It had been almost one month since Quinn had left on the mission to Syria and Carrie internally scolded herself for taking so long to go after him. She had convinced Max to help her of course and even though he was apprehensive he still wanted to help. Max knew how much Quinn meant to Carrie.
The only problem Carrie had was she wasn't sure where to even start looking for Quinn. She had exhausted most of her resources and didn't have many friends left. There were barely any favors she could call in. Her and Max sat trying to come up with some sort of plan - their extensive team of two - and came up with nothing. "Do you think you'd be able to get back into Dar Adal's house?" Max finally asked, a little nervous for the response he would get from her.
"Well I know how much he loves my unannounced outbursts." She said, smiling slyly. Max let out a short laugh, probably the first time since Fara's murder.
"You know what to do." Max told Carrie, placing the small device in her hand.
That same afternoon Carrie arrived at Dar Adal's home, nicely knocking on the door and asking to talk. Since she wasn't acting out of line, he let her in and Carrie quickly escalated their conversation into a full blown screaming match. For an extra dramatic flair - and partially because she just wanted to fuck up his fancy shit - she grabbed a vase and threw it in Adal's direction.
After his expensive possession smashed into a thousand pieces, he had enough. Adal had one of his men come in to remove Carrie and she kicked and screamed until she somehow made it onto the floor and smoothly hooked the device to the back of a side table leg. After the burly man placed her outside, she shook off his grip, straightened herself and retreated down Adal's driveway. She got in her car and drove to where Max's van was parked a block away.
"Well?" Carrie asked impatiently as she climbed in the van.
"You've still got it." Max told her with a small smile and flicked on the volume so she could hear. Then it became the waiting game.
While Max waited for any type of intel that could give away Quinn's location, Carrie gave her deposition at the Congressional hearings. She spoke on Lockhart's behalf, giving the Director a very favorable review. Saul wasn't pleased and Carrie didn't care at all.
"I've got him." Those words from Max were like music to Carrie's ears.
"Well then let's get the fuck out of here." she responded. She was ready to get Quinn back.
Carrie and Max spent a few days in Istanbul, laying low and setting up a small room for Max to work from; he wouldn't be going any further. Carrie forbade it. He would communicate with her from that spot. After three days surveying the best route, Carrie was picked up the two ops guys that Lockhart had promised.
This was when the nightmare began for Carrie and what she now thought about every single day. It almost seems like a blur to her, how fast it all happened.
She had been traveling with her escorts toward the Syrian border. They had been stopped at a checkpoint and she had kept still, tucked away in a wooden crate in the back of a covered truck. It had smelled like animal crap. Carrie had held her breath the entire time she heard the officers going back and forth with her guy. Finally after 15 excruciatingly long minutes and raised voices, they let them through.
For her, that's what felt like the hard part. Carrie had gotten out of her hiding spot, pulled her blonde hair back and wrapped a large black scarf around her head and shoulders. She radioed into Max, obtaining the coordinates she needed. She was almost to Quinn. She had gotten so damn close and he had no idea.
Thirty minutes after the checkpoint and several turns off the main dirt road, the truck lurched forward suddenly, sending Carrie and her two men back, hitting the floor of the truck hard.
"What the fuck was that?!" she screamed, and pulled herself up to the driver but there was nothing out there.
"I don't know I-I saw someone, I don't know!" the man stammered, terrified.
Carrie drew her weapon and so did the other two men. Before they could make it out of the truck there were two men facing them, weapons raised, telling them not to move. They were in black, well geared and Carrie could tell they were US.
"What the fuck is this?!" Carrie yelled at them, her eyes wide, not understanding.
"Ms. Mathison I am going to need you to come with us immediately." the one man spoke, he was stern but not cruel.
"I am not going anywhere, and how the fuck do you know my name? I know you're one of ours, I am on official CIA-" she was cut off by the larger man who moved forward and he met her nose to nose, ignoring her weapon.
"You're not on any sort of official anything and you know that. On Dar Adal's orders you need to get in the vehicle, now." He pointed towards a small SUV parked alongside of the road, partially covered in brush. She didn't like him, he was gruff and she could tell he was losing patience.
"Well I don't work for Dar Adal so he can go fuck himself and so can you." Carrie turned to climb back into her truck and the man firmly planted his hand on her shoulder. She spun around and he knocked her gun out of her hand and the next thing she knew she was pinned to the dirt.
The man hovered over her, "I don't have time for this shit. Get in the fucking car." He growled into her ear as he snatched her to her feet quickly.
The other men Carrie had been accompanied by had lowered their weapons and were speaking lowly with the other man who had first spoken.
Quinn sat on the ridge line with Rob, it was dark and cold as always around this time. They didn't speak, they just watched from afar. Then something caught Quinn's eye; a reflection perhaps. He saw a commotion down below, "What the fuck is that.." he moved into position.
Rob was on his heels and attempted to divert Quinn from pursuing it, but he knew he was too late, "Probably nothing, I wouldn't bother.." but Quinn already had his scope to his eye.
He spotted the covered truck and could see the men with weapons, and another person dressed in black. "What the.." He focused in and tried to figure out what was happening. He saw his two guys down there too, intercepting whatever company they were about to receive. Rob quickly radioed down to them, and Quinn heard the response back, "Nothing, just some supplies and a local wandered off." Rob took a breath praying that Quinn didn't see that blonde hair of hers, "See.. Nothing, I told you."
Quinn watched for a few minutes until he saw Shawn load the local into the back of the truck. That guy needed to know when to go easier sometimes, he thought. Quinn had a strange feeling in his gut but he let it go and set down his weapon.
She remembered being tossed into the backseat roughly. She brushed herself off and ripped off her scarf from her head after they started to drive.
Carrie's frustrations came to a peak, "Do you have any idea what you've just done? You interfered with a mission that had nothing to do with you! Someone could die!" she yelled.
Shawn scoffed and turned around to face her, "That's a bit hypocritical don't you think.."
Carrie couldn't believe the balls on this guy. "I need to make a call. Give me your phone." she demanded.
"Sorry, we only have our direct lines for engagement." he responded, certainly not sorry at all.
At that moment she was beyond pissed. "Dar Adal won't be able to protect you from answering to the Director of the CIA so you better come up with a goddamn good story before we get back." Carrie snapped at them.
"The Director is the one who authorized your extraction Ms. Mathison." Shawn told her, not turning to face her this time.
"That's bullshit. Lockhart would never have me pulled out." Carrie shook her head.
"Director Berenson...Mr. Lockhart resigned three days ago." Shawn smugly informed her and knew that would silence the conversation.
"No... No that's not true!" Carrie yelled, she felt like her world was being dumped upside down again.
"Well you can ask him yourself when we get back."
Carrie sat in complete silence the rest of the ride until they got to the military base in Turkey. They loaded her and Max, who they had scooped up while intercepting Carrie, onto a cargo plane and sent them home.
She knew she had been close. Maybe thirty minutes more max and she would have been to Quinn. She would have seen his face, felt his skin, maybe punched him, but that was besides the point. And Saul took that away from her. He took Quinn away from her.
As soon as that plane landed Carrie was enroute to Langley. The entire ordeal was a bit of blur but she knew she had stalked around the agency, asking anyone she came across if they had seen Saul and finally she had found him in a conference room meeting with three senior agents and Dar Adal. He had stood immediately when she barged in and Carrie remembered him asking her to leave and her refusing. Saul had asked her several times to wait for him in the hall and she still refused.
"How dare you! You had NO right! You have no idea what you did!" she had shouted at him fiercely. "I don't know how they put a traitor back as Director!"
That broke Saul's patience, "You want to do this here, Carrie? Alright. You think I am going to let you continue on some dangerous field trip so you can get your way? So you can interfere with an actual mission? YOU have no clue what you almost fucked up! And I will not let you destroy what other people have worked for over whatever false romance you think you're involved in!" Saul's words were cruel and painful and he knew she would take them hard.
Carrie lunged at him after his last sentence, swinging her fists at him, hitting his glasses off, she remembered that. "I HATE YOU! I fucking hate you!" She had yelled as she was pulled out of the room. Carrie remembered staring at Saul hard before being removed. Inside, her heart broke again.
The next two weeks following the incident at Langley, Carrie holed up in Max's van near Dar Adal's home. They listened to countless hours of nothing and the small bits she did get weren't helpful and it was never Quinn on the line. All she wanted was to hear his voice. Adal must have had some system of taking calls because half of what they heard was missing.
It was early in the morning and Carrie had dozed off, slumped over in the corner of the van, after a long night of surveillance. Max stayed up when she slept, not wanting to miss anything, just in case. And good thing he did. He heard what sounded like intense orders coming from Adal to Rob, who sounded distressed.
"Carrie! Wake up!" Max shook her, until her eyes jolted open "you have to hear this! I don't know what's happening exactly, but something is going down." He shoved headphones her way and she hastily put them on.
She was immediately wide awake and listening to every sound on the line. Carrie held her breath, waiting to hear Quinn's voice but instead she heard Rob's.
"We're in deep...I've got 14 up the ridge bearing down on us." Rob's voice was breaking up over the line but he sounded distressed.
"Hold your position do NOT let them over that ridge !" Adal was much calmer than Rob but there was a tinge of worry in his voice. He couldn't afford for this to get fucked up.
There was a period of loud noise, static and yelling back and forth. Carrie and Max could barely make out what was happening. Then she heard gunshots, automatic fire, fast, loud - and close. Carrie looked up at Max, her face turned white.
"We're taking heavy fire!" Rob's voice shouted over the line, "we've lost our hold on the ridge, they're coming up the west. We have to fall back!" Carrie heard other voices vaguely in the background and could swear she heard Quinn yelling orders to the others. There was another long round of gunfire back and forth, which had felt like an eternity to listen to.
"We're falling back to the east. We've been hit, we're hit!" Rob yelled desperately. Carrie had sworn she had completely stopped breathing at that moment and maybe even lost consciousness.
Adal's voice swept over the line with urgency, "Confirm who has been hit" there was nothing but static. "Alpha 8 I need a confirmation!" There was a long silence and finally Rob's voice broke over the line.
"Quinn's down, we're all wounded!" Rob yelled as he tried to return fire.
That was the moment Carrie swore she left her body. She couldn't even take it all in but she knew he was hurt. "What the fuck does down mean?" She yelled at Max, her eyes darted but she was silenced by Adal's response on the line.
"Leave Quinn. Get out of there, now!" Adal yelled to Rob, his voice was strong but full of uncertainty.
"I can't leave-" Rob started to protest but Adal cut him off quickly.
"That is a direct order, Alpha 8. Fall back immediately and break off." Adal told him sternly and Carrie didn't hear his voice again after that.
"Copy that." was the last thing she hear before ripping off the headphones and throwing them to the side. Max faced her, trying to calm her down but saw how distraught she was becoming.
"They left him... They left him there..." Carrie said her voice trailed off and the tears formed in her eyes. "That fucking son of a bitch is going to pay for this. I have to get him to turn them around, they have to go back!" She yelled and started out the back of the van, Adal's home in her sight. Max yanked Carrie back, holding her by both arms.
"You can't do that. If you go out there this is over and you'll have no connection to Quinn at all." Max had looked at her closely, "I know you're worried and you care about him but this is all you have left Carrie.."
She had started to cry and knew Max was right but didn't want to give up. "I have to get them to go back. How could they just leave him there? He's hurt, he could be dy-" she stopped herself. She couldn't think that way.
"I am sorry, Max, I have to try." Carrie had told him and made a second attempt to exit the van, but Max grabbed her by the back of both arms, firmer than the first time and held her back.
"Max let me go now! I am not going to figh-" Carrie stopped talking, and stopped moving immediately. Her body fell limp as she stared out the back window of the van. It was as if the wind had been knocked out of her and any last shred of emotion was gone.
Max looked at her, this was the first time she had ever stopped struggling like that. "What? What is it?" He climbed around next to her, straightening his glasses and saw she was staring out the window, her eyes full of tears. Saul was mid-stride, walking briskly away from Dar Adal's house. He had been in there the entire time and he let them abandon Quinn. Carrie had nothing else to do in that moment but cry.
Carrie waited a few days after that incident to confront Saul. She knew she had to do something but wasn't clear what. She also needed a little time to pass before making the call.
"Saul..look I've been thinking about everything that's happened and I think we should talk. I don't want to leave things like this." she had lied and said to him in her calm, defeated voice which Saul immediately gave into.
Carrie knocked on his door the same afternoon, and he allowed her into the living room. This was personal, no need to go near Langley.
"Carrie, I am glad you finally called, I've been trying to get in touch with you." Saul told her, pouring some water, she shook her head. "I am also glad you've realized that there are some things that are more important than a misunderstanding."
Carrie had listened to him and she thought she would be able to hold out longer but couldn't. "So was it a misunderstanding when you allowed Dar Adal to leave Quinn for dead?" she said calmly and stared at him intensely.
Saul was completely taken aback, how did she know that? "What are you talking about?" he asked.
"Come on, Saul. Don't play that with me, just come out with it! I know you were working with Dar Adal on the mission that Quinn is on in Syria. I know that you had me brought home because I got too close to him. I KNOW that you allowed Adal to give the order to leave Quinn for dead after he'd been hit!" Carrie's words had gotten increasingly louder until she was shouting and closed the gap between them.
Saul took a deep breath, "Carrie, sit down.." he said quietly gesturing towards the couch.
"No! I don't want to sit I want you to tell me what the fuck is going on!" she yelled, her patience was gone.
"I said sit, Carrie." Saul told her sternly, giving her a look.
"Why.." Carrie looked at him, she had seen this look before. He wanted to calm her down, he had the same tone in his voice when he had told her there was nothing he could do to save Brody. She slowly shook her head as the words came out of his mouth.
"Carrie, I am sorry... Quinn's dead." Saul had told her very quietly as if to try and soothe her suffering but she wasn't having it.
"No. No he's not, I heard him..I-" she pushed Saul away as he tried to guide her to the couch. "Don't touch me!" Carrie shouted at him.
"He's gone. His team fell under attack by a group of insurgents we didn't catch on our radar. There was a fire fight and Quinn was hit." Saul had slowly explained to her as she didn't blink once, still shaking her head.
"That's a lie! That's bullshit I heard Adal tell them to leave Quinn. They would have no idea if he's still alive." Carrie was grasping at anything at this point, it wasn't true, it couldn't be.
Saul sighed and tried to reach out again to calm her flailing arms but she backed away. "Carrie look at me." She refused. "Look at me!" He yelled and placed his hands on her shoulders, then his voice softened when she looked at him. "They went back for him. He bled out before they could have him extracted." She shuttered at his words letting out a cry and looked down, feeling her body crumble and her heart sink. "I am so sorry, Carrie."
She stopped crying and caught her breath for a moment yet the tears still streamed down her cheeks. "You can't be sorry because if he's dead..then you killed him." she gave him a long hard look, "I need to see him. I need to see his body."
Saul sighed, holding his grip on her, afraid of letting go. "There's no body Carrie. He was cremated early this morning. It was what he asked for. That's why I've been calling you."
Carrie pushed Saul away and shook her quickly, "No...no...he wouldn't..." she strode towards the door throwing it open as he yelled her name. She turned and looked at Saul, "You stay away from me."
Carrie breathed in and out, hard deep breaths as she walked, tears flowing and when she made it to her car, she drove away quickly. She pulled over a block away and parked her car on the side of the road. Carrie let her body slump over the steering wheel and she sobbed loudly, all alone. She had lost him. The only man she could rely on, she'd lost.
Carrie didn't move from her room for two days after her conversation with Saul. She didn't sleep, eat or speak to anyone. She listened to the message Lockhart left her, offering his condolences, apologizing profusely and telling her about Quinn's 'funeral' that would be held the next day. Since he had no family, the agency felt it was right to give him a burial. How could she bury him? No, she couldn't. She wouldn't go.
Max called her several times, demanding she call him back, and finally after the 24th call and hearing the urgency in his voice, she picked up. "What?" She slurred, still a little loopy from her sleeping pill she had taken.
"Carrie where have you been? I've been trying to call you!" Max scolded her, talking too fast for her current state of comprehension.
"I see that... 24 times. If you're about to tell me details for Quinn's funeral, Lockhart beat you to it, besides I-" before she could finish Max cut her off hurriedly.
"No no, not that. Look...after you told me about how Saul claimed Quinn died, it just didn't add up. I've been camped outside Dar Adal's house since Tuesday. I've been listening to-"
"What? You're still there? Max, he's dead. Please stop.." Carrie felt defeated her voice breaking as she started to tear up. She had convince herself that Quinn was gone.
"No, I am not going to stop. Carrie listen to me...if Adal's team aborted the mission and are back on our soil then why is he still giving commands to an Alpha 1?" Max's words didn't seem real and they jolted Carrie out of her haze. "I've been observing Adal's patterns. Every two hours like clockwork he asks for a line to Alpha 1. Then he must go somewhere else because I can't pick up audio." Max waited on the other end of the line.
Carrie put what he was saying together and could barely get the words out. "Oh my God..." She breathed out and shut her eyes, "You think Quinn is Alpha 1..."
"It makes more sense than that crap story Saul fed you." Max replied feeling triumphant. "What do you want to do?"
She sat there in silence until she heard her name "Carrie?"
"I am going to go to that funeral and then we're going to find Quinn. This time I am not leaving without him. They'll have to kill me first." she hung up with Max and realized she had stopped crying. He was alive and she was going to get him home.