Thanks everyone for continuing to read and review! Sorry I never made a comment on the last chapter I was a little busy but here to make up for the uneasy schedule enjoy yourself to a longer than usual chapter! I have 1 more week till winter break gets here yay! Please R&R and enjoy!
"Shut up Beast Boy!" Raven shouted as she flung the green boy out of the window. "I don't care about what you think!" She could hear his screaming as he was tossed out, and felt the gazes of her teammates staring at her, their questioning looks boring into her soul like their visions all had laser beams. Raven grew hot with embarrassment.
"Umm Raven, don't you think that was a little overboard? All he did was say you needed to cheer up…" Robin asked her, his eyes were wide along with the rest of the team's. Raven turned to them and frowned sourly. It wasn't her fault… He should have known better when she was so tense. Her emotions were more fickle than ever and surely Beast Boy noticed that.
Raven hadn't been able to meditate since her encounter with Thanatos. It was beginning to wear out on her, when she tried to meditate all that happened was the same vision as before. Skies of raining blood and fire with the screams of innocents, it was tortuous. Raven no longer screamed and it no longer overwhelmed her. But she always ended up more angry than calm, and she still hated it.
And for some reason Raven felt like she was constantly being watched… By someone dark. No matter what Raven did she couldn't shake the feeling that someone was watching her. All the negative emotions just kept piling up till it was getting harder and harder to control her emotions and powers. Every time she started getting angry or her emotions got too strong something bad would happen and vision would turn into a red haze. She had been researching her experiences and Thanatos in her personal library with no success, the mess of books in her room were evidence of that. Even the few demonic books she owned said nothing, what did anyone know about half-demon princesses?
What was happening to her?
"I'm... I'm so sorry." Was all Raven could say, she phased through the bottom of the floor and left the tower sadly. She wanted things to get back to normal, well normal as in before the past month normal. But it seemed like her demonic side was alive and kicking harder than before. She left the tower as a large black raven and weaved through the skies, trying to clear her unfading thoughts. The cold, biting wind soothed her a little bit. But she couldn't help but worry, what will happen when she turns on her teammates and blows up the whole tower?
She had just landed on a rooftop when she shuddered for an unknown reason when a dark, guttural voice that was, to her surprise, still her voice murmured. "Why didn't you kill the pest when you had the chance?"
"Ahhh!" screamed Beast Boy as he fell off the edge of the tower, but no one attempted to save him. Gee thanks guys. Beast Boy stopped halfway to the ground by transforming into a bird and simply hovered in the air for a moment for flying back up to the tower. However, he stopped when he noticed a large black spirit raven soar out of the tower and head towards the city. Raven? Where are you going?
Raven was suffering, and Beast Boy couldn't help but tell. He recalled Raven's expression before he was blasted out the window, her same emotionless mask was on but it didn't hide her tensed body, nor the cloudiness of her eyes. The clear but emotionless amethyst eyes of Raven had been clouded by exhaustion. And Beast Boy didn't have a clue why.
Beast Boy as continued his flight back up into the tower, he began to wonder if this was a new end of the world... He hoped to death that it was not.
"Friend Beast Boy, you are alright yes?" Starfire immediately asked him when he reentered the room. Beast Boy turned from the hawk he shifted into back into a normal human boy and nodded uncertainly. She ran up to him and gave him a friendly hug while Robin and Cyborg just looked unnerved. Beast Boy could clearly tell it was Raven's reaction that had startled them. Her outburst had been happening since two weeks ago when she first woke up. He had to reassure the team that things were fine, even though they weren't.
"Hey guys, haha I guess Rae woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning." Beast Boy smiled and laughed for a bit. He noticed that they instantly seemed cheerier. Looks like it worked. "So, whats for breakfast? Not meat I hope?" Cyborg shook his head in exasperation. Starfire offered to cook but was immediately shut down by all three of the others.
"I'll cook, and yes BB I am going to cook what I usually do." Cyborg began to head for the kitchen while Beast Boy sighed and gestured for Cyborg to give him some of his tofu stuff. When Cyborg complied Beast Boy made his breakfast and head for his room, the smell of meat would just make him feel queasy. Starfire looked down at having her idea being shot down and Robin was next to her comforting her. Cyborg was going to be busy cooking their meal, so talking to him would be pointless. Besides, Beast Boy just wanted to be alone right now.
He was just passing Raven's room when he noticed her door was open. She must have forgotten to close it, why? Beast Boy entered slowly, knowing that Raven would only get mad at him more but his concern overrode his instinct to flee the room with a tail between his legs. He set his breakfast down on her nightstand and his eyes widened as he beheld the room.
Normally it was nice and orderly, though dark and depressing. While it was still dark and depressing everything was so unlike Raven. Her bed was all rugged and there were small rips and tears in certain parts of the silky cloth sheets. Books littered the floor, flipped open and written in both languages known and unknown to the green changeling. The curtains were closed except for a small tear in one of them. Raven was always fervent about never letting anyone in her room and recently she had actually gotten worse. Now Beast Boy understood why, if the rest of the titans knew how much Raven was suffering she wouldn't be able to show her face.
There was one spot where there was nothing covering it or wrong with it, it must be where she had been trying to meditate. Beast Boy hadn't even known that Raven was suffering this bad, now that he did... He couldn't stop shaking. Dude Raven... Why won't you let us help you with this? You can't do it yourself.
Silently, Beast Boy took the bed sheets and put them back as nicely as he could. Just because he didn't keep his own room clean doesn't mean he didn't know how. He gathered up the books and closed them up neatly, carefully inserting bookmarks found in one of the drawers of her nightstand. After putting the books away he looked at the tear in the curtains and figured he could do nothing about that.
"What... Are... You...Doing...Here?" Came words that flowed with cold anger.
Raven froze. "Who are you!" she snapped aloud. A cruel chuckle sounded in her mind, and Raven no longer needed a explanation.
"I'm you... Raven turned into a raven and took off through the skies. Trying to get her mind off the sound of... Of the demon inside her. "Don't ignore me, I am you after all. Don't be jealous of me, jealous that I am the only side that our daddy actually likes."
I'm not jealous, besides our daddy likes neither of us. We are his tools and nothing more!
"Well at least we are serving our own blood, who likes demons besides other demons anyway. Not even Beast Boy would like you if you embraced your demon side, me." The voice grew more persistent.
I don't have to embrace my demon side, I can try to be human, try to be good.
"But wheres the fun in that? You cannot ignore an entire half of yourself. Many have destroyed themselves that way, you know that." The voice was dark and tempting, appealing to Raven and at the same time disgusting her.
Shut up, shut up shut up! She would never harm her friends or innocents. Why would she kill Beast Boy... Sure he was annoying and noisy but he was his own being, it would be unfair to him and everyone else, including Raven herself.
"Hehe, think about it." The voice fell silent though her evil presence was still very much prominent inside. By meditating Raven could keep her emotions calm enough to lock away the pure-demon inside of her easily enough. But how could she keep a whole half of her away if she couldn't keep her own mind together?
"I'm so sorry Raven, none of us like this, not even Rage." Happy sniffed in a small, low voice.
Raven needed to mediate immediately. So even though it would be a futile pursuit she turned around and landed on a building and taking a moment to calm herself for going back. She hoped that the others had the sense not to disturb her. She couldn't think clearly enough to do anything if something went wrong.
She opened up a portal and quickly stepped through it. When she came out on the other side into her room she narrowed her eyes at the sight of someone in her room. It was Beast Boy. From the looks of it the boy had picked up her room, she saw his bewildered face and felt a twang in her heart.
"See, you are getting more and more wild, and we don't think the little idiot can handle it." Laughing sounded in the corners of her mind and her anger rose. As Raven opened her mouth and moved forward to reveal herself she was surprised by what she said.
"What... Are... You...Doing...Here?" That wasn't what she wanted to say. She tried to move her body but her body stood still, she no longer saw Beast Boy through her eyes but somewhere in her mind. Beast Boy! The chuckling filled her ears, except Beast Boy heard them this time too. He turned, startled and saw Raven look at him with her amethyst eyes.
"Raven, I'm sorry, I noticed you weren't around and you left the door to your room open. I was just-"
"Entering my room, you know Beast Boy, have you ever wondered what it would be like to die?" Raven moved forward, despite trying with all her might to stop herself. Beast Boy's eyes widened and he could tell she wasn't joking this time.
"Rae? Are you alright?" Beast Boy asked as he took a step backwards.
"Yes, just fine..." The demoness sent out a tentacle of dark energy that flashed towards Beast Boy with lightning speed, he wouldn't have the chance to dodge. NO! Raven mentally yelled. The tendril stopped a few inches from Beast Boy's neck. He was breathing heavily, sweat breaking out as he realized he could have died. Raven felt herself regain control and sat on the ground panting from the struggle of control.
"Beast Boy... Please leave..." Raven gasped and avoided his searching gaze. She couldn't face him... Not now.
Beast Boy was looking at her intently and strode forward instead. He crouched down next to her and hugged her gently but with confidence. Raven stiffened but relaxed just as quickly. "Thank you..." she murmured.