Chapter Three :)
I think I should apologize for not updating quickly. Or something like that XD
Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I mean, the more that I write, the more that I keep on thinking that the story is turning into a boring one :(
Well, please leave a review and tell me what you think about this chapter. I REALLY NEED THEM. I'M BEGGING.
Thank you! :D
Flashback:
"None of your business," he said as he stood up. "I'm tired. I'm going home."
Killua picked his bag and walked straight to the direction of the door, to where you're standing. But he only passed by you, as if you didn't show up at his classroom at all. As if you weren't there.
None …. None of my business?
You stood there, dumbfounded. You can't even think straight. You didn't even have the courage to look and follow Killua's back. You don't want to see him leaving you there when that is all that he does to you everytime. Shouldn't you be used to it by now?
Why is there a girl on top of him? And how come he can say that it's none of your business? You're his girlfriend, right? Of course, every little thing about him is your business. Because it's like you're his other half.
But that's not how it looks like to him. You wonder, what does he think of you?
You were left there, standing. This feeling …. You're so close to crying. Why does he have to be like this? Is he going to treat you like this forever? Is Masako and Emiko right? That he's only playing with you? But the question in your head is: why would he bother?
No …
"Tch," you heard the girl Killua called "Hina" said. "Hey, you. Why don't you break up with Killua?" she glanced at your face then her eyes roamed to your whole body. "With an appearance like that, hmn," she smirked. "Shameless. I'll say it, but Killua thinks nothing of you. You might call yourself his 'girlfriend', but to him, you're nothing more than just one of the girls swooning around him. If you are really desperate to get his attention, might as well walk naked around the corridors. You'll definitely get his attention by that," she laughed.
Wow. That was quite some … speech. But you couldn't care less. You couldn't think of anything to answer her because your mind is somewhere far.
Your head is filled with the scene just a moment ago. What were they doing there on the floor? Why was she on top of him? Were they kissing? What? What was it? All of the possible things that you can think of have crossed your mind, but something is just not right. This is not right.
"Hey," Hina called your attention when she noticed you spacing out. When you glanced at her, she was glaring at you. "Break up with Killua. You know where your place is supposed to be, right? The gap between you and Killua is heaven and hell. You don't fit with him at all."
Heaven and hell, huh?
Hina picked her bag from one of the chairs and left you there, all alone by the door.
Just when she was gone, all of the things that she said sink in your head. All of those nasty things that she said to you are echoing inside your head. You couldn't shake it off. You want to forget about all of it, whatever the meaning of all of those things, but you can't.
Simply because all of it is true.
I don't fit Killua at all.
You suddenly realize something.
All of it might be true, but of course, it was Killua's decision to make you his girlfriend.
But was it really?
It just doesn't feel right, to the way he's treating you. If he made you his girlfriend, why treat you so cold like this? And he didn't even explain anything about what just happened earlier.
Now you ask yourself: What does he really thinks of you? Does he see you as a woman? His woman at that? Or does he see you as just one of those girls who admire him for his good looks?
That idiot.
You run as fast as your feet could. You were thinking that he hasn't gone far yet, so he may still be around. But the moment you walk outside the building of the school, that was when you realized that it was raining. Hard.
The rain is pouring hard, that's why you were already drenched even when you only took a step outside the building. But you don't care. You need to find him.
You want to know what he's thinking. There should be a limit to this, to his attitude towards you. You want to confront him. You don't care what happens anymore. It's not that you're at your limit. You can still take whatever he throws at you, or anyone like Hina throws at you. But that's just it! You don't know why you're acting this way.
Could there be a chance that what Hina said hit your head hard that it finally realize how cruel Killua acts towards you?
"Killua-kun! I thought you already went home! I was worried since I know you don't have an umbrella with you," that voice and the name that that voice just called …
No way.
You looked at to where that voice came from, and you saw Hina and Killua, just on the other end of the front building of the school. Killua is just standing there, as if waiting for someone and Hina is in front of him, pulling out an umbrella from her bag.
You couldn't move an inch from where you're standing, even though you know how perfectly cold the rain is. You are soaking wet already and is very cold from the rain. You want to move your body, to take shelter inside but your whole body seems to be numb.
"Wanna go home with me?" Hina smiled at Killua and offered him the umbrella.
Killua just looked at her. "Yeah, sure. But .. ." Killua didn't finish his sentence. He hesitated for a second, but he took the umbrella from Hina's hand.
"Great!" Hina clung her arm around Killua's and smiled the sweetest at him.
Looking at her when she's like that, it doesn't feel like she's someone who would say something terrible and harsh words to someone like you.
And looking at them from here, they look just like a couple.
A couple …
"Killua-kun!" Without thinking, you suddenly shouted his name.
Killua and Hina looked at your direction. Killua didn't look surprised when he saw you there, standing all wet, but Hina was. And she glared at you. She mouthed, "You're dead."
"Let's go home together, Killua-kun," that was the only thing you can think of to say because at the moment, all you can think of is how cold the rain that was pouring to your whole body. Finally, you took shelter and walked towards them. You were shivering as you took each step forward them.
"You don't have an umbrella. I don't want to get wet," Killua answered. You just saw Hina smirked beside him.
"But why are you going home with her? And what were you two doing back at the classroom?" You're desperate for anything. Any answer, you need them.
"Didn't I tell you that it's none of your business?"
Until when will he treat you like this? Can you still take anything that he'll throw at you? Maybe something worse than this?
"Killua, you idiot," you only want him to treat you more like a person because he doesn't seem to treat you like one. You just want him to share even his little thoughts to you. Not like this. This is more painful than all of those truthful words. "Have you even thought about accepting me as your girlfriend? If you think I'm not good enough for you, why did you still have to accept my confession? You insensitive jerk!"
As soon as you said that, you left him with Hina there. You ran away from them, towards the cold rain. With you in the rain, no one around you will notice the tears. The tears are mixing up in the rain, and that's the good thing about it.
He didn't even follow.
Realizing that now, more sobs came out of your mouth. You stopped running when you almost trip because of the wet ground.
Is this the end? Is this really all of it? You and Killua had the never have the time to be together alone and be all intimate with each other. And now the end has come. You didn't even express to him how much you love him. And you never heard him say that he likes you too. How can this relationship be enjoyable? Being in love, you thought everything is supposed to be happy. But pain is always right there, huh?
"How can you be so stupid? Running away like that and leaving me."
That voice. No .. . You turn back to look at the person who spoke. It's Killua. You suddenly stopped crying and just stared at his face.
Hmm.
You measured everything. The Killua in front of you is drenching wet. The Killua you know would never run after someone like yourself and to think that it's raining very hard. And secondly, Killua doesn't have any interest in you, right? So why would he follow you? And also, he doesn't want to get wet, he just said that. And Hina has an umbrella with her, so he might have gone home with her already.
I'm just imagining this due to so much desperation, I guess.
You just stared at the imaginary Killua in front of you and sighed.
"Right," you whispered to yourself. You want to think that there is really someone in front of you and that someone is Killua, but it's just too good to be true. Killua would never follow you like this. He's too mighty himself.
You turned your face back to the road where you were interrupted walking and resumed your steps.
Now that everything has come to this, you realized, you were wrong. What you did was definitely wrong.
I should apologize tomorrow.
Yes. You called him idiot and insensitive jerk. You love him, right? So maybe a little more patience? Besides, you worked too hard to be noticed by him. And when you confessed, he instantly said yes to you and he became your boyfriend. That was his decision. He gave you a chance. And of course, you wouldn't want to waste that chance right?
I really like him.
Someone from the back grabbed your arm. "Sometimes, you're hard to deal with, you know?"
Your eyes widen when you recognized that voice. That wasn't Killua, right? That voice that just spoke and this hand that is holding your arm, it's not him, right?
You turn you face and all of it is true. That's right. Killua is standing behind you and is the one who's holding your arm.
"Ki-Killua-kun?" You mumbled, unable to believe what you're seeing.
The corner of his mouth shifted the slightest.
"Yes?" When you didn't answer, he spoke again. "Let's go home together. This is what you want, right?" His grip moved to your hand and he squeezed it. "You're cold."
His hand is cold too, or maybe it was just because cold rain pouring.
He walked a step forward to your side. "Well, I'll apologize about Hina. She was reaching for the window when she trip and fell on top of me. So I'm sorry," he said.
Is this really happening? Killua the guy who you thought would never ever follow in this cold rain, is here in front of you? Or maybe the cold rain influenced your mind and you are just hallucinating?
"Hey, at least say something. I just apologize, didn't you hear?" he said, impatient. Was it just you or his cheeks are a bit red?
Oh, well maybe it was just because of the cold rain.
But in this current situation that you're in, you couldn't believe that this is actually happening. Killua followed you and he even apologized about what happened and even explain why they were in that kind of position. Isn't this great?
So, can I get my hopes raise even the littlest?
You squeezed back Killua's hand. "Y-Yes." Thank you.
At least now you kind of have the idea of what he thinks about you. He appreciates you, even when he acts so cold all the time at you. And even when he only say insensitive things and acts like he doesn't care about you, he gives value to your presence.
Even when he doesn't seem like it, he does care a lot. He's just not very good in showing it.
"NO. HE'S NOT AROUND. SENSEI SAID HE CAUGHT A COLD."
"Huh? Really?" You were surprised by Jun's answer when you asked him where Killua is.
"Yes, yes. Now move. You're in the way," Jun said.
You frowned. Jun's bitter personality is more severe than Killua's.
"Thank you, Jun-kun," you smiled as an answer and walked out of his way, since he said that you're blocking his path. You went back to your classroom. It's the second period and everyone is changing classrooms and since you wanted to see Killua, you dropped by his class only to be informed that he isn't around and has a cold.
"Name, we're going to be late," Emiko called you. She and Masako are already walking towards the door.
"Yeah," you muttered to yourself.
This is bad. Because of you, Killua has a cold right now. He has a surprisingly weak body when you yourself didn't even catch a cold. Yesterday, it was the day that you thought everything was over between you and him. But you thought of surviving the relationship and never in your wildest dreams had you imagined that Killua would actually follow you after you said such harsh things to him.
He does value me, somehow.
After he followed you and apologized to you, the two of you actually went home together under the rain. It could have been more romantic if only it wasn't freezing. You weren't able to say anything to him, or even also apologize to him because you were so cold and you were shivering. The only thing warm is Killua's hand holding yours and the loud beat of your heart that you thought was rather warm inside.
If he does those kinds of things to you, it will be hard not to get your hopes high, right? Thinking all the time that he doesn't care about you and that he thinks nothing of you and suddenly he would apologize and would say things that you never thought that he would say to you, of course your hopes will get high. For someone like you dealing with this kind of unrequited love, it is difficult.
You pressed the doorbell to the address of the house that Kazuki gave to you.
"This is his place. He used to crash in Jun's flat because he's always alone, but I'm pretty sure that since he has a cold, he's in his house," Kazuki said, laughing as he write the address of Killua's house.
Actually, in the three of them — Killua, Kazuki and Jun — Kazuki is the easiest to approach since he's friendly and does talk a lot. While Jun is always rude and is cold towards everyone — he is so like Killua.
They are a weird group of people. I wonder how they even became friends.
It would be better to understand if Killua and Jun get along with each other fine, but how about Kazuki? How can he handle those kinds of people?
You pressed the doorbell again when no one from inside answered or even came out.
It's currently lunch break, and since you were worried about him, you asked Kazuki for his address and rushed over to his house. But it seems that no one is around.
As you pressed the doorbell again, you noticed that the gate was not locked. It's open.
Careless.
You opened the gate and entered, walking straight to the door. When you were in front of the door, you knocked three times. Still, no one came to attend the door or even answer.
You knocked again and after knocking, you tried the doorknob. You turned it and it clicked and the door opened.
What? Is no one around? Why is everything unlocked?
After debating with yourself, you decided to come and check the inside of the house and to see if anyone is at home.
Where is Killua? I thought he was sick.
Could he have gone outside to buy something? It's lunchtime, after all. Where are his parents? Does he really live alone by himself?
"Hello? Is anybody home?" You called as you entered the house, looking around. It's dark inside.
"Killua-kun? I-It's me, Name. Are you here?" As you removed your shoes, you searched the inside of the house. Even if it's dark inside, you can still see clothes scattered around the floor.
How can he be so unclean?
That means that he's actually alone, right? Because if not, someone could've picked those clothes and at least put them in the laundry.
"Killua-kun, I'm going in, okay?" You said out loud, even if you're not sure if he's inside the house or not.
On your way to the living room, you picked up the clothes that were scattered. As you took the clothes in your hand, you noticed something. These clothes … These are Killua's uniform. This was from yesterday? Well, some part of it is still wet.
So he really is alone. That confirmed it.
Out of nowhere, you heard someone coughed.
Killua?
You rushed to where it came from, and you found yourself in front of a closed door. Is Killua the one who just coughed? Is he inside this room? Only one way to find out.
The door creaked as you slowly opened it. And you guessed right. Killua was inside, lying on the bed, coughing his lungs out.
"Ki-Killua-kun!" you dashed to his side, feeling his forehead.
He's burning. Like seriously, he's hot. He has a fever.
"Killua," you sighed. How can he be so careless? And weak.
You went to the kitchen to look for a medicine, anything that'll help make his high temperature go down.
You searched every cupboard. But there's no medicine. And also there are only instant food inside the fridge and cupboards.
What a life.
You took a towel and water and brought it to his room. Your little brother is often sick when he was still small, that's why in things like this, it's easy for you to deal with it. Panicking over a person with a high fever is not a very good thing to do.
You soaked the towel in the cool water and dabbed it over his body. You need to treat his fever, so the cool water will help to cool his hot skin out. You wipe every inch of his skin with the cool towel. Of course, you took off his clothes. It was easy since he was wearing pyjamas. Unbuttoning his top was the easy part. Well, as for the lower part …
No. I'm not going to take it off.
As you apply the cool towel to Killua's body, you noticed how he has this nice and amazing body.
Look at those muscles. I wanna touch it.
Your face turned bright red. This is not the time for things like this!
You looked away as you dab and dab every part of his skin until he cooled down by evaporation. It's a good thing that he's unconscious. It would have been awkward if he's awake and you took his clothes off and wiped a cool towel over his skin.
When you finished, you left the towel on his forehead to soothe him. But medicine would've been also a big help in this kind of situation. If only he has one.
Jeez. How can he live like this? There's nothing good to cook in the kitchen, and the house is a mess.
You noticed all this when you turned on the light in the living room and in the kitchen. And inside his bedroom, more of Killua's clothes were scattered on the floor. You can't identify which is the dirty one and which is the clean one.
Such a pig.
So you've decided. I'll clean this place up.
And that's exactly what you did. You cleaned the whole place up. All of his clothes, dirty or not, you put them in the laundry and washed them. You vacuumed the living room and washed the dishes in the kitchen. You also clean his bedroom and picked out some of his clothes in his closet for him to change in. And after cleaning up, you went out to buy some medicine, fruits and some real food to cook.
When you came back, you went straight to his bedroom to check on him.
Ah. He's still asleep.
You dipped the towel in the cool water and placed it on his forehead again.
This isn't the first time you've been this close to Killua, but this is the first time that you felt this close to him. And all alone.
You touched his cheek and caressed it. Even if it's still hot, it feels like its sending millions of electricity inside your body. And that was just by touching his cheek.
"A-Alluka? Don't leave m-me …" Killua mumbled in his sleep.
A-A-A-Alluka?
The hell? What was that? Who is … A-Alluka? Your heart felt like it was scattered in thousands of little pieces in the ground, pounding so hard that it hurts.