Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine and at last you create what you will.
- George Bernard Shaw
Early on Sunday morning, the four girls piled into Emily's Toyota for the ride home. Paige offered to drive, because Emily was under the weather, but, when Emily said that she needed to lie down, the girls thought it best for Hanna to drive so that Emily could stretch out in the backseat. She settled in with her head on Paige's lap fell asleep as Paige gently stroked her hair.
Paige was too distracted to fall asleep. She kept thinking about the weekend and how right it felt, being with Emily's family. She knew that this sense of "family" is what she wanted with Emily; - not marriage and children (well, not yet, anyway), but a sense of belonging; of being able to give herself completely to Emily. They had already given themselves to each other emotionally. Paige was ready to give herself physically.
"So," Pru began, the following evening, sitting across a table from Paige in Campus Grounds, "I'm guessing that you want to talk about Emily."
"Why do you say that?"
"Because I'm here and she's not. The only time we have dinner together is when it's the four of us…"
"I'm sorry, Pru. I didn't mean to neglect you."
"And I don't feel neglected. But you see my point?"
"So, right. This is about Emily. I've been thinking, since last weekend…"
Paige drifted off, so Pru started to speculate. "What? About her little meltdown? Paige, don't worry about it. Hanna told me that's just how she gets sometimes. We all have our moments."
"I know. Pru. It's not about that. I just – I don't know. Everything just felt so right with Emily and her parents, you know? It felt like going home. I felt as if I've always been a part of her life. It just seems that we're so emotionally connected that…" Paige couldn't say it.
"You're ready to connect physically, too?"
"Is that crazy? I haven't known her that long, and I've never had a girlfriend before."
"No, Paige, it's not crazy at all. It's not as if the two of you are a pair of sex-crazed teenagers. You and Emily are both adults, and everyone can see how connected you are. If it feels right, if you're sure, then you should go with it."
"It does. It does feel right – to me, at least. But I don't know how to take the next step. Do I just seduce her?"
"Whoa – back up. That could get really awkward. Emily's older, and she knows that you've never been with anyone before, so, knowing her, she's going to worry about taking advantage of you. If you start to tease her, she's going to feel conflicted and uncomfortable."
"So, what do I do, Pru?"
"You just need to talk to her, Paige, like two mature adults. Some night when you're close, tell her just what you told me. Just open the door. Nothing has to happen right away, but let her know that you're ready for the two of you to start thinking about it."
"Really? Just tell her?"
"Yes. Just make sure that you don't have the talk when something intimate is going on, or she'll worry that you're just reacting to the moment."
"I don't think see how I could talk about that, Pru."
"Do you want to practice with me?"
"Oh, God, no! Shit – seriously?"
"Okay, okay – bad idea. But practice in front of the mirror, if it makes you less nervous."
"What if she rejects me?" Paige sighed, looking down into her lap.
Pru grabbed her hands. "Oh, Paige, Honey, that would never happen. She adores you, it's so obvious. I mean, there's a possibility that she's not ready, or that she'll be worried that you're not ready, but she'd never reject you."
Deep down, Paige knew that her best friend was telling the truth. She just needed to hear someone say it.
The week went by – Wednesday's seminar, Thursday's study date, Friday's dinner date – and Paige still hadn't worked up the nerve to have the talk with Emily. Saturday night, they had plans to grab dinner and meet up with Hanna and Pru to hit some of the parties on Fraternity Row. Paige decided to fire off a text to Emily, before she could chicken out.
"Hey, Em, would you mind coming over a little early tonight? There's something I want to ask you."
"Sure, Paige. What time? Everything okay?"
"Everything's fine. How about 4:30?"
"See you then! XO"
As she headed up the stairs to Paige's room, Emily began to wonder what was on Paige's mind. It was only when Paige opened the door, and Emily saw how nervous she was, that she started to worry.
"Hey, Baby, is everything okay?" When they kissed, Emily could feel Paige tremblingg.
"Can we just sit down on the bed for a bit?"
"Okay – now you're scaring me. What's happening, Paige?"
Paige took a deep breath. "It's nothing bad. It' just… Ugh!"
Paige couldn't stop fidgeting. Emily grabbed her hands and started rubbing them with her thumb. "You know that you can tell me anything, right? You know that I love you?"
That last phrase gave Paige a window of courage. She decided to spit it out, before the window closed. "Okay, Emily. Well, ever since we went to Rosewood for Thanksgiving, I just felt, like, really – connected with you. I mean, we've always had a great connection, but I just felt, like part of you." Oh, God. She's going to think I'm being a needy, clingy, psycho girlfriend!
"Oh, Paige, I feel exactly the same!" The window on Paige's confidence was rising again. She started idly fiddling with the buttons on Emily's shirt.
"Yeah, so… I was just thinking that… I just wanted you to know that I think that… it's – that it makes sense that, I mean, it's okay that we connect - physically. The way that we connect emotionally."
"Oh_ So…" This was not the talk that Emily was expecting.
"Yeah. I mean, I can wait. I just wanted to tell you, so you'd know. And I wanted to tell you before we went to out tonight so you'd know it wasn't just because I was drunk. Or something. God – this was so much better when Pru and I discussed it."
Emily wanted to laugh at the thought of Paige telling all of this to Pru, and how Pru had reacted, but she could see how hard it was for her girl. "Paige, it's fine. I know what you're saying. I understand completely. I'm glad that you feel comfortable enough to be this frank with me. And I want this, too." Paige looked up at her, surprised to hear this. Emily leaned in and kissed her. "Let's make our first time something really special."
Paige tucked herself under Emily's arm and wrapped her arms around Emily's waist. "What did you have in mind?"
"Let's plan a weekend getaway, just the two of us – no phones, no tablets, no studying. Hanna has a friend who can get us into a bed and breakfast over in the mountains for practically nothing. We can spend a couple of days just really getting to know each other. What do you think?"
"I think it sounds perfect!"
Paige tried her best to busy herself with work all week, knowing that, if she didn't, time would drag on and on. There were two dates that she was looking forward to: Thursday night, when she and Pru were going to go shopping for lingerie, and Friday night, when the weekend was to begin.
Wednesday night was particularly awkward. Hanna obviously knew what was going on, since Emily had to go through her to get the hotel room, but Emily must have told her not to say a word, because she didn't. At dinner, she just kept staring between the two of them with a goofy grin and the occasional squeal of delight. During the seminar, instead of drawing her usual assortment of scantily clad beefy boys, she went with a retrospective of women's undergarments through the ages.
Friday night, a light snow was falling as they headed out to the mountains. The forecast called for snow in the area of the bed and breakfast, too, but there wasn't supposed to be much accumulation. Paige was looking forward to snuggling in front of the fireplace and watching the snow come down.
Emily knew Paige well enough to know that she needed to talk to the girl to keep her nerves at bay. Emily began telling her about building snow forts and having snowball fights with her dad, her hands freezing through her gloves until she wrapped them around her mother's warm hot chocolate, huddled up next to her by the fire. Paige told her of ice skating on the lake with her parents, of making snow angels and snow cones with Pru, of feeling at home in winter more than in summer. The miles sailed by, and it wasn't long before they were checking in to the B & B. They had stopped at a bakery on the way and picked up some panini, having decided just to stay in for a low-key first evening. Emily changed into an oversized chemise and boy-shorts. Paige changed into footie pajamas that made Emily just want to eat her up. They grabbed a blanket and ate by the light of the fireplace in their room. Hanna's friend had a bottle of wine waiting for them, and they uncorked it and settled in to one another's bodies, enjoying the moment.
Paige, who was under Emily's arm, leaned over and began kissing Emily's collar bone. She worked her hand under Emily's chemise, stroking along her waistline as she moved the kisses up Emily's neck. Emily leaned her head back, offering more of herself to her girlfriend. This was familiar territory for them; a well-travelled route in their previous romantic encounters. Emily took them down a new road, taking Paige's hand under her chemise and moving it up to her breast, moaning as Paige caressed her there. Soon, Paige had both hands under the chemise, and soon the chemise came off. Paige was momentarily hypnotized by the sight of Emily's chest as the shadows cast by the fire danced up and down their expanse. Emily took advantage of Paige's momentary paralysis and pushed her onto her back, looking down at her to confirm that she was okay with this. Emily kissed her hard, massaging her breasts through the soft pajamas. Paige was rapidly coming undone. The Velcro closure of her pajamas also came undone, and Emily found herself flesh-on-flesh with Paige's chest. She moved her head down and began licking and sucking Paige's nipples. Paige tangled her hands in Emily's hair, arching into her mouth, gasping and screaming. Without realizing it, she had reached a hand underneath her pajamas and started stroking deeply into herself. When Emily saw it, she grabbed Paige's wrist. Paige was embarrassed at what she had done on instinct, until Emily pulled her fingers to her mouth and sucked them clean. That got Paige incredibly wet, and she couldn't help squeezing her legs together, desperate for release. Emily snaked a hand down into her pajamas and began giving her what she needed, curling her finger deep inside Paige. She removed the pajama bottoms, clearing the pathway for her to kiss up and down Paige's inner thighs. "God, Paige – you're so beautiful!"
Paige began arching more urgently into Emily's fingers, moaning Emily's name over and over. Emily smoothed her left hand along Paige's ass, squeezing it lightly in the rhythm that her right hand was maintaining inside her. She began flicking at Paige's clit with her tongue, causing Paige's moans to change into shrill cries. Paige clenched tight around Emily's fingers before she let out a gasp and shuddered to a halt. Emily continued caressing Paige's ass and her thighs, depositing kisses just below her navel, while Paige came down.
Paige pulled her lover face-to-face with her, both hands tangled in Emily's hair, and just smiled at her. Finally, she kissed her. "That was incredible."
Emily stood up and helped Paige into the bed. As they reclined, Emily held out her arm, and Paige tucked herself under it. She began drawing lazy figure eights along Emily's bare stomach. Emily kissed the top of her head. Paige sat herself on Emily's waist, leaned down, and started kissing Emily and massaging her breasts. She rubbed her hands up and down Emily's sides as her head descended from lips to neck to breasts. She coaxed Emily over, so that she was lying on her stomach, and began kissing and rubbing her back, working her way downward. She pulled down Emily's boy-shorts and started kissing and rubbing her ass. She continued the journey south, spreading Emily's legs and kissing her wetness from behind. Emily rolled over and lightly pressed Paige's head into her crotch. "Ha ha!" Paige shouted in triumph, burying her face inside Emily. Emily bucked and writhed, her hands forcing Paige's head deeper; her thighs involuntarily closing around Paige like a vise. Paige began scratching Emily's thighs, and Emily couldn't control her screams. Paige moved a thumb to Emily's clit, and Emily came around her with a gasp.
Paige kissed her way back up Emily's body, finally placing a chaste kiss on her lips. The two lay facing each other, lazily caressing. "Hey," Emily said, breaking the silence, "Guess what."
"What?" Paige asked.
"We've still got another day and a half here!"