Chapter 6:
21 days. I had 21 days until the conference. 21 days to strengthen my marriage and only 21 days to fight lust that was forming.
I could barely focus on working at my desk without his scent creeping in my nose. Images of what almost happened and what could happen flooded my mind. All could see were his lips all over my skin when I looked at the screen, instead of the long strands of data.
"Katara!" The slightly grating voice snapped me out of my fantasies. "You've been quiet lately. Something going on?"
This wasn't the time nor the place to unload my marital drama to my co-worker. Toph would just have deal with not knowing for now.
"Nothing. I'm just a little tired." I responded back trying to key in a new set of numbers in the sequence. I could feel Toph's disbelieving glare from my own desk.
"Yea, right." She gritted her teeth and turned back to her desk. "By the way there's some flowers or something at the front desk for you."
Flowers? Who would send me flowers? Maybe Aang really was ready to work on things. I got up and walked over to front desk. Stacy, our receptionist was there as always. She was on the phone but was kind enough to hand me the flowers and the card.
"Thanks Stace," I muttered as I opened the card. Only two words were written in neat cursive on the card: I'm sorry. A big smile came across my face. God, Aang was really trying to put the romance back into our marriage. That was all I was asking for this entire time.
I walked back to my desk with a large smile on my face. Aang was into the biggest surprise of his life when I get home tonight. I'd pull out all the stops. Give him a massage, run a bath for him, even massage his feet if he asked. I couldn't remember the last time Aang had bought me flowers.
"Ohhh Aang must really be trying to get a lap dance tonight Kat. What's the occasion?" Toph asked as I sat down at my desk and placed the flowers in my vase.
"I don't know. Guess he's feeling nice today." I smiled once again and went back to work.
That day I zoomed through all of my work with super-efficient speeds. Every time I looked up at the computer screen I got a glimpse of those beautiful flowers and felt motivated. I finished up most of my work around 3. I decided I could step out for a moment and make a phone call. I went around the corner and into the hallway. I just had to tell Aang how much I was thankful for him.
"Hello?" Aang always sounded so young on the phone. I used to joke with him about having an anti-aging gene. By far he was the youngest looking one out of the old college gang.
"Babe, remember when you asked me out on date and you spelled out 'Will go out with me?' in white rose petals?" I remember that day like it was yesterday. My heart sunk into my chest when I walked into my dorm room and say 100 rose petals scattered all over the floor. Aang was kneeling there, right in front of his masterpiece. How could I say no to a man who was so passionate in asking me out on a simple date? I miss that about him. The spontaneity, the emotion.
"Yea, it took me two hours to put all of those petals in place. My heart was pounding the entire time but your roommate swore you'd be back much later and the surprise wouldn't be ruined." He chuckled a light hearted laugh and said, "Why are you thinking about this now? Shouldn't be working?"
He was pretending like he didn't know. Aang was always so modest, "Let's just say you're in for a big surprise when I get home tonight. I appreciate the gift you sent me."
"As much as I love you willing to be kinky at work, I have no idea what gift you're talking about."
He was dead serious. He didn't send the flowers. He didn't send the flowers. He DIDN'T send the flowers! Here I thought my husband was trying to make a romantic gesture and a complete stranger sent me unexpected flowers. Fuck, well this was embarrassing.
"Oh sorry. I thought you sent me flowers. Must have been for someone else then. I'm sorry for interrupting you." My face was hot. I wasn't wrong for assuming. I was wrong for hoping and believing he would have actually did that for me.
"It's okay baby. I'm glad you called though. Kana got into a fight at school today. Suki already picked her up. The principal wants to meet with a parent and-
Of course he needed me to step in as parent when he got whisked off to save kids on Africa or something. I should've known. This how the cycle began. He does one nice thing like the candles, rose petals, and amazing sex but nothing ever changed. It was business as usual.
I replied back in frustration, "And you can't. God, okay. I'll up there when I get off of work."
"I'm happy you understand. I'm meeting with possible brokers tonight about the solar energy panel. This could be it Kat. I can't leave work right now at this important stage."
And my work wasn't important? When was he going to do things for the kids when it wasn't convenient for him? Why the hell was my child fighting in the first place? Of course he didn't care enough to get the vital information.
"Yea, I love you."
"Love you too." He responded in a robotic voice then hung up. I let out a loud sigh and tossed my phone across the hallway.
"Had a fun conversation?" I knew that voice. Out of all the times to walk in this hallway he had to walk in to the one I was in. "You aren't supposed to be on the phone at work."
That stupid ass smirk and his condescending attitude and his sexy body was mocking me right now. It made my blood boil. Seeing him just made me feel even more like shit. He reminded me of my sin, my lust, and my desires.
"I, I have to go. My daughter had a school incident. I'm done my work so you don't have to worry about it." I picked my phone up, smoothed out my skirt, and tried to get my composure together.
"That's fine. Seems like a serious family issue." He smirked once again as if he was rooting for the demise of my family. The way he put emphasis on serious was like he was taking it as a joke. Screw it, I had already crossed the line once. I can't argue with my boss like we're a married couple.
Once I got to Kana's school I met the principal in his office. The kids have been at this school for a couple years now and had never had any trouble. We moved when I found out I was pregnant, specifically for this school. We heard how the curriculum fostered creativity and individual expression and that sold us on enrolling the kids here when they got old enough. We knew all of the teachers, the principal, even the lunch lady, and most of the parents. To find myself in this office for something disciplinary was still shocking to me.
I sat down across from the desk and expected a long conversation but instead I was greeted with tea and soothing music. I knew Principal Iroh loved tea because all of the parents raved about how relaxing going to his office was. I didn't expect him to be this…Zen I suppose.
Principal Iroh smiled at me and stroked his beard then said, "Welcome Ms. Sapphire. I know this is the first time you've been in my office. I hope it's too your comfort."
"Yes, it's very cozy. However, I'm not comfortable with the reason I am here. Kana got into a fight. What happened?"
I picked up the cup of tea and sipped it leisurely as he spoke, "I see. Well Kana was on the playground this afternoon and she tackled another student."
I replied. "That sounds so unlike her. She's always been so soft spoken." She took after her father in that regard.
"Well her teacher has said she's been a little aggressive lately. She reports that Kana breaks crayons during playtime and screams at other kids on the playground sometimes. She seems disinterested in her schoolwork as well."
"I, um had no idea Kana has been expressing herself in this way. Is the other kid alright? The kid she tackled?"
"Yes, Mason is fine. However I have to ask: is there anything happening at home? I know Kana is a great student and an excellent girl."
"Well, um yes but nothing she's involved in."
"Let me tell you something. Kids are more perceptive than you think. They are like little sponges that soak up all of the energy in their environment. You may not think she's involved but she can feel every single thing that's going on in the house. Both of your kids aren't as naïve as you think. If these home issues do not heal then your daughter and even your son could be more affected than you think."
So his wise old man look wasn't actually a costume he put on, it was a lifestyle for him. His words hit me hard. They could feel the rockiness in our marriage. How could I think they wouldn't know just because we argued when they went to sleep?
"I assure you Kana will be fine when she returns on Monday. I'm sorry about this whole thing, Mr. Agni." Of all the times I had referred to him as Mr. Agni, I had never realized it was such a common name, I couldn't escape Zuko even at my kid's school. He was taunting me everywhere now.
"Best of luck. Please stop by if you want any more tea. It has plenty of antioxidants for a young women like yourself."
I laughed, "I'll keep that in mind."
I needed more then tea if I was going to make an actual change. 21 days to save my marriage, I remembered.
I drove over to pick up Kana from my brother's house. Thank God for Suki. She was truly a sister and a ride or die to me. When she came to the door her brown hair was swept into a bun. She must have been cleaning or something because she never had her hair up for the most part.
"Thanks so much Suki. I appreciate this."
"No problem girl. Kana's in the dining room with Sokka doing homework."
I nodded and headed into the dining room. Sokka was seated next to Kana writing on a piece of paper. Just as I walked into the room it was as if Kana froze.
"Mommy, I'm-"
"I don't want to hear it Kana. You know better than to get into fights at school, to get into fights period. Why would you do that to that little boy?"
"He was yelling at Patricia like how daddy yells at you sometimes. I just wanted him to stop." She explained it and it broke my heart. Sokka's icy, blue eyes peered at me with concern. I could tell he wanted to understand what was going on. He was always so overprotective. He wouldn't even let Aang and me be alone in the house together until we had date for two years.
"Kana, go help your Aunt Suki clean up." I demanded and she did as I said. When it was just me and Sokka I dreaded the scolding I was due to get from my big brother. I might as well sit down so that's what I did.
Sokka spoke in possibly the most serious tone I had ever heard from him, "Katara, if you and Aang are having problems. You need to work that out. He damn sure shouldn't be yelling at you for any reason. If he's hitting you we can handle this right now."
I scoffed at the idea of Aang hitting me. He would never. He was far too passive and respectful to even raise a hand to me. No, he didn't hit me. The emotion scars were far worse than anything he could do from one hit.
"He isn't hitting me Sokka. We're having issues that's all."
"You can talk to me about anything. When the problem involves my niece and it involves my sister, that problem is now my problem. What is it Katara? What's so bad that it's effecting her so bad."
"Aang and I just aren't having a good relationship right now okay. We're working on it."
"What exactly is it? You can trust me. I want to help."
"There's nothing left Sokka. He should've married his damn job instead of me. He's never home and I have to beg him to touch me, to even look at me. It's over. The spark is dead but we can fix it."
"Is he cheating on you Katara? If he is I will kill him."
I sighed. My heart started beating fast. The real answer was no, I was the one who was cheating or halfway cheating anyway but Sokka would never forgive me if I told him that. The wording cheating made me sweat and get a funny feeling in my stomach. I couldn't face this. I couldn't even face it with myself let alone my brother. I had to run. I had to breathe.
"No, no he is not. I have to go Sokka. Thanks for handling Kana but I think it's time she gets home. Kana let's go!" I stormed out so fast I hadn't even said good bye to anyone. I got Kana's stuff, got us both into the car, and drove home.
It was 10:42. I heard the key turn in the door, his coat hit the ground, and his work bag be settled on the living room floor with a soft thump. He was so predictable. In two minutes he would begin to head upstairs after shifting through the mail on the coffee table.
I sat up in bed. He would be here in thirty seconds. He would then take his shoes off, pull off his shirt, then greet me. He would ceremoniously ask me about my day and then shower for exactly ten minutes. Then he would put on his boxers and crawl into the opposite side of the bed, not touching me once.
That night I didn't want his stupid routine. We weren't going to sweep the fact that our daughter is hurting under the rug. He got out the shower and slipped his boxers on. As soon as I heard the waistband snap I was ready.
"Kana is suspended for three days Aang. She tackled a little boy at school."
He spoke in a monotone voice and said, "Well she shouldn't have done that but I'm sure she'll learn her lesson."
I said emphatically, "No she won't learn her lesson if we do not fix this."
Aang said matter-of-factly, "So we put her on punishment. We take away her games."
He was so clueless it was pathetic. I couldn't stand it,
"I am not talking about her fighting. I'm talking about our marriage Aang. The kids, they know we're falling apart."
"We are not falling apart Kat and so what we argue sometimes. The kids will be fine."
How dare he deny the state and substance of our very marriage being unstable.
"God damn it Aang do you feel anything? Do you care about anything other than fucking children in god damn Africa?"
"Katara, stop yelling. You'll wake the kids." Aang said in whispered tone.
"No, no, NO! Get fucking angry, feel something! I am tired of this."
"I did what you wanted. I just did something romantic for you the other day. Stop it."
"It's not about doing shit Aang. You aren't fucking here ever. You are always at work. You come home and you don't talk to me much. When you are home you don't touch me. I have to beg you to have sex with me. You don't give a fuck about anything except your job. Meanwhile your wife and your children are all going to shit."
"Everything is fine. You are just overreacting from stress. Everything will be fine."
"Screw you. Screw your optimism. Everything is NOT fine." I could feel the tears streaming down my cheeks. I throw my face into the nearby pillow and scream as loud as I can. He stroked my hair and planted soft kisses on my head.
"It'll be okay. It'll be okay." He kept muttering.
It wasn't going to be okay. It was never going to be okay. He was never going to change.
19 days until the conference and I couldn't even look at Aang without wanting to cry. He was delusional. He viewed the entire world through rose colored glass, like he was 12 years old and believed that things could never go wrong. He wasn't capable of passion and maybe I couldn't be able to fault him for that. I could however hope for the best with this conference.
Zuko had me working on the presentation. It would have been fine if we didn't have to be close sometimes. Even working in the large board room with the clear, see through walls I could still feel the tension. We were surround by coworkers and countless other people in the office and all I could think about was having his tongue between my legs. It was 2:30. Two and a half hours until I'd be off and could go satisfy my needs away from him.
His smell was an aphrodisiac to me. I wondered what cologne he wore. Maybe I could get Aang to wear it. I wondered what he did with his free time. If he had a harem of women at his disposal. If his sex was as good as his mouth. I wondered if he still wanted me. If he was going crazy just like I was, if he was struggling to suppress his desires just as I was.
"This is great. We're almost finished and we'll be ready for the conference."
"Yea, we only have three weeks."
"Yes, three weeks."
Silence set in. I could hear my own heart beat against my rib cage. I hoped he couldn't hear me breathing hard as hell. I wore the most unflattering outfit I could find. I put on Aang's white button up shirt, tucked in and black slacks. At least I knew the tension wouldn't be there because of my outfit.
"Katara." That tone. That was the tone that he moaned my name in. I could feel myself getting turned on already.
"Yes?" I hoped to God my self-control was strong enough.
"Did you like the flowers?" His tone completely switched to a calm one. He was fucking with me. He liked to watch me squirm and get turned on. This was a game to him. He was lucky I was one to play.
I was clearly an idiot to not even assume it was him who bought them.
"You bought me those?"
"Yea, I didn't know how else to apologize for what happened. I hope you accept."
Was taking these flowers a white flag or an invitation to play? Either way I appreciated the gesture. Still I couldn't allow him to touch me again but yet he was already in my head. Even now being near him made my mouth go dry. That didn't mean I didn't want to value my marriage. I constantly remembered my marriage and my vows, which made things even more difficult.
I tried to sound as not disappointed as possible,"Thanks. I thought they were from my husband."
Zuko replied, "Pretend they're from him if it make things easier."
Noted but difficult to be done. Something I was tired of doing was pretending.
I decided to change the subject because frankly the air was getting thin, "Hey, um do you know Iroh Agni? He's the principal at my kid's school."
His eyes widened when he spoke, "He's my uncle. Small world. I thought he was opening a tea shop. Not becoming a teacher."
"Oh he has tea! He offered me tea in his office. It was very good."
I could feel myself unraveling already. I came to work to avoid my home problems, not talk about them.
"That's my uncle. If he doesn't have tea with him you should run." Zuko laughed, "So is your daughter alright?"
"She got into a fight that's all. She's fine." My voice was going to crack. Jesus, I was a wreck. Dammit.
"Everything is not fine Katara. Come on let's go to my office and talk."
I followed him. As soon as he shut the door I bawled and sobbed so hard all he could do is stare at me silently. When I was done he handed me a tissue and I wiped my eyes.
I sniffled and said, "Fuck, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that."
"It's fine. We all have our days. Sometimes everything isn't going to be okay and that's fine. I get it."
I appreciated how real and honest he was with me. He was right. Sometimes everything was not going to be okay and that was part of life.
"Pst, my kid likes to tackle children and that's just the beginning. Not sure you can exactly get it."
He said in a deadpan voice, "No I have no kids but I do have a bipolar sister, a less than grade-A dad, and an ex-fiancee who won't go away. Family shit is rough. I get that."
That sounds terrible and far worse than what I was going through. He had an entire almost marriage! When? What? Why?
"You had a—"
"Don't ask. Our families were close. She's friends with my sister. I was an idiot and thought I was in love. That's why I bought out this company. I want people to find their matches properly and not on the whim."
"I wish I had waited. I wish things were different."
"All you're doing is hoping and not fixing the problem. I learned in life you either take a stand or let things happen to you. Whatever you want you should go after it and not live for other people."
Was this an invitation to kiss him because God, I wanted to. All it leaves is a little wet mark; a shallow pool of saliva on my cheek. But when he plants the kiss there I feel warmth spread through my limbs and my mind feels a pleasant buzz. Every good thing seems possible, likely even. And then I know I've found what I've been looking for, someone to show me what it means to be happy from the inside out, so my smile can be real and not a mask.
A lull occurs, I can just look into his eyes, and it still feels like we're talking, even though we're silent. The look itself is saying something.
"You should go. We have to stay away from each other." Zuko whispered into my ear.
"I don't want to." I whispered back. He made me feel for once. He felt things back. He gave me passion and things Aang couldn't. He made me feel good, so good.
He was anxious now, fidgeting with his hands, sweating on his brow, and breathing heavy. I emit a tiny gasp when I note the familiar glazing over in his eyes. It's like I've just enchanted him, ensnaring him with my gaze. This game of desire was intoxicating.
Zuko gritted his teeth and said, "You're married. I can't have you."
"It's time to go after what I wanted and not live for other people right."
Something about this was right but so wrong.
Author's Note: All done and happy holidays to all. Let me know if I have any spelling errors. Do you like this update? What do you think will happen next?