CHAPTER XV
Carmine Falcone's death didn't really cause many to cry. It wasn't like he was a civil servant, anyway. But it was troubling in that it meant the Joker knows what he's doing. He's good enough to kill one of the biggest mob bosses in America. With such a bold move, I knew he would be more dangerous than anything I'd ever faced. And the worst part: I didn't know who he was targeting next. There were so many variables to consider. Nonetheless, I began conducting my own investigation. This meant I had even less time to relax or even sleep, which resulted in an exhausted Batman. I had already been looked at as if I was drunk several times, as I might have appeared that way. But I still worked, coffee mug almost continually in hand, with a reserve of 5-Hour Energy on standby. One day while I was in the Bat-Cave (and I had been there a couple of days; what sleep I could get was on the floor), Dick came in.
He walked up behind me and said, "Hey, are you alive in here?" I turned in my chair and said, "Yes." Dick raised his eyebrows and said, "Really? Because it looks to me like you're undead. Be warned, I may have to decapitate you when you call for my brains." "You're a master comedian," I said wearily. "You're a veritable fountain of compliments," said Dick. I said nothing, instead returning to my work. Dick walked up beside me and said, "So, anything?" "Well," I said, "I might have a couple of leads on a few of them, but you've seen how smart the Joker is. He's probably done way more than I have. What's worse, he was right. If I'm onto anything, these guys are above practically nothing. And all of them are fairly big names. If the first attack was Falcone, the Joker is focusing on more important figures. There's no good way to figure out which one he'll go for next."
Dick leaned closer to the computer screens, saying, "Well, can't you just see what they're doing? I mean, surely, there's something they'll do this week that'd expose them." "I've already tried that," I said, "but like I said, these are some big names. They've got events that would expose them all over the place. And since it's likely the Joker doesn't follow a pattern, there's no predicting to be done." Dick looked around and saw a file on the computer. He said, "What about that guy?" I looked, and he was pointing towards Harvey Dent's file. "I don't know," I said, "He seems clean. I mean, people are calling him the 'White Knight of Gotham'. The man's above reproach. I've called everybody who knows him, including Jim Gordon. They all say he can be trusted." "Doesn't mean he really can," said Dick. "Well," I said, "I'm willing to take the chance."
I worked and worked all the day. Alfred eventually came in and said, "Master Wayne, people will start believing you're a hermit of some sort if you stay down here any longer, myself included." "Did Dick send you down here?" I asked. "No," Alfred replied, "I just don't want anybody to happen by here and think we have a dead body." He walked away while I sniffed myself, cringing. "I guess I do need to get out of here," I said. I stood up, realizing almost too late that my legs were asleep. I caught myself, leaning on the chair and stretching. I walked out into the fresh air and then into the house. As I walked past Dick, he keeled over. "Real funny," I said. Dick snickered, lying on the floor. I took a shower, letting the water run over my face and nearly falling asleep standing up.
I put on fresh clothes, lying down on my bed and letting myself sink into the blankets. It's good to be rich, I thought. I stayed down for a long time, letting myself rest. Eventually, of course, I had to get up and around, seeing as how there was still work to be done. Dick noticed me coming out of my room and said, "He lives." "Yeah," I said, "but I'm going to have to go back into the Bat-Cave." "Well, in that case," said Dick, "take this." He tossed me a bottle of Febreze. I nodded towards him and said, "Okay, then." I walked to the Bat-Cave, descending to the computers. I actually stood in the middle of the cave for a long time, as there was a bat hanging upside-down from one the arms on the swivel chair. It seemed to be a baby. I slowly approached the chair, jumping back when the baby twitched. I steeled myself, sitting down on the chair.
The bat didn't move the whole time. A few times, I glanced at it, seeing if it was doing anything. It sneezed a couple times, but other than that, it just hung there by its tiny feet, a funny little animal. Why was I ever afraid of these guys? I thought. I worked in peace, the baby bat peacefully sleeping underneath my arm. Evidence was rather fleeting, and the leads had dissapated save a choice few. It took me several hours, but I finally narrowed it down to two people. The one I decided would be worth checking out, though, was a former Frenchman named Henri Bouviac. Henri had moved from France to Gotham as a man in his twenties wanting to be a politician. Unfortunately, this particular Frenchman wasn't exactly a saint. His dealings were at best crooked, and like every other guy on the Joker's possible hit list, he had lawyers and paid off officials to help him worm his way through everything.
Dick entered the Bat-Cave as I prepared to find Henri. I was in the middle of putting on the Batman suit when he said, "Going out?" "Yeah," I said, walking past him. "Are you taking the Batmobile?" he asked. "No," I replied, "The guy I'm finding is French. I'm taking the Rolls-Royce so he won't notice me at first. I'm doing this one with a certain…finesse." "Well, you're certainly the first guy I've met whose idea of interrogation involves finesse," said Dick, "Kudos." I walked out of the Bat-Cave, getting in the car, and went to the city. Henri had had an office for a long time, and pretty much everyone knew where it was. I snuck in through the window, as was my custom, and sat in his swivel chair, turning it so when he walked in, my back would be to him. I've always wanted to do this, I thought. Henri eventually walked in. I purposely put my hand out far enough that he would see it. He said, "E-excuse me, who are you and what are doing here?" I took my time to reply, turning the chair and standing up.
I vaulted over his desk and got a centimeter away from his face, saying, "I'm seeing if you're going to be killed by the Joker." I closed the door and locked it, continuing, "So let's talk." Henri gulped. He sat in his chair, and I stayed standing, not breaking eye contact. "What do want to know?" Henri asked. "Oh," I said, "I don't think I can just ask you. It might take a little persuasion." Henri gulped again and said, "Look, I can give you quite a sum of money. Maybe we can make a deal…" I interrupted, saying, "Save it! I've already been offered money once, and let me tell you something…" I got up close to him again and finished, "I, unlike your 'friends', don't take bribes." Henri shut up and quaked.
It was an eventful happening. At one point in time, Henri was even upside-down. But even so, I discovered that day that Frenchmen are good at resisting (wait, I should have already known that). Henri didn't budge. Fortunately, though, I'd already given the other name to the police, and they were covering his house right now. After leaving Henri's office, I still followed him. I followed him all the way to his house. And I stayed even longer than I had at Guile's. But still, nothing. Fatigue began to take over on day four, and I had to go back to Wayne Manor. On arriving, I went inside the Bat-Cave and took off the suit, at one point glancing towards the Batmobile. The color on the hood was slightly off. My eyes widened in realization and I went into the house.
I stormed to Dick's room and banged on the door. Dick opened the door and said, "What?" I seethed and said, "Did you take the Batmobile on a joyride?" Dick paused and said, "You noticed the color, didn't you?" "Yes," I replied. "Yeah," said Dick, "I took it out for a little spin. But I hit a bird. Sorry. It was…difficult to clean." I didn't know how to respond for a few seconds. Eventually I sighed and said, "At least you're all right. But seriously though, pick a better thing to take a joyride in. I have a Veyron! I have a Diablo! I have a Kawasaki ZX-14!" Dick stopped me and said, "Wait. A Kawasaki ZX-14?" I calmed down and said, "Um, yes. I got it for my birthday back in 2006." "Can I see it?" asked Dick. I said, "You know what? I haven't used it in a long time. OK." We went to the garage.
I took off the tarp that had been on the bike for a long time. Dick looked at it for a long time, saying, "Wow. That's awesome." With its exaggerated tailpipes, smooth design, and black-and-red paintjob, I agreed with Dick. "Do you mind if I take this one out for a spin?" I shrugged and said, "May as well. Though I warn you, it's your problem if you hit a bird." Dick shrugged and said, "I think I'm okay with that." I left Dick with the keys and went back inside. Alfred walked up to me and said, "Are you sure that was the right decision, leaving him with that motorcycle?" I looked at Alfred and said, "Well, he managed to handle the Batmobile well enough, so I figure it'll be fine." "Whatever you say, then," said Alfred. I waited for Dick for at least an hour before he came back. He walked in with helmet hair and a wide grin.
I said, "So, how was it?" He smiled even wider and said, "Great. I took it through downtown, and I think there might've been a couple of girls that wanted my number after that. Course, I was going too fast to give it to them. Life is a cruel mistress." He walked to his room without another word, and I smiled, walking back to the Bat-Cave to continue working. I had a police scanner by my side. Thirty minutes in, it lit up and I heard a voice saying, "All available units, we have a situation at Henri Bouviac's house. Someone's broken into his house." I quickly donned the Batman suit and hopped into the Batmobile, speeding towards Henri's house. It was times like those that I wish the Joker was more extravagant, times where I wished that he would stay at his crimes longer. But it was not so.
Over at Henri's house, Henri was backing away from a terrifying maniac clown, who was saying, "I'm about to show you why people are afraid of clowns." The Joker lunged too quickly for Henri to avoid, and he found himself grabbed by the hair, being dragged to a mirror. The Joker stopped in front of the mirror and slammed Henri's head into it, breaking the glass and severely cutting Henri's face. The Joker held a file next to Henri's bloodied face and said, "This is evidence of all the money laundering you do. It's really too bad no one's going to be able to pay bail." The Joker left the file on a table and grabbed a pair of scissors, bringing them to Henri's neck. "If I'm lucky," said the Joker, "the coroner's report will say you ran with these." He closed the scissors. After cleaning himself up, he left his 'card' on the table next to the file.
Meanwhile, I was severely regretting that I left my post. Unfortunately, we had to chalk this one up to low manpower. The majority of the police force was working on different cases and didn't have time to stop anything. We found Henri with blood covering him. The Joker was obviously watching me until I left. My inexperience cost yet another life. I decided that I should go to Lucius again to ask about it. I was internally wondering if the Joker would win.