As I was walking away I could hear her saying stuff, what was she sayin? I dunno I don't really feel like listening to her voice anymore today. This perhaps has been the worst most frustrating 24 hours of my life. Like me and Candice were perfectly fine until SHE came and ruined it. First she hits on me, then she threatens me, purposefully injure me, and now she is cuddling MY girlfriend. I just don't get it Torrie needs some serious help.. Like the kind of help she needs they can't solve here, but the looney bin isn't too far from here. In all honesty I'm not entirely sure what is wrong with her maybe she is just some manipulative bitch who gets a kick out of the pain of others. I guess if I want to know for sure I can just read her file. That shouldn't be too hard I've read everybody who is and was in our group file. I didn't read alot just some basics like the reason for admission, how long they've been here, criminal records, and things like that. Everybodies criminal records were either spotless, or just minor things like disturbing the public. Seeing everyone else's compared to mine made it for certian that I should be here, I think mine was like a page and a quarter long. But I fully intend to not let it grow any bigger after I finish up here. Speaking of leaving I'm so over being here, I was just about to tell Candi too, but I'm not going anywhere until I know for sure Candice will be okay. I might be beyond pissed off at her but I still love her, and eventually I'll get over it just not today.
I figured I'd just go back to Rec. room and cool off there. I'm not sure if Candi is following me or not but I don't care. Once I got there I just stormed in and plopped down sitting Chester next to me.
"You okay? Did you find Candi?" Asked Randy cautiosly. I just huffed in responce.
"Actually I'm not fine and I found her just not how I expected to." I spoke bluntly.
"What happened and why do you have a pink stuffed dolphin?" Asked Jamie.
"Its not just a stuffed dolphin his name is Chester. He's the prize I won Candice when we went to the boardwalk."
"Okay... So why do you have Chester if it theoretically belongs to Candice?" Asked Jamie.
"I gave it to her because she really wanted it so I won it for her, and when I gave it to her it was the first time I told her I loved her. And I guess it means nothing to her." I shrugged.
"Are you guys... Like umm.. an item still?" Asked Randy. I just shrugged.
"Victoria I need to talk to you." Demanded Candice as she appeared in front of me. I just folded my arms and huffed.
"There's nothing to discuss if you ask me. Quite frankly I think you've said enough already." I said emotionless.
"You never let me explain, and like I said before we weren't doing anything wrong. You know you're the one I love so why would I want Torrie?"
"Well I don't know you seemed to be on her side earlier. But hey then again maybe the fall I supposedly took is altering my memories."
"No that was you just being mean for no reason. I don't want her I want you and only you. So if anything I think you're over reacting over something that isn't even that serious. So what we were spooning but it doesn't mean anything!" She said matter of factly. I couldn't help but chuckle.
"I find it so cute that you think that's why I'm mad." She gave me a questioning look. "Its the fact that you say you're my girlfriend but yet you aren't even on my side, none to mention you clearly don't care about my feelings. And you didn't let me explain anything before you took her side. So really I don't know why we are even having this conversation." I shrugged.
"What are you talking about I am on your side, but this afternoon was completely unnecessary and you had no right to act so nasty to Torrie!" She spoke with a hit of anger.
"Oh please! Trust me I'm pretty damn sure if she purposefully dislocated your arm you'd wouldn't want to be so nice to her either!" I spoke getting a bit angry myself.
"Wait are you talking about Torrie? Like new Torrie in our group?" Asked Randy.
"Unfortunitly yes. She is fucking crazy." I spoke to him before turning back to Candice. "I didn't want to believe it either, but when I
tell you I'm telling the truth nobody wants to believe me, trust me you'd be pissed too if you were me right now. But hey it's just like the new girl said I fell and hit my head on the wall. So maybe all of this is all the pain killers talking. Doesn't matter thats not why I'm mad right now. Whatever I'm over it I'll catch you all later." I spoke with a bit of an attitude as calmly as I could. I then just grabbed Chester pushed past Candi and headed towards the elevators. Before I could get to push the button I felt someone grab my arm and turn me around
"No this is over when I say its over! Who are you anymore, because this isn't the Victoria I fell in love with. You're acting like some crazed person." She growled I just sighed and rolled my eyes.
"I think I could ask you the same question.. Do you even remember who Chester is?" I asked holding him up in her face.
"Yea and he is mine so give him back!" She growled reaching out for him, but I moved him out of her grasp.
"Okay great now tell me does he mean anything to you... Like at all anymore?" She squinted her eyes at me. "I know he means alot to me, but I'm starting to think he means nothing to you."
"What are you trying to say?"
"Well I don't know Candice what do you think? To be quite honest its probably exactly what you think I mean, because honestly I'm not to sure if you love me like you say you do." I shrugged. I really do love Candi to pieces I'd die for her, but after all that I'm not so sure if she feels the same. And it kills me on the inside to think that... But I dunno anymore.
"Are you kidding me?! If I didn't love you do you think I'd be having this stupid conversation with you right now? If I didn't love you I probably wouldn't put up with your nonsense like right now. I wouldn't have let you in, and I wouldn't trust you like I do now. And I damn sure wouldn't be on this crazy roller coaster of emotions you have us both trapped on!" She yelled. Fine if she wants to go there fine we can go there.
"Oh you're acting like I forced you to love me! I gave you more than enough chances to go but it was your choice to stay. I didn't force you to let me in, and it was your choice to love me. And really I have us both trapped because last time I checked it takes two to make a realtionship and you are the other half. And trust me you added so many loops to this coaster it isn't even funny, and quite frankly I'm starting to get dizy!" I yelled back equally as loud. "You might love me but you obviously don't give a shit about my feelings. If there is one thing I know for sure, is that if you really loved me you wouldn't have even bothered to spoon with Torrie. None the less you wouldn't have even let her anywhere near our room... But you did it anyways dispite knowing how I feel about her." I spoke softly trying not to cry. "And the worst part is you keep taking her side. Who's going to be on my side where my girlfriend should be?" I spoke honestly. "Here take him." And with that I handed her Chester, turned on my heels and headed to the steps. I didn't bother looking back I just kept walking. I'm not sure what just happened, but I do know my heart hurts right now.
I really don't know what I'm feeling right now but I know I don't like it. It isn't jealousy because I know at the end of the day Candi is mine and I'm hers. Plus I'm the only one who knows how to handle her when she has her moments. It's not anger either because I can think rather clearly right now, and I don't have a desire to punch something. Maybe this is what they talk about all the time on TV about how love hurts. I purposefully avoided falling in love for this very reason.. Hurt. I'm hurt right now and Candice is the one to blame. I feel like I'm trapped in a glass case of emotions and tons of feelings are just pulsing through my veins, and there is nothing I can do to stop it. Now I completely understand all those stupid love and hurt songs, you can find love but it doesn't always mean you win and if nothing challenges it then it isn't really love. But I know the bond me and Candice share is real because we've put eachother through some stuff and all it did was bring us close as a couple and friends.
At this point I'm really not even sure what is going to happen next between Candice and I but I don't care. I should have just stayed single like I had planned, then maybe these stupid tears wouldn't be falling from my eyes and I'd be home in my California king bed. I don't get it if love is such a sacred thing why does it hurt so much? I don't even know what to do because I've never felt like this before. I guess I could do like on TV and eat my feelings away with junk food and candy, but then that means more calories I'd have to burn off in the gym or something. I guess I'll just go back to my room and lie down. So I headed there Torrie was nowhere near good thing because I'd probably punch her in the throat too. Once I got to my room I turned off the TV and closed the door leaving it to be pitch dark besides the moon shinning through the window. I didn't even bother using the bed that they were laying in, so I used the second bed furthest from the door. So I climbed in and layed with my back facing the door. We never used the bed because Candi was always snuggled into me on my bed. Theoretically there could be another person who could sleep in here with us but its only two to a room. And in a way one bed is mine and the other Candice's, which is probably how its going to be for a while or until I decide to forgive her and let her cuddle with me again. Which unfortunetly probably won't be long because I know I can't sleep without holding her. I don't know how but she broke down my tough girl exterior and now I'm addicted to her, and I'm a Candiholic now. In hate admitting it but I want her with me when I wake up, when I go to eat, when I'm relaxing, when I go to bed, and I need to hold her while I sleep. I suspose it could also just be part of the rutine I'm use too since its usually what happened day in and day out. Damn she has me whipped! I'm not surprised after all she did manage to make me not want to pick up another bottle of alcohol for a long time.
I know it probably was actually just all the therapy I've been doing.. But no I don't think it was. I think it was because of Candice. Its not everyday that you meet someone who makes you see things from a whole new perspective, and make you forget all your problems because you want to know more about them. Then the next thing you know that curiousity turns into an intrest, and then that turns into an obsession. Then the next thing you know you just can't get enough of them, and want to always be around them, then you get butterflies that always seem to appear when you are around the said person. And then that obsession turns to love and once you're there you can't go back. Thus in the process all your old habits are replaced with new habits that involve your new obsession. And that I believe is how I got over my alcoholism. And I'm pretty sure its the same thing for Candi.
I'm not exactly sure how long I was laying there but it must have been a while because I then heard the door open then close. Then there was a deep sigh and footsteps. I know its Candice because I've heard her sigh like that on multiple occasions. By this time I'm sure she noticed I'm in here and that I'm not laying where I usually lay. But I really don't care right now this time its mostly all her fault and not mine. She then turned on the light and began moving around, I don't really care what shes doing I just want her to turn the light off.
"Do you mind I'm trying to sleep so can you turn off the lights? Or do you still not care about my feelings?" I asked emotionless still not turning to look at her.
"Alright I'm sorry! I guess I wasn't thinking but you were acting so unreasonable and so when you stormed off she was there to comfort me." Great just what I wanted to hear more of Torrie all over my girlfriend. "God its just sometimes you just make me so mad and-"
"Yea so if you can just turn off the light I'd appreciate it." I spoke simply. She just let out another sigh.
"Is that really how you're going to be? I'm trying to apologize to you and you're acting like a child. That's all you've been doing-"
"I have a right to be upset with you Candice. You hurt me Candice, I'm hurt and you apologizing isn't going to stop the pain. So can you just turn of the light please?" I spoke softly. I don't like this feeling I feel and I sure as hell don't like having to say it out loud.
"Nope." She spoke bluntly. Damn it why does she have to be so damn stubborn too.
"I asked nicely."
"Ok well you're going to listen to what I have to say weither you like it or not." She said sternly. I can see her shadow on the wall and she has her hands on her hips. "I didn't intentionally mean to hurt you but you have to see it from my perspective" I don't want to do this right now so I blatenly pulled the blanket over my head in hopes she'll get the message. I know its immature of me to do but I don't care, maybe I'll care again in the morning. I guess she did get it because a minute later she turned off the light so I took off the cover. I can't tell where she is because when she isn't wearing shoes she is a very light walker its kinda creepy if you ask me but thats just Candice. I then suddenly felt a set of lips kiss my cheek. "Good night I love you." She spoke softly.
"I love you but I don't have to love you right now Candice." I murmered. I can never see myself not loving her anymore. She let out a sigh and I assume she climbed into the other bed. This is the first time we willingly aren't sharing a bed since we've been together.. Its going to be a long night for us both.
XXXXXXXXXX
Quite frankly I didn't really sleep at all maybe a hour give or take. I know Candi didn't sleep much either because I could hear her moving around and sighing. I don't get it I'm so tired but I can't fall asleep, and the solution to my problem is laying on the other side of the room. She and I both know that this isn't going to work out.
"Candice." I spoke
"Yea?" She murmered.
"Come here please." I spoke simply. I then heard her get out the bed and walk over to me.
"Yes?" I didn't say anything I just lifted up my blanket telling her what I wanted. She didn't hesitate to climb in, once she settled in I pulled the blanket over us. I then pulled her into me and wraped my arms around her how I always do except I held on tighter than ususal. She then placed her hand on my cheek and softly kissed my lips. "I love you Victoria and I'm so sorry I hurt you. I didn't mean to I would never to something to hurt you like that again." She softly whispered to me.
"Promise?" I murmered.
"Promise, cross my heart." And with that she kissed me again before nestling into my embrace. I'm still pretty upset with her but I'm far too tired to think about it. After a minute or two I was sleeping.
XXXXXXXXXX
When I woke up it was actually pretty late around noon sometime, and Candi is still sleeping. I'm starving I didn't eat dinner last night, I guess that means a vending machine breakfast. So I slipped from Candice's grasp and searched my bags for my wallet. After I found it I left Candi three dollars and then left. I then walked to the nearest vending machine which was down the hall.
"Hey babe sorry about that last night its just I don't like it when we fight. I'm sorry she meant nothing to me." Spoke the psychopath who is they reason me and Candi are fighting.
"I don't like you so don't talk to me." I said emotionlessly not turning to look at her.
"Mmm fiesty just how I like you. Now give me my morning kiss baby." She purred hugging me from behind. Normally I would push her off me, but once again she has me trapped with the vending machine in front of me and her on my back. Seriously like how does she manage to get me in these awkward situations? Fucking nut job.
"As fun as that might be no thanks these lips are already taken by another. So I'd very much appreciate it if you let me go and walked away." I spoke trying to maintain my composure. Which is rather low today being I'm still upset about last night, and I'm fucking starving.. Its never a good idea to make me mad when I'm hungry.
"Awe baby come on I'll be quick just a little kiss. Candice has nothing on me, we really can be beautiful together. So c'mon let go somewhere privet." She purred. Her hands then began to wonder down my abdomen and that is where I draw the line. Out of pure reflexes I threw my elbow back and nailed her right in the face. "AHH WHAT THE FUCK YOU CRAZY BITCH!" She yelled backing away then hitting the wall and slowly sank to the floor. I got her right on the nose because its bleeding a little bit. I just walked over to her and stood over her.
"I swear on you own god damn dead body, if you ever lay another finger on me or Candice I will break each and every one of your fingers." She is just staring up at me smiling. "You think I'm kidding don't you? This shoulder won't hold me back from kicking your skinny-"
"AHHH! OH GOD VICTORIA LEAVE ME ALONE! I SAID I'M SORRY STOP HITTING ME!" She screamed sheilding her face with her hands. "I DIDN'T MEAN TO DO IT! JUST PLEASE STOP HITTING ME!"
"VICTORIA!" I heard Candice yell from down the hall. "STOP ATTACKING HER! SHE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO YOU!" She screamed. Oh you have got to be kidding me.
"Please I'm sorry just stop! I promise never to touch Candice again!" Sobbed Torrie. It was then that Candice forcefully pushed me from Torrie.
"What the hell is wrong with you?! She has nothing to do with our problems what are you doing?!" She yelled at me.
"I didn't do anything she started it! I barley even touched her she's faking!" I spoke in my defence.
"She has a bloody nose for Christ's sake! Is that fake too because it looks pretty legit to me?!" Candice yelled at me.
"No Candice I'm fine I deserved everything she did to me. I'm fine." Uttered Torrie through tears. Candice then went over to check on her.
"I can't believe you Victoria! I never thought you would stope that low." Candice spoke lowly glaring at me.
"No I was protecting myself-"
"Save it!" She snapped. Did we not just do this less than eight hours ago? She's taking her side again without hearing what I have to say. It was then that stupid Ginger Snap and some other guy with black hair with a blonde streak showed up. They then hurriedly grabbed me and stuck something in my side. Here we go again.. wonder how long I'm going to be out this time.
XXXXXXXXXX
When I started to come to again it was déjà vu all over again from my second or third day here. Left hand chained to the bed right arm in a sling and useless. To be honest I'm starting to wish I could go back to when I first came here knowing what I know now. Because I would have avoided falling for Candice, and I wouldn't be so damn mad right now, I would probably be out riding my motorcycle somewhere. And I sure as hell wouldn't have to worry about anybody else's feelings. But I say it but I don't mean it one bit. Obviously fate put me here for a reason I don't know why but its too late to back out. This is probably the most fucked up shit ever like Torrie hasn't even been her for a week and she already managed to throw off the balance of our group in less than two days of being here. Why? That's all I want to know just why.
"I thought last time was the last time you'd be chained up to one of these beds. What happened Vic?" Spoke Christy as she walked over to me.
"Its not like I did anything to get put here. I got framed by a complete and total psychopath." I murmered.
"Vic you beat up the new girl. I don't think someone can frame you for that."
"I didn't think you would believe me either." I sighed. "I have to use the bathroom and I'm hungry. Please tell me you have the key." I pleaded
"Yea hold on." And with that she walked over to the left side of the bed and uncuffed me. "You can do your buisness yourself right? You won't need my help?" I just shook my head no. "Ok well I go get someone to find you some food. Its almost time for dinner."
"Just don't let it be Candice. I don't want to see her right now." I spoke as I walked to the bathroom. Christy just gave me a weird look. "Yea she doesn't believe me either." And I just went into the bathroom. When I finished I sat back down on the bed. I thought this place is susposed to be a stress free environment, because at this point I'm beyond stressed and I feel like I'll go mad.
"Looks like I'm seeing you sooner than I expected." Spoke Shelby as he walked in.
"Its not like I like seeing your face either." I said honestly. I still don't like him he is very annoying to me.
"Can you explain to me why Torrie showed up in my ER with a bloody nose, and crying hysterically?" He asked.
"Do you want the honest truth or the one that sounds more believable that fits the situation?" I questioned back.
"The truth."
"Well then we gotta go back to how I really seperated my shoulder." I began. I then explained to him what really happened and all of the events of the past two days. "So in my opinion she needs to be put in a mental ward."
"Mhmm.. You do realize she has only been here three days?"
"Yea thats what I'm saying so you should probably transfer her somewhere else.. Besides here... Out of the country... On the other side of the universe."
"Well Victoria you have a very active imagination, but there isn't any solid proof of what she did is true. I suspose-"
"What are you talking about my arm didn't pop out on its own! I'm telling the truth honestly. I never hit my head like she said I did I'm a hundred percent level headed right now and that chick is crazy." I complained. I'm not going to stop 'till someone believes me.
"I want to believe you but there isn't any proof she did it. Maybe you should rest because I think you are still tired. I guess I'll get them to watch the tapes again to see but my hands are tied." I just let out a frustrated sigh. This bitch is going to make me go mad. "But I will bring this up again, you're clear to go home. You can go within the next few days if you like and you won't have to worry about Torrie anymore if she bothers you so much." I just stared at him. He has a point but I don't want to leave Candi here with IT. Ha like she gives a shit about me right now. Maybe I should go, it would probably be best for everybody if I left. "Well I guess I'll let you think about it. You just relax and take a nap or something. Somebody will be by with your dinner soon." He spoke walking out the door.
"Wait!... I'm ready to go." I blurted out getting him to stop and turn to look at me.
"Are you sure?" Wait no I don't want to go.. Not with Torrie around. No but if I stay I might go mad and do something I'll regret. No I fucking hate being here I'm so homesick it isn't funny. But Candice is like my home away from home all I gotta do is hold her and I forget where I am. Wait like she will even let me anywhere near her now. Damn I love her so much, but I don't want to have to keep breaking eachothers hearts. I have to do whats best for Candi.
"Yes."
Oh. My. Glob! What a very... Extreme is all I can say about this chapter. Sometimes you just have nothing to say so you just gotta say extreme. I like to use it as an adjective, or to express my feelings/emotions. Anyways aint that about a bitch Torrie managed to reek havok in less than three days of being there. Candice and Victoria are fighting, but they can't seem to stay away from eachother. Then Torrie tricked Vic into making it look like she beat her up for touching Candi. Then Candice sees the outcome and yells at Vic some more. Only in the end for Vic deciding that its time to go home. Aint that some nut ass shit? Smh. Now what?
Do you ever wonder why the fuck there is a D in fridge when there isn't even an D in refrigerator? Like what kind of sense does that shit make? Exactly none! But that's people for ya! Whatever its not even that deep. I'm over it tho -Joz