Chapter 10: The Queen of Memories

It was lucky that Queen Cassiopeia thought Derwin was amusing and to his credit, he was on his best behavior before the ruler of Nazcaa. They were immediately welcomed to her castle after the delivery of Marcassin's letter. The two researchers from Al-Mamoon were soon surrounded with mechanical, humanoid servants, making them comfortable and answering their every need. These were the latest addition to the island, and they went about their business for each had its own task. Be it farming, gardening, cooking, cleaning, or building, each mechanical doll had a task and there was enough of them on the island for a small population.

Esther looked around the newly built castle, restored to its glory from several millennia prior, and knew that every mechanical servant, every brick, and even the elaborate fountain spray from the center of the gardens were a show of the Queen's immense power and skill as a sorceress. For Derwin, ignorance was bliss. He excitedly chatted with the monarch as if she were a normal person and spoke of the flora and fauna of different continents. The Queen listened raptly as he described the other kingdoms and cultures and how these affected the flora and fauna surrounding them. Esther knew that if she did not like him, Cassiopeia could have easily vaporized Derwin on the spot.

Not that she would. There was a kindness that Esther saw in the queen's eyes, and though her visage was often wistful, it was never malicious. Esther wondered if the queen was lonely here, as the only inhabitant of the ancient, almost forgotten kingdom. The only living things besides the queen on the island were the abundant flora and fauna. Everything else was a fabrication sprung forth from her imagination and her memory.

Several years before, when they traveled back to their respective kingdoms, Esther and her friends knew the truth about Cassiopeia and relayed it back to the ruling governments of each kingdom. But, the people needed a watered down version that was not quite so frightening if the world was to leave Cassiopeia alone. Her castle in the sky was hidden behind the clouds and the queen retreated back to her earthly kingdom of old.

The unfortunate side effect of Cassiopeia's past was that she became immortal. As such, she could only quietly watch the world, protecting her island and opening her borders to all who wished to venture into the ancient ruins of the long lost kingdom. She was the ruler of a solitary kingdom, a monarch with a memory that stretched the span of a few millennia.

The Queen promised no harm would come to Derwin while he explored the island, and so Esther stayed behind to finish up her report to Queen Cowlipha in the castle gardens while Derwin was given the tour by the Queen's servants.

A mechanical servant came up to her and refilled her tea pot as she continued to work.

"Thank you," said Esther, and the servant bowed and left.

"I see the Queen of Al-Mamoon keeps you busy," said Cassiopeia as she strolled up to the gazebo where Esther was working. The younger girl stood up in respect and bowed low.

"It's my job and I intend to finish it before I return for the Jubilee."

"Ah yes," smiled Cassiopeia. She walked gracefully up the steps to the table and sat across from Esther, gesturing for her guest to do the same. "I too received an invitation. I do not receive many visitors here. King Tom of Ding Dong Dell did come the other month to discuss trade of herbs and flowers used to make cat nip, and that was delightful. I am looking forward to attending the Queen's Jubilee as it will be one of my first public appearances among the other countries."

"I'm gad that you will be there," smiled Esther sincerely.

"It is good to be included," said Cassiopeia with a unfathomable expression

Esther ventured forth, "You would be welcome in any of the kingdoms, Your Majesty."

"You need not worry for me. I have explored the world in my freedom." She sighed. "Still, Nazcaa will remain my home. I grow all flowers in abundance here. I will continue to live on, for however long it will take in order to atone for my grievous sins."

"Aren't you lonely here, Your Majesty?" asked Esther. Cassiopeia considered the question and answered with a gentle shake of her head. Her abundant green tinted hair moved gracefully with her movements.

"I have my memories to keep me company therefore I am not. It would not do to despair. I owe that much to the people who loved me, and to I have grieved; and to Oliver who freed me. I must make it up to them somehow."

"I see," said Esther thoughtfully. "I think you would enjoy Al-Mamoon. You should try the royal chef's best pastries."

"I would enjoy that," smiled the queen. "The others will be there as well?"

"I've seen drafts of the guest lists and it will be quite the get together. I've heard from Mr. Drippy before I left the Island of Ta-Hee-Tee that he will open a portal and retrieve Oliver for the celebration. King Tom and Prince Marcassin will travel there as well. Swaine will come with his brother and my father will be there at the palace for the festivities. You will be able to see all of us again."

"I am so glad. I have missed Oliver," she smiled.

"Me too," said Esther. "But before that I've got to finish this report. Could you tell me more about the Hierophants and the Full Boars that live in your forest?"

As opposed to thinking about when she would see Marcassin again, Esther threw herself into her work and diligently took notes as the Queen lectured her on the monsters on the island and their various evolutionary stages.

It was not until after her luncheon meal with Cassiopeia that Esther finally took a break from work and pulled out her satchel containing the Darkwing orb and Marcassin's book on summoning for a change of pace. Without meaning to, she remembered the feeling of his hands over hers and his warm aura enveloping her. The queen noticed her expression change and watched her curiously.

"You are troubled," she commented.

"It's nothing, Your Majesty. Forgive me," she said with a forced smile.

"Perhaps having someone to listen to you will help you alleviate your worries. I know that if I had had someone like that in my youth, I may not have decided upon the choices I eventually made," she smiled sadly.

"I am sorry, Your Majesty. It's just that I…am troubled about….what happened between me and….and a young man," she said vaguely not wanting to implicate Marcassin further than necessary. He probably wanted nothing to do with her now, and it would be indiscreet of her to tell the story of how she had hurt him.

"You were in love?" asked the queen. "Is that not something to celebrate?"

"I wanted to be in love, I think. He made me feel…" she lingered for the right words. Alive.

"And you could not accept him?" asked the queen patiently.

"I couldn't. My heart is…incapable of love," she said carefully. "I don't know what's wrong with me." Cassiopeia looked at her for a moment, and then extended a lily white hand to touch her finger to Esther's forehead.

"Ah," she said sagely and placed her hand back into her lap. "You are still incomplete."

"But how can that be?" Esther insisted. "Oliver found my courage and determination again. That's how I woke from Shadar's nightmare."

"There is a piece of your heart that was destroyed by the nightmare. Perhaps it was already damaged by your past…." suggested Cassiopeia. "An emptiness that had already possessed you."

Emptiness….

"But," Esther added. "Before Shadar cursed me, I was capable of feeling so much more."

"I'm afraid Shadar's spell may have caused some irreparable damage to your heart in a way that it now cannot channel positive feelings to mend the hurts that were already there," sighed Cassiopeia. "This is in part my fault." She looked down to her lap in consternation.

"No, Your Majesty. Please do not -" Esther began but the queen placed a hand over hers. It was surprisingly warm.

"I will help you retrieve what was lost, if not, help you mend it," Cassiopeia said solemnly. "I swear it."

"Do you know if there is a way to help me?" asked Esther.

"Not directly, I am afraid. I wonder if Oliver can help you? His magic had the power to make people whole again."

"I wonder…" said Esther thoughtfully.

Cassiopeia looked over to the book in Esther's hand and looked at it questioningly.

"I did not realize you were a summoner," she added.

"I'm not," answered Esther honestly, "but I have come in possession of this." She pulled out the orb from the satchel and placed it gently on the stone table.

"I have not seen such a creature since the Wars of old. I believe they called it a 'Darkwing,' did they not?"

"Yes, Your Majesty. We're now bound together. But I don't have any experience with spirit pacts and I don't know how to summon it. It's a lot harder than I thought," she said with a self-deprecating laugh.

"To tame a Darkwing is to share your pain with it," said the queen. "You gain an understanding through these shared feelings. It must have been attuned to the emotions you have held in your heart, and connected to you through your mutual darkness. If not for Shadar's spell, this creature might have destroyed you. It was dangerous to attempt to tame it."

"I realize that now," said Esther sheepishly. "I wasn't thinking. I only thought that I had to save him and nothing else mattered."

"Ah," smiled Cassiopeia knowingly. "It all comes back to the young man again. Perhaps it was your desire to save him that shielded you from being overcome by the Darkwing's feelings. Your desire balanced the darkness in you both."

Esther let out a little laugh and stood up to stretch her legs and ponder the queen's words as she leaned against one of the gazebo's pillars. It was all too ironic. The way Queen Cassiopeia put it, Esther was destined to find herself on this path and where she was here and now was where she was meant to be. All the listless direction she thought her life had taken held different meaning now with Cassiopeia's enlightenment.

"Perhaps if you understood how to safely connect to the spirit you may understand the darkness within your own heart better. I will tell you that the Darkwing's affinity is darkness of all kinds. Like many creatures of that region it feeds on the night and misery and despair in their most natural, wildest forms. Autumnia is its natural habitat. When tamed, it has the ability to draw its power from its master, or, from the environment. In this way it can be a means of mutual aid. In sharing its pain it may alleviate yours and each time you summon it, the bond becomes stronger. If you are a kind mistress, it will be tame. If you are a cruel master it will become wild again. When you summon it, you must not take in any of its despair and misery into yourself, otherwise it could taint your heart even further. But you can channel your own feelings of hurt and despair into it, and it feeds off of this to expel into powerful attacks," Cassiopeia said thoughtfully.

Esther listened to the queen's advice carefully. She instinctively knew that when she made a pact with Xantus their hearts had connected somehow. She knew its pain was immense but it also wanted to be free of it. She did not know that it also used the darkness as energy and could feed off of human feelings as well. Summoning the Darkwing and harnessing its darkness into power could be mutually beneficial. Esther wold have to reread the chapters in Marcassin's book on how to reinforce the summoning gate so that the spirit's energy would not flow backward to her. In some cases, opening a channel to feed of the spirit's energy to increase your own power was acceptable. In this case, it was not. There were certain extra glyphs in the summoning circle that could ensure the flow of energy and protect the summoner. It was such a technical art that she wondered how she was ever going to accomplish it and it was little wonder that Marcassin was so good at it.

"I can help you with the glyphs as many of them are in ancient Nazcaan," said the Queen, as if reading her expression. "I can also assist with your summoning circle and you may practice on the island. You have very little danger of harming anything out there and I will be sure to watch you in case something goes wrong," offered Cassiopeia.

"Thank you, Your Majesty. I appreciate that," she smiled gratefully, happy to have something other than Derwin or Marcassin to occupy her mind.

-000-

The time was fast approaching for them to return to Al-Mamoon in time for the Queen Cowlipha's Diamond Jubilee. Queen Cassiopeia offered to take them in her own airship, which Esther heartily accepted since the dreadful alternative was to go by sea. Summer was approaching and Esther could feel the days grow warmer and longer. The glorious crimson sunsets from the cliffs of Nazcaa were always a special treat.

It was during one of these sunsets that Esther left the Queen's castle to search for her partner, gone for an hour longer than anticipated. Derwin hated being out after dark as she guessed he was afraid of his own shadow. Concerned he had fallen into a ditch or slipped and fell down a ravine she went out to look for him after her summoning lesson with the queen. She did not yet dare summon Xantus but weeks of practice in casting the summon circle and lessons on ancient Nazcaan glyphs from Cassiopeia helped her steady her resolve and gain the confidence that she was getting better on the technical parts, anyway.

"Where has that idiot gone now?" she sighed. The queen reassured her that the animals on the island and the magical creatures were all tamed now and would not attack. Derwin was probably stupid enough to unwittingly provoke them, but even so he had yet to be mauled eaten by any of them. Perhaps I've been remiss in my protection of him thinking he'd be fine but he might actually be lying dead somewhere, she thought nonchalantly. Well, at least I'd be traveling light after that….

It was not until she made it to the center of the island that she thought she heard him crying for help. She came to a ravine and looked over the side. In truth she was not actually surprised to see him dangling precariously from some old tree roots jutting out of one side of the cliff. She was actually surprised that he had been hanging there fore quite some time and had not yet fallen to his death.

"Oh please, PLEASE help!" he called from below.

"It's not your time to die yet Derwin. I'll help you," she called down to him. I guess he really does have more lives than the cat king. Perhaps I really am just delaying the inevitable… Esther thought to herself as she looked around and pondered her next move.

She had no rope and there was not enough time to find vines long enough to lower herself down. Esther pulled the orb from her satchel and looked at its greenish glow in the fading sunlight.

"Will you help me?" she asked quietly. The spirit within glowed stronger. She instinctively knew that it was ready to come out, having been dormant for a while.

"Please don't hate me if I do something wrong," she sighed. Esther stood up and closed her eyes, reciting the incantation. She could feel the orb glow hotter and she released it and it hovered over the circle in mid-air. In her mind she drew out the glyphs for each cardinal direction, careful to match west with the direction of the setting sun. The ground beneath her began to glow and the summoning circle appeared at her feet. Esther opened her eyes and etched the remaining glyphs in the correct order within the circle, counterclockwise in the inner circle, clockwise in the outer circle with secondary glyphs to ensure the gate would open and close at the right time.

Her hands started to shake with her anxiety. Esther closed her eyes and remembered the feel of the energy within the circle when she first tried it with Marcassin on the island, and how his aura enveloped hers as if to reassure her that it would all be fine. It was in that moment that she realized how much she had been suppressing and the pain of their parting came forward once again. This made the circle glow stronger and she could feel his absence like a sting in her chest.

I guess… I really do miss you….

She rued the cruel joke in being able to feel all the negative effects of being in love with someone, and being separated from them, but not any of the positive feelings associated with being in love.

"Xantus! Come to my aid!" she called out and with a strum of her harp the orb disappeared into the summon circle and a long, sleek dragon with pearly black scales and elegant purple wings came through the gate. He shrieked once in triumph after having been dormant for so long.

Sorry, she apologized in thought, hurriedly wiping the dampness from her face. Esther looked into its green eyes and pointed down to Derwin. "Retrieve him," she commanded. Xantus spiraled downward into the ravine in graceful movements and caught Derwin by one of his satchel straps in between its teeth. It then came back to Esther and tossed Derwin aside and stared intently at him, possibly wondering if it could sap the fear from him instead. Derwin was so flustered at being observed by a giant black dragon that he looked as though he was going to wet himself.

No, he's not for eating, she admonished and touched the spirit dragon's nozzle fondly. You wouldn't enjoy it, trust me. Xantus breathed a huff of hot air in response.

"Return," she commanded and the spirit dragon spiraled downward toward the circle, disappearing once again through the gate in a flash. The circle disappeared and even the orb was gone. Now that he was reawakened, his dormant orb was absorbed into the spirit realm. As they were still connected by their pact, she need only redraw the circle and call him back to use his strength again. She looked down at her hands in satisfaction. They were steady now and no longer trembling.

I did it, Marcassin, she thought in triumph.

She looked over to Derwin, still dazed an in a heap on the ground.

"Are you alive?" she asked tentatively. She was satisfied with a few labored breaths and a muffled response. Hopefully he had broken some bones, and he would not be able to get himself into any more trouble before they returned to Al-Mamoon.

Notes: I call it "summoning therapy." We should all have a summoning spirit we can pour our grief and anxiety into and feel better afterwards. Pros: Cheaper than an actual therapist, but beware of backlash from reverse energy flow! Cons: Incorrect casting can cause a high probability of spirit possession….

P.s. Thank you Anonymous for the reviews (I think you might be the only one reading this :-p)