Friday, December 9, 66 AG,
Again Father called me to him. This occasion, however, was simply in the parlor.
The parlor is a room smaller than that of most of the rooms of the palace, yet it is far from feeling cramped. The walls are long and wide, and the ceiling low. The structures themselves are solid ice, of course, and creates a sort of comforting chill about the room. The furniture is some ice, some of imported wood or glass or cloth. The couches are low above the ground with tall, arching backs, and an elongated coffee table rests just before them On the walls hang marvelous watercolors of the castle's exterior, Kalala's Gardens, and one of our sister tribe down South. Also, there is a sturdy, elegantly carved writing desk along the wall nearest the window overlooking the patio a story below, and an antique piano rests in a corner across the room.
Father was positioned in the armchair beside the entrance to the parlor, and I perched precariously on the edge of the sofa juxtaposed him, still worried as to why he would meet with me personally. Again, it was not because we had not ever been alone together, it was all a matter of timing. For many months he had not met with me alone, for a friend or a council man or a series of guards typically resided.
Anyway, as I had written previously, Father was in the armchair and I on the couch. He appeared to be at ease, relaxed even, not so stiff and official as he is in public. In his hand was a small mug of tea, and on the coffee table was a delicate tea pot and an even daintier tea cup, presumably for me, filled not with tea but with hot chocolate. Oh how Father does know what I like!
His bearing and his offering of hot chocolate both seemed to calm my nerves as well, which was a lovely change of pace, for my nerves seem to always be on end. My attention was suddenly averted when Father leaned forward to set down his miniature mug before leaning back in his seat. "Good morning, Yue. I trust that you slept well?"
"Much better than I have in recent days, thank you," I answered, lifting my hot chocolate from the tray to my lips. Its warmth quickly passed across my tongue, then gradually it spread down to my frozen fingers and toes.
"Ah," he hummed suspiciously. Before he continued, I sneaked a peek at him from over my cup and noticed the mischievous gleam in his eyes. "And I do not suppose that has anything to do with my little arrangement last night?"
I nearly choked on my hot chocolate when he said that, and I had to set down the cup and take a deep breath or two. And perhaps my face drained of its color, or perhaps it shone three shades of red darker, or perhaps some interchanging of those - for I felt my cheeks flood with warmth, a burning warmth, against the stinging chill of the room - and Father's face took on a look as if he was trying not to enjoy my reaction as much as he would have liked to.
"I did not mean to make you uncomfortable, Yue. I apologize for that. But I only meant to lead up to my next question..." He waited for me to urge him on.
"Please, Father. I am well, do continue."
At first he did not seem to believe me, but after I took another promising sip from my cup, he seemed satisfied. Again he leaned back against his headrest and shifted into a place more comfortable. Then he leaned his elbow on the arm of the chair and set his eyes on me, lightly, yet seriously. "Yue, what was the impact of Hahn's first impression on you?"
"Oh!" I exclaimed. This was a subject I had hoped to discuss with someone soon, but...it is a subject one wishes to discuss with her mother. Or a mother-like friend.
"So, I take that you approve of my choice, then?"
"O-oh, o-of course!" My voice shook as I spoke, for his questions had obviously caught me off my guard. Quickly and politely I cleared my throat, then tested my voice again. "I mean to say that Hahn made a lovely first impression. He was kind, polite, inquisitive - but not one to pry - and, of course, very clean in appearance. He was the perfect gentleman."
"Yes, yes, of course. But, ah, I was hoping you would indulge a more /personal/ opinion of him."
"Personal? I do not mean to sound as if I wish to evade the subject, but as we have just said ourselves, this was a /first/ impression. Is it not too soon to discuss devotion whilst I have yet to learn more about him?"
As it had yesterday, my powerful logic seemed to take him aback, yet, unlike previously, he had not the ear for it. "Yue, come now, my dear," he pried with disbelief, "I have seen the way you look at him. Can you tell me you have no feelings for the boy?"
I held in a much needed sigh. "Father, I cannot say I don't have feelings for him, but..."
My father allowed for his sigh to flow past his lips, then he looked at me again. "Yue, I am aware that this is a very early stage in the planning your marriage, and that this marriage is not optional no matter how much either of us wishes otherwise, but if it must be done, I would like to know if this arrangement will work - if I made the right decision. Truly, Yue, I want to see you happy."
This admittance from my father then too me aback. It was not as though I expected him to want me to suffer after marriage, but rather that I did not consider him taking my feelings into account at all. "Father," I said softly, laying my small, delicate hand on his large, strong one, "I understand your feelings, but I need time to sort out mine. Allow me one month. One month to get to know Hahn before I can give you my answer."
Father seemed to contemplate my request. "One month...is a long time, Yue. Much time lost from the planning of your wedding."
"Until the New Year, then." I said this as a question, but it really was more of a statement.
Once again, my position was well thought over before Father finally sighed and acquiesced. "Yes, Yue, you may have until the New Year."
Yes! I wanted to cheer. Not once since the subject of marriage had arisen had I once asked anything of Father; I had always been his perfect little princess, always doing what I was told. And I had not a problem with that. I enjoyed palace life for the most part. Yet I always felt lonely, as I still do. I have Kalala, but she is more of mother or a mentor to me. Maybe, with Hahn, I will have someone closer to my age with whom I may reveal my most inner thoughts. And maybe, one day, he might do the same with me.
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Katalana: Hey everyone! Hope y'all enjoyed this little segement because there are many more to come! I just now finished this one, taking about an hour and a half to do so, but because it's Thanksgiving Break, it's a little easier to find that kind of time. I hope I can get several more chapters in before having to get back out in the world, but unfortunately I can't make any promises. I'll say again, if you have any comments, questions, or concerns about me, the story, or anything else really, just send me a message & I'll get back to you as soon as I can! Thanks!