Driving to Harrogate
In time, everyone's luggage was sorted, cars were packed with suitcases and wedding gifts were tucked into odd spaces as they would fit. Surprisingly quickly, it was organized who would be riding in which vehicles. Gillian, Raff and Ellie had already started for the farm, chores to perform in advance of being away again overnight. Alan and Celia set off alone in the Lexis. Ted had elected to ride in Caroline's Jeep, he'd had quite enough of bending and twisting himself into and out of his brother's low slung car if another option presented itself. With William at the wheel, Roxy beside him and Laurence joining Ted behind they headed for Conway Drive.
Waving them all off, Caroline got into the passenger seat of Kate's car with a deep sigh. She rested her head on the back of the seat for a moment before turning to look at Kate. There was much less space between the seats of this small car than in her Jeep and Caroline found to her surprise and delight that Kate's face was only inches away. Two sets of sparkling eyes feasted on the features of the other. Without conscious thought the two heads moved together, lips barely grazing at first, meeting again caressingly and once again with growing fervor. Feeling urgency rise, they remembered their setting and allowed lips to lose contact slowly, faces retreating only far enough for the moment to allow eyes to meet. Then smiles lighting mouths and crinkling eyes, they began fastening seat belts. Kate started the car and pulled out of the car park to follow the other vehicles in the caravan heading for Harrogate.
"So, you know your way here daylight and dark now" observed Caroline with a wry smile. "Sorry yet that you came back?"
Kate only gave her a reproachful smile.
"Not after hearing what my mother said? Not after the onslaught of the curious and prurient as soon as the music ended?"
"Caroline!" Then, reasonably, "They're your family, friends of your family, the wedding was ending, and they were only taking their leave. Surely."
"Maybe." With a shrug, "Probably. Most of them." Considering for a moment, "thing is, even in the ones who seemed to be nonchalant about meeting you, I detected a smirk lurking just beneath the surface. Do you think I imagined that? Just because… I'm me?" Concerned, "Am I reading more into it than is there?"
Ruefully, Kate responded, "In view of the fact that we may have gotten a little carried away on the dance floor, in our enthusiasm over being together again, I suspect we may have deserved a smirk here or there. Even if we had been a straight couple… Do you…? Am I…?"
Turning her face to look into Kate's, Caroline stated emphatically "'Oh sod 'em, let 'em get on w' it,' to quote Gillian," laughing at herself for worrying. Then more quietly, looking into her lap, afraid to learn the answer, "Did I let you down last night? Were you disappointed in me? When everyone came trooping through at once?
"Oh, Caroline, no. You didn't let me down. You were wonderful. I was very proud of you. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you so then." It occurred to Kate, "Is that why you were trembling so last night?"
"I suppose in part, really it was everything, all together at once." Caroline looked through the windshield at the passing scenery embarrassed that she hadn't been able to handle herself with the aplomb that Kate apparently had. After a pause she asked, "Out of curiosity, what did you envision would happen when you came back?
"I don't think I really thought beyond you and I. Your reaction to my coming back."
"Yes. That is where you have the advantage of me" said Caroline softly, looking out the window on her side of the car.
"Sorry?" asked Kate, not taking her meaning.
Shrugging and looking over at Kate, "You get to think about you and me while I have as many people as the cast of an American mini series to consider every step I take." This was stated softly, without heat, it was a fact.
Humbly Kate said, "I know, it is one of the things I realized while we were apart. I was just thinking about it this morning as a matter of fact. Sometimes you must feel like a tightrope walker who has to juggle an assortment of crockery as well. I mean between your boys, your Mum, John, the school and then me inserting myself, upsetting the delicate balance." Stopping Caroline with a raised hand as she was about to interrupt, "I didn't always give you credit for the amazing job you did – do, managing all of the roles you are responsible for, all of the people you are responsible for. It really is one of the things I admire in you. I think I took that for granted without realizing the skill and grace it required."
The wind fully taken out of her sails and abashed by this admiration, Caroline said tenderly, "You never inserted yourself, I invited you." Her voice softening. "Now you're indispensible you know. I hope you never have reason to feel otherwise." Concern making her voice stern, "You will tell me, won't you? You must tell me before it is too late if I'm getting it wrong again."
Kate, raising the back of her fingers to Caroline's cheek to take any possible sting from the words said meekly, "Yes, Dr. Elliot" with a cheeky smile. Glad that they had reached a straight portion of road Kate went on quietly, glancing at Caroline often. "As I told you last night, I never could put you out of my mind. One day as I was going over it all, yet again, all that had happened between us in the short time we were together, it occurred to me that you were like the sun, your own solar system."
Taking her eyes from the road long enough to steal a glance at Caroline, Kate saw a look that said this was the last thing that Caroline had expected to hear. Chuckling at this bewildered expression, then sobering quickly at the consternation her laugh had brought to the beloved face, "No really Caroline, without you everything goes to chaos, just like the planets need the magnetism of the sun to continue on their course."
Seeing Caroline shake her head refuting the truth of this Kate continued. "First there are the boys each on their own orbit around you just as they should be. Then your mother, for so long you are all that she has had." Seeing Caroline's surprise, Kate said as an aside, "she told me about it that night she came and asked me to come back to you." Going on, "Of course, now she has Alan but that only brings another planet into the solar system, with his poor health and the fact that they live in your house. Another person to care for."
"And Alan brings Gillian, Raff, then Ellie, now a baby." Seeing Caroline about to protest again, Kate stopped her once more. "You know that if any one of them needed you, you'd be there in a flash. Never once stopping to think what impact this would have on the whole solar system, you'd just find some way, sheer willpower if necessary to rebalance it all." Looking at Caroline Kate saw her chagrin, admitting the truth of the statement.
We haven't even begun on the school, where you deal with the personalities, opinions and demands of the board of governors, schools inspectors, deputy heads, teachers, staff and students. Even when you are not dealing with them directly they are a responsibility that you carry 24/7, thinking, planning, dreaming for everyone's welfare." Kate said softly, apologetically, "It dawned on me then, everything that you already managed on a daily basis, manage so well that even those of us closest to you take the smooth flow of it all so for granted that we don't realize what it costs you."
Now Caroline was totally embarrassed at having been so thoroughly described to herself. Opening her mouth to speak, found that she couldn't think of a thing to say.
Kate went on sadly, with remorse, "Then you have John and I tag teaming you with deceit and betrayal alternating with claims of love and devotion which do nothing but drain and deplete you into depression." Too upset to continue driving, Kate pulled off into a convenient lay by. Putting the car into park, she turned to face Caroline. Overcome by guilt and sorrow at the contributions she had made to Caroline's burdens, tears coursed down her cheeks and onto her coat.
Caroline stunned to know how clearly Kate now realized the position that she had been in still couldn't find any words to say, so she put her arms around Kate as best she could with them both cramped into their seats and kissed away the tears. "Its over now," she said briefly, hoping against hope that this were true. Finally, finding a packet of tissues in the console compartment, Caroline blotted the last traces of dampness carefully from cheeks so beautiful in the morning sun.
Looking levelly into liquid brown eyes she said firmly, "We've promised to do better and we will." With a quick kiss on the still downturned lips, Caroline briskly returned the packet to its home and reached back to reattach her seat belt, saying with a teasing grin, "good thing we are at the back of the caravan or we'd have Ted pulling up behind us to see if you are OK." This at last brought a smile to Kate's face. Knowing only how true it was, she made no comment but put the car into gear and watching for traffic took them once more on their way.
The remainder of the drive was spent reviewing plans for Christmas. After a stop at Kate's so that she could dress for the day they would move on to Kate's mother's house. Kate and her Mum would drop Caroline at home then visit Kate's Dad and go on to a family dinner. Kate thought that she could be back to Caroline's by 6:30 or so. If her mother were not yet ready to leave the family gathering, one of the cousins would gladly take her home when they left.
Caroline shared her revised schedule for serving Christmas dinner and the program for the day on Conway Drive. Dessert would likely not be called for before Kate's planned arrival time, so she could join them for this. Caroline was pleased when Kate confirmed that she would bring an overnight bag to spend Christmas night with her.
On Boxing Day, Caroline briefed, she was providing brunch for the house party before the Greenwoods had to return to the farm. She had no idea what the elders were doing with themselves beyond brunch but had heard remarks which lead her to believe that Celia and Alan were planning a series of day trips around the area in the next week to show Ted the changes since his immigration and what still remained of the places he knew as a boy.
William and Roxy were catching the noon train tomorrow for Liverpool to spend the weekend with her family since she had been with the Elliot's over Christmas. Laurence, of course, was off to Manchester on the team bus at 1:30pm for the rugby tournament and would not return until Sunday at about the same time.
This left Thursday evening through Sunday noon free for Caroline to do as she pleased. This she offered to Kate freely, unless she had plans already laid. Kate looked at her with awe. There had never before been such a wealth of time for them to spend together. Kate admitted that outside of some marking she had left for the break, she had no specific plans. The two women gazed in wonder at one another, delighted at the prospect of so much uninterrupted time.
Caroline, ever practical knowing her mother as she did, asked Kate if they could spend this time at her house. Kate only too well aware of the bus terminal status of arrivals and departures by all and sundry at Caroline's house, was happy to agree. Well pleased with these plans, the two found that they could not stop turning to look at one another to smile as the car moved through the streets of Harrogate.