13 Dinner with Mrs. McKenzie

Since they planned to pick up Kate's mother for dinner tonight, they had brought Caroline's Jeep. It had four doors and was easier for adults to get into and out of than Kate's car. Caroline, knowing she would be the one forming her long legs into a pretzel to get into and out of the back seat of Kate's two-door car had talked Kate into leaving hers on Conway Drive for the time being when they had set off to drop Laurence at the school.

So, Friday evening, Caroline behind the wheel, where she was most comfortable in any car, they drove to Mrs. McKenzie's and on to the restaurant. It was fortunate that Kate had made a reservation as this was a popular place tonight in the middle of the holiday season. Seeing Kate and Mrs. McKenzie standing inside the door, the owner, Mr. Balboa came forward to welcome them both like the old friends they were and to be introduced to Caroline. With an admiring glance that took in the loveliness of all three women, Mr. Balboa showed them immediately to a table in one of the quieter corners of the dining room.

During dinner, the recent events in Caroline's family were discussed, the reunion of Celia and Alan, the wedding and the houseful of newly acquired family members that Caroline had entertained on Christmas. Then on to the family gathering the McKenzies had enjoyed on Christmas Day.

Mrs. McKenzie gave Caroline a synopsis of the immigration of her parents to Britain from Nigeria following the war and their settlement in Manchester where her father had connections and found work. How she and her only sister had been born here but because they spoke their native dialect in the home during formative years, both girls had retained a trace of foreign cadence in their speech. Their father had been successful and the parents had saved to send their daughters to university. This is where she met Alistair McKenzie and the two of them had been so in love that they had braved the mores of their day to marry and raise a family. It had not been easy for them, especially in the beginning, but as the years went on and society changed, little by little they had fewer problems of that kind. It also helped that over time the families of each had grown to respect one another and extended family life on both sides became more relaxed and cordial.

Then Mrs. McKenzie asked about Caroline's boys and her mother, so she shared a little about her own background and her marriage to John which had ended and was about to be formalized by a divorce. Kate's Mum had known a little about the family tension over Caroline's relationship with Kate all those months ago and asked what the situation was like now. Caroline was candid in telling Mrs. McKenzie that her parents had not had a happy marriage and as a result, her mother had felt gossiped about for years and this sensitivity had come into play when she learned of Caroline's feelings for Kate. She also related that her mother had come a long way toward acceptance of their relationship and that she and Caroline had had two good discussions on the topic in the last few days. Caroline went on to say that William had been pleased for her and Kate from the beginning but that Laurence had displayed negative behavior. That had been when things had been the most strained between Caroline and his father. Now he was getting adjusted to those changes, she thought that it would become easier for him to accept her and Kate as a couple.

By this time they had finished their meal and the restaurant crowd was thinning. The topic now being Kate and Caroline as a couple, Mrs. McKenzie regarded the two younger women at the table. First she turned to her daughter, read the sorrow Kate felt for once again causing her mother such worry and dread of what might happen to her only daughter. She also saw the love and respect for herself that had always been there. Tonight, for the first time in a long time she recognized another light in Kate's eyes. A light that had once been put there by Richard, then, more recently, last spring it had come back and after a time, Kate had told her mother about Caroline. She hadn't been sure then just how happy she was prepared to be by this development but before there had been much chance to do more than meet Caroline, it had ended. It had not been a happy summer for her Kate and in the fall had come the news of this pregnancy and all the old apprehension and anxiety had returned for them both.

Caroline had been admiring the elegant older woman throughout their conversation. There was something quite unusual about her, a quality that was difficult to describe. It was clear where Kate had come by her composure and self-possession, the grace with which she met whatever came her way.

Then, Mrs. McKenzie turned intense dark eyes upon her. Feeling the full force of intellect brought to bear on her now by this striking woman, Caroline felt that it would not be easy to hide anything from these discerning eyes. Not wishing to hide anything from Kate's mother, Caroline still felt somewhat invaded by the perceptive penetrating gaze. More accustomed to doing the searching than being searched, she realized that she had more than met her match in Mrs. McKenzie. The dark eyes on hers read all of this and moved on to see if the commitment necessary to deal with what might be in store for them all if things went badly for Kate would be there in time of need. Caroline, knowing what she would want to find if one of her children were in a similar situation, opened herself before the maternal heart.

Mrs. McKenzie recognized this as well and seeing all that she could ask for and more in the startlingly blue eyes of this woman, who was so obviously in love with her daughter, she at last released Caroline. Satisfied that whatever came, Caroline would be there for Kate, something inside her relaxed a little. She knew that this vital, intelligent woman would be there for her too if things got rough. This weight was no longer only hers to bear but could be, would be shared with this woman who was, in her own right, a force to be reckoned with.

Kate was well aware of the perceptive powers of her mother and of the many friends of hers through the years who had failed the testing which Caroline was now undergoing. A testing that would have been much less searching than the scrutiny her mother would be putting upon Caroline tonight because of the seriousness of the current circumstances. While she harbored a small apprehension for Caroline's reaction to being the scrutinized rather than the one performing the analysis, she had every confidence that her beloved was equal to this examination.

Seeing her Mum relax as she glanced at Kate over her coffee cup, Kate could not help the broad smile that took over her face. Caroline, seeing Kate's smile as confirmation of what she already knew as she had been doing some discerning of her own during this silent exchange. The older woman observing them, patted Kate's hand.

Caroline turning back to her new ally, began, "Mrs. McKenzie," before being interrupted by the warm soft voice of Kate's mother.

"Caroline, I think you had better begin calling me Edie." Caroline, acknowledging the respect that this denoted returned it with her eyes, a nod and the simple enunciation of her name, "Edie." A token of friendship handed back to her newest family member.

Kate was beaming that things were going so well between these two that she loved so much. She knew that after the difficult conversations she and Caroline had been having regarding her condition, Caroline would welcome some time to talk to Kate's Mum without her being present. Seeing that Mr. & Mrs. Balboa had seated themselves for the first time tonight at a table near the door with cups of steaming coffee, she excused herself from the table telling them that she was going over to say hello to her friends. Before she rose, she put her hand over her mother's and told her earnestly, "I don't have any secrets from Caroline. Not anymore. Neither should you." Having granted permission for the conversation she knew these two needed to have with one another, Kate left the table with a smile for each.

Caroline and Edie watched Kate walk across the dining room then turned back to regard the other. For the first time they were alone in one another's company. Edie began with the topic still foremost on her heart. "Kate has told you then about what has happened to her in the past when she lost the babies." This was a statement, not a question because she had seen the weight on Caroline's heart, a match to her own. At Caroline's nod of assent, "And what could happen even if the baby is born safely?"

Caroline's eyes moving to Kate, seated across the room, laughing at something Mrs. Balboa had told her, turned back to Edie. "Yes, she has. She's been very forthright with me now. Since we have been talking again. I wouldn't mind hearing things from your point of view though."

"Yes," Edie replied, regarding Caroline thoughtfully, "I would like to tell you. I want to be sure you are prepared…" now allowing the anxiety to show fully on her face for the first time. "Prepared in case things go wrong." With that she told Caroline the difficult story of her daughter's hormonal battles and mild depressions and the havoc it wrought on the marriage of Kate and Richard. Essentially, the same story Kate had told with some added details that Kate might not have known due to the state she had been in at the time. It was not an easy story to tell but it was apparent that Edie was relieved to have someone with whom to share the burden of what might happen again and to know that it wasn't all up to her anymore, now that Caroline was part of Kate's life.

She finished by telling exactly this to Caroline, saying, "I'm no longer as young as I once was. Caring for Alistair takes a lot out of me these days. Even though he's in a home, it is still difficult." Caroline shared that her father had ended his days in a similar state so she had some idea of the strain that it could be on a family.

Caroline broached the other topic that concerned her, "Did Kate tell you how she got pregnant?"

"Greg." Edie spat out his name with contempt. "At first when she told me, I assumed that she had gone to a clinic, she said it was a donor. When I started asking questions she finally told me that she'd had sex with this Greg she knew in university days."

"So, you know him?" queried Caroline.

"Yes. Well, from years ago, Kate's second year at university. She brought him home for a weekend. Her father and I didn't understand what she saw in him. He was always talking, talking, talking, even when he had nothing to say. After the second visit didn't go any better than the first she never brought him home again. After a while, she told us she'd broken off with him and was seeing other people."

Watching Caroline as she spoke, Edie could see by the look of satisfaction on the younger woman's face that her evaluation of Greg had matched that of his parents. "You've met him, then Caroline?"

Caroline looked down briefly, remembering, "Yes, we met him for a drink the night before Kate's birthday. Then he invited himself to dinner."

Seeing the face on Caroline at this revelation, Edie gave a short laugh of sympathy, "Sounds just like him. I guess he hasn't changed much." She went on, "This was the weekend you and Kate went away together?"

Caroline now searched Edie's face, uncertain just how much of their story Kate had shared with her mother. Remembering the tacit permission that Kate had bestowed upon them when she left the table and reckoning that this part was as much her story as Kate's. Besides it touched on the condition both women were afraid of for Kate's sake. Caroline went on, "Yes, Kate had told me that she wanted a baby. Only that, and the fact that she had lost four babies when she was married to Richard. None of the rest, about hormone issues or depressions."

Caroline could see on Edie's face that she had wondered about this. "Kate had just told me that she wanted to have a baby. I could see how important it was to her. I sensed a certain... desperation but chalked that up to her age and the fact that time was running out for her in this department. I knew nothing of," with a turn of her hand, "all the rest."

Looking across the room, eyes drawn once again to Kate, Caroline saw her glance back at the same time. Their eyes met, Kate nodded almost imperceptibly, once again giving Caroline the permission she needed to speak freely to Kate's mother. Turning back, she saw that Edie had witnessed this exchange and waited for Caroline to go on with her story. "I did some research on the internet, so I knew that women over 40 had a more difficult time becoming pregnant and then if they were with child, faced additional risks. I tried to talk her out of it." With a softened face and tilt of the head, Caroline continued, "She so wanted to be a Mum. Of course, I understood that. My boys are so precious to me. I'd hoped that weekend we'd be able to talk it all over in a more relaxed setting. Talk about whether this really should be pursued and if so, discuss logistics…" With a shrug, Caroline stopped.

Seeing that Edie agreed that she had been on the right track with Kate, "but then, bloody Greg invited himself along. "Sorry, that just slipped out, I guess I've called him that in my mind so long that it seems to be a part of his name now."

Edie's eyes crinkled at this, unable to hold back a small smile, with a shake of her head and a wave of her hand she indicated that Caroline should continue.

"She'd already told me that she would like for him to be the donor and that…" Caroline paused and deciding that the scientific term was best, went on, "coitus was the best means of achieving conception and with the odds not being with her at this point, that was her plan."

Even the normally confident Caroline was a bit embarrassed to be telling all of this to the mother of her lover. Feeling the warmth in her face, Caroline did her best to tell the rest as quickly as possible. After he turned up, conversation between us became impossible. At breakfast the next morning I told her I didn't think Greg was the right candidate and she turned on me. Dumped me and proceeded with her plan to get pregnant by Greg." Failing to keep the raw pain from her face before Edie, she saw the sympathy in the older woman's eyes and this almost did her in.

Edie, seeing Caroline working hard to regain control of her emotions, retold what Kate had said of the matter to her. "Kate told me of how convinced she had been that this was her last chance to conceive. That she felt compelled to conceive. I wasn't sure I believed her at first. I still do not understand why a normally reasonable, clever woman would deliberately put herself through this, knowing what she did about her history." Shaking her head still trying to make sense of it all, Edie looked at Caroline who was now more herself, "And on top of all that, to do what she did, in spite of you and your opinion. Someone I know she loved then and I know she loves now." Edie raised her hands, palms up, able to make no more of these happenings than Caroline.

These two astute women sat regarding one another silently. Both perplexed at this thing that had possessed the Kate they both loved. This shared bond cemented their newfound friendship. Finding nothing left to be said tonight on this subject they looked around realizing that the restaurant was now almost deserted. Edie and Caroline both rose a little stiffly after having sat so long in one place.

Kate seeing her mother and Caroline walking toward her, each with love in her eyes for Kate, knew it was going to be alright between them.