Hey everyone how was your new years? here is an extra long chapter for you guys. Mine was alright.. Slightly depressing though. Ah oh well. Please R&R and in your review if you want (Don't have to) share how your new years was.

Enjoy!

Raven looked at her gray hands closed around her tea cup. With a sigh she remembered that same dark moment where Malchior screamed in agony. The demoness closed her eyes and gave another effort to expunge the thought from her mind, without succeeding. The black mist, dying screams, and the thrill of watching blood spill constantly playing in a loop within. She felt disgusted with herself but at the same time wanted to do it again.

After burning the book Raven had been startled, she had picked up the book and tossed it in the trash, and cast a quick spell to clean up the stain in the carpet. It seemed wrong to cover it up though, because nothing could cover the stain over her heart.

Raven got up and left her room, her head still was foggy and meditation didn't work but she pulled her emotions together and hid them beneath an emotionless mask as well as she could.

"I'm going to be leaving for a bit…" Raven started warily, looking at the three other people in the room. Beast Boy was still sleep, since it was still early in the morning. By their startled expressions she could tell she interrupted and wondered what was so important.

"Its most likely about you, see they are already losing their trust in you, only trust in daddy will help you," Her demon-self whispered.

"Trust in what? Destruction?" Raven retorted. But she found herself agreeing with her other side, just slightly. Do they really not like me anymore? I've fought for them and with them for how long?

"Why don't you ask them?"

Raven looked up from her muttering with herself to see their expressions change. Change from startled to confusion when they noticed what seemed like insanity.

So far it seemed to them like there was two sides of Raven, the side of humanity they know and love. Then there was the demonic side that had been suppressed, and now struggled for freedom. There were two Ravens, and their conflict decided the fate of possibly the world when it came to Raven's power.

"Okay," was all that was said. Robin looked at her with equally emotionless eyes. She nodded and phased through the floor. Having tears come when she realized how truly isolated she was being forced to become.

"Crying is such a weak gesture, try Rage instead" The dark voice taunted. Raven grimaced and felt like killing herself; it would solve the problem of her demonic side, and controlling it afterwards. Besides her friendship with the titans were being damaged more than she could surely repair.

She had to figure out some way to wrap her demon under control. The city passed underneath her but the bustling noise of the city wouldn't help her, so she headed for the forest. She had once found a nice little spot near a river while catching some escaped criminals once that she had always thought would be a good place to just relax and think.

She alighted on a rock and listened to the gurgling of the stream. It soothed her slightly and she thought of meditating there. But decided against it since it would be a moot point.

Settling for silence and thought she closed her eyes and relaxed as much as possible. Okay so, how am I supposed to get rid of you? I can't just let you run rampant, you would destroy earth.

"You mean… We would destroy earth," it continued. "Just let me take over, it will make everything easier." The voice was sweet and seductive now, like a snake. No, I won't let you have anything!

"Greetings, my master's little bird," Came a dark voice, it was filled with poisonous nectar. Black eyes that Shone with evil glinted in the rays of the setting sun. The eyes were hidden in the shadows of a particularly dense piece of foliage.

"Thanatos!" Raven spat.

"Ah look, its Thannie!" Raven rolled her eyes at the nickname.

You really nicknamed that sorry excuse for a demon?

"Of course," it murmured innocently, as innocently as a demon could get.

Thanatos just grinned even more and eyed her, stepping forward from the shadows. The area surrounding him just seemed to get brighter as he drew in the darkness.

"Princess," he said with a smirk. The servant gave a mock bow though winced as though he just heard something insulting. "Something tells me you aren't pleased I'm here?" It was definitely more of a statement than a question. But Raven didn't bother to answer either way, just letting her silence speak for her.

"Come on dear, you can speak, I am your family after all," He said reassuringly. She glanced up at the red skinned man. His expression was concerned, any malice or other negative feelings so well hidden either he was a skilled actor or had genuine concern for her. Most likely the former though.

"That is… Unlike those foolish mortals you hang around with. Want to see what they really think about you?" Thanatos asked. Raven looked up at him with an wary expression.

"Sure…" She knew it was most likely a lie what they would be saying, but she would believe anything at this point. She was desperate for answers.

A round orb grew in his hands, it grew to the size of a baseball, then a football, and by the time it finished it was the size of Raven herself. It was lined with green and purple energy and a image appeared within. Curiously, she leaned forward and peered into the large sphere.

Now all four of the other titans were standing in the main room, all of them shared uneasy glances and looks.

"okay so, how we gonna deal with Rae?" Cyborg asked.

"I don't know, friend Raven needs our help. But what can we do?" Starfire said quietly, shocking them with her unusual silence. The depression in the room was tangible.

"I don't know what we can do, but we need to figure it out quickly. Maybe if we find Thanatos we can ask him, I just wish we knew what he was and what's going on." Robin thought aloud. He looked around at his team and sighed at the missing member.

"Then why don't we just ask her?" Beast Boy piped up hopefully, while a glare from Robin and Cyborg shut him up.

"I'm sorry BB, but I don't think that will work. She wouldn't tell us before, why would she tell us now?" Cyborg stopped when he noticed small tears running down Starfire's face. But she was nodding; she no longer felt that they could help. "The only thing she will do is strike out at us, we need to do this ourselves," he continued.

"I agree with Cyborg, we need to find Thanatos and get him to explain himself. Or…" Robin didn't continue, but the rest of them got it. They had seen Terra fall, and had to deal with her afterwards. Even Beast Boy had done what was needed then. If Raven was to do the same she needed to be apprehended before that.

Even if Raven was their friend.

Beast Boy looked down at the conversation. He truly cared about Raven, even loved her… That's right he loved her. And he couldn't have another person he loves destroy themselves like Terra.

"We can save her, we just have to talk to her!" Beast Boy shouted at them angrily. They all stared at him with shocked expressions. But their words didn't change.

"Beast Boy, are you sure we can actually do this? I mean you were nearly killed by Raven yourself." Robin replied bitterly. The boy wonder shook his head slowly and just gave Beast Boy a give-it-up look.

"But she didn't she would never kill us, right..." His voice had become soft by the end. He didn't even bother to raise his gaze to meet any of the others.

"I am going to keep researching about Thanatos. Starfire, I want you to go the library to find out if you can find out anything else about it. Cyborg, I want you to ready the containment room that we used to protect her from Trigon. Beast Boy, I want you to find Raven and bring her back here. I have a bad feeling…" Robin gave the orders and turned and left. But he stopped before leaving the room and whispered so quietly that only those in the room could hear, "We will stop this, and save Raven, we won't give up." They all nodded.

Raven couldn't believe her eyes. They were seriously planning on taking her and locking her up. She didn't want to be locked up, and they no longer trusted her.

"But is that really their fault? Its not as if you trust them," The daemon as she could be considered, asked Raven. "Maybe Thannie is right, we shouldn't be sticking around with them."

The two-three if you counted Raven's demon self. Hadn't heard what Robin said. Raven was shocked and hurt, and even though Beast Boy had stood up for her, he had quickly fallen into doubt. Her hurt and pained expression cause Thanatos to smile. But when Raven looked up his expression changed into the same hurt mask.

"Drop your human façade, it won't work anymore." Daemon said. "You won't fit in, after all… Heroes don't kill." She froze. Malchior… If they found out… "You would be finished,"

"You see Raven, you can only become whole if you fully merge with your other self," Thanatos explained, watching her eyes widen at the thought of being whole and not having to worry about suppressing an entire half of herself.

"So, if I truly embrace my other self, everything will get clearer?" Raven asked the demonic butler. Thanatos nodded.

"Trigon will help you as well. Forget these weak emotions, these feelings that keep hurting you, and just destroy what's hurting you. You own the power to do so or have you forgotten?" Thanatos cooed. His smile, his grin, it seemed just so reassuring. Raven took a few steps towards the demon.

"Raven?" Came a injured voice behind her. She spun around and stared blankly into the forest green eyes of her best friend. Beast Boy stood there looking afraid, not afraid from the demon, or Raven, or even dying. He was afraid of her leaving, and losing to herself.

"Please Raven, don't go, we all love you and we don't want you to go." He took a step forward with a caring gaze.

"I can't Beast Boy, I can't fight his part of me anymore. I'll destroy myself if I do…"

"But your destroying yourself right now," his voice cracked with emotion. Raven felt the full force of his emotions hit her then. Guilt, concern, shame, sadness, pain, and… Love. All of them crashed over her like black waves of sorrow.

"I'm so sorry Beast Boy… But I have to do this…" She unleashed a little of her black energy and picked Beast Boy up, she looked into his eyes. They held no anger, no hatred towards her. They weren't even angry at all. It was full of love and concern.

Come on! Come on! Just do it already, lets see his blood flow!" Daemon continued excitedly. Raven could already taste the blood, hear the sound of him colliding somewhere on the ground lifeless.

You don't deserve to live in ignorant happiness with these mortals, just put your powers to good use and put them down, that way everyone is happy… Or dead." The dark chuckling made Raven grit her teeth. She gained another pair of eyes and they glowed with infernal crimson. They glittered with frigidness.

But Beast Boy could see through her mask of hatred, she was hurting. She must have heard what they had said at the tower… He couldn't even blame her for this. He shut his eyes and said the only thing that could shock Raven the most.

"Then… Can I come with you?"