Laurence

Sunday evening, over dinner, his Mum and Kate described to him the meeting in the restaurant and the stunned condition of John and Judith at the adoption offer. Clearly they were worried about the decision these two would make and its effect on the baby.

Laurence lay in bed that night thinking of his Dad and what he knew of Judith. Imagining what it would be like to be raised by them he realized how different his life would have been. He decided what he had to do. He would need to go to his Dad and talk to him. It was a school day tomorrow but if he left it until the weekend it might be too late. Surely this was more important than school. And it certainly wasn't something he could do over the phone.

Laurence knew his Dad had no classes on Mondays so this would be the best day to take a chance on finding him at Judith's flat. He would have preferred to start off in the morning but considering his class schedule reckoned that if he left at the beginning of lunch break there would be less chance of his Mum being alerted that he was absent until he could talk to his Dad. He dare not ask her permission for fear that she would not allow him to go. This was something he knew he had to do. No one was closer to his Pop than he was. A bus stopped not far from campus and he looked up the connections to York. His plan in place, Laurence could give himself up to sleep.

Making a Case

Arriving at Judith's flat Laurence had to knock three times before Pop came to the door. In spite of being surprised to see his son, John had only said, "Laurence," before leaving the door ajar to turn in search of a cigarette. Judith sat at her desk, busily tapping on her laptop. She hadn't seemed surprised to see him either, not pleased or displeased she only nodded to the kettle and asked if he wanted tea. As he passed her desk Laurence saw that Judith's cup was almost empty so he made tea for all of them. His Dad finally asked why he was there on a Monday afternoon.

Laurence took a deep breath and began making his case. Told them what he had observed on his last visit, how scared he had been when the baby cried and he couldn't get either of them to tell him what he needed. How frightened it made him feel to wonder what would happen to the baby if this happened when he wasn't there. How sad it made him to see the two of them in such a state.

John finally tumbled to Laurence's point and asked suspiciously, "Has your mother sent you over here? Her and her dyke-"

Laurence stood, "Dad!" He surprised himself by how loud his interruption sounded. Dad and Judith were staring at him now. He sat down but he looked his father in the eye and said firmly, "I don't want to hear that kind of language from you about my mother or her wife. What happened between you and Mum had nothing to do with that and you know it. It was you who left." Glancing at Judith who was inspecting the contents of her teacup carefully, "Anyway, that's all in the past now. Mum and Kate are good people. You know that. You know they would be excellent parents to this baby."

Shaking his head and allowing his teenage scorn to show, "Don't you have a name for him yet? It's awkward just calling him the baby all the time." At his Dad's self-conscious shake of the head, Laurence resumed, "I'm sorry to have to say this Dad but Mum did more caring for Will and I than you did. I mean, you were fun and I do love you but we both know that she did the stuff that needed to be done and not just the laundry and cooking. She's the one who disciplined us when we needed it, helped with homework, took us where we needed to go. Even before things got bad between you, she was always the one to keep everything going, you know it's true.

Seeing that his Dad only looked out the window rather than even try to refute his son, "Now, I see Mum and Kate sharing those things. They both take care of Callie, help me with homework, come to my rugby matches. When was the last time you came to one of my matches, Dad?"

"Laurence, you know I'm over here in York now…" John faltered, knowing that it has been far longer than that. He had the grace to look embarrassed, "I'm sorry Laurence, its just… things have been difficult."

With the air of an old man having to tell a hard truth, "They have been difficult and they are going to continue to be difficult unless the two of you stop drinking." Laurence looks from one to the other, stopping to meet Judith's eyes, "Judith, I'm sorry, but I don't think I've ever seen you when you haven't been drinking. You've had something already today haven't you?"

Judith began to make an excuse then thought better of it and admitted this truth with a nod. She hadn't had much yet or she would never have been this quiet.

"Would you have had a drink even if the baby had been here?"

Looking down, she said softly, "Probably. Yes."

"What would happen to him if you couldn't take care of him?"

Shaking her head Judith shrugged then looked at him from beneath lowered lids. Ashamed before this boy who knows she doesn't have it in her to stop drinking, not even for her son.

Continuing to look at Judith, somehow knowing that it's her he needs to convince, "Mum and Kate don't know I've come over here to see you. I had to come because I've been thinking about the home where I grew up and this place that you live. What it would be like if I was growing up here. Thinking about what a good life I've been given and the life that the little bloke is likely to have here."

Leaning forward, very earnest now, "Judith, I know you aren't a bad person. You've always been very kind to me but I'm sorry, I would not want to grow up in this house with you and my Dad as parents. I'm asking you to think about what is best for the baby and give him up for adoption to my Mum and Kate. I promise you we will take the best care of him." Finding himself a little choked up now, Laurence swallowed, "He is a grand little guy." Judith's eye never strayed from Laurence; he took courage to go on. "He and Callie will grow up together like Will and I did. He'll have a happy life. I know he will. Can you do this for him? Let my Mum and Kate adopt him?"

Judith looked at Laurence for a long moment she turned to look at the swirling shapes of the screensaver. She's been thinking of little else since yesterday's meeting. Thinking of how she got to this point in her life, of her dreams for becoming a best selling author, her dreams of finding love, being loved. She'd thought for a while that John might be the one. He'd seemed to genuinely admire her in the beginning. Now he only seemed to hold her in contempt. He didn't like this flat but hadn't found a new place for them to live in all this time since the Conway Road house had sold. He was staying because of the baby, the baby he hadn't wanted her to have. The baby who didn't make her feel the way she thought she'd feel after she had him. He was a cute little thing but having him hadn't made her feel loving and self-sacrificing the way she'd supposed she would feel. She didn't feel like a real mother, she felt like an imposter.

The first bit in the hospital had been fine, everyone making over them, being waited on by the nurses. But all too soon they were back here in this cramped flat with a baby who needed more attention than she had thought possible. She was tired all the time and mostly he just annoyed her now. It had come to her that maybe this is how her own Mum had felt about her and her brother and sisters. Look how that had turned out. Maybe this offer was the best thing for all of them. John hadn't said much since yesterday but he hadn't spoken against it. She turned to him now to find him watching her.

Seeing the question in her face John nodded to her with a shrug. He'd been very moved by Laurence's speech. Proud of his son for taking the initiative to come here to say this, knowing that it won't be easy. Laurence is right, Caroline has done a fine job with their sons. No matter how he feels about her and Kate he knows that Kate too is someone who will be good at raising a child. He never wanted Judith to give birth to this baby. He certainly doesn't want to face twenty years of being the parent responsible for raising a child. The impression that Peter Markham had made upon him yesterday with his talk of child abuse was still with him as well. And what about him? He'd be in his mid-sixties by the time this child was grown; didn't he have a right to a little fun out of life before he became aged?

Judith found her voice, "You're right Laurence, it isn't fair to the baby. I don't know if I can give up drinking. I have tried and it hasn't worked out. I couldn't do it when I was pregnant, not the whole time." Wanting him to believe her, "I really did try, didn't I John?"

John glances at her from the corner of his eye, "Yeah, you did alright for a while. Quite a while, actually."

Judith is looking at Laurence again, "You really love your Mum, don't you?"

Meeting her eye again, "Yes. I do."

Regret evident, "Maybe things would have been different if my Mum had looked at me the way your Mum looks at you and Will." Sitting up straight for the first time, "Alright Laurence, you can tell Caroline and Kate I'll let them adopt him."

"Thank you Judith, we'll all be very good to him. I promise." Looking at his Dad, "Is that OK with you Pops?"

"Yes." Putting out his cigarette in the overflowing ashtray, "Yes, its probably all for the best." Standing, "I'll have a shower, then drive you back to Harrogate. Call that lawyer, tell him that we'll sign the papers."

Laurence stood too and hugged his father, "Thank you, Pops. You know he'll be in good hands."

John looks over Laurence's shoulder at Judith who is watching them. Now that there won't be a baby to raise he wonders how long before he can extricate himself from this mess with Judith.

Mission Accomplished

Laurence went outside and turned on his phone to call Mum while Dad was in the shower. He noticed three missed calls from her so he knew he'd been missed at school. When she answered Laurence apologized to her for skipping school that afternoon and told her why he had done it, then shared the good news. He assured her that his Dad was fit to drive and would bring him home. Told her that his Dad and Judith had an appointment in Leeds with Peter Markham to sign the adoption papers later this afternoon. That they would be calling later this week to make arrangements with her to see the baby one last time and drop off the rest of his things. Laurence could tell that his Mum was relieved to learn that he was all right, happy at his news but still peeved with him about the way he had gone about achieving his ends.

When his Dad and Judith dropped him at the door of The Lion he thanked them both once more and promised to take good care of the baby they were handing over to his Mum and Kate. Once in the door he couldn't wait for the lift and dashed up the stairs, bursting into the suite calling, "Mum! Mum! Kate, Mum, where are you?" Then he caught himself, remembering that there were now two sleeping infants in this house and tiptoed toward the passage just as both women appeared.

When they saw his sheepish face, their expression changed from alarm to happiness and he knew that Mr. Markham must have called them to confirm the good news about the appointment to sign papers. "Sorry. Sorry for being so loud, have I wakened them?" Then seeing Callie in his mother's arms, already peacefully awake, he looked at Kate and saw her smile with a shake of her head.

Giving him a look he knew well from his childhood and from the corridors of SH, a look that belied her voice, his Mum said softly, "Come and sit down. Tell us about your day."

Walking backward into the living room to keep eye contact with his mother, "Mum, I'm sorry I lied to you. I was afraid you wouldn't let me go if I told you my plan." Looking from her to Kate, "I had to go, I was so afraid that they wouldn't agree unless I talked to them." Jubilant, "And it worked!"

Pointing him into a chair, while she and Kate took a seat on the sofa, Laurence sat and told them about his visit to York.