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Chapter Eleven – Serious Conversations

When the Doctors finally joined Rose in the library, she was reading a textbook on temporal physics and chewing on the end of a pencil. They both chuckled softly and joined her on the sofa. Alex no longer had his arm in a sling, since Evander had healed the major damage and he would just need a few days of exercising for it to return to normal. She looked up from her book and smiled softly at both of her Doctors.

"What you said earlier, about the running," Alex began suddenly. "It reminded us of something that happened while we were separated. We never really talked about the more serious stuff that occurred during that time."

"We're going to share the memory with you, Rose, but you need to know that the memory will include my feelings as well. It's a painful memory and we want you to be prepared for that," Evander said as he took hold of her hands.

Rose looked back and forth between them, unsure of why they were so worried about this. But if they felt that this was the best way to share this with her, then she would gladly endure it. "It's alright, you can show me," she told them reassuringly.

Alex closed his eyes as he focused on sending Rose his memories from Messaline. It started with the unexpected take-off with Donna and Martha and them landing in the middle of a battle field. Then he showed her the creation of Jenny and she felt his anguish at having a child that reminded him so much of her. Rose knew that he was in pain while she was gone, but feeling the anguish of her loss and his dream that if he were ever to have a child again, that he would have wanted it to be theirs together. He showed her the experiences of her brief life and how she gave it up to save him.

When Alex opened his eyes again, he gazed into the tearful eyes of his wife. She pulled both of them into her arms and together they mourned their lost daughter. Rose had inadvertently quoted Jenny when she said that she loved the running. And while she was sad for making him relive this painful memory, she wasn't sorry that she now knew about Jenny. The daughter or step-daughter that she never knew. His memories of her did remind her of herself when she was younger. She was blonde, with a small, cute nose and her gymnastics could have won more than the bronze.

"I'm sure," Evander said quietly as he broke the silence, "that you have questions."

Rose thought for a moment before answering. "First, I want to say that she was brave and beautiful and I'm sorry." She squeezed their hands before continuing, "I wish I could have known her. I guess I would have been her step-mum?"

Alex nodded stiffly and rubbed his thumbs over the back of her hand. Evander was just sitting quietly as he held her other hand and stared at the coffee table.

"You can ask, Rose. I don't mind," Alex said as he braced himself for the inevitable question.

"Do you want more children?" Rose asked.

Neither Doctor could quite hide his surprise that she had chosen to ask that in particular. They of course assumed that she would want children and would wonder if they could.

"I... well, ... don't you?" Alex stuttered in response.

"We just assumed that you would..." Evander said as he looked at her questioningly.

"I don't know," Rose answered honestly. "It's not something that I've really aspired to. It would be difficult with the life we lead, really. Do you think we should though, since we're the last Time Lords? Do we have a responsibility or something?"

"You don't have to do anything that you don't want to, darling," Evander assured her.

"And there's lots of time," Alex added. "Centuries in fact. But if it's something that you decide that you want, it's possible."

"We would have to create a loom, like they used on Gallifrey. But we could do it. In fact, since it is just the mixing of genetic material, we could have all three of us as parents instead of just two," Evander explained.

"Ok," Rose said and swallowed nervously. "That's good to know, but I don't think I'm ready for that right now. Like you said, there's lots of time. Maybe my next regeneration will be more the mother type?"

"Anything you want, love," Alex replied as he put his arms around her.

"Absolutely anything," Evander added and stroked her hair with the hand that wasn't holding hers.

Rose suddenly giggled. "We probably should have had this conversation before getting married."

Alex chuckled softly, "Probably. It wouldn't have changed my mind though. You are all I've ever dreamed of."

"More than I've ever dreamed of," Evander added. "After the war, I never even thought there was a possibility. And now that we know that Gallifrey is out there somewhere, we aren't the last."

"I know a bit of the explanation that Vastra told us, but could you show me what happened? We never really did have that conversation about the war," Rose requested. "It might be a little less painful now that the ending is different?"

"Alright," Evander said. "Alex only remembers one view point. I was there three times, so it would probably be best for me to share this one."

Evander placed his hands on her temples. He didn't need to, but he wanted the physical contact as he relived not only what happened when there were three Doctors together, but also the time from the beginning of the war and what happened when he set aside the name Doctor. What he went through in that lifetime. Fighting on the front lines against the Daleks, the Nightmare Child, the Skaro Degradations and the Horde of Travesties. He knew that she didn't want a glossed over summary of events, she wanted to understand all of it, so he shared it with her. He shared it from all three perspectives.

When he had finished sharing the memories with her, the three of them sat quietly together for a long time. The Doctors rested their heads against hers and they all just enjoyed each other's presence in their minds.

When Rose finally felt able to talk about it, she asked, "Why would the Moment choose my appearance?"

"Do you really need to ask that, Rose?" Alex prompted. "Who else could ask the right questions and show me the right things to make me see what I needed to see?"

"But you didn't know me then. Wouldn't it have been better to choose Susan? Or your mother or something?" she asked.

Evander responded by saying to her the Gallifreyan words of devotion that the three of them had vowed to each other. "That goes for future, present AND past. Even if I didn't know you then, Rose. Even then, my hearts longed for yours without knowing it. It's your compassion, your ability to help me find the truth and push me in exactly the right directions to get things right. You can do that for me in a way that no one else has ever done. Whether I knew you then or not, you were the right choice."

"Will we find Gallifrey?" Rose couldn't help but ask them.

"Of course we will," Alex replied though they could all feel that none of them were as sure of that statement as it sounded. "We are the Stuff of Legend. If anyone can find where Gallifrey is hidden, it's us."

They all smiled and stood up from the sofa. "Come on," Evander said. "I think we all need some sleep."

Rose and her Doctors walked together to their room and snuggled in their large bed together. They had been through quite an ordeal that day and could all use some rest to heal and recharge before they faced their next adventure. As the TARDIS spun idly through the time vortex, the trio slept peacefully in each other's arms and dreamt of red grass and orange sunsets with silver leaves making tinkling noises in the breeze.