Rather long, I hope you won't mind.

Honeymoon Trip

It was Monday morning and they were in the Jeep, heading south for the turning toward Cornwall. Kate had an elbow on the console, leaning close, the two women were continually stealing glances at one another. Actually, Caroline stole glances as her driving allowed, Kate's eyes seldom left Caroline's profile.

Marveling again, "William and Roxy were so good in the revue last night. I had no idea William had quite that much talent. I think I underutilized him in choir last year." At Caroline's answering smile, "Too bad he and Roxy weren't in any numbers together."

"Yes. They were both quite good." After a moment, "Her parents are lovely too. William was right, very warm outgoing people. I'm glad we had a chance to have dinner with them."

Turned in her seat and pushing Caroline's hair behind her ear for a better view of the lovely cinnamon spotted neck, "And the very best thing about last night…" surveying the prospect before her as her mind drifted back.

A buzz runs through Caroline at the expression on Kate's face, eyes somewhere south of her ear, "Yes?"

Refocusing on conversation, "The best thing about last night is the effect that an evening of music always has on you."

Wide eyed, "I don't know what you mean."

Insinuatingly, "Yes you dooo. Music always makes you very romantic." Kate's voice grew softer, recalling the night before, "Rhythmically romantic, audibly romantic." Tracing the curves of Caroline's ear with a forefinger, "Singing into my ear when you're… God, Caroline." Leaning in, the backs of her fingers sweeping away blonde hair "Sing to me now Caroline, and I'll…"

Swallowing hard, Caroline gently but firmly elbows Kate off the console, she's far too close to concentrate properly on driving. Her tone admonishing, "K-aa-te. Kate, please I'm driving. Please behave, we've a long drive to reach Penzance." Glancing at a sulky Kate who is eyeing her surreptitiously to see the effect this has. In an effort to distract, "Look, we're entering the AONB!"

Arms crossed but leaning in again, saying breathily, "I know the area of outstanding natural beauty I'd like to be entering." Satisfied by the sharp intake of breath that is then exhaled on a regretful 'Mmmm' followed by flash of intense blue lights underscored by a pursed-lipped warning smile before they return to the road.

Caroline considered using the radio to distract but decided that under the circumstances that might be counterproductive, instead, "So, tell me about the bridal luncheon with your family."

Caroline received the 'aren't you adorable smile again, "Naturally they wanted to know all about you even though they had met you on Sunday. How we met, what you are like, your family, everything."

"What did you say?"

"A very condensed version of our story, that you were being terribly sweet about the baby and taking awfully good care of me." Meeting Caroline's smile, "With the aunts and the teens and my Mum there, decorum reigned." In mock innocence, "Of course, at lunch with Brenda and Patsy on Wednesday I didn't get by with such airy generalities."

Caroline is blinking at her now, not sure how concerned to be, "What does that mean?"

Eyes through the windscreen, "Well, on Sunday they'd seen how gorgeous you are and they wondered if you were as romantic as you are beautiful, if you were a good kisser, things like that."

Rising to the bait, "Well, they didn't! You didn't…" Catching sight of the averted face with twinkling eyes cast her way, lips compressed to keep from laughing, "You're having me on. Right. OK."

Laughing aloud, "Oh, that was too easy." Still chortling at Caroline's discomfiture, "That shade of pink is very becoming on you." With a wicked twinkle in her eye, "They probably did want to know but they were too polite to ask."

Driving on they spoke of many things. The boys, Caroline recounting some of yesterday's talk with William. Of Laurence asking to delay the offered 16th Birthday party with his friends until summer in order to have the outdoor picnic that he'd always wanted but which was never possible with his birthday in February. His cute inquiry as to whether there could still be a family birthday celebration this month, obviously unwilling to forego all presents until summer.

They spoke of Celia's moderating attitude toward their marriage; Celia and Alan's health, where they might live now their trip to the continent was over and they were preparing to settle down. Wondered where Kevin's next assignment might be and how Edie would cope with his departure, Alistair's prognosis. Talking at random the way long car trips inspire conversation.

They spoke of their own wedding again now that it was just the two of them. Telling about their independent trips to find a wedding dress Kate remarked dryly, I was hoping against hope that you didn't come up with another one of those bolero jacket dresses like the one you wore to Celia and Alan's wedding."

Ingenuously, "Didn't you like it?"

Examining the profile beside her to see if she was being led on, as Caroline has been known to do, "Let's just say that of all the ensembles I've seen on you, it isn't my favorite." Hastening to add, "In spite of the fact that it was what you wore when you took my hand and agreed to dance with me."

Wearing matching goofy lovesick looks the two women gazed at one another until Caroline brought her attention back to driving.

Kate finally remembering the question, "So, how did you come to be wearing that bolero dress?"

Caroline shrugged with one shoulder, "Oh. Mum, naturally. She thought it was the feminine version of the morning suit the men wore. The perfect matronly look for a wedding. Sooo…"

In surprise, "Matronly! Did she say that?"

Shrugging again, "Yes. I suppose that's what I am, isn't it? Mother of two teenagers at forty six?"

Kate's grinning now, "Of all the words I've used in my mind to describe you, matronly has never been one of them."

Smiling over speculatively, "No? What then?"

Kate raised her eyebrows, "Fishing?"

Vivid blue eyes roving over the loveliness of Kate so close beside her, the red of her jumper peeking through the opening of her own grey wool wrap which fitted nicely around Kate's increasing fullness, finally flashing that shy smile that always did Kate in, "Shamelessly."

At Kate's 'Mmm. Where to begin?' Caroline prompted, "At the beginning, what did you think?"

A soft remembering smile on her lips, loving eyes warm on Caroline, "At the beginning when I first met you or the beginning of us?"

Glancing over with her chin tucked down, "Both?"

Kate's smile widened at this playful, loverly Caroline. Elbow on the console, chin in hand, a faraway look in her eyes Kate remembered, "The first day I met you, for the interview, I thought you were very imposing, smartly dressed, a little grand even. I hoped you hadn't noticed that my eyes went down your legs after we shook hands and you started for your chair.

At Caroline's dismissive smile, "Later, around school, seeing you in faculty meetings and assembly you seemed… splendid. I liked you even more, your voice, the way you engaged everyone in faculty meetings, your amazing blue eyes taking in everything."

Warming to her subject, "Every day you were just everywhere at once weren't you? We all knew we had to keep on our toes because you could turn up anywhere at any time and you did. We didn't dread it; we were hoping you would turn up. You'd light up a room when you stepped into it with your interest in everything, your kindness, the way you always had an encouraging word or a suggestion that was spot on." Meeting Caroline's eye, "It wasn't only me, they all talked in the staff room about you and how glad they were that things were changing. Of course there were a few holdouts from the old days but they were never going to fit into the new ideal and soon moved on."

Seeing the pink that suffused the translucent skin, Kate went on, taking delight in Caroline's discomfort. "Well, crush or no crush, I knew you were married and had children. So, I just went about my business, watching you from afar as they say, thinking you were happy. Musing, "I think that is why my dating in those years was so infrequent and causal. No one I met came close to measuring up to you." Bringing herself back to topic with a slight shake of her head, "Then, I noticed the change, you looked troubled. I started hearing rumors in the staff room about your break down with John. It took a lot of courage to try to befriend you."

Genuinely curious, "Why did you?"

Looking embarrassed, I really wasn't trying to take advantage of the situation, but I realized that as friendly as you were to everyone you didn't have any friends, at least at school and you looked like you needed a friend. You had become… subdued, grave, muted. You were still there for all of us but I could see that it was an effort to do what had been so natural before. It broke my heart for you. I think that is when my crush went out of control and I lost my heart to you. You were just so… sad. Sometimes it was all I could do not to put my arm around you and give you a hug. I always wondered what you were thinking that day I found you during my free period, outside looking across the empty playing fields."

"Caroline remembered that day smiled at Kate tenderly, "I wasn't mooning over John if that is what you are thinking. I was feeling like a total failure, realizing how long ago it had all started to go wrong. Berating myself for letting us get to this point in such a careless, uncontrolled way. Putting the boys through all of it." Placing the back of her hand to Kate's cheek, "Then there you were, asking if I was alright. Not taking the brush off as the others did when they got too close. You just stood there with those deep brown eyes, seeing me. Really seeing me. It scared the bejesus out of me."

"But you agreed to meet me for tea later," Kate pointed out.

"I was very low. It had been such a long time since anyone had really looked at me. Not their wife, or mother or daughter, me. It felt… I couldn't not… Well, you were…" giving Kate a despairing look, "Shit. Even now I can barely comprehend the effect you had on me, let alone articulate it. I found that I couldn't not go. I needed not to feel as invisible as I felt then. I wanted you to see me." Breathing more rapidly at the memory of the turmoil of feelings that day. "And you. What did you think then?"

"The look you gave me when I asked you to go for tea was so intense, so unreadable, intimidating really. I almost apologized and left but then you said, 'OK'. Just like that. Then I was terrified the rest of the afternoon about what I'd gotten myself into. In the café, the two of us alone together, my heart was beating so loudly I thought surely you would hear it. You told me what was happening, how you were blaming yourself, worried for the boys. I felt sorry for you and them but part of me was thrilled to be that close to you, inhaling your scent, hearing your soft voice just across the table, watching your fingers pleat that napkin over and over. After that, you were seldom off my mind, from that day to this."

Caroline had brought the car to a halt in the rest area car park. Brown eyes on blue, "God, Caroline, its all been so dramatic, so heartrending. And now here we are."

Caroline released her seat belt and twisted closer, "And now here we are. How very, very glad I am to be here with you." Emotions high, the kiss so poignant that they both have tears when finally they part.

Once again seeking out tissues and blotting one another's face, Kate laughed, "We should buy stock in a tissue manufacturing company."

Caroline's eyes twinkled, "What makes you think I haven't?"

Penzance

Nearing Penzance, "I can hardly believe we are going to have four more whole days together." Gazing dreamily, "Just you and me." Love beaming in her brief glance Caroline's eyes returned to the road, "I hope you'll like the place we are staying. I chose comfort over quaint this time. I wanted to be certain that everything was perfect for you." At the love filled smile, "It's a bed and breakfast, the main house is closed during the winter but they have these little cottages to let year round and they'll bring tea and hot breads and fruit each morning, just leave it at the door in hot/cold boxes to bring in when we're ready."

"Sounds perfect."

"There is a hotel that has an excellent reputation for dining. I thought we might go there for dinner tonight. If you like, if you're not too tired." Glancing at Kate she saw the look that told her anything she suggested would be found delightful.

So they spent the next two days with leisurely mornings, breakfast on the doorstep, sights of the town to see when they were ready, alternatively driving and walking to save Kate from undue tiredness. They'd lunch at some likely place when the spirit moved them, then mid-afternoon come back to the cottage for rest and intimacy before dressing for dinner only to return for the long secluded nights, to talk and love themselves to sleep.

Distractions and Flourishes

Kate is collapsed onto the wide bed. Caroline found her way inside Kate's arm, an ear devastatingly close to Kate's mouth, listening to her labored breath, "Dr. McKenzie-Elliot! Who knew you could be so creative?"

"Creative?"

"God, Caroline, you've had me in every conceivable position this week."

Chuckling wickedly, "Oh, we haven't been here nearly long enough for that." Raising her head to make her point, "Besides, I've had to be 'creative' in order to follow the doctor's orders and I was afraid not to." Lifting her chin, "Not that you've lived up to our agreement."

Brown eyes sparkling with flecks of amber, "Well, but you're just so delicious, I couldn't resist." Her voice soft and low, "Besides, it thrills me to be inside you when you come." Mischievously, "You didn't stop me."

"Oh, Kate, that would have taken superhuman strength and you're my kryptonite."

Brows rising, "You didn't appear to be that weak. The way you were thrashing about."

"K-ate-e!"

Struggling to keep a straight face, "It was quite distracting, all that moaning and thrashing and crying out."

Feeling the flush spread over her, partly at the thought of that moment and partly to be looking at Kate when she did. Giving her a pout, "Well, you wouldn't let me come, would you?"

Teasing her, "You thought that was me? I thought that was you."

Not responding to this, "Dare I ask where you learned that other last little maneuver?"

Ghost of a smile playing on her lips, "Can't you just enjoy it?"

Appreciatively, "Oh, I did." Then shyly, "Sometimes, with you, I almost feel like a virgin."

Chortling, "Ohhh! As if! I could ask about a few of your artistic flourishes."

Caroline silences this by covering Kate's mouth with a series of very distracting kisses. Laying her head on Kate's chest, "Have you been with many…?"

Warningly, "Caroline."

"I'm a scientist, I like to quantify things."

Rolling them and pressing Caroline onto the bed, "Quantify this." Kate toys with kissing the lips that reach for hers, tasting and teasing with the occasional nip until finally she allows Caroline to take her mouth then delivers a crushing kiss that has them both breathless and searching for more.

Wherever You Go, I Will Go

Wednesday morning they stopped near the quay to browse the shops and wandered toward the water, finding an isolated bench from which to watch the boats and the gulls.

"Kate, are you comfortable?"

"Fine, why?"

Crooking a leg up onto the bench to face her, "There is something I'd like to talk to you about." Looking up Caroline saw the alarm on Kate's face and rushed to reassure her, "It's nothing bad. I think it may be a good thing but if you don't like the idea we can keep on just as we are."

Wondering what was coming next in this roller coaster ride that was life and love with Caroline McKenzie-Elliot. "Caroline, I think you should just tell me instead of trying to prepare me because you're only scaring me."

Concernedly, "Sorry. Are you OK?"

Impatiently, "Yes Caroline, just tell me."

"OK. So, the Board of Governors has bought St. Bidduph's school in Leeds. It's been failing for years and recently their board have been reaching out to find a buyer. The building is in need of significant updating and that is already underway. There isn't any serious competition there for a school the caliber of Sulgrave Heath and the Governors would like to replicate what we've done at SH in Leeds."

Kate is watching the fervor build in Caroline as she's telling this, "What you've done at Sulgrave, you mean. So they want you to be the Head at Leeds?"

Taking Kate's hands into hers, face shining, "Kate, it's a whole new position. They've asked me to oversee both schools. Bring the standards of the progressive education we offer at SH to the new school. Bring the things we've all been doing so well in Harrogate to Leeds. Maintain standards at both schools, train administrators and teachers. Plus, the new diversity curriculum will be instituted in Leeds from day one."

Seeing the lack of enthusiasm on Kate's part, Caroline came down with a crash, "It's not something I have to do. It was only an offer."

Kate had simply been taking it all in when suddenly she realized what it meant to Caroline to be offered this position, what it would mean to her to remain static in her current job and watch someone else create a new school to equal SH. She quickly amended her attitude, "No Caroline, I didn't mean that you shouldn't accept it. I'm just thinking of what it will mean to our family life if you are on the road between Harrogate and Leeds."

"Kate, I think I haven't told this very well. I'll finish as Head at Sulgrave with the Summer Term. So everything stays the same until then. It probably means that I have to work a good deal during the summer term holiday. There will be hiring to complete, training sessions, setting up my new office, that sort of thing. If I accept this position the Governors will hire a new head for each school. When the Autumn Term begins I mentor the new Heads and teach them how to maintain the standards that the Board of Governors and I establish. I will be in Leeds a good deal, my office will be there, for this year at least."

"The major re-construction will be finished the end of August, during the break we'll buy the furnishings, electronics, hire and train the right people and get organized for the Autumn term. It will be a lot of work. I don't want you to think anything else. I'll be giving up much of the summer holiday to get the new school ready for opening in September."

Seeing that Kate still had reservations, "Kate, what I'm most excited about is the freedom this gives me to not be tied to a desk. At least once we get the new school up and running. It'll be doing what I love most about the job, making policies and implementing teaching methods that bring out the best in our students."

Admiringly, "That is your forte. You'll be very good at that. You always have been."

Earnestly, "Kate, I realize that the timing on this is not great. This first year is going to be a lot of work, no question. I'll be back and forth between schools quite a lot at first. But once the new school is established I'll have a degree of freedom that I don't have now. To be where I'm needed but also not to have such a demanding schedule, to be able to spend more time at home than I do now. Work from home sometimes. That would be a good thing, wouldn't it? With the baby coming?"

Smiling, "Yes, Caroline, that would be a good thing." In the back of her mind she's thinking of Caroline's work ethic and wondering if this will ever pan out in practice as well as in Caroline's theory. She also knows that this is an opportunity that Caroline needs to take. She can see already how she's expanding into this new role.

Kate stood, pushing Caroline back onto the bench with a gentle smile. "I can't think with those blue strobe lights full in my face." Then more seriously, "I'm just learning about this, Caroline. Can you give me a little time to think it through?"

Nodding, "Course, Of course."

Kate sees the worried expression but she can't think about that now. Moving toward the stone wall a short distance away from the bench Kate leaned and looked out unseeingly. It was clear that the next year would take Caroline's best effort to launch a new school as well as mentor the existing one. She had no illusions that Caroline would give the job less than her best effort; she would never stint herself to make the new school a resounding success.

Kate knew that inevitably this would mean less time at home for Caroline no matter how much she wanted to be there with them and that she would come home fatigued. She also knew it was the kind of fatigue that somehow, oddly, energized Caroline. Only a few days ago she had made promises to Caroline to be sensitive to her needs, she'd said 'wherever you go I will go'. It was clear that Caroline needed to move up to fulfill her potential. Surely the joy of seeing that would outweigh short-term inconveniences. Already her promise to help foster one of Caroline's strengths was being called into play. This was a good offer for Caroline, a position tailored to her talents really. Would the Governors have been so ready to purchase a new school without Caroline's abilities in mind?

Kate considered what this would mean in terms of their home life and the new baby. She reflected that less than two months ago she was facing the reality of having her baby on her own and being a single mother. Surely she could manage whatever was necessary to make this opportunity possible for Caroline. And Caroline would be there for her, she knew this.

Turning to lean her backside against the wall Kate smiled warmly at the anxious figure sitting on the edge of the bench. The smile brought Caroline to her feet closing the distance between them. "Caroline, this sounds like the perfect position for you. You'll be brilliant. I'm very proud of you."

Smiling broadly now, "And it comes with a significant pay rise. So that will be good for all of us." Playfully, "Maybe then I can get my wife to increase our household budget to include a few non-essentials?"

Lifting her chin, "Caroline, we live very well."

Eyes sparkling, "Yes, we do. Thanks to your skills at marketing and bargain hunting. But I would like to spoil you a little more."

"Caroline, you've done nothing but spoil me since we've gotten back together." Brown eyes brimming, "You've been so good to me. I've never felt so loved and cherished. If I had been alone on the couch in my cottage for all of these weeks that I could only work part time it would have been-"

A finger to Kate's curved lips, "Ah, ah, ah, we are not going back there, even in our minds. We are only looking forward from now on, a bright lovely future for all of us. Made possible by you being willing to marry selfish, inept, old me."

"Caroline, you are the least selfish person I know."

"Kate, you have to admit that last year I-"

Putting a finger on pink lips to stop the flow of words, "I thought we were looking only to the future?" Feeling the smile beneath her fingers Kate replaced them with her lips.

St. Valentine's Day

On Thursday, they'd risen earlier than usual, packed their bags into the Jeep and driven out of town along the coast road to a lay by where Caroline parked the car. Taking Kate by the hand she led her along the easy path to the edge of the water. Facing Kate with both hands joined, she smiled up into brown eyes. "I'll bet you thought I'd forgotten my promise to write vows to you, didn't you?"

Seeing by Kate's expression that the omission hadn't escaped her, "That first night, our wedding night, we were… too distracted?" Giving Kate a bashful look from under her lashes. "And then Sunday we were very tired after the revue and also… um, distracted. So then I thought since we'd left it that long, if you didn't say anything, I'd wait until Valentine's Day. I want to say my vows to you in the full light of day so you'll know without a doubt that I really mean them and it isn't just… well, romance."

Caressing the hands in hers, Kate said softly, "Caroline, with us it's never 'just romance'."

Kate, I want you to know that because of you, being with you, being loved by you, I'm a different person than I've ever been before. I'm more able to love, able to be braver about living. I feel infused with your courage, your composure and tranquility. Being loved by you gives me permission to be myself. That is an amazing gift. I'm going to spend the rest of my life trying to repay that gift. I promise you Kathryn McKenzie-Elliot that every day for the rest of my life you will be my first thought, my last thought and the reason and meaning behind every thought in between. My intent every day will be to make you happy, protect you, care for you, give you every good thing it is in my power to give, to love you absolutely with my whole heart."

After a long moment plumbing the depths of one another's eyes, "Caroline Dawson McKenzie-Elliot, you are the love of my life. Your vitality and vigor, your joie de vivre buoy me up, carry me to places I've never been, places I can only go with you. I treasure you. You delight me every day. I promise to cherish you. I will accept your loving care and magnify it back to you. I give you all of my love without reservation.

With tears and trembling they kissed the soft tender kiss that always made them feel like it was the first time. Then, arms around one another, heads touching, the two women stood looking over the waves sparkling in the sunlight knowing this was another moment they would never forget.

Turning for Home

Taking a leisurely route through the coastal villages on the western side of Cornwall that Thursday they stopped at will, browsing through bookshops, antiques shops, galleries, anyplace that looked interesting. Finally, in late afternoon they took the highway for Bristol where Caroline had booked a room for the night.

The next morning they headed off toward Birmingham, through Manchester and on to Halifax with a stop at the farm on the way home. Here they were greeted as if they had been away for a month rather than a few days and were borne in for tea and made to promise to stay for supper.

After hearing the highlights of the trip to Cornwall, Celia was full of news about the excursions she and Alan had taken to find a new home. They wanted a location somewhere between Halifax and Harrogate so that whichever direction they went the drive would not be too long. Since Alan's doctors were in Bradford they had concentrated on the north side of the town and found several promising properties. They had just today put in an offer on a bungalow. It was in a development where for a monthly fee the exteriors and maintenance were taken care of for them, freeing them to enjoy life with few responsibilities. Someone else would do the gardening and shovel the snow. They were quite pleased with themselves for finding something so quickly and hoping to receive acceptance of their offer tomorrow. Shortly after supper the newlyweds set off for home as Kate had not had a proper afternoon rest in two days.