Chapter 2
Brian wakes up to the soothing tone of a woodwind instrument. He places his contacts on his eyes and watches Gardevoir sitting on his computer chair. "Hey baby, what are you doing?" Brian asks without noticing what's going on. Gardevoir swivels around with Brian's flute, except that it's all greased up and dirty. "Yo yo yo yo what the fuck?!" Brian yells. Gardevoir drops the flute, damaging the silver keys. "Don't fucking touch my instrument, my parents paid over $1000 for that flute, and you just trashed it you skank." Brian harshly insults. "B-but Brian Senpai~! It was only an accident!" Gardevoir pleads for mercy. Brian cracks out his Indiana Jones whip that he got from Disney World. Gardevoir backs towards the wall in fear. "You gonna touch my shit ever again bitch?" Brian threatens. He cracks his whip once more as Gardevoir scrunches in between the corners of the wall. Brian suddenly hears the clinks of fallen coins directly outside of his room. He drops his whip and runs out of the room. Gardevoir, still hunched towards the wall, gets up and finds Brian out in the living room picking up quarters that fell from a cracked coin jar. "Oh yeah! I'm rich baby!" he announces triumphantly. Gardevoir picks up his whip. She is clueless of what to do with it. She stashes his whip in a cramped area in his closet, then proceeds downstairs. Brian puts his mound of quarters into his knapsack, then takes a seat on the dining table to eat his breakfast. Gardevoir takes a seat across from him. She tries hard not to mention the whipping incident to him since it seems like he completely forgot. Gardevoir stares at her food, not knowing how to comprehend how to eat human food. Brian digs into his Chinese food like a pig. "Di ha lomai! Sum lei dum duom!" Brian's mom calls. "Coming eomma (Mom)!" Brian answers. Brian leaves the dining table, leaving Gardevoir to think about life. "The fuck is wrong with this kid?" Gardevoir thinks. "I mean, he's still my best friend, but he's got some major issues. For Christ sake, he has a wall of naked pictures of me." she thinks again. Brian rushes downstairs with a worried look on his face. "Eomma, it wasn't me! Si lao deduom ching chao!" Brian pleads. "Suom de hao lu wong de pei!" Brian's mom screams. Brian's mom suddenly has possession of Brian's whip as she runs towards Brian threatening him with it. Gardevoir glares slightly at the scene, acting like she's not paying attention. Gardevoir walks outside, waiting for the commotion to end. Brian opens up and slams the front door. "God dammit…" Brian sighs. "What happened in there?" Gardevoir asks.
"My mom just fucking kicked me out for a few hours."
"I wonder why…"
"Because she just entered my room for the first time, and then she saw all of my empty lotion bottles and my wall of nude Gardevoir pictures."
"Wait. She's never been in your room before?"
"Nah… I would never let her in my room, but it just seems like she snuck in there. Apparently, she found the door open."
Gardevoir cringes for a moment.
"What's wrong Gardevoir?" Brian caringly asks.
"Oh, nothing, I'm just a bit cold this morning."
"That's alright, mornings are usually cold here, around 55 degrees fahrenheit on average."
"What is fahrenheit?"
"I'll explain later." They end their conversation. "So, you wanna go to the park?" Brian invites Gardevoir. "Yeah, sure." She accepts. "Alright, let me just go get my cousin first, he lives just right down the corner." Brian remarks. They walk down the street quietly. Gardevoir cringes again, thinking about the whipping incident. "Are you that cold?" Brian asks again. He hands her his middle school athletics hoodie. Gardevoir slips it on, blushing. "T-thanks Brian." she says. "No problem, if there's anything else that you need, anything at all, just come to me." Brian assures. They reach Brian's cousin's house. "This is my cousin William's house, he's pretty chill and cool." Brian states, making William sound like a good guy. Brian rings on William's doorbell. "Ay, whassup my nigga?" William greets. "Ay mate, you wanna go to the park?" Brian asks. "Fo sho Brian, let me get my tennis gear and we can go jam on the courts."
William leaves the front door and gets his tennis gear in his room. Brian and Gardevoir patiently wait. William finally shows up. "Aight, let's go." William signals. William leads the way to Pantitties Park. They pass by Daniel's house. Brian greets Daniel through the window, then proceed to the park. Brian grips Gardevoir's hand gently. "Wow, what a gentleman you are." She compliments. Brian bows thankfully. Gardevoir kisses Brian on the cheek, then blushes. Brian pops a donger and turns red. He hides it as quickly as he can. Gardevoir notices. She clutches Brian's expand dong. "Brian, can't you at least wait till later?" she says, looking at him suggestively. Brian ignores what she says. He is still red. He wraps his arm around Gardevoir as a backup plan. Gardevoir rests her head on Brian's shoulder. The two meet up with William at the tennis court. "Alright bitches, ready to get rekt?" William shows off his tennis skills. "The fuck did you just call me?" Gardevoir retaliates. "I called you a bitch you fucking skank." William makes a comeback. Gardevoir uses Psychic on William Wong. It's super effective! Gardevoir grabs Brian's arm and runs away from the scene of the crime. "Damn Gardevoir." Brian says. "Yeah, I know, I get a little ill tempered sometimes." She informs. They make it to a safe area behind a bush on top of a hill. Brian and Gardevoir sit down, panting from exhaustion. Brian keeps his hand in his pocket, hesitating to take something out of his pocket. Gardevoir looks at him. "G-gardevoir~, I wanted to give you something. It's a little gift s-sorta…" Brian pulls out a heart shaped locket made out of deposits of obsidian that he found in the ground. Gardevoir blushes, and covers her mouth with both hands. She hugs Brian, and willingly accepts the gift. "This is so romantic, how did you make this?" Gardevoir asks. "Well… I crafted it while you were fighting with William. I just thought it would make a nice gift after you got so angry with him." He replies. She turns red and holds the locket to her heart. They lay down and watch the morning clouds roll by. In the distance, the two hear a familiar song playing. It gets louder with each second. William suddenly appears, blasting "All Eyez On Me" by Tupac on his boombox. "I bet you got it twisted you don't know who to trust. So many playa hatin' niggaz tryin to sound like us. Say they ready for the funk, but I don't think they knowin. Straight to the depths of hell is where those cowards goin!" William raps. Brian gets up with a microphone in his hand. "Well are you still down nigga? Holla when you see me, and let these devils be sorry for the day they finally freed me. I got a caravan of niggaz every time we ride. Hittin motherfuckers up when we pass by, until I die." Brian continues the rap. Gardevoir sits up, confused. "The hell is this crappy wordplay?" she thinks to herself. "Now go away William. Piss off. Leave." Brian shoos William away. William trails down the steep hill.
"Alright, now where were we… Oh yeah!" Brian realizes. They go back to laying down, staring at the clouds. "Soo…. What do you wanna do?" Gardevoir asks subtly. "I dunno…" Brian answers cluelessly. Gardevoir places her head on Brian's shoulder and initiates cuddle position. Brian turns red again. "W-what?" Brian asks, confused. "Jesus fucking Christ dude…" she says, unamusingley. She goes full force cuddle with Brian. He feels comfortable, and slowly falls asleep.
Brian wakes up a few hours later. He looks to the left of his shoulder and spots a shriveled white and green raisin. Wait, it's Gardevoir! "Holy shit, it's a fucking raisin!" Brian yells. He picks up Gardevoir and sprints down the hill. He throws Gardevoir in the pond as the Koi fish start to nibble at her tits. She gets up and rushes out of the water. "What the fuck Brian?! I was sunbathing!" Gardevoir screams in anger. She walks away, frustrated. "I thought you were dying! I'm so sorry!" he apologizes and corrects her. "God dammit…" Brian sighs. "I could've gotten some pussy, but I guess I fucked it up." he says to himself. Brian falls on the grass, angry at himself. He pulls out his iPod touch and plays Clash of Cocks for the remainder of his time as he watches Gardevoir walking out in the distance.