It seemed like the only thing that Casey felt he could hold onto while going through this, the part that was inside him telling him Heath, Kyle and Brax were his brothers and now Brax was threatening to take all that away.

"Casey please." Brax spoke softer, but Casey gave no response feeling too numb at the ultimatum.

Brax sighed and turned to walk away.

"Brax?" Kyle called.

Casey had turned around to face them again, with tears running down his face. Brax shook his head with frustration as he looked to Kyle and Heath wondering what they wanted.

Heath gave a head nod and Kyle raised his eyebrows. "Look."

Brax turned back around to face Casey.

"I want to be okay with this so bad but I don't know if I can. I keep trying but it's like it's not working. I'm sorry." Casey sobbed, finally letting go of everything that had been weighing him down.

Brax sighed and walked over to Casey hugging him. "Case, it's okay, but don't you give up." Brax replied.

Heath and Kyle walked over to Brax and Casey and joined in the hug.

"We're all here to help you Case. No matter how long it takes." Brax added.

"We're a family." Kyle concluded.

Casey gave a weak smile and wiped his eyes as the four brothers pulled away. Brax held Casey's arms.

"So you with us on this one?" Brax asked, receiving a nod from Casey.

"You're all my brothers I get that now."

"You bet squirt." Heath smiled and gently slapped Casey's back.

The brothers sat down and Casey went on to explain everything he had been feeling and talked about his self harm.

"You do know it's going to take me awhile to stop it all though, it's not easy."

Brax nodded. "I've got a while." Brax reassured, making Casey feel like he was part of the family again.

"I'm really sorry for everything I put you all through and I'm grateful that none of you ever gave up on me." Casey whispered.

"Well big fella here was almost going to if you hadn't finally realised." Heath said with a smile.

Casey stared at Brax. "I wouldn't have blamed you." Casey replied quietly.

"How long have you known me Case?" Brax asked.

"No matter how hard you push me. I would never give up on you, and I'm glad you didn't see my bluff back there. You gave me no choice but to give an ultimatum and hope that it made you see through that foggy cloud of yours and I'm glad it did." Brax said as he wrapped his arm around his baby brother and smiled.

"It's good to have the real Casey back." Kyle said with a smile.

"Yeah, although it took ya long enough squirt." Heath added, resting his arm around Casey's other shoulder.

"You wanna go for a surf for old time sake, the four of us?" Brax asked.

Casey smiled. "Sure, but I'm still wearing a full wet suit. I don't think I'm ready for everyone to see my you know what." Casey replied.

"Hey Case, if anyone says anything, ya got three brothers who would smash their face in." Heath defended.

"Heath's right. You have nothing to be ashamed of, that was just a way you use to cope and anyone who judges you, they're the superficial ones." Kyle added.

"I know but still..." Casey started.

"It's up to you." Kyle continued.

Casey nodded and got dressed in his wet suit while the other boys grabbed their shorts and boards and the four headed to the beach for a surf.

The surf session with his brothers made Casey feel alive again, like he could get through this, because he had three very strong people behind him to help him every step of the way.

Brax and Casey were sitting on the sand watching Heath and Kyle mucking around in the water.

"Brax?"

"Yeah Case?" Brax turned to look at Casey beside him.

"I've realised something...you're not really my brother..."

Brax sighed. "Case we've been through this."

"No. I mean I know you are, but you're more than that...Danny wasn't part of me and my real father I never knew, but none of that matters because you've always been like my Dad my whole life. I never needed a real father because I had you and I would never want to change that. If I had to base my influences on someone it would be you." Casey smiled at his oldest brother.

Brax gave a nod, feeling touched. "I'm glad Case, but don't you go going around making Dad jokes now." Brax smiled.

"I promise. Thanks Brax."

Brax grabbed Casey around the shoulder. "Let's get back out there and enjoy those good waves."

Brax smiled and gave his brother a rough, playful shove and the first time in ages Casey actually laughed, bringing back his happy go lucky attitude that made him who he was.

Brax stood up and ran down to the water shortly followed by Casey, the two joining Heath, and Kyle at the water's edge.

"What are you two knuckleheads up to?" Brax asked.

"Kyle's just being a girl and won't take the big waves." Heath explained.

"No I'm not. I'm just saying I'm not as good as you guys and I'll wipe out." Kyle argued, causing Heath to laugh.

Brax shook his head and walked into the water.

"Hey it's the truth!" Kyle protested.

"I've learned I have to stay strong and push through hard stuff, so you can too. That's what our family is about." Casey said to Kyle who gave a smile in return.

"Maybe I will try it after all." Kyle replied, if Casey could manage through what he had to deal with, Kyle surely could face some harsh waves.

Heath, Casey, and Kyle then joined Brax in the water, just like old times.