"Are you sure?"
"Yes." I spoke. I know it might seem like the cowards way out but I'm doing this for the sake of mine and Candice's relationship. If I stay I know stuff will keep happening and the outcomes won't come out too good. And after what happened earlier she probably won't even want to talk to me, and I know I don't want to talk to her either. How am I going to tell her? I dunno but I know I have to tell her myself and I guess she should be first to know also. I've seen the movies when loved ones are last to know the bad news and blows everything out of proportion. I want to keep it as tearless as possiable.
"Ok great. Well then we gotta put in your paperwork and let them know you are officially sober and with a controlled temper now. So that should probably be a few days or so. Do you want me to call your cousin or do you want to?" Asked Shelby writing stuff on his clipboard.
"Let me call. I haven't talked to them in a while. Anyways am I free to wonder now since technically I'm not a paticent here anymore?" I asked he just laughed.
"No you get to stay put right here, you gave Torrie a bloody nose. Nice try though but I didn't even start the paperwork. Besides you are a pactient here until you walk out those front doors for the last time." He smiled. Eh it was worth a shot.
"Well she deserved it next time she'll think twice about touching me against my will." I shrugged. Then Randy appeared with my dinner.
"Sorry to interupt but they told me to bring this up here." He said placing the tray on the table next to the bed.
"Its fine Randal we were just finishing up here anyways." He smiled at Randy then turned back to me. "So I'll go start the paperwork and you start getting your stuff packed and ready to go. I'll see the both of you later." Shelby then left the room whilst Randy just stared at me.
"Get your stuff packed and ready to go?"
"Yea I'm going home." I spoke simply.
"As of today?"
"Well theoretically.. I've been free to go for about a month now give or take. But as of today I decided I want to go home for real this time." I trailed off
"A month and your still here!?" He said in disbelief.
"I know I can't believe it either. I'm so home sick it isn't funny."
"Why didn't you leave earlier?"
"One word, seven letters, two syllables. L-O-V-E" I spoke letting him figure it out for himself. After a few seconds he spoke.
"Candice." I nodded my head yes. "You must really love her if you purposefully stayed when you know you could go."
"Yea and it killed me everyday, but I can't take staring at these ugly white walls anymore. And I want my bed and and a buffet so I can have some real food." I smiled knowing the first thing I'm going to do is completely destroy a buffet. Plate after plate after plate of food. Then I'm going to take a nice long nap in my California king.
"Does Candice know?"
"No and that is why the past three minutes of this conversation never happened. And you can't tell anybody especially Candice.. I wanna tell her myself. Do me a solid and don't tell anybody about it."
"Okay, but you might want to wait a day or two before you do she is so upset with you right now. Mostly she is disappointed in you."
"You know I didn't beat up Torrie. All I did was give her a nice elbow to the face and thats it."
"Yea I know you're telling the truth because you are right handed, and you can't even use your right arm right now. Its like a major hole in her story. Plus she didn't have any hand marks on her anywhere." He shrugged.
"You know you're the first one to believe me right? Its just everybody assumes since I used to beat people up, that I really did touch her. Which I didn't, I want to but I know Candi wouldn't approve."
"Eh yea I got a weird vibe about Torrie the second she sat down next to you and started asking questions on her first day. But are you really comfortable leaving Candi here by herself?"
"Hell no! Especially with that lunatic running around here. I don't want to leave without Candi, but I can't stay with Torrie running around trying to tear me and Candi apart." I sighed "but I have to for the sake of our relationship. Did you see the way Candice took her side and wouldn't believe what I was trying to tell her. I really honestly don't like fighting with her, and its breaking my heart. She'll probably hate me but its all for her own good."
"You really love her huh?"
"Yea so much that I didn't pound Torrie into the ground." I spoke waving my fist in the air. "But gimme my food I'm hungry, that and I wanna go watch the game." Randy then pushed the table towards me.
"Are you even aloud to leave this room?"
"Nope. But at this point I don't give a fuck. Plus rules are just guidelines doesn't mean I have to do as instructed." I shrugged as I took a bite out of my pizza. "Besides he didn't cuff me back to the bed so obviously they want me to wonder off."
"I feel like I should be advising you against that but fuck it rules are for losers. Hurry up so we can go! Dallas is playing Denver."
"Don't rush me boy!" I declared before I hurriedly ate my food. We then went the Rec. room. Nobody was in there so that means I don't have to deal with IT or Candice.
"Who would have thought that Romo would throw three interceptions in the first half?" Spoke Randy pointing out Tony Romo just threw his third pick of the game.
"I do because the Cowboys suck! Nobody likes them." I spoke honestly
"Yea you're right nobody likes them."
"Exactly. All their 'fans' probably got paid to go to the game." I suggested.
"I don't think they could pay them enough to go." He chuckled. And then we watched the game peacefully. Half way through the third quarter Jamie came and watched the game with us. It was cute her and Randy were cuddled up together. It reminded me of Candi how usually when we all watched Sunday night football she would cuddle into me as I held her. Too bad I have no clue where she is, if she is okay, or if she is still upset with me. That's okay for now I guess we just need our space to cool off. I'll probably go talk to her later sometime after curfew and hopefully she'll be alone this time. The last person I want to see is Torrie... Although I do like seeing the damage I caused. I like to think of me harming people as an art because then I can bask in the new masterpiece I made of their face. Now that I think about it that sounds kind of sadistic..
"Hey what are you all wat- What are you doing here? Aren't you susposed to be cuffed to a bed somewhere?" Spat Candice as she walked in and looked at me.
"Oh so now you decide to care about my where abouts. That's cute I'm surprised that bimbo isn't following you." I smirked. She shot me a mean glare.
"You have some nerve being over here when you shouldn't. And Torrie is still over in the Medical ward because you fractured her nose." I couldn't help but chuckle at that.
"Haha maybe next time she'll think twice about harassing me. And would you keep your voice down before you attract unwanted attention, I'm trying to watch the game and quite frankly your meanie-boe-beanie attitude is kinda bumming me out. Its preventing me from enjoying the game like I was before you came in." I said as politely as I could.
"You know what maybe I should go get Stephan." She sassed. I just laughed again
"Fuck it go get Ginger Snap I'm not scared of him. Hell I'll fracture his nose too. I don't care what you do I'm going ho..." No I can't tell her yet... Or not here atleast. I just looked at Randy and he shook his head no in agreement. "Its nothing you can do whatever you want babe." She gave me a funny look and then looked at Randy then back at me.
"Go where?" She asked suspiciously slowly walking towards me.
"I'm going to go.. make you a card because I'm so sorry for what happened earlier today." I spoke as sincerly as I could. But she is still giving me that look and it doesn't look like she is buying it. So I looked to Randy and Jamie for help.
"Uhh.. Yea she was just telling us about how she needed to apologize to you." Randy trailed off.
"Yup we both hate seeing the two of you fight. It makes everybody sad when you guys do." Pouted Jamie.
"Yea I love you so much Candi and I'm sorry for everything." I spoke sincerly. She just stared at me. "Its true I love you and I'm sorry. Forgive me Candice? You're my Angel bunny and I'm your Squishy" I pouted. I don't want her to be mad at me anymore, even though I did nothing wrong to her in the first place. She just folded her arms and huffed. I take that as a no. "Welp atleast I tried." I shrugged then turned back to the TV.
"If there's anybody you need to apologize to its Torrie." She said with attitude. I just ignored her and kept watching the game. "Oh so now you can't hear me?"
"I can hear you loud and clear, its just I don't want to talk to you if you're just going to take Torrie's word over mine every time we argue. Its funny actually how we all believe the new girl, who has been here for like three days. Meanwhile nobody listens to me who has been here significantly longer than her." I spoke emotionlessly. "And the best part is my own damn gir... Well damn! I don't even know if my girlfriend is even my girlfriend anymore."
"What are you trying to say?" She growled inching closer to me. The look in her eyes makes it seem if I say the wrong thing I'm gunna catch a palm to the cheek. But I love Candice and I in anyway shape or form don't want to see her as anything else but my beautiful girlfriend.. And maybe something even better than that one day.
"Nothing.. I just want you to be on my side again and I don't want to have to fight to get your attention. Even though I technically never laid a finger on Torrie so it wasn't even a fight if you ask me. Just four days ago you and I were inseparable nobody could come between us, then Torrie comes a drives a huge wedge in between us. And you have made it pretty damn clear you have no desire to try and knock it down.." I spoke from the heart. "You're breaking my heart babe. I just want you to believe me for once and not that stranger. Anyways I better get going before they catch me and stab me again." I spoke getting up off the couch. I then walked over to Candice so we were face to face. If there is one thing I know about Candi is she loves it when I wrap my arms around her. So I put my left arm around her then leaned in to whisper in her ear. "When you get a chance I really need to talk to you. Its important." I then kissed her on the cheek and let her go. I still think its pretty funny that I can make her tremble even when she is mad at me. Then again it could be my seductive charm I often use on her.
Maybe its both I dunno. With that I walked away headed back to solitary. I honestly am very weary of what she is gunna say when I tell her. Well I'm mostly just weary about if she will actually listen to why I did what I did. I'm only doing it for the both of us. I hate fighting with Candi it brings back memories of when my parents would fight it always ended with broken pieces of furniture, tears, slamming of doors, and heartbreak. It is the one thing I tried to avoid all my life and here I am in the middle of something that probably won't end too pretty. I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later. Love sucks.. Like a lot.
Once I got to the room I kicked off my slippers and climbed into bed. Normally this is when Candi would help me take off my shirt, but she isn't here so looks like I'm going to sleep with it on. Unless she decides she wants to visit me.. No who am I kidding she isn't coming to visit me. Well tonight at least because I know she is probably dying to know what I have to tell her. Too bad its bad news to some degree and there isn't really any good news to share. Hopefully she'll understand where I'm coming from. After I settled into bed I decided to watch Nick at Night, they are playing back to back episodes of The Nanny. If I told you I hate the show I'd be lying through my two front teeth. That show is absolutely one of the funniest shows I have ever watched and I love it. Fran Drecher is the life of the show she is one of my favorite actors of all time. I one time was told I kind of look like her. I couldn't help but to somewhat agree, it might just be the fact that we both have a widows peak and long black hair. I dunno but there's nothing more flattering then being compared to your favorite actress. I dunno this show always brightness my mood no matter what. The thing I find most interesting is all of Fran's very colorful and unique outfits. You'd have to watch it to understand why I love it so much. Some say her voice is so annoying but it just adds to the comedy, or maybe its just me who thinks that.
XXXXXXXXXX
I got so engrossed into the show that I forgot why I was upset in the first place. Then the next thing I know I was sleep. I'm not exactly sure how deep of a sleep I was in, but it had to have been a pretty deep one. I say this because when I woke up guess who was cuddled up against my chest. No it wasn't TED.. Although that'd be pretty damn cool yet kind of creepy. Anyways majestically it was Candice. I just wrapped my arms around her and held her close, it could be the last time I'd able to hold her like this for a long time. I still find it pretty funny how even when we are upset with each other we still somehow manage to find our way back together just for the night. Then first thing in the morning go right back to normal like the day before never happened. I know I said I hate fighting with her but our arguments often go unfinished and I think that's why we haven't managed to completely break apart as a whole. When ever there is a fight someone is always wrong and someone is always right, eventually they keep going until one is proven wrong. But its different for Candice and me because usually one of us will just get tired of it and walk away, or we both give up not bothering to bring it up again. To be honest now that I think about it I'm not sure if that's healthy for our relationship.
That's all irrelevant because I don't like arguing with my Candi. I just want us to be happy together and I really honestly do love her. I can't wait for Candi to finally be released so she can come home. Which reminds me I need to call Aksana to see if all of Candice's stuff made it to our house safely and in one piece. Thinking about that it makes me think about how much I'm going to miss her. I know for sure am going to miss her smile, her laugh, her beautiful long hair, they way she wraps her arms around me when we sleep. Most of all I'm gunna miss her as a person. I know we aren't going away forever but I'm so use to doing everything with her that I don't know what I'll do with out her. Plus I don't know how long I have to wait until I can take her home, hopefully soon.
But I will take holding her while I have her for now. I just can't wait to get out of here H-O-M-E is what my heart yearns for. Its a four letter word that has never meant so much to me until it was gone. And now going there is going to be so much more better than it was when I was drunk. Being sober for eight months almost now I can see things from a whole new perspective.. Or maybe its because I fell in love. I dunno but I'm so excited to hopefully finally be able to come home from work to my beautiful girlfriend and if I'm lucky dinner. Well that is if she isn't out doing her model things. I really do hope she will be able to get right back into it like she was before. I just gotta be able to control my jealousy, I don't exactly like having to share her with the entire country and then some. But I'm not going to stop her from doing what she loves to do, if shes happy I'm happy. Lets just hope she'll still loves me after today. Speaking of Candice I think she is starting to wake up now.
"I thought you weren't talking to me until I apologize." I smirked at her. She just glared at me.
"I am, but I couldn't sleep last night. Doesn't matter I'm leaving now so don't get excited." She spoke simply climbing out the bed and putting ,ironically, my Black Widow Customs hoodie on. I just sat and stared at her. She noticed it. "What? Why are you staring at me like that?" I just shrugged my shoulders.
"You're lying. That isn't the only reason you came over here."
"Oh yeah okay Wise Guy! If you think that please tell me why I came over here." She spat sarcastically.
"Well I believe you did come over here because you couldn't sleep I actually expected for you to come. But you had a answer for everything I said to you last night" I started and she let out a cocky chuckle. "Except for when I told you I had to tell you something very important-"
"No thats not even it! You know how I get when you whisper in my ear like that. So ha you're wrong."
"Candice. I know you better than anybody here. You want to know what I have to tell you. Which actually isn't something that you wanna hear but its happening and I already I decide its what I want. I decided right after you automatically took IT's side and after they knocked me out." I murmured looking anywhere but her.
"So that's it? You're just going to throw out the past several months just because you did something you shouldn't have? God I knew I shouldn't have kept to myself and then maybe I wouldn't be here still. All you've done is just drag me down when it comes to me going home, you're just trouble and its all you ever will be is trouble. But yet it seems thats all you are really truly are capable of doing right and that is to cause trouble. Like at first it was cute but now its just so stupid. I don't get it how is it possible to hate someone in less than a day of knowing them? And than you go and flip out on Torrie all because I decided to hang out with her instead of her. What kind of sense does that make?" She growled. I'm so confused yet so hurt right now. "Exactly none because I swear sometimes you don't ever think before you act you just do whatever you feel like. I wonder if you even have a brain in that huge head of yours or is it just hot air. So you know what if you want to just throw out the past few months we spent together then fine fuck it! Hell I'll bring the matches and gasoline." I honestly am really hurt that she said all that to me. I'm not sure if I should laugh or be mad, but I know I can't stop the tears from forming in my eyes. And I didn't even tell her the news yet. But I do know that it pissed me off.
"Wow! So thats how you feel about me Candice? I wasn't even breaking up with you but that is starting to look like a great option right now. You knew exactly what you were getting yourself into fucking with me." I could just explode on her just like she just did but I can't find it in my heart to do so. "And you know what the best part about all of this is? No of coarse you don't because I did it for you. Do you even know how long I've been clear to go home?" I spat. And her whole demeanor changed. "Almost a whole God damn month!"
Holy cannoli! (I actually love cannolis!) anyways ummm... Did we just whitness the breakup of Candice and Victoria? :( Awe now I'm so sad they are so meant for eachother. *Sigh* What is the meaning of life anymore. And Candice.. How rude! This chapter has my emotions all over the damn place.
Anywhore I actually do love watching The Nanny. And I love Fran Drecher she is so funny. I used to watch it all the time with my mom before she passed. Like that show is a great show. I had a Rice Krispy treat last week sometime and I can't stop thinking about them. I love Rice Krispy treats true story. ~Joz