The Boys

Moving through the almost empty public rooms of the hotel toward the stairs, Caroline and Kate's eyes fell on the sitting area where they had argued the last time they were here together. Walking hand in hand the two women paused then, reading the pain in the other's eyes, by common consent continued toward the stairs.

Approaching her room, Caroline pulled the key from a pocket of her full skirt and tried to insert it into the lock. Her hand was shaking so much that Kate gently took the key from her and opened the door, handing the key back to Caroline. Looking up at Kate, tugging her shoulders down and letting out a deep sigh, Caroline asked, "Why am I such a mess and you are so calm?"

Shrugging, "Inside I'm not," replied Kate smiling wanly. I think I've just had more time to get used to the idea of possibly getting back together. I had the drive all the way to Harrogate and back thinking about it."

Caroline nodded, feeling a little less of a mess. "I have to say good night to the boys, make sure they are OK," Caroline apologized. "Especially Laurence. If this is disconcerting for me, I don't know how he is feeling. I have to talk to them before we all go down to breakfast in the morning. Auntie Muriel is likely to be a loose cannon, not to mention my mother. I am sorry, I just-

"Don't be sorry," interrupted Kate. "This is all very sudden. I understand." Seeing Caroline's doubt, put there by her own coldness, Kate squeezed her hand and said softly, "Really, Caroline. Go. Take care of the boys. I'll be here waiting." Kate smiled reassuringly over her shoulder as she passed into the room and closed the door, the smile still on her face.

Alone in the corridor, Caroline closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Maybe it really was going to be OK. Kate's manner did seem to be telling her so. Now, what was she going to say to the boys? William had made his feelings clear, but what was going on in Laurence's mind?

Crossing down the hall to the door of the boys' room, Caroline tapped twice and tried the handle, which turned at her touch. Both boys were in their pajamas. She saw William already in bed with his book and Laurence rooting through his suitcase. "Hiya," she said. Moving into the room and sitting on the bed which was waiting for Laurence, facing William she got right to the point, "I suppose you know what happened tonight was not planned. It just happened and …" uncertain how to finish this sentence she stopped.

Looking at Laurence, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. It wasn't intentional." Laurence had straightened from his suitcase and turned toward her, his face unreadable. "Laurence?" she questioned, not wishing to ramble on and dig herself into an even deeper hole with her youngest son.

Laurence shrugged, looked down at his feet, then finally after a long pause. "I know you haven't been very happy since you and Kate weren't together any more." Another pause. Slowly Laurence continued with pauses between sentences, thinking out his response as he went along. "I don't like seeing you unhappy. I know now what a shit Dad can be. I know he hasn't treated you well. You deserve better. You're a good Mum," then mischievously "even if you are a bit boring," he said looking her in the eye for the first time since she had entered the room.

Caroline started breathing naturally again. If Laurence was making jokes there was hope.

Serious again, "The thing is, I'm not sure that Kate has treated you much better. I've seen how unhappy you have been." Laurence looked at her steadily.

Caroline, her face full of love for her son, saw his genuine concern for her. She realized for the first time just how much Laurence had been taking in during all of these difficult months.

"Laurence, I think I have just realized how much all of this has hurt you. I'm sorry." Holding her arms out to him, Caroline continued, "I am sorry." Laurence, suddenly emotional, quickly seated himself beside his mother on the bed and went into her arms. Finding that he was now too tall to fit his face into her neck as he used to do, contented himself with pressing his cheek into hers, kissing it as they finally pulled out of their embrace.

Caroline, with her fingers wiped away the tears that had escaped Laurence's eyes. Smoothing back his tousled hair, Caroline whispered, "I don't think I have been a very good mother to you recently, Laurence. I promise to do better."

Moving his hand from the bed where he had been bracing himself, Laurence gave her another squeeze before settling himself a little further away so he could see her face.

"Kate is staying the night with me. We have a lot to talk through. Caroline went on, "With tomorrow being Christmas, and a house full of guests, I can't tell you now how everything is going to play out. I can only ask for your patience as Kate and I try to find a way forward. How would you feel if I asked Kate to join us tomorrow? At the house. For Christmas. And to spend the night if she can?" Looking at each in turn, she saw William's smile of reassurance and received a nod from Laurence as she caught his eye.

Briskly, as she stood up "By the way, Gillian, Raff, Ellie and the baby are coming over to join us for dinner tomorrow and to spend the night. With Granny, Alan, Ted and now Kate, we'll have a house full tomorrow. I hope I can count on both of you to help me with the entertaining? Receiving more nods from both boys, Caroline moved to William's bed, bending, she placed a good night kiss on top of his head. "Breakfast at 9:00 in the dining room downstairs" leaning in to kiss Laurence's head too, Caroline continued in her mother voice " have your bags packed before you come down. You can come back after breakfast to bring all of our luggage down and pack it into the car."

Pausing by the door, Caroline's tone returned to the more intimate one she had used when discussing what was happening in all of their lives as a result of the change in her relationship with Kate. "In the morning we'll all be in the dining room together, the wedding party I mean. You know what Granny can be like and Auntie Muriel is much the same. I don't know what their attitudes will be or what they might say. I know you may be tempted to defend me," Caroline paused, "if things are said. Please don't. You have to remember that they are of a different generation and we need to respect them. I..." another pause, "Kate and I can deal with whatever happens." Looking at them each in turn, her love shining from her face, she said, "I don't want you to be hurt any more than you already have been by my life choices. I do love you, you know."

"We know Mum," William smiled. "We love you too." Laurence said nothing but she could see by the look he gave her that he was agreeing with William who, as so often happened, spoke for both of them.

Beaming her love at each of them again, Caroline said briskly, "Right then, see you in the morning. Good night. Put the night latch on after I close the door."