I knew I was scaring everyone with my hysterics but I didn't care. I wanted my name. I never thought I would want anything so badly.
"Calm down" I heard someone in the hut say. It didn't matter who it was, this was a problem, a big problem and I was right to be upset.
I then made a list of all the names I had ever heard and muttered them to myself.
"Hiccup, Astrid, Toothless, Gothi, Stormfly, ...". That couldn't be it! What about other names that weren't mine. Names of friends, pets, or towns.
"Ok don't worry about your name for now. Where are you from?" Hiccup said trying to defuse the situation. Where was I from? I thought back again but I could only get as far a the crate in the sea.
"... or the names of your parents" Hiccup continued.
"Parents. Do I have parents?" I asked desperately wanting them to answer.
I just received a bunch of confused stares.
"I was on a crate in the ocean ... that means I must have been on a ship and the ship ... was sunk" Dread consumed my body as I contemplated if my parents were on that ship. "Did you see anyone else in the ocean?" I asked Hiccup.
"No it was just you. Me and Toothless got a good look at the area and you were the only thing in the sea." He said. He started again in a tone that gave away that he was thinking hard about this "Besides, from the state of you when we found you you had be out there for days and you barely survived. If anyone else was out their it would be very likely they would be ...". He stopped himself from finishing what he was saying but I knew what he meant.
"... dead." I finished for him.
"Calm down" said Astrid in a harsh tone of voice "You might not even have any parents."
Hiccup shot her a look and she shrugged her shoulders.
"What if your right." I answered to both of their amazement "If I have no parents then no one is looking for me ..." I took a second to contemplate what that meant "... and if I can't remember were home is ... there is no way I can ever find my way back". I just sat there on the bed completely defeated.
"Alright that's it!" proclaimed Astrid from the corner of the hut "I'm not buying your little act so how about this; You tell us were to ship you off too and I won't hit you really, really, hard"
Gothi and Hiccup were waving her off me but she ignored them both. I just sat their in my grief on the bed.
"Hey I asked you ..." at that moment Astrid grabbed my arm and I lashed out like a wounded animal. I charged her and slammed her against a shelf along the back wall. I looked into her eye's with pure hatred pouring from me to her. The look in her eyes wasn't fear or anger, it was of utter surprise. My victory was short lived as my grief claimed me again and my anger melted. I then broke down crying and I realized I was now hugging Astrid. I just stood there for what seemed like hours sobbing into the shoulder of the dragon girl. Astrid was frozen stiffer than a statue. I expected her to shove me back and hit me a long time ago but she just stood there petrified.
"Hiccup, what do I do?" I heard Astrid say in a hushed tone.
"Wha' ... Jus' ... What do you mean?" Hiccup whispered back.
"I'm no good with this trust and feelings stuff. How do I get her to stop crying?" She whispered back.
"Just console her." he concluded.
"How do I do that?!" She snapped back at him.
Hiccup just gave up and walked up to us both. He put his hand on my back and said "Its going to be okay um ... you. I promise we are going to figure this out, okay?".
I released Astrid and nodded to him. I when back to the bed all cried out when Gothi had started scratching her staff in a dirt patch in the hut. Hiccup looked over and stared into the dirt with a quizzical look on his face.
He then looked up and translated "Gothi says it is possible for someone to lose their memory if you have been very close to death." Hiccup then shot a look at Astrid and she shrugged and said "What?! I can believe that, she already convinced me."
"Will it ever come back?" I asked quietly. The old woman's face changed to a somber expression and she shook her head. The hut was quiet for a long time and I just looked at the ground.
After a few minutes Astrid spoke up and said "Well you could always look at the bright side". I looked up and saw that everyone was looking at Astrid as well.
Astrid was now a little nervous with everyone looking at her but she continued "I mean umm ... your ... before life might not have been ... all that great. Sooo ... now you can start a new life that could be better."
"Your right." I said and Hiccup turned around an looked at me with a shocked expression. "There's no point to being sad about losing what I don't even know I had in the first place" I concluded. I wiped what tears I had on may face away and turned to Gothi. "Am I okay to leave physically?"
The woman nodded with the somber expression still on her face.
"Well didn't the chief tell you to take me to the great hall after this?" I asked Hiccup and Astrid. They were both a little awkward around me but they eventually exited the door to the hut.
Astrid, Hiccup, and I were all standing on Gothi's porch when Hiccup stated "You know we don't have to head to the great hall right now. If you need a minute to collect your thoughts we can wait."
"Thanks I could use a minute." I said.
There was and awkward silence and then Toothless groaned obviously wanting to start flying. The sun was setting and it was almost ready to become night.
"He's actually pretty amazing when he's not pinning me to the ground" I commented to Hiccup.
"Ya he is." he paused and looked a me and then said "Here give me your hand". I was shocked by this but he just grabbed it and started pulling me closer to Toothless.
"Wha' ..." I started and then Hiccup interrupted me.
"It's alright. I told you before he wont hurt you." he said as he placed my hand near the dragons snout. Toothless looked up at my hand for a bit and then moved into my hand, rubbing against it. I smiled and started to pet him. There was a kind of squawk from behind me. I turned around and saw Stormfly looking at Astrid. Astrid looked back at her dragon and gave a small nod. Stormfly walked across the porch and started sniffing me. I slowly put a hand close to the blue dragons snout. It started to back away so I stopped moving my hand. The dragon then moved closer to my hand and eventually rubbed up against it.
"Wow. You learn fast." Hiccup commented.
I then stopped petting Toothless and Stormfly. Then Stormfly waddled back to Astrid with a few excited squawks.
"Okay lets go." I said now happy.
Astrid got on Stormfly and took off without a word.
Hiccup then laughed and said "I think she is still in shock that you hugged her."
I blushed a little embarrassed that he brought that up.
He then changed his tone and said "Hey can you do something for me?".
"Umm maybe" I replied as he was getting up on Toothless.
"When we get to the great hall my fathers probably going to ask you to tell him about what you were doing when you woke up."
"And?" I prompted.
"And could you maybe leave out the part about you pinning me against a wall?"
I laughed at him.
"But the whole kidnapping part you are okay with me telling?" I jested, still laughing at him.
"Uh ... actually could you leave that part out as well?" he said lifting me into the saddle.
"Tell you what ..." I said calming down "... if i'm gonna be here until I find out where i'm from I better start thinking of my own reputation. If you and Astrid don't tell anyone about how I cried in her arms I will leave out the kidnapping and the beating."
Hiccup quickly accepted "Deal. I don't think I will even need to talk to Astrid. I don't think she would want to tell the story of the Fearless Astrid Hofferson frozen in fear of a crying girl."
After the deal was struck we took off and flew towards the great hall. We landed next to Stormfly and Astrid asked "What took you so long?"
"We were just talking some more." Hiccup said cautiously. I could tell that Astrid hated secrets being kept from her. As a result Hiccup shivered in fear as he walked past her into the great hall. All three of us walked down the long hall and to a table near the back where the chief sat.