22 New Years Night - Is it Too Soon to Talk about Marriage?

Preparing for bed they had been discussing the success of the evening. How glad they were that the boys seemed excited about the move, how cutely charming William had been escorting Kate up the front steps through the falling snow. Now, facing one another in bed, Kate asked what Caroline and her mother had been discussing when she came into the room. "Just reassuring her that you're alright."

Raising her brows, "And…"

Guiltily, "I might have told her that the doctor wants you to begin working only part time."

Indignantly, "Caroline!"

Defensively, "How was I to know you hadn't told her? You didn't say." Then reasonably, "You weren't planning to keep it a secret were you?"

"No." Grudgingly, "I guess I'm just used to telling my own news in my own time."

Sincerely, "Sorry. I am sorry. I won't say anything again without checking with you first. It might help though if you keep me up to date when there is something your not saying to her." Turning on the charm, "It is just nice talking to someone who loves you as much as I do. I think she must feel a little the same." Grinning proudly, "She told me she could quite see why you love me."

Doubt, "You're teasing me now."

Eyes wide, "She did. You can ask her." Caroline's hand had been playing over Kate's stomach. "She's active tonight." Smiling into Kate's eyes, "Our little Callie." They were quiet for a few moments. Then, reflectively, "Kate?

"Mmm Hmm?" Delicate fingers tracing the blue veins which ran horizontally beneath the translucent skin on Caroline's chest.

"Kate, it's been quite a week. Hasn't it?"

Looking into Caroline's face she saw her seriousness. Smiling soothingly, "Yes. It has. A week ago this time we hadn't talked yet. Not really. Are you OK? Is there something else?"

"I'm fine. How about you? Anything else for you? Are you worried about anything? Anything about us?"

Shifting on her pillow for a better view, "Caroline. I'm fine. I'm a little worried by the look on your face right now. What is it?"

"Kate." Hesitating, "Kate, is it too soon for us to start talking about marriage?"

Surprised, "Marriage. I didn't know you were thinking of marriage." Searchingly, "You didn't say."

"I know." Shrugging again, "I've been… processing this week. There's been a lot to think about."

Blue eyes plumbing brown for depth, "You know I wouldn't bring it up if it weren't important."

Gently, "Why? Why is it important now?"

"A few reasons. For one, you know I don't do casual. I told you once that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you." With the love light in her eyes, "That hasn't changed, I still do, but it's so much more than that now, Kate." Tears brimming, "I love you so much. Not just for how you make me feel but for you. I want to care for you, protect you. Cherish you."

Overwhelmed, "Caroline. Oh Caroline. I love you too. Dear Heart, I'm sorry we've been apart so long…"

Caroline couldn't help smiling whenever Kate called her that name. Putting a finger over Kate's lips to stop her talking about their estrangement, "Shush. Not tonight. Its in the past. Forgotten."

Laying lips on one another to seal this again, then, "Several reasons?" Kate prompted.

Looking down for a moment slightly embarrassed, "Call me old-fashioned, but I don't like the idea of a child of mine being born to parents who aren't married. She might … one day… wonder if we really wanted her. I don't want her ever to doubt our love for her or," meeting Kate's eyes, "for one another." She saw Kate's nod but knew she was still considering this aspect and continued. "If we're married when she is born, she is ours. No question, no doubt. Legally she is mine as much as yours." Looking a little fierce, "No one can come along later…"

Tenderly, "Oh Caroline, is this what's worrying you?"

"More than a little if I'm honest. I don't want it hanging over our heads that any time he likes he could waltz back in and start something. Put us all through… whatever."

Attempting to reassure, "Caroline, I don't think Greg would do that. I haven't heard from him in all these months. I've been willing to let it lie and he has too. Surely…"

Adamantly, "But we don't know that do we?" Gently, she really had no wish to reopen a wound, "I don't suppose you had him sign…" At the shake of the head and the remorseful look Caroline went on.

"There is another important reason." Caroline raised up on an elbow to look into Kate's face. "I want the right to protect you. We don't know what's going to happen when the time comes for Callie to be born. I don't want anyone to be able to question our devotion to one another, question whether it's my place to decide what is best for you. I may need… legal rights to make sure you get the best care." Caroline sat up and pulled Kate to a sitting position, it seemed too important a subject to discuss lying down. Cross-legged facing her, "Do you trust me to make those kinds of decisions for you Kate?"

Kate swiveled around to face Caroline. Taking Caroline's hands and placing them on either side of her belly, covering them with her own and gazing deep into anxious blue eyes, "Caroline, I trust you to do what you believe is best for both of us. There is no one I would trust as much as you except my Mum. Well, Kevin, but it's hardly likely that he'd be here." Dropping her eyes to where the baby moved within her then back to Caroline, she said slowly, "I don't think my Mum wants the responsibility for us. She was reluctantly willing when you and I were… apart. But I think she's very glad that… you are who you are and has probably, in her mind, already passed that on to you." Fear for her child and herself on the inevitable day of reckoning, fear for Caroline's response in her eyes, "Are you sure you are willing to take all of this on?"

Reversing their hands so that she covered Kate's with her own over the little life within. Caroline's face working for control she tilted her head and said tenderly, "Kate. We are way past willing. At some point you and I became so inexplicably intertwined that there is simply no going back from that. I am responsible for you. For your happiness and welfare... in every way." Apology in her face, "and like it or not you're responsible for me." Seeing the question forming, "Yes, I trust you implicitly."

A look of wonder came over Caroline's face as she continued to hold Kate's gaze, "After this week - Sunday morning..." Opening and closing her mouth, not sure what to say about that experience, "Kate, I don't know how we could be more married."

Considering all of this, she held Caroline's hands in her lap now, "But you still want to have a wedding?"

Caroline more than a little hurt took her hands back and used them to lift herself and move away from Kate, preparing herself for the rejection. "

Kate seeing the beautiful face close over with vulnerability and hurt realized the truth of their responsibility for one another. She reached for the cinnamon spotted shoulders to keep her from retreating further. "Caroline, please." Dipping her head to look into the downcast face, "Please listen, I wasn't saying no. I was just asking a question. We're having a discussion. Please look at me."

Slowly the blue lights reappeared, bright with unshed tears. "Caroline you were right, we couldn't be any more married than we are right now. It's everything I ever wanted. More." Watching the color return to the blanched face. "I was just asking if you still wanted a ceremony after everything you just said."

"Why am I always such a mess and you aren't?"

"I'm pretty much of a mess inside just now after seeing your face."

"You don't look it."

Taking back the hands that were wringing themselves in Caroline's lap, "Caroline, I'm hanging on for dear life here."

Surprise showing, "How?"

Rolling her eyes, "Every time I come anywhere near you, Caroline, my life begins spinning out of control.

Exasperatedly smiling, "I agree to play the piano for your mother's wedding and the next thing I know I'm snogging your face off in front of everyone you know." Watching the crinkles form at the corners of recollecting blue eyes, "I have to tell my mother that I am back together with the woman who has had me inside out for months."

Protesting loudly, "I had you-!" until a hand clamps over her mouth.

Incredulous at herself, "I stay overnight with you, in this house, in front of not only your boys but your Mum, and your whole extended family. I spend the most emotional three days of my life, BAR NONE, slogging through our past debacles with you and just as I am beginning to recover from that you have me moving house to one of the poshest flats in Harrogate." Holding up her hand, "Before we even begin to embark on this move, you're asking me to marry you." Extending her hands palms up, Kate rests her case.

Caroline manages a straight face, "So you want to wait until next week to talk about the wedding?"

Kate threw up her hands and looked at the ceiling, "Dear God in heaven!"

Laughing the laugh that Kate loved to hear, Caroline gently pushed her sideways onto the pillows, quickly following. "Sorry, sorry." Struggling for the straight face again and failing midway, "We can wait til week after next if you like."

Kate, warning on her face flips her, pinning arms helpless with laughter beside the blonde hair. "I swear Caroline, if you weren't so…

Daring her, suddenly seductive, "What?" As she watched the incrementally descending mouth track with her movements, Caroline couldn't help the slight smile that played on her waiting face, pleased at the effect she was having.

Kate, moving in on those enticing lips, saw the twinkling blue eyes turning dark with desire as she hovered, watching parted lips demanding figuratively and literally, "kiss me." Refusal was impossible, delay brief. The indigo eyes fixed on her, the lips rising, seeking her, finding her. Home. No thought for anything now but this.