**Notes: Hello! Happy Holidays! I'm sorry about the delay in posting there... needed to do some catching up between me and my fantabulous beta, Elensari. I hope you enjoy this little resolution to the Macra adventure. There's just a couple more chapters and I'll tackle my own version of the xmas episode. Enjoy!**

Chapter Nineteen – Brainstorm

The electrical impulses in Alex's brain were firing rapidly but without purpose. If Evander couldn't find him in here soon, they might lose his mind forever. Memories that they both shared were flashing all around him as he fought his way through to the centre of Alex's consciousness. He found him curled up in a ball and trembling as images from the Time War raged around them both.

Evander grasped his shoulders and pulled him up to a sitting position. Alex looked at him confusedly and asked, "Who are you? Where am I?"

Feeling an intense stab of worry over the state of Alex's mind, Evander focused on getting them out of here first. "Doctor, I need you to focus for a moment. We are in your mind and only you can stop all of this chaos. Pull your thoughts together and get your mental shields back in place," Evander said as calmly as he could manage.

Alex closed his eyes and his brow furrowed in concentration. The memories around them quieted and settled back into the spaces that usually contained them. Once everything was calm once again, Evander eased himself out of Alex's mind.

They opened their eyes at the same time and Alex looked around the room in confusion. "This is the TARDIS, but who are you? What's going on? Have I regenerated again? I hadn't even got used to the last one," Alex said as he looked down at himself. He spotted a mirror on the far side of the room and jumped off the bed towards it. "The face is a bit pretty... and the accent? I was starting to like the last one."

Evander's eyes grew wide in shock. Regenerated? He didn't remember even looking like that? How much had he forgotten? "Doctor, I can explain everything, but you seem to have lost a significant amount of your memories," Evander said as he contemplated all of the possible ways of going about explaining this which depended greatly on just how much of his memory was missing.

"Have I? That can happen sometimes after regeneration, a bit manic at times. Once, I almost tried to strangle my friend Peri right after," Alex said as he examined his face in the mirror and ran his fingers along his side burns.

"You haven't regenerated recently, Doctor," Evander told him, leaning against the bed Alex had just occupied and crossing his arms. "There was an accident. To know just how much exactly is missing, I need you to tell me the last thing that you remember clearly."

"Hmmm, well..." Alex closed his eyes as he concentrated on his memories. "There was a signal on Earth, 2005. Defeated the Nestene Consciousness with a rather helpful young lady. I asked her to come with me and she said, 'no.' Then, I went to watch the JFK assassination... gets a bit fuzzy after that," he said as he scowled in concentration. "What? Why do you feel like a Time Lord? I looked; they're all gone."

Sending his thoughts only to Rose, Evander decided that she needed to know what was happening. ~'Darling, Alex is physically fine, but he seems to have lost a significant amount of his memories.'~

~'What? Oh my god! How much has he forgotten?'~ Rose asked as she began to panic.

Evander watched Alex's eyes grow wider as he felt the bond between all of them. He wasn't hearing their conversation, but he could definitely feel the shifts in their moods.

~'The last he remembers of you is when you said, 'no' and before I... well, WE went back to say that, 'it also travels in time.' So we have a bit of a problem with him not recognizing any of us right now.'~ Evander informed her.

"What is going on? Why can I feel you ... and someone else? Who are you, and who is ...she?" Alex asked incredulously as he began pacing around the medbay. At least that behaviour fit more with his current incarnation than the way he had been behaving which was closer to his leather-clad self.

"The fact that you can feel both of us this way, should make our relationship fairly self explanatory. Now, before we go any further with trying to recover your memories, I think we need to pick up our wife. She is currently wrapping up our rescue of a colony from an invasion of Macra," Evander said brusquely as he left the medbay towards the console room, knowing that Alex would follow at least to find out what was happening on his TARDIS.

"How much am I missing?" Alex asked as he chased Evander down a hallway that he found frighteningly unfamiliar.

"Oh, about seven or eight years, I'd say," Evander told him as they entered the console room.

Alex gaped at him as he followed down the stairs towards the console.

"Oh thank god! I'm so glad you're alright!" Jack said as he ran toward Alex for a hug.

"Stop! Jack, before you say anything more to him, we have a problem. The Doctor has lost several years of his memories. At this point, he does not remember me, our wife or even you. So, I'm going to pick up our lovely wife and get us back into the vortex. Then, you are going to keep yourself busy while we work on unlocking those very important years for him," Evander explained as he piloted the TARDIS to Rose's location. He knew Jack would comply and dismissed the pain that he could see cross his face at being brushed aside so harshly.

As soon as the TARDIS materialized with a thud, the door flew open and Rose ran inside. She immediately threw her arms around Evander's neck and buried her face in the lapels of his jacket. "What are we going to do?" Rose asked with tears pooling in her eyes.

"Don't worry, darling, we CAN fix this, I promise. But before we go, is everything under control with the toxic gases and the Macra?" Evander asked.

"The Shadow Proclamation has been contacted and are on their way. So long as the Macra ship doesn't get their engines back online before they get here, there shouldn't be a problem," Rose replied and wiped away the few tears that had managed to escape.

Alex was watching everyone cautiously. He could feel the TARDIS encouraging him to trust them, and the worry coming from the two that seemed to be his spouses was genuine. He wasn't sure who this Jack person was, but he acted as if they were friends. He would have thought it was all an elaborate trick except that he trusted his TARDIS and she was quite adamant that it was not.

"Excellent. We'll leave them to it, then." Evander moved the TARDIS into the time vortex, where she could float happily for some time. Taking Rose's arm, he suggested, "Why don't we go to the garden? We seem to have our most important conversations there."

"Alright," Alex agreed hesitantly, but allowed Rose to take his hand and he couldn't help but notice how perfectly her hand fit in his. He could feel love and encouragement from them as he allowed himself to be led out of the room.

Jack sighed heavily when they left the console room and decided to spend some time in the library while he waited for them to work out how to solve this new problem. He was glad that Alex was alright, but knew that Rose would be devastated if he couldn't remember their life together. Rubbing a hand down his face, Jack headed off towards the library.

The trio settled together under their favourite tree in the garden room and Rose sent her thanks to the TARDIS when she materialized a full tea service next to them. Rose poured tea for each of them while leaving the explanations to Evander.

Evander clasped his hands together and looked towards the simulated sky as he considered how best to go about this. "You said the last things you remember clearly are Rose refusing to come with you and going to watch the JFK assassination, yes?" he asked finally.

"Yes, that's right. How exactly do you plan to help me from that point? I was by myself," Alex asked as he crossed his arms over his chest. The contrast was strange, the mannerisms seemed almost stuck in the incarnation he remembered, but his appearance and accent matched his current body.

"I know you were. This is going to sound completely mad, but we are both the Doctor. Not from different points in our timeline; there are now two of us. So, up to a certain point, we share the same memories," Evander told him fully expecting the doubt that crossed Alex's face.

"That's... how is that even possible? Although, I suppose it explains how you managed to pilot my TARDIS so well," Alex responded.

"Ours, but let's get back to that part later. I'm sure you can imagine that it is rather complicated," Evander said with a sigh.

"Would it be better to talk about what happened or show him the lost memories?" Rose asked as she sipped her tea. "I knew you went to the JFK thing, the Titanic and Krakatoa, but I never learned the details. I thought it was before you met me."

"You knew about that? How did you find that out?" Evander asked and savoured his own cup of tea while taking a biscuit from the plate as well.

"After you said to forget you and took off, I did some research and found this guy online who had a whole bunch of pictures and stuff. Funny how when I found out about it, you hadn't even done it yet," Rose told them.

Alex looked at her strangely. "What do you mean by that?"

"Umm, well... that explanation is even more confusing than there being two of you. Maybe we should hold back on that for now?" Rose asked, nervously looking at Evander.

"Definitely, let's start with me sharing everything from the point where Rose turned you down," Evander said decisively.

They all closed their eyes as Evander shared the memories with both of them from the moment he closed the door on the Powell Estate. Stomping over to the console, he felt a little morbid while thinking about how that innocent young girl could want to come with a monster like him. He piloted the TARDIS off towards the day John F Kennedy was killed. It was a fixed point, so there wasn't anything that he could do to stop it, but he could satisfy is curiosity and solve the mystery behind it anyway. That particular memory was a bit gruesome, but not particularly exciting and that suited his mood perfectly.

Afterwards, he went to the Titanic. He managed to convince one family to wait for another ship and used one of their tickets to get on board himself. He wasn't sure why he was doing it, this was another fixed point in time. The Titanic HAD to sink and he went and left the TARDIS back on the dock. How exactly did he plan to avoid drowning or freezing to death when the ship went down? It occurred to him as he clung to the side of the iceberg that he didn't seem to care if he survived or not. Of course he was emotionally damaged from the war, but suicidal?

He hopped into one of the rescue boats when they came, thanking his superior biology that he didn't actually freeze to death. When he finally got back to the TARDIS, his thoughts seemed to be spiralling in an even more suicidal direction. After all, he had just killed two entire races. He didn't really deserve to live now, did he? How had he survived the war anyway?

With those dark thoughts, he spun the TARDIS towards Krakatoa in 1883. He couldn't survive a volcano blast; wouldn't even regenerate. Maybe he could get a few people out of there before it happened at the same time. In the end, his instincts for self-preservation won out. The memories blacked out when he crawled back into the TARDIS choking on smoke and ash.

When he regained consciousness, the Doctor lay on his back in the console room for some time. Staring at the large, sloped ceiling, he contemplated exactly where he went wrong. There was a time after the war where he didn't feel like he deserved to die. It was when he was with that girl, Rose. But she had said, 'no.' And he never asked twice. Just then, it occurred to him that he had forgotten to tell her the most important part. He had to go back!

Jumping up from the metal grating on the floor, the Doctor ran to his room to wash all of the volcanic ash off of himself and change back into the clothes he was wearing when he last saw her. Making sure that the TARDIS was aimed for one minute after he left. For once, the old girl agreed wholeheartedly with his plan and landed him exactly where he wanted. He ran for the doors as soon as they materialized. Opening the door quickly and seeing her turn back to him in surprise, he asked Rose his very important question before she could walk further down the alley, "Did I mention, it also travels in time?" The memory faded as Rose ran into the TARDIS without further hesitation.

The trio in the garden opened their eyes at the same time. Rose contemplated just how hurt he had been after she had refused him the first time. She didn't know just how broken he was then; he hadn't told her about the war until their trip to the end of the world.

They had finished their tea, so Rose collected all the cups and placed them back on the tea tray. She then snuggled into Evander's side. He rolled his eyes before allowing her to wrap his arm around her shoulders. He would hug her and dance with her in certain circumstances, but he still didn't enjoy the snuggling. He realized though, that this would be a time when she would normally snuggle with Alex, but couldn't right now. He needed to remedy that.

"Ok, I'm not sure exactly what memory will somehow unlock all of it in your mind, but it would probably be best to go at this chronologically. Hopefully, at some point, your memories will jostle back into place and the rest will come to you," Evander said as he gently stroked Rose's hair.

"And if they don't?" Alex asked skeptically watching the awkward but sincere affection.

"Then we will share all of our memories and that will have to do for now," he replied sharply. "Let's keep going." Turning to Rose, Evander's eyes softened when she looked up at him. "Do you want to share in all of this, darling? You don't have to until I get to the separation."

"If you don't want me to see it, you don't have to show me, love. But I certainly don't mind seeing it all from your perspective," Rose answered with a wink.

"Cheeky," Evander said and tweaked her nose playfully. "I won't keep it from you, if you want to see."

Evander once again began to share his memories with Alex and Rose. Their trip to the end of the world, meeting Charles Dickens and coming home a year late. Memories of a spaceship crashing into Big Ben followed by all the trouble they had with the Slitheen. Things took an even darker turn as he shared the memories of meeting a Dalek in an underground museum in Utah. Their first trip to Satellite Five was actually quite fun by comparison to the trauma that came when she tried to save her father. Then came their trip to the Blitz and meeting Jack. The memories then, became quite light hearted. They went to Woman Wept as well as some other fun places with their new friend. The memories of stopping the last of the Slitheen on Earth were followed by their trip to Kyoto before the really frightening things began.

Not wanting to put off getting through these memories, Evander pushed on through sharing his memories of the Game Station. Watching Rose shot by the Anne-Droid and then, finding out that she was still alive, but trapped on a Dalek ship. He almost started crying just remembering the time that he tricked her into the TARDIS to send her home to safety. Then came his memories of Rose returning as the Bad Wolf, destroying all of the Daleks, and bringing Jack back to life before he took the vortex from her and regenerated.

"Stop! Please, stop for a minute," Rose pleaded. As the Doctors opened their eyes, they found that she was crying. "Oh, Doctor. I never knew how much it hurt you to send me away."

"What?" Alex gasped. "What do you mean, sent YOU away?"

"I'm..." she choked on her tears for a moment before continuing, "I'm Rose."

"But..." he stuttered as he looked at her in confused shock.

"As we said, that part is even more complicated than there being two Doctors," Evander replied and turned to face his wife. He placed his forehead against hers and held her tightly as she wrapped her arms around his neck and sniffled. "It's alright, darling. It's long since over now. Are you sure you want me to share all the memories with you? The pain after Canary Wharf was far worse than that. You don't have to watch."

"No, I want to. If you have to relive all of this anyway, then I want to know too," Rose said as she took a deep settling breath.

"If you're sure, my love," Evander said as he released her from his embrace and looked into her eyes.

Rose nodded and wiped the tears from her face. Alex looked at her curiously through this exchange. How could this woman be Rose Tyler? None of this was making any sense. His own memories hadn't quite unlocked yet, so despite the detailed recollections that he was receiving, Alex didn't feel like he had lived all of this himself. It was obvious from the memories though, if they really were his own memories, that he had fallen in love with Rose. He gave his life to save her when she seemed willing to give her one and only human life for him.

"I don't remember much of that Christmas with the Sycorax, Rose. Perhaps it would be best if you shared this one?" Evander asked.

"Alright, I can do that," Rose replied.

Alex smiled as he felt the lovely golden presence of her mind preparing to share her memories with them both. She began with her memories of his regeneration as he tried to convince her that he was still the Doctor. She shared her fear and uncertainty when things started to go wrong. He crashed the TARDIS and then was unconscious while the earth was invaded. She and Mickey were chased by robotic Santas and attacked by killer Christmas trees.

When people were standing on rooftops and there was a giant spaceship in the sky, she had retreated with the still sleeping Doctor and Mickey into the TARDIS. Rose shared her memories of confronting the Sycorax herself until he awoke and started quoting the Lion King before engaging in a sword fight for the planet. Then he lost his hand and grew a new one in time to win the duel. She continued with the memories of dinner in her mother's flat and their talk under the stars about whether she would keep travelling with him before allowing the memories to fade away.

Alex looked himself over again as they came back to awareness in the garden. Seeing Rose's memory of looking at him from the outside gave him a new perspective on this incarnation. He rather liked it and she seemed to like it from the very beginning as well. He looked over to see her smiling at him and he blushed as he was caught admiring himself.

With a sigh, Evander readied himself for some of both the best and the most difficult memories that he had to share. He showed them the trip to New New York, meeting Queen Victoria and the werewolf, as well as bumping into Sarah Jane while investigating the school infested with Krillitanes. He cringed a bit as he relived the events involving Madame de Pompadour, the Cybermen in the parallel world, and Rose losing her face to the Wire. There were happier memories shared as well, but the most difficult ones were standing out painfully.

Evander continued with the memories of Kroptor and their defeat of the Beast. There were the unusual events surrounding the Absorbaloff, then their trip to the Olympics where a lost Isolus had befriended a lonely little girl. He shared the memories of the shift in their relationship. It had never gone further than a few heated kisses, but it probably would have if not for the storm that broke then. The events of Canary Wharf hit them almost as hard in the memories as they had originally. Rose took in the memories from his perspective as she watched herself falling from the lever towards the Void. Evander allowed his memories to fade when he finally tore himself away from the wall to go back to the TARDIS.

Before they all returned to their awareness of the garden, however, Rose added her own memories from the other side. She beat against the wall in the parallel Torchwood; begging the universe to send her back to her Doctor as tears streamed down her face.

When they opened their eyes this time, they were all crying. Even Alex couldn't keep himself from allowing the tears to fall. Whether he felt like he had lived it or not, the story alone was heartbreaking.

"Time for a break, I think," Rose said, breaking the silence that had fallen over them. "I need a nice hot shower and I'm willing to bet that he could use some time to think about everything we've shared so far," she added with a nod towards Alex.

"You're probably right," Alex agreed as he stood up and stretched muscles that had become stiff from sitting on the ground for the few hours that they had been there. Sharing memories telepathically was fast, but he was getting very detailed recollections of over two years worth of events. So, it would still take quite some time. "I think I'll take a walk."

"I'll be here if either of you need me," Evander said as he pulled a book from his pocket and settled under the tree to read.