DISCLAIMER: I do not own this show, the books, or these characters. I only borrow them.
AN: This chapter is dedicated to all those who serve and protect, especially those who have given their lives in that capacity, whether military, police, firefighter, or EMTs.
Chapter 16
Maura grabbed her bag and quickly joined the procession out the doors. She made sure to stick with the Rizzolis even though she had to elbow a few people to do so. As Jane stood in the doorway putting on her hat for the short walk from the door to the car, Dr. Isles asked the parents if they minded if she rode with them. She wasn't going to take no for an answer, but it was only fair to ask.
Jane used all her senses quickly like she normally would at a crime scene. In moments she saw the police outfitted Harley-Davidsons from the BP Special Operations Unit heading the long line of vehicles. Next came a few police cruisers with their blue lights already flashing in their own beat. She watched the six men load the casket in the back of the hearse. She heard a whistle down the street a little ways and knew that some of her colleagues were directing traffic to make sure that the transition from sitting still to moving the long line of cars would go smoothly. She saw the wind ruffle the American and Massachusetts flags that the honor guard was holding. Shifting her eyes left and right, she saw the lines of police officers saluting as their fallen comrade was shut into the back of his ride. She saw the two six-person limousines behind the hearse and then a stretch of vehicles that disappeared around the block. She felt the fire and pain that her wounds were screaming to nerve endings as she started down the few jarring steps to the first vehicle behind the hearse. If she could just treat it like a crime scene. Stay angry and focused on the final solution...but she didn't like the final outcome of this scene.
Jane always thought riding in a limousine was supposed to be kept for joyous and fun-filled occasions. She thought wrong as this was neither. She watched as the pallbearers started loading up in the second one and felt a small laugh bubbling up as she watched Frost being 'nice' and holding the door open for the other five to get in first. She knew better. When he wasn't the one behind the wheel, his weak stomach protested the movements so he always wanted to stay near a window for air and a door for quick exiting if needed. It probably didn't help that he had just helped carry a dead body...her brother; with that her brief amusement was cut off and the laugh seemed to get stuck in her throat and made breathing through her healing lung even more painful. When she looked back toward the vehicle in front of her, she noticed that her mother and father had already scooted in and Maura was just stepping into the back. At least that was a plus. Jane could use something or someone to keep her mind off her brother and her grieving parents.
Granted, the first few minutes after getting in the vehicle and closing the door behind her, Jane's mind was too busy to focus on any emotions as the physical pain was almost too much. Behind the tinted windows and away from prying eyes other than family and friend around her, Jane felt safe enough to lower her walls slightly to not totally try and hide what she was feeling. She rested her head on the back of the seat and closed her eyes. She knew her face was pinched in pain and knew she had to figure out how to deal with it in the drive toward Revere and the nearby Glenwood Cemetery as the day was far from over. She felt delicate hands take hers. At first she thought maybe for comfort, but then she felt two fingers searching for her pulse point. She should have known better where Dr. Isles was concerned...emotional comfort came after physical concerns. But maybe that was better today or Jane thought she might start bawling and she knew that wouldn't help the breathing issue.
Jane felt the car start to move forward, heard the sirens telling cars around them to stay out of their way; those sensations she knew were coming and so did not pull her attention back. She wasn't expecting to hear the sound of Maura moving from the seat beside her, and she SO wasn't expecting the cool air to hit her once covered ankle. Jane wasn't sure what was worse: the slight panic that a bug might be crawling on her leg, the bright light that attacked her eyes when she opened them wide, or the reawakening of pain in her side that she had been trying to close off as she shot forward to bat at her ankle. She momentarily wondered if someone slipped her some pain meds when she wasn't looking because she had to be hallucinating to see her safety cautious friend not in her seat belt and kneeling on the floor of a moving vehicle. Jane wanted to ask 'What the hell?' but she didn't want to bring up the cursing in church incident right then for her mother to berate her for.
Maura cringed in sympathy when Jane shot forward. She tried not to kick herself for forgetting rule number one when treating a live patient...let them know calmly what you are going to do before you touch them. Oh well, she couldn't change that any more than she could change what happened a little over a week ago. She was annoyed to not see the hospital issued compression socks that she was expecting Jane to be wearing to prevent the same type of complication that killed her brother.
"What are you doing?" Jane asked.
"After major surgery you shouldn't sit for long periods of time, but that couldn't be helped today. So I'm making sure there are no set-backs from that. Pulse was a little too fast but not so fast that your tachycardic; that is normal when dealing with stressful situations or when in pain." She bet if she would check her own it would be faster then normal too. "Aristotle believed that the heart was the seat of emotions, and that was why strong emotions cause the heart rate to change." Dr. Isles knew she should have finished explaining what she was doing, but Maura wanted answers more, "Why aren't you wearing the compression socks I know the hospital would have given you?"
"They aren't regulation," there was an underlying tone that seemed to say 'Duh, surprised I knew something you didn't.' Jane should have known that was too good to be true.
"Now...NOW you decided to follow the rules, when it could compromise your health. Plus the regulations stipulate that you can wear partially white socks for medical reasons as long as no white shows above the shoes."
"What did you read and memorize the uniform codes?" Jane could see Maura doing that, so before she could answer she continued, "...never mind, don't answer that."
Maura hated when her emotions started running too hot, and her heart and head started to hurt...she thought that a full blown myocardial infarction or stroke would be less painful. So she did want she always did, put on her doctor's mask and lived in the safe world of facts and figures. "I'm checking to make sure there is no blockage or swelling in your legs as can sometimes be a complication with sitting too long. Ankles aren't warm, no edema, tibialis posterior pulse in both are strong and steady. Any pain in your legs?"
Jane sarcastically chuckled as she raised her right hand to gingerly touch where the bandages on her stomach were, "even if my legs did hurt, I don't think I'd notice with all the other issues." She was getting annoyed at the attention, "Maura, stop. It's fine...I'm fine."
Maura tried to keep her voice down so Jane's parents didn't hear, but her quiet voice was still filled with anger and sadness. She was irate at the situation, but she couldn't rant to a situation...she could to a person. Her words were enunciated well, "I'm NOT going to let that happen again!"
Shit, Jane saw the anger smoldering in Maura's eyes and knew that she was still upset for what she saw as letting Frankie down. Jane thought it was odd seeing passion and fire in such an icy gaze.
They tried to keep their annoyed voices from carrying over to the other two adults farther down the wrap around seat, but it soon became apparent that it didn't work. "Girls!"
Both turned childlike chastised looks over to the older couple. Jane in her deeper voice said, "Sorry, Ma." At the same time Maura said quietly, "Sorry, Mrs. Rizzoli."
"It's Angela, please."
Maura sat back on her ankles and wondered if it might have some day been 'It's Ma.' But not now. "Sorry... Angela."
When Maura turned back to face Jane, they caught each others eyes and each said a truth-filled, "Sorry." Maura noticed her friend still had her hand over one of her bandages. She grabbed her black bag, moved closer to the door, and started to move her arms toward Jane before pulling back thinking better of it. "Do you mind?"
Jane knew it was one of those questions so you felt in control, but there was only one right answer. She pushed herself down the seat a bit so Maura had enough room to get off the floor. Again she found herself being glad for the tinted windows as she untucked the front of her uniform and started to undo the lower buttons on her shirt. She could tell from the look on Maura's face that her friend was not happy with what she saw as the shirt was moved away from the lower bandages. Before she could be chewed out again, by either Maura or her Ma, she grabbed at humorous small talk, "You lock your purse?"
When Maura saw the soiled bandage, she was very glad she thought to pack her bag the night before solely for what Jane might need. She hoped that there would be no real emergencies today as her smaller black Italian leather doctor's bag was not packed for any other situation. She started entering the code to unlock her bag when Jane asked her question. "No, I lock my medical bag. I didn't think I'd have time to get my usual one after church, and I didn't want to carry the unwieldy thing all day. So I had to pack for the basics."
As Maura opened the bag, Jane could see that it was packed more like a first-aid kit than a normal purse. She could see the few personal items in a large side pocket: cell phone, make-up, and a small wallet. The rest of the bag was all health related. Jane saw a blood pressure cuff and stethoscope taking up much of the remaining room, but she also saw what she knew all too well were large sterile bandages, a roll of tape, and a few small packets. "Damn, that has more in it than Ma's one-stop-shop." She didn't think that was possible, but she pointed over to her mother's bulky black bag so Maura could compare for herself.
Maura wanted to ask if Jane was planning on telling anyone that she was bleeding again, but she held her tongue not wanting to start another heated discussion. Plus she was pretty sure she knew the answer anyway.
Most of the bandage just had the normal reddish-clear discharge around the incision site, but Maura also saw some deep red on the bottom of the bandage. She was almost tempted for a moment to point out that the deep red stain was blood...Jane would probably get a kick out of that since she would never say so at a crime scene. Instead, she just held her tongue. Dr. Isles pulled out a package of sterile individually wrapped latex gloves and, almost before Jane could blink, they were out of the package and on Maura's tiny hands. As she peeled away the soiled bandage, Dr. Isles saw the issue right away. There was the start of a scab around the incision site, which was good as to let her know that her friend was healing. However, all the movement caused the bottom part to crack, and she also noticed that the last two sutures, while still holding, were not as tight as they should be which only exacerbated the bleeding from the cracked scab. She grabbed a bottle of water from the bar and wet a sterile gauze pad. She started to dab at the wound to clean it up and then placed a couple large butterfly closures over the bottom of the incision. It might not be the best solution, but, as Jane wasn't bleeding heavily, she let it go as she knew she would have WW3 on her hands if she even hinted that Jane should go get patched up rather than attend the graveside service. Finally she grabbed another sterile bandage to put in place.
Jane was curious. "Why don't you use something to clean it other than water? Ma would always douse our scrapes and cuts with hydrogen peroxide and blow on it 'til it stopped stinging." Thinking of all the scrapes she and Frankie got into, she almost missed Maura's answer.
"In really deep wounds the bubbling can create oxygen gas which could create a gas embolism if it reached the bloodstream."
Jane was sorry she asked. Before she knew it Dr. Isles had taped down the new bandage and determined that the others were okay for now. Jane buttoned up her shirt and tucked it back in as she watched Maura strip off the gloves and throw those and the bandage wrappers in a small trash can that was hiding under the minibar.
Maura turned back toward her friend and tried to hand her the nearly full bottle of water. "You are already losing fluids and it's a hot day out. Drink." She noticed the glare that Jane sent her way, but it didn't faze her anymore...well too much. "Unless you want to pass out at the gravesite." She also then reached in her bag and pulled out a packet of tylenol and passed over the two white capsules to Jane. They were better then nothing, and Maura knew that Jane wouldn't take anything stronger.
Jane grudgingly took the pills and swallowed them down with a large gulp of water to make her point. Granted, that wasn't the best move as she was still having issues with swallowing a lot at once. She really hated sometimes that Maura knew her so well as she knew just what buttons to push to get her to comply. But she would not budge on Maura's next request that she should take off her duty belt as it was pulling and pushing on healing skin and muscles. "No"
"But, Jane..."
"NO!" She let Maura talk her in to finishing off the water, but she would not be swayed on this.
Maura couldn't understand why that was so important to Jane, but she let it go. She had already achieved more than she thought she would be able to get away with as Jane so hated being taken care of. She sat back in the comfortable seat and clasped hands with Jane this time just for the comfort factor...for herself and for Jane. They sat in silence for awhile and looked out the window as they continued north on US-1. Maura noted that at each entrance ramp there was a police vehicle with their lights on, blocking cars from interrupting the line of mourners. She was so engrossed in the fast pace of the world passing her window that she almost missed the quiet, "I miss him," from Jane. She turned back to look at friend, "I know."
Maura got of of the vehicle first, followed by the Rizzolis. She thought it seemed very dichotomous that a resting place for the dead was so full of life: lush green grass, trees in the distance, and some birds singing a hello from those trees. She saw Frank start to come over to help his daughter walk, but Maura shook her head to let him know she had it as she took Jane's arm. However, halfway to their destination she wondered if that was a bad idea as Jane was reluctant to lean much weight on her, and from a combination of the heat and the effort, Maura saw her friend already starting to perspire. She was glad to see the area set-up for them: a couple columns of foldout chairs under a canvas canopy. It sort of reminded Maura of an outdoor wedding scene, and she could see her friends and even Frankie doing that as a gag as she already lived, breathed, and dreamed about the dead. She just wished the occasion was a happy one like that. She wished she'd get a chance at that happy scene at all...but not now.
When the group got to the spot, Frank took the first chair in the right section and Angela slowly sank into the next one. Jane and Maura were not as graceful though as halfway through Maura trying to help make sure Jane lowered gently to the seat beside her mother, gravity had another idea and pulled at the pair. Jane ended up fully on her seat, but Maura was only half on the one to her right. The friends glanced at each other with small half grins even though in another circumstance that little incident would have caused then to laugh so hard they might 'split a gut.' Probably better for all though, as in Jane's case that seemed possible with surgical sutures and staples holding her together in places. Rather than move from the spot, Maura scooted back onto the seat and took Jane's hand before looking forward to the casket that the pallbearers had put in place moments ago.
Once everyone was gathered under the tarp or standing behind it, a man in pastoral robes came forward to speak a few words. Maura knew he was the Boston Police Department's 'on-call' Catholic priest, Father Daniel Brophy. He worked with the the BPD if they needed advice on a case with religious aspects, or if the victims could use his calming presence and prayers. He didn't say much as they had just come from a service, but Maura did catch the phrase, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called children of God." It was situations like this and scientific rationale that had destroyed any childhood belief in an omnipotent God. For awhile she debated with the nuns and priest at the elementary school that she went to before she went to boarding school, but their answers never made sense; plus, if there was a God, then she shouldn't have the job she did, but she did, and she saw all the evils that man would do to another without any divine intervention.
As the priest started walking away, Maura noticed seven men with rifles march forward. They stopped a few yards to her right, facing the casket and away from the people gathered. She knew what was coming as she read about it when doing research a few days earlier. Granted, she wondered about the logistics of gun fire to honor a police officer...shot by a gun. She knew the steps of a three-volley salute so she thought she knew what to expect. She watched as they raised the weapons to their shoulders before firing, but she could not have expected how loud it would really be. Even though she knew it was coming, she still jumped. The sound almost pulled her back to that horrible day, but the strong tone telling the firing squad to ready, aim, and fire again overrode the sound in her memory as the gunmen complained that the evidence lockers were empty. Glancing to her left, Maura was pretty sure that Jane was dealing with similar thoughts as her hand was clenched tight at her side. She pried open her friend's fingers to grasp hands trying to keep each other grounded. At the third and final shot, the two seemed to be in a contest to cut off the other's blood circulation in their hands. Finally the sounds were over even though the smoke still lingered. Maura watched at the men lowered their weapons and marched away to go back to standing near the end of those gathered.
When a bugler came forward to play Taps, two officers also came forward to remove the flag from the casket and start folding it with military precision. Once folded into a triangle, one man stepped toward the grieving family with it.
Jane watched out of the corner of her eyes as the folded flag was given to her mother. She quickly had to move her gaze away from the scene as she saw tears stream down her mother's face even faster as she clutched at the poor substitution for holding her youngest son.
And then, all too soon, Maura learned why Jane was adamant about keeping the belt with her radio on as all those around her heard the 911 dispatcher. "All units stand by to copy, last call for Officer Frank Rizzoli Jr., badge number Alpha 286. Alpha-2-8-6..."
Maura had heard Frankie called over the radio once. He said he needed to double check that the evidence was logged in correctly so that he could sneak down and say hi. It wasn't the first time, nor would it be the last time he came down to chat under some pretext. She didn't remember when, but she and Frankie had started to develop an odd code of sorts so if anyone would walk in on them talking they wouldn't understand what the topic was. "According to medical records, she had heart palpitations and difficulty breathing on Saturday," Maura grinned as Frankie's eyes sparkled in mischief as he replied, "To bad it came to an end, or could have done more tests to determine the best course of action." She laughed wishing their weekend hadn't come to an end either; that was okay humor in the morgue as it was about life, and not about one of the corpses that had come through her doors. He put his index finger on her mouth when the call came in to get her to be quiet as he copied that he was on his way. But before he could leave she nipped at the finger and they shared a smile as he all but ran out the door. She wished he could answer now...
"...Alpha-2-8-6..."
Jane had heard her brother called over the radio once for backup on his beat. She joked that the bosses were calling so he better run. Of course Lieutenant Cavanaugh HAD to come out right then and bellow for her. Frankie laughed that the boss was calling and that she better run, before he stepped into the elevator. She stuck her tongue out but he was already out of view. Come on Frankie, the bosses were calling...
"...Alpha-2-8-6..."
Frankie's parents had heard their son being called over the radio once. They were in town as Jane was still in the hospital with so many bandages on her hands that they couldn't hold them. The parents needed a breather and their on-call son could use a meal, so they met up at Murray's. Frankie was called in to go take statements at a nearby robbery. He chuckled as he got up to leave as Pop mentioned they would take care of everything and was already reaching over to grab the uneaten half of his son's sandwich. He shook his head as he left because, even though his Ma complained about Pop taking his food, she was already reaching over and pilfering the fries. They wished he could respond to the call now...
"All units be advised that Alpha-2-8-6 is out of service. His shift is over. He is going home. Rest in Peace, Sir."
After the last radio call, not much broke through the silence other than birds singing and the shuffle of feet as most of the people gathered started to walk back to their vehicles. All too soon there were only six people left near the casket. The parents walked up and said a quiet good-bye before stepping out of the way so Jane could step forward and place a carnation on the wooden box. After she was done saying her good-byes, her father started to leave Angela's side to help his daughter, but her partner stepped up. So the two pairs, Frank and Angela and Jane and Frost, began the sorrowful trip back to the car as they walked away from their beloved family member.
A few steps later, Jane realized that Maura was still standing in the same spot rather than joining the procession away. "You coming, Maura?"
"In a minute, just wanted to say something."
Jane assumed that Dr. Isles still blamed herself for what happened and so needed to say, 'I'm sorry.' She hoped that her friend would be able to heal soon, just like her entire family needed to do now.
Maura stepped up to the casket, and ran her hand over the smoothed, polished, cherry wood. She was debating whether to say sorry or not, but not for the reasons Jane assumed. Instead she said, "I love you." A self-loathing chuckle spilled from her mouth as she mused that maybe everyone was right with the term 'Queen of the Dead.' It seemed ironic that she finally understood the concept of the word. She feared saying it to a living Frankie as she didn't want to throw it around like so many seem to do before they really were sure, but here she stood telling it to a dead man. She always did bear her soul better to the dead.
Maura closed her eyes and listened to the sounds that Frankie would be able to hear from here if his brain could still process signals. Lovely bird songs, the sound of the wind rustling the trees in the distance, and her words that he had so longed to hear. She took a deep breath, and then turned around to walk away from where her heart was going to be buried. She was surprised to see Korsak standing at the back of the row of chairs as she thought she was alone, "You didn't have to wait for me."
"I wasn't...okay, I felt left out. All the other guys have a beautiful lady on their arm," he said taking hers. "You won't tell Rizzoli I said that will ya?" He watched her slight smile brighten a bit.
She heard herself chuckle. "Your secret safe with me," as her's was with him.
AN: I hope I did justice to what would go on at a police funeral, however if you have been to one and know any glaring issues with the order or anything please let me know so I can edit this or the last chapter. I tried to research as much as possible but also mixed in with a bit of artistic license. For the last radio call I used for Frankie, I used District 1 (code Alpha), or downtown area, which I assumed as he was seen at headquarters often-like the code for Jane is Victor because homicide. If anyone knows differently how the call would be placed in the Boston area please let me know. Thanks.