We grieve only for what we know has happened, but we fear all that possibly may happen.
- Pliny the Elder

Paige woke up freezing in the middle of the night. She realized that the fire must have gone out. That's the problem with fireplaces: They're romantic as long as you stoke the flames, but a moment of neglect and the flame goes out, leaving you cold.

Paige scooted over to snuggle up to Emily for warmth, but Emily wasn't in bed with her. She called out to her, but there was no reply. She thought that Emily must have gone to put some more logs on the fire. Wrapping a blanket around herself, she got up and looked for her lover, but Emily was nowhere to be found.

The fire had gone out and Paige was getting colder.

Paige noticed that Emily's suitcase and purse were gone. She looked outside and saw that the car wasn't there. She began to panic, crying out for Emily. She noticed a note with her name on it: "Paige, I'm so sorry. This isn't working for me. Pru is on her way to pick you up and take you back to campus. XO – Emily."

There was no fire. It was cold.

Paige couldn't believe what she was reading. Tears blurred her vision and grew into deep, guttural sobs as she tried to cry out Emily's name but could form no words. Her worst nightmare had come true. She had given herself in the most intimate way to the woman whom she loved, and the woman rejected her.

No fire.
Cold.

Emily woke up to the sound of soft crying next to her in the bed. She looked over and saw that the woman whom she loved had crawled out from under the blankets and was lying at the far edge of the bed in a fetal position. Emily felt enormous guilt. She had been certain that Paige was ready for what had happened between them the night before. Paige certainly seemed to think that she was ready, but they were both wrong. Clearly, Paige was regretting it. Emily was devastated. She didn't know what to say or do. She wanted to comfort Paige, but Paige seemed to want space; she had, after all crawled away from both Emily's warmth and the warmth of the blankets. Emily, heartbroken, got up to go sleep on the couch and give Paige the space that she needed.

Just as Emily stirred, Paige's low weeping turned into loud sobs, and Emily couldn't bear it anymore. She had to try something to fix this. She reached out for Paige's shoulder and whispered her name. Paige startled awake at the touch, turned and saw Emily, and grabbed her in a desperately tight hug, her fists pressed hard into Emily's back as she wept uncontrollably into her shoulder. "Don't Leave Me!" she shrieked between sobs, weeping Emily's name over and over and pleading for her not to leave.

Emily just kept rubbing Paige's back as she cradled her head. "It's okay. I'm here. I'm not leaving you. I'm not going anywhere." She had no idea what had set this off. It was several minutes before Paige was composed enough to explain. "I had a dream," she began, as she wiped her eyes with the heel of her palm. "I woke up, and you weren't here. You had left. There was a note. You rejected me." Paige felt like an idiot hearing it out loud. "I'm sorry, it just - it seemed so real," she concluded softly.

"It's okay," Emily soothed, clutching Paige tighter. "I know how horrible that must have felt."

"I was so frightened and so alone, Emily. And it was so cold."

"The fire went out," Emily observed. "I'll go relight it."

Paige pulled Emily back in before she could get away. "No, don't leave me!"

"I won't. I won't," Emily assured. She used one arm to pull the blankets up around them, then gathered Paige into the warmth of her body, kissing her on the top of her head and stroking her back. Paige felt very small in her lover's arms. "I'm pathetic," she said, barely audibly. Emily drew her in for a long, lingering kiss. "It was a bad dream, Paige. Everybody gets them." Paige nodded and let herself drift back to sleep.

Once Emily was sure that Paige was deeply asleep, she got out of bed, found her chemise from the night before and threw it over herself, and went to rekindle the fire. She was trying to hurry, because she really didn't want Paige to wake up to an empty bed. Emily was no expert on the subconscious, but she understood that Paige's nightmare had sprung from some deep-rooted fear that Emily would reject or abandon her after she had made herself completely vulnerable to Emily. Emily was resolved to do whatever it took to reinforce to Paige that she was there to stay.

Paige's second wake-up was much less traumatic than her first. Her head was on Emily's chest, her arm around Emily's waist, their legs tangled together. "Hey, when did you get dressed?" she asked, tugging at Emily's chemise and letting her hand roam beneath it.

After a few more lazy moments in bed, the lovers decided to get cleaned up and head out for breakfast and a bit of exploration. There wasn't much snow or wind, so they decided just to bundle up and leave the car behind. The breakfast room was almost deserted by the time the two late-sleepers made it down. They joined an older couple who made the trip to the B&B every year and who were delighted to tell the girls all of the must-see places that they should explore on foot. Emily was taking it all in, and Paige was surprised. She knew that Emily was an engaged listener, but she was reacting as if she had never heard of any of the sights before. Paige had just assumed that Emily had been there before – with Maya. She had never asked, because she really didn't want to think about it.

After the older couple excused themselves, Paige asked Emily, "You've come here before, haven't you?"

"A couple of times," Emily confirmed. "I've heard of most of the places that they talked about, but not all of them. I was just really enjoying how excited they were getting telling us about them." Paige grabbed Emily's hand, thinking how sweet that was.

After a pause, but before she thought it through, Paige asked, "You came here with Maya?"

Emily knew that this question was coming. They'd never really talked about her ex-girlfriend, and, honestly, Emily didn't really ever think about her.

"Yeah. I did."

"It's okay. I know that she's in your past."

"Paige, she's definitely in my past. And I'm in the present. With you. I'm not here thinking about what this place was like with Maya. In all honesty, I hardly ever think of her at all. I hope that you don't think that you have to measure yourself against Maya. You'd win, hands down, every time. You can ask Hanna – my mom; anyone. They'll tell you the same thing."

As reassuring as it felt to hear Emily say that, Paige felt bad. She really wasn't asking out of jealousy or insecurity, and she didn't want Emily to feel that she had to prove her love. She had been proving it to Paige from the night that they first kissed. Paige reached out and grabbed Emily's forearm with both of her hands. "Emily, you don't have to convince me. You prove your love to me every day, in everything that you do. I really wasn't asking because I was jealous or worried."

Emily smiled. "Okay. Thanks."

"It was really nice to hear, though!" Paige opened her mouth as though she were about to say something else, but then she closed it with a sigh and a forlorn look.

"What?"

"Nothing. I just really want to kiss you right now, but I don't know how it would go over in this place, with people of this generation." Emily sadly nodded in understanding.

"Oh, no you didn't, McCullers! You are so dead!"

Emily and Paige were looking off into a mountain crest, enjoying the moment and each other, when Paige gently cupped her girlfriend's cheek - and smashed a snowball in her face. Before Emily was able to react, Paige had gotten a couple of steps on her and fled the scene, laughing. Emily caught up with her and grabbed her from behind, but they lost their footing on the slippery ground and tumbled over each other. At that moment, they were the only two people in the world, and nothing else could matter. Only, of course, they weren't the only two people. Paige looked up in shock to see the couple from that morning's breakfast eyeing them with a confused expression. The wife tugged on the husband's arm, smiling, and pulled him aside to give the lovers some privacy. "I told you that you'd love this trail," he called out to them as he was towed from the scene.

Paige sprang to her feet and began sprinting back to the B&B. "I'll race you back to the room," she shouted behind her. Everything - last night's romance, the dream (or, rather, Emily's response to it), and the romp in the snow - was coming together and making Paige incredibly turned on.

Emily chased after her lover, laughing. She had never seen this playful side of Paige before, and she liked it. "Come on," Paige yelled, and she took off her snow cap and tossed it to the ground. Emily ran and retrieved it. A few yards later, Paige's scarf came off, and Emily dutifully chased it down. Next, it was her coat. Paige was being playful, but the fact was, her body was getting incredibly warm - and not just because of the run.

She got back to the room ahead of Emily and hid at the side of the doorway. When Emily stepped into the room, Paige tackled her from behind, yelling, "I won! I won!" and bouncing up and down on top of her girlfriend. Emily managed to turn herself over onto her back, and she grabbed Paige's arms and pulled her in for a kiss. Paige kissed her ravenously, biting at her lip, excavating with her tongue, and ripping desperately at her layers of clothes. "What's gotten into you," Emily laughed. Paige deposited a long, passionate kiss on her lips. "I'm horny!" she replied.

Paige stood up and headed toward the bathroom. "You start the fire," she told Emily. "I'll be right back."

"Well, obviously, the fire's already been started," Emily mumbled to herself as she did as she was told, laughing at her lover's antics as the flames rose up within both her and the fireplace.

Paige came back into the room holding a towel in front of her as a veil. She was singing, "Like a virgin - touched for the very first time" slowly, drawling the words in a husky, sexy voice as she danced toward Emily, undulating suggestively against the towel. Emily dropped the lighter that had used to start the fire and stood up, eyes agog. "Can't you feel my heartbeat... for the very first time," Paige continued, dropping the towel leaving herself completely exposed except for a pair of Santa boxers. Emily snickered. "So," Paige said matter-of-factly as she gazed unflinching into Emily's eyes and moved herself impossibly close, "Why are you still dressed?"

Emily had already been kicking herself for not having had the foresight to get out of her clothes. But having Paige take them off was a much more erotic experience. Paige never looked away from her eyes as she slowly undid the buttons on Emily's sweater, biting her lip with a devilish grin, intentionally fondling Emily in the process and subtly grinding into her crotch. Emily reached out to touch her, but Paige arched her body away, still gazing into Emily's eyes with that smile, wagging her finger back and forth and playfully shaking her head no. Emily dropped her hands to her side and let Paige take over. Paige leaned back in, spun Emily around, and fondled her backside a bit before she reached around and started undoing Emily's pants. Emily had put her hair up as she worked on the fire, and Paige took advantage by kissing the back of her neck. The kisses were sloppy and wet, accentuated with an occasional bite. Paige's hands, meanwhile, were no longer focused on Emily's pants but on what lay underneath them. She continued her assault on Paige's neck, grinding into her from the back as Emily was grinding into Paige's fingers in the front. The sounds that Emily was making were driving Paige over the edge. She turned Emily around and began giving her deep, hungry, penetrating kisses that forced Emily's head backwards. All the while, Paige's fingers continued to work below Emily's waistline, her other hand deftly removing her bra. Paige began massaging and sucking at Emily's breasts, slowly moving lower until her mouth caught up with where her other hand had been steadily working. She yanked the rest of Emily's clothes down to her ankles and knelt in front of her, her hands roughly caressing Emily's ass as her tongue worked her over. Emily was screaming by this time, her hands in Paige's hair, bucking against Paige's face as she spiraled out of control. Paige moved her hand down to give Emily what she needed to send her over the edge. Feeling Emily's knees start to buckle, she put her arms around her back to provide some support as she continued to pepper her thighs with kisses.

"Shit, Paige," Emily exclaimed when she could finally form words again. "What the hell came over you?"

Paige dipped her head. "I guess I just really like it up here."

Emily grabbed her by the head and pulled her in for a deep kiss. "Yeah. I really like it up here, too." She threw the shocked and yelping girl over her shoulder, smacked her on the Santa boxers, and deposited her unceremoniously onto the bed. Paige looked up at her, laughing, unconsciously parting her legs a little. She really liked it up there.

Too soon, the romantic mornings in bed and the evenings beside the fire came to an end. The weekend had been perfect. Her first time - their first time – had been perfect, better than Paige could ever have hoped. But the weekend was behind them, in their memory banks now, as they drove back to campus. Paige looked at herself in the mirror on the visor in front of her seat. From the outside, she looked the same, but, on the inside, she knew that everything was different, and that there was no going back. She wouldn't want to. Whatever happened, wherever life took them, together or apart, she knew that she was now and would always be a part of Emily, as Emily would always be a part of her.

"You're quiet," Emily pointed out. "Everything okay?"

Paige nodded with a sigh and laid her hand on Emily's thigh. "I'm just thinking. I feel so content. I'm so glad that we took this trip, Emily."

Emily smiled at her radiant girlfriend. "I'm glad, too. I love you, Paige."