Ava and Michael were both acting strange. She tried talking to Ava about what she was feeling and instead of getting worried like she was convinced Ava would be, Ava had told her it was probably nothing. That in itself made Liz think there was absolutely something wrong. But when the week passed and nothing happened, she tried to place that uneasy feeling to the back of her mind.
She was now hours away from seeing Kyle and Isabel and she was freaking out. She was having a panic attack. She still hadn't talked to Michael about what they were going to say about Parker. Parker who was at the moment in her new car with Ava. She was standing by the chip isle in a gas station, with Michael grabbing soda's for them.
"Liz." It was Michael's voice that cut through her thoughts.
"Are you ok?" Michael set the two soda bottles on the shelfs and approached her.
It took her seconds to realize that she was shaking from head to toe. Her hands were gripping a bag of chips that were now probably crushed. Goose bumps covered her arms and her breath was shallow.
"Liz?" Michael's confusion and worry showed.
"What are we going to tell them Michael?" She finally met his eyes. "How are we going to explain Parker?"
Michael's eyes were blocked from emotion. "I don't know Liz," he finally answered.
"We need to figure it out, Michael. We're meeting them in less than 3 hours." Her panic was at it's peak.
"I want answers too, Liz. I don't know how to explain Parker to myself much less anyone else." Michael scratched his eyebrow. He hadn't done that in years. Years before Parker was born even.
For some reason his words hurt. Although she couldn't explain why. He was being honest. She of course had trouble explaining to it him. He didn't know about the love she'd had for him. He didn't know about the school girl hope she'd had for years of having him all to herself. Of the young, innocent, immature fantasy of having a family, a future with him. Parker was here because of that symbol of love she'd had for Michael. Although he'd never know that.
She cleared her throat. "He looks exactly like you." So hiding he was Michael's was out of the question. "Acts just like you too."
"I think he's equally part...us." Michael who had been watching Parker, now turned to look her in the eye.
She could feel emotion overwhelm her. She shook her head, mentally shaking it off. She wasn't going back down that road. She couldn't let herself get like that again. She was stronger now. She had to get back to being cold and hard with her emotions. Damn Michael for making her feel weak once more.
She forced a half smile on her face, "Well I do hope he gets my level head and smarts." She was trying to lighten things up and she saw him trying to search her eyes. She knew he'd find nothing behind them. She didn't breake eye contact. She just kept her eyes blank until Michael was able to move on.
But she caught something in his eyes. She couldn't tell what it was. A long time ago she had been able to know what he was thinking, what he was feeling. Now, she couldn't get a read on him. But again, it took her a second to realize that she had no right to think that way. No business even thinking like that. Her cold heart tightened and she finally moved from her frozen state.
"I guess we can just say pretty much what happened. But just say I left because I found out I was pregnant. We'll say we slept together once. We had a lapse of judgment and decided not to mention it. I found out I was pregnant and ran for it. I was a total wuss back then. They'll buy it. Even know my first response is to run from it rather than to explain what happened." Yup, she'd been one hell of a wuss.
"You've always been strong, Liz." Michael's voice had power. It pulled for her to look at him but she fought against it.
She was able to continue to look through the shelf, pretending to look for the right chips. She moved along the isle, Michael close behind her.
"What makes you think you weren't strong, Liz?" He was daring her to answer the question. Again she fought to ignore him.
She decided instead to walk to the counter to pay. She knew Michael would follow. He set his items on the counter and they were quiet as the teller rung them up.
"We should keep Parker in the car with Ava. I don't want him to bombard them like he did you. I don't think that'd be the best way to find out about him." She finally spoke to him as they walked out of the gas station.
"That's fine. But no matter how you finally introduce them, it won't help. Believe me." Michael's voice was back to hard and cold. She wasn't an idiot. She knew he was still mad at her from keeping Parker from him. She understood and was actually relieved to see that coldness. It made it easier for what she had to do. She had to stay hard. Cold. She was cold now dammit. And Michael wasn't going to ruin that.
"Will they-"
"Love him. They're love him, Liz." Michael's face changed to a wide smile as he spotted Parker, who was now standing by the back of the car and making his way to them. "What's not to love." Parker had now reached Michael and hugged is leg. Michael ruffled Parker's hair before bending over and kissing the top of his head.
Liz's cold heart melted a little and her insides turned.
Damn Michael.
"You ready to meet Uncle Kyle and Auntie Isabel?" Michael asked laughing.
Parker nodded. "Ready."
"Ok, hope in. Lets get going." It was hard to not see just how happy this was making Michael. He looked almost giddy to see his family and that there was enough for Liz to smile.
The next 2 and a half hours went by quietly. Liz figured each of them were all thinking about their encounter with the Valenti's. Although they were all excited and happy to see Kyle and Isabel they all had a reason to be nervous.
Michael had one day just taken off and not told Kyle or Isabel where he was headed. He hadn't talked to them in the months prior to him finding Liz. So he was in for it with Isabel. She would make him pay for making her worry and being irresponsible. Then there was Michael's worry about how they'd take the news about Parker.
Her stomach lurched. Parker. Poor sweet Parker was probably nervous about meeting his Aunt and Uncle for the first time. They'd all assured him he'd have nothing to worry about. Ava, Michael and her had told him that his aunt and uncle would love him. But she knew Parker. He was a chip off the old block. He'd worry till the end. There was nothing she could say to take that worry from him.
And poor Ava who had covered for Liz for years. Had lied to Kyle and Isabel about Liz's whereabouts and had kept Parker a secret. She'd get an earful not just from Isabel but from Kyle as well. She winced for the trouble she'd put her friend, her sister in. Poor Ava. Liz knew she could only do so much to help Ava.
She herself was going to...she honestly didn't know what would happen to her. Would Isabel be so mad to shun Liz. She slept with her brother, after breaking the others heart. She'd left without a word. She'd abandoned them for years. She'd lied. She'd kept Parker. She'd KEPT Parker. Nothing would hurt Isabel more than that last fact.
Oh God she was going to throw up.
And then there was the little part about Future Max, about how they called him Zan. How they'd now have to deal with him because of her.
And no matter how pissed Isabel might be, Liz knew she'd still have to tell her about Alex. About how Zan had destroyed their lives. How he'd used Liz to change their future. How'd she stupidly trusted him twice. How Alex died for nothing. He'd simply been in Zan's way. If Isabel was going to be mad at her or even hate her then she at least needed all the information. Liz was done lying. At least to everyone but herself. She sneaked a glance at Michael. She hated herself for her weakness. Hated him for being himself. Hated him from being so perfect and making her feel just as stupid as she'd once been. Hated him for ever coming back into her life.
But mostly she hated herself. Hated herself for hurting him when he was the last person who deserved any more pain.
"OK. We'll be there in about 5 minutes. Kyle should be calling soon. Ava, I want you to take Parker and check in. Get us a room and go straight to it. Liz and I will meet Kyle and Isabel in their room. We'll give you a heads up before we come up. Don't open the door for anyone else." Michael had pulled himself together.
And just like he said it would happen, Michael's phone rang.
"Hello? Hey Kyle. Yeah, we should be there in 30 minutes. You're there. Yeah. Juniper Tree off of the 139. Ok, see you there. Wait, what room? 5? Ok stay in your room. We'll call when we're there." He hung up and looked at Liz, "You ready?"
"As I'll ever be."
"Do you want me to empty the car?" Ava asked as she grabbed for her and Parker's bags.
"No. Just grab those. I'll be back for the rest later. Just check in and go into the room. We'll be as quick as we can." And because he knew how everyone felt he tried to lighten it up, jokingly saying, "You get ready for Isabel."
Ava swallowed. "I know you meant to be funny. But it only scares me more." Ava's eyes were wide.
Liz didn't know what to say.
Michael pulled the car in a parking spot. Four doors opened and closed at the same time.
Ava got the bags she needed as Michael and Liz both gave Parker a hug and kiss before turning into the building toward room 5.
Outside of the door, they turned to each other before looking behind their shoulders to make sure Ava was out of site. They knocked on the door and waited silently.
Both inhaled sharply as the door handle moved and the door began to open.
The panic that set in instantly disappeared just as quickly when she felt arms embrace her with such love that tears stormed down her face.
She cried for the years they'd missed out on. Kyle's hold on her was strong and so safe. She clung to him like her life depended on it.
"Liz. Thank God. We thought we'd never-"
"Me too Kyle. Me too." She half cried half laughed onto his shoulder. "I've missed you so much."
"I've missed you too, Liz."
He pulled back only because they both hears loud tears coming from behind them. Liz saw through blurry tears Isabel looking just as happy as she.
They met in seconds. Oh how she'd missed her. How she'd missed Isabel and that smile. Her laughter, her voice, her friendship.
"Liz." Isabel cried.
They hugged for what seemed like forever. Liz kept repeating how sorry she was and Isabel kept saying it was ok. It took them a while to cry themselves out.
When they finally released each other, Kyle and Michel were sitting in chairs by a small table at the end of the room. The girls sat on the bed next to each other facing the guys and the next couple of minutes were passed with "how are yous" and "it's been a while".
"I hate to be a buzz kill. I'm happy the gangs back together. But I have to know what's going on? Who are we running from now? Kyle looked so serious. She remembered how mad he could get when he was kept in the dark.
As if on cue, her and Michael's eyes met. That look, she knew too well. She nodded. Apparently, she was starting this not him.
So she began, not with her leaving them but with Zan coming into her life. She told them everything. She watched Isabel as she told them about why Alex died. About how Zan knew he would die but it was something he was living to live with if it got him what he wanted. How he tried to kill her and how she almost killed him. How very sorry she was for not doing it and how he would do anything to get to her.
She tried to avoid Kyle's eyes as she could see that he was shaking with anger. She didn't know if it was directed at her or Zan or maybe both.
"He's quicker than I thought." Michael apologized when Liz was finally done. "I'm sorry Kyle. I should have called and warned you sooner but I was worried about Liz and P-" he cut himself off, "Everything was going on too quickly. I should have reacted better and I'm sorry if that put you or Isabel in any kind of danger."
"It's ok, Michael. You didn't know. We're ok. Nothing happened." Isabel was quick to forgive, her arms crossed across her stomach.
"It's not ok, Isabel." Kyle looked like he was fighting with himself. "Look, Michael. I get it ok. You were in the moment. You were stressed over Liz. And you didn't-you still don't understand why it's not ok. Isabel." Kyle finally turned to his wife.
Michael and Liz turned her watch her nod and slowly get up.
And that's when Liz noticed. How they hadn't seen it before. They'd been crying and hugging. Not paying attention. Isabel had been sitting but still that wasn't enough for them not to have noticed. For it was very noticeable. Isabel who had always been slender and had a flat stomach was now sporting a large definite bump.
"Oh my god." Michael broke the silence.
And now they understood. Now they understood why Kyle was so angry. So unforgiving. They'd not only put his wife in danger but their unborn child.
A cold chill passed through Liz. He would not fault them for their anger. For their hatred even. She had very stupidly put them all in danger. Again.
Tears filled her eyes.
Michael had his face in his hands and was shaking his head. She guessed he was kicking himself and blaming himself for anything that could have happened to Isabel.
Liz stood. "Congratulations, Isabel."
Isabel's face had never looked more beautiful. She smiled and both women embraced once more.
"You've both missed so much. But I'm happy we're all together again." Isabel pulled away from Liz as Michael came to hug her.
She turned to Kyle and hugged him too. They deserved this. They deserved to be happy. To have something come out of their love.
"Hey, where's Ava?" Isabel had just noticed her absence.
Again, Liz and Michael's eyes met.
"We have more to tell you." Liz's panic was back.
"You should both sit down." Michael suggested.
Kyle took Isabel's hands and they sat side by side on the bed. Liz and Michael took the chairs across from them now.
"There's something you still don't know that might change everything." Michael warned.
Oh god. Liz shook with horror but she had to do this. And she knew she had to do it honestly. She put her hand on Michael's shoulder.
"It's ok, Michael. I'll tell it. It's my trouble. My mess."
"Ours, Liz." And the look he gave her was so intimate that she had to look away.
"I'm sure the question still burns in your brain." She started. "About why I left, I mean. That night, after you guys left, Michael and I stayed up and talked. Something so trivial he did, changed me. I took it for something it wasn't and we got carried away. We knew it was a mistake almost immediately. He left and I panicked. I didn't know what to say, how to act. All I knew is what I had done and how that was going to change everything forever. So I called Ava and I ran. And at first, I didn't call because I was scared of Max, ashamed to face you for what we'd done, and Ava was able to help me. I-I had some problems and she helped. And then I found out-" she dared look at Kyle and Isabel. Both had wide eyes so she kept on, "I freaked out when I found out-we found out I was pregnant."
Shock on Kyle's face. A sharp inhale from Isabel as she looked at Liz's stomach almost as if looking to she if she still was pregnant or trying to see through her shirt for any sign of a past pregnancy.
"I couldn't tell you. How could I call you when I was doing better now that I'd found out-well that. Now there would be evidence of what happened that night. Max would be murderous. And you, well I didn't think you'd be happy to find out I'd slept with your brother. It was a boy. And he is so beautiful." She let the tears fall. "Parker. His name is Parker. He has powers. He's smart. And so easy to love. So, now I had this little baby boy. And the more time I let pass, the more angry you had the right to be. Worse, I'd kept the most beautiful part of me away from you. Away from his father. And I'd cry when he'd ask me about you. All of you. Ava and I were good about sharing our memories of you with him. But my heart would break when he'd get that look, that sad glint in his eyes, when he'd say something like, "Auntie Isabel like this Mommy?, or Unca Kyle laugh at this? or Dad love me Momma." And she was chocking on her tears, chocking on the sadness of it all. But most of all chocking on the realization that she was the bad guy in all of this. The pain she was feeling was all of her doing. The pain in Kyle's, Isabel's and god in Michael's face were all her doing. "He loved you without meeting you. And I took that from you. I took that from all of you." She was desperately gasping for breath now. "I'm so sorry. I was wrong. I can't take it back. I want to but I can't. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."
And she was in Isabel's arms again. Rocking back and forth with her. Pain consumed her as Isabel squeezed her. She could never have that time back.
"I'm so sorry, Isabel." She tried again but nothing further came out.
Isabel shook her head. "Can, we meet him, Liz? Can we meet Parker?" Isabel asked through tears.
Liz nodded. "Of course. Michael, call Ava."
But as she turned to Michael, she found he was already on the phone.
"Room 7." He hung up.
It was Isabel to was the first out of her room with Kyle, Liz and Michael in tow.
She pounded on rom 7. "Ava, you open this door right now." Her voice trembled.
The door room opened and Ava stood aside to let them in. Liz watched as Isabel looked around the room, searching for Parker.
"Oh my god." Her voice broke as she moved forward and Parker stepped into his Aunts arms for the first time in his life. Isabel picked him up and laughed through her tears. Kyle took them both in arms and kissed Parker on the top of the head.
Michael took Liz in his arms and she didn't resist him. She turned and cried into his chest.
She hadn't been this happy in years. And it was then that she realized just how depressed she'd been all these years. Yes, she'd loved and been happy with Parker but she'd out the rest of the world. She hadn't felt anything in years. She watched as even Ava shed a couple of tears.
This was her family. They were all together. Kyle and Isabel already loved her son.
And Parker would finally get to know his Aunt and Uncle. He would be raised with his family. With a cousin on the way. And he'd be raised by his father.
A father who could not be more happy to be that to him. A father every bit the same as his son. Every bit the man that she remembered him being. A man who now had his arms around her. And Liz took every inch of HIM in. She let herself get lost in the smell and the feel of him. Because right now might be the only time she might ever have to be in his arms.