Chapter Nineteen

"i know you care, I know" she yelled out and he looked out the window.."I know cause I...i care too damn it" she yelled as she breathed heavy..He turned and looked at her shocked, almost as she shocked as she felt for saying it but it was true, she did care..

He stood there for a moment trying to digest her words, he didnt know what to say so he said the first thing he could think of.."then I feel sorry for you because your wrong, I dont care about no one but myself and even that is fading quick"

Natalie moved across the room as he quickly looked around, he almost seemed nervous as she neared him.."your lying" she said as her voice shook..

"do you need to hear me say it loud and clear, ok...i dont care about you Natalie, you were a fuck, thats all end of story" he said quickly and she got right in front of him..

"then prove it" she said as she shook slightly, her emotions taking over..

He rolled his eyes at her.."what part of that do you not understand natalie"..he went to walk past her but she got in his way.."i collected on a debt, thats all, thats what I do"

"No thats not it" she said with a trembling voice.."and you know it"

Now he swallowed hard as he looked at her.."you can think whatever you want but the fact of the matter is" he began and she couldnt take it anymore, she had to show him, she had to show herself and so she closed the distance between then and put her hands on his face as he stopped talking in midsentence..

"make love to me" she said with a heavy breath..

"i just told you" now his voice was shaking some and he went to remove her hands off of him and she grabbed them and held her hands there.."dont do this Natalie, your just going to end up being disappointed.."

She searched his eyes.."then let me be the judge of that" she finished as her lips met his and for a second he didnt move, he didnt do anything.."the last thing I ever wanted was to fall for you but its too late, ive already fallen" she said against his lips..

"Your disoriented, confused" he began with heavy breaths..

"I havent been more clear in my entire life, I want you John, not just in my bed,i want you in my life" she finished as she kissed his lips softly.."Make love to me" she whispered against his lips again as she looked into his eyes..

"i cant" he said honestly.."im sorry" he finished as he broke contact with her and quickly got out of the room as she stood there, her heart racing and tears now streaming down her face, she quickly wiped them and then ran after him. He was by the fire place.."do you know why I killed her" he said surprisingly as she stood in the room not saying a word.."it wasnt for power or glory, a demon had taken her over, he had been tormenting her" he said as he remembered that day.."i tried to stop him, I tried to save her but even then I couldnt" his voice cracked with emotion.."when it was all said and done the only way to save her was to kill her and I did, I watched her die in my arms"

Natalie stood there with tears streaming down her face not only from his openess but because she could hear how much he loved her and how much it had devestated him to kill her, she couldnt even image what she would do in that situation. It would tear her apart..

"I led evil to her, I was suppose to keep her safe, to protect her and I failed, she died because of my choices and I have to live with that every day" he finally turned and faced her, she was shocked to see his glossy eyes.."i wont do that again, and I wont do that to you, death and destruction follow me, the best thing you could ever do is stay far away from me" he said honestly..

"you did what you had to, I cant even imagine" she began to say as she walked closer to him.."why didnt you ever tell Michael, why did you let him continue to think that you" she began..

He cut her off.."what was there to tell him, I lived my life doing as my father asked and how did I get rewarded, he allowed this to happen, he doesnt care about me, hell he doesnt even care about you, look at how he allows wars and death to happen all the time, I mean hell natalie were on the verge of an apocolypse and he couldnt care less" he yelled now..

"but that doesnt mean that your a bad person, it doesnt mean that you dont deserve to have a good life and to have someone that cares about you" she said as she stepped closer to him.." I care"

"do you even hear yourself, you know what I have done, what I continue to do and yet your gonna stand here and say that you care about me, im a fucking monster" he yelled loud..

"No your not.. your lost, broken, confused but your not a monster, a monster wouldnt of healed me" she said as she got in front of him, both of them were breathing heavy now..She reached her hand to his face and he flinched for a moment.."I believe in you"

"i dont even believe in myself anymore" he stepped back from her.."Your leaving in the morning" he said as he walked away from her and she stood there completely devestated..

Natalie sat on the couch staring into the fireplace, maybe she was in over her head with him, maybe he really was just too broken for his own good. She sighed as she sat there. For the first time In her life she had actually found someone she enjoyed being with even with all the crazy banter, hell they barely could have a conversation without fighting but yet she was drawn to him and she was fairly certain the feeling was the same even if he denied it, or maybe just maybe she had wanted it to be so and she had imagined it all..

The fact of the matter was that he wanted to die and that just didnt sit right with her, she had spent the better part of her life saving people and what made him any different, sure he was a fallen angel but she was fairly sure she knew why now and it bothered her that neither Michael nor his father, her god had even questioned his motives, they had all assumed he was in the wrong and well that irked her more than anything.. Was her god really that nieve and selfish to turn on his own son? And if so then why was she even trying to do his work, was John right, had he stopped caring for them all?

Natalie got up quick and grabbed a candle from the mantel and headed down the hall, she knew the last thing she should be doing is bothering him, hell he had pretty much made that clear but then again she was a glutten for punishment. She stopped at his door and contemplated what to say or what to do, she wasnt the kind of girl to throw herself at a man, and definitely not when she was being pride got the best of her as she sighed heavily and then headed back into the livingroom..

John sat up in the bed when he heard foot steps and then he could see a shadow outside the door, a candle flickering from under it. It was her, he knew it was and part of him wanted her to burst through that door and force him to take her, his body was already hard with anticipation but then again he knew that what she was asking of him he could not give her, he couldnt give it to anyone..

She only stayed there for a few seconds before turning away from the door and as much as he felt disappointment, he also knew that right now what he didnt need was complications, he had enough of that on his own as it was..

The truth of the matter was that he hadnt stopped thinking about her since he saw her a year ago, the day she had showed up at his door literally begging him to help her brother. He had seen something in her, and it wasnt only her kick ass body even though he kept telling himself that, no there was something else and that is why he had followed her to the cemetary just a few days ago..

It was as if he couldnt get her image out of his mind for the past year, it was eating him alive and no amount of women he banged would sate that and so he convinced himself that he had to take her, fuck her senseless and get her out of his system and now it had been numerous times and yet it was as if the feeling was stronger than ever..

He kicked his feet off the bed now, he never ever thought about women after sex, hell he never thought of women that much period unless he was using it for his own gain..He had healed her today, how had he healed her? He looked at his hands, studying them, usually the ring only brought that kind of power but he didnt have the ring..It didnt make any sense and he quickly shook the thought from his head, the thought that was beating into his head, her words, was he good? The thought was almost laughable, he had spent the last hundred years being anything but, no he wasnt good, he was damned and tomorrow he would pay the price for that and he would welcome it with open arms because maybe just maybe he would find the peace he had been searching for...

Its funny how one can find peace in hell but to him that was all he knew and it was time, he was ready...

Natalie barely got a wink of sleep and by the morning it proved to be just as uncomfortable as the night before. John had barely said two words to her and she honestly didnt know what to say to him. Who was she to stop him from killing himself if thats what he really wanted..

It was still dark when he had emerged from the bedroom, his eyes were back to being cold and unfeeling and she hated how that made her feel.."we need to go while its still dark, the plane is gassing up" he said as she just nodded her head.. She was going back to the states and empty handed, if she wasnt feeling so much self pity right now she may just be upset about the fact but she was tired, emotionally tired and exhausted.. He checked the perimeter of the house not once but twice before saying it was time to go and they headed to his car that was parked out front of the cabin..

Part of her was screaming to tell him that he was worth it, that if he only stopped for a moment he would see but she couldnt bring herself to do that..

He didnt speak during the car ride either and she was absolutely going crazy inside, was this the last time she would see him, would he truly die today? She wanted to cry at the fact but she refused to allow herself..They got to the airport too fast, she had wanted more time even if it was just to watch him drive and ignore her..

But he finally did speak as he got her to the nearly empty airplane lot, just a lone plane with the words Mcbain etched on it.."i have the chef preparing some food for the flight" he spoke and she hated that it had become this and she felt her tears nearly stinging her face as she refused to look at him.."well um" he said as she kept staring out the window, she was seriously about to lose it and she never loses it.."have a safe trip" he said and she quickly opened the car door, she couldnt even find any words to say to him, she just knew that she wanted to get on that damned plane and before he saw the effect he had on her.. She refused to even wave to him as she began a quick jog up the steps of the plane and then she heard his car taking off and not until he was far enough away not to see her tears did she turn and watch his car disappear into the night..

She wiped her face quickly, embarrassed at her outburst as she got onto the plane, right now she could definitely use a drink, hell she could use the whole bottle and she quickly walked to the bar and went to grab a bottle but her body stiffened and her eyes grew wide cause standing behind the bar with a sadistic look on his face, his eyes burning green was none other than Victor himself..

John kept on driving, he tried to think of anything but her. He was absolutely shocked at how he felt right now, was it remorse, guilt? He had to shake the thoughts from his head as he drove to his home, he had a few last minute things to get in order..

"Long time no see darling" Victor grinned, revealing sharp fangs as she went to run, her heart absolutely racing, he was there, Victor was there but when she turned he stood in front of her..""Oh now you just disappoint me" he said as he grabbed her and she tried to fight him off but it was fruitless, he was just too strong.."now now Natalie, you wouldnt want me to have to subdue you, would you" he whispered in her ear and then ran his nose up her neck as he inhaled..."oh how I missed that smell" he grinned..

John had just about gotten to his house on the hilltop when his phone began to ring, he looked at it and saw it was Mitch, he exhaled deep, this was it..

"Hello John" Mitch grinned as he spoke...

"Mitch" he said through gritted teeth..

"do I detect some animosity here" mitch began and before John could say anything he continued.."I have to say you made quite the mess with my boys and your hanging with a slayer, how very disappointing"

"im willing to bargain" John said quickly..

"Oh Im sure you are" mitch laughed a little..."how long do you think you were willing to get away with the slayer, I mean I have to say that you got me there for a minute, especially with that necklace" he grinned some..

"the girl is gone, she has nothing to do with this, this is between you and me" John said quickly..

"Oh I believe she has everything to do with this John but what I cant get is how trusting you were to put her on a plane" his words made John slam on his brakes.."Oh did I hit a nerve"

"what did you do" John felt his heart race dangerously fast, he had called ahead to his plane, he had made sure that all security was checked..

"nothing...yet" Mitch grinned.."now about that bargain"

"I swear to god if you lay one finger on her" John began to yell..

"Oh I wouldnt talk to me in a such a way John, you know I can be very unwelcoming if I need to be" he said seriously..

"where is she" John said through gritted teeth..

"details, details" Mitch laugh.."I can assure you that Victor is taking very good care of her"

"You son of a bitch, I will kill you!" John yelled as he clutched the steering wheel..

"Oh I look forward to you trying, until then" Mitch laughed and then hung up as John slammed on the gas and quickly spun around, heading directly for Mitch's place. His mind was on her, and if Mitch did anything to her, or if Victor did, he would kill them all, every last one of them...

Natalie awoke to her head absolutely pounding and she tasted blood on her lip. The last thing she remembered was kicking and screaming against Victor and then something hard came crashing down on her head, knocking her out..The floor she laid on now was cold wet concrete and she groaned as she blinked her eyes open and very much to her surprise she was in a cell, like an actual cell..

She scampered to her feet as she looked around, it was dark with only a few flood lights on, it looked like a dungeon, she walked to the bars that surrounded her and she grabbed onto them and pulled but nothing, they didnt budge and she was silly for thinking they would..

She knew it was futile to scream and yell, no one would hear her anyways, atleast no one she wanted to hear her, especially not Victor, she quickly searched her jeans for her cellphone..

"Looking for this my dear" she heard a familiar voice and she turned to see a smiling mitch standing there and she quickly backed up.."so who shall it be today, Natalie or Gloria"

"you must be proud of yourself Huh, did you get to figure this out all on your lonesome or did your minions do it for you" she said sarcastically..

"oh I wouldnt be so cocky there Natalie, you may be in a cage but I have the key" he said with a tight jaw..

"so then why dont you just kill me now" she challenged him and he smiled..

"dont tempt me" he smiled tightly.."but dont worry dear in due time you will get what is coming to you"

"Im not afraid of you" she said strongly even though inside she was petrified, she was essentially his prisoner and she honestly didnt know how she would get out of this one, would John find out, would he come looking for her, would he even care?

"always such a fiery girl, always liked that about you Natalie and in a way I respect your balls to the walls attitude" he smiled but there was nothing friendly about it.."Maybe that is what John saw in you" he smiled devishly and she felt her stomach start to turn, the way he said Johns name, this wasnt good.."so tell me Natalie, do you care for the fallen one?"

"go to hell mitch" she spat at him and it landed by his feet and he looked down and then back up, he smiled at her, a knowing smile..

"well this shall be more fun than I expected" Mitch smiled and then turned from her..

"you wont get away with this Mitch, people will come looking for me" she yelled out..

"Like your precious fallen angel" Mitch smiled big as he looked at her.."we'll just see about that"

Natalie felt her heart race dangerously fast as she ran to the bars and grabbed onto them.."i will kill you" she seethed at him but he was walking away, laughing as he did so...She backed up from the bars, how the hell was she going to get out of this one and where exactlly was John?

John skidded to a stop in front of Mitch's place and as he quickly got out of his car, Mitch emerged from the front door, a smile on his face. John walked right up to him, he was in no mood.."where is she" he yelled..

Two rather large demons emerged as well as John looked at them.."Oh come on we can do this like resonable adults, cant we John?" Mitch smirked.."cause I dont know about you but I could use a drink"

"If you did something to her" John began with anger, he didnt care if there was two demons or a thousand, if Mitch did anything to her, he would kill him or die trying..

"now what fun would that be" Mitch shook his head.."come John, lets talk" he then looked at his men.."dont worry John wouldnt want to do anything stupid, now would you John?"

John breathed heavy as he stood there, he could easily take out those demons but then what, Mitch could have natalie anywhere. He gritted his teeth as he looked at Mitch.."Now that is more like it" mitch said nonchalantly as he headed inside.."You still like your scotch on the rocks, correct?" he was messing with him and John was close to losing it altogether but he sucked it up and followed Mitch inside..

He lead John to a study as the two demons eyeballed John and he did the same to them as he walked in the room.."The weather is quite beautiful today isnt it" Mitch smiled as he poured two drinks and John didnt say anything as he stood there.."sit John" mitch said without looking at him..

"what do you want" John wasnt in the mood for games, everything had a price, everything..

"well im trying to see how you feel about this weather" Mitch looked at him now.."dont be rude John, I invited you to my house, I could of easily had my men restrain you"

"and then they would be dead" John said angrily as Mitch smiled..

"must I remind you that the cards are in my favor John" Mitch said dryly.."now sit and drink" he stared at John who inhaled deep and then sat down.."please try the scotch, it is aged well"

"Im not thirsty" John stared at the man..

"well then suit yourself" Mitch said as he slowly sipped his drink..He didnt speak for a moment as he clearly enjoyed his scotch and John just stared at him.."i can see your a man who likes to get down to business" he finally said as he put his glass down..

"what do you want in exchange for her" John said angrily..

"I have to say I am quite shocked that you have taken such a liking to the slayer" Mitch raised his eyebrow at him.."I mean its been a while since your dear caitlyn, oh what a treasure she was" Mitch smiled as John clenched his fists at his side.."such a pity she was taken so young, dont you think, am I hitting a nerve?" he smiled..

"what do you want" John said again, his anger damn near combustable now..

"well frankly nothing if you keep having that tone with me" Mitch played him...

"I came here didnt i" John said with a tight jaw..

"but then again I always knew you would" mitch grinned.."I dont like being played John, actually it insults me greatly"

"well then the feeling is mutual" John said dryly..

"touche" Mitch grinned as he sipped his drink more.."You know I am quite upset to of never gotten to meet the wonderful caitlyn in person, I hear she was just out of this world" he smiled big.."i hope you know that when Karau forced your hand that I made sure that he would pay" Mitch said as Johns eyes got wide.."Oh you didnt know" Mitch smiled.." I mean Karau was just suppose to take her over and bring her back to me but well you know demons they cant be trusted anymore" he smiled as John abruptly stood making his chair slide back on the tiled floor.."sit down John" Mitch warned..

"You did that to her, you had that demon do that!" John was damn near yelling..

"Oh come on you didnt think that karau came up with the idea all on his own" Mitch laughed some.."Now sit before I make you" he said with a tight smile.."Now" he narrowed his eyes at John and against his better judgement he sat now, he was absolutely seething.."Like I was saying" Mitch continued nonchalantly.."i didnt want her dead but I have to say it was quite the bonus for you to go all anti angel, I mean hell it made my job that much sweeter" he smiled as John clamped down on the chair hard, making the wood crack, Mitch smiled.."but enough about that, no use crying over spilled milk, you came to bargain, so lets hear it"

"just tell me what you want" John gritted his teeth..

Mitch grinned.."what I have always wanted, an ally, a right hand man"

"your fucking crazy if you think I will have anything to do with you" he snapped as he jumped up from his seat and within seconds those two demons were grabbing on either side of him as he yanked his arms back and grabbed one of them, throwing him effortessly against the wall as he slammed the other one on the ground, all the while Mitch smiled..

The demon that slammed into the wall quickly got up and within seconds he was back on John but John didnt have patience now as he grabbed out his knife and used it to decapitate the demon as the other one jumped up off the floor and John spun quick, jabbing the knife into his neck..Mitch began to clap loudly as John stood there in a damn near rage.."Bravo John, bravo"

John gripped the knife harder in his hand.."but I would think twice before trying to lodge that thing in me John, remember what hangs in the balance"

"tell me where she is or so help me"John yelled..

"kill me and you will never know and trust me Victor will be all too happy to have his way, actually you should thank me for stopping him from killing her or turning her, he sort of has a thing for her not that I dont understand, I mean, wow she is hot and I bet she is absolutely amazing in bed" Mitch smiled and John got in front of him within seconds and held the knife to his neck..

"how about I just kill you and take my chances" John seethed as he held the knife on Mitchs throat, drawing a bit of blood..

"could you really take another devestating blow John, could you?" mitch stared at him.."put the knife down"

"tell me where she is and I'll let you live" John said dangerously low to him..

"Ok ok you got me" Mitch began quickly as he looked at John and then within seconds John was being thrown against the wall and then held there by invisible restraints..Mitch began to laugh.."Oh boy you should of seen your face John, you really did think you had me didnt you, when will you learn John, no one gets me, no one" Mitch grinned as John tried to fight against the restraints but he couldnt even budge as Mitch began to walk over to him..

"Im going to enjoy tearing you to pieces" John yelled at him..

"Kind of hard to do while stuck on the wall John" Mitch laughed.."but I give you an A+ for effort, truly spectacular"

"You cant kill me" John snapped at him..

"who said anything about killing you, now that would just be plain old stupid and if you havent realized yet John, im not a stupid man, I can spot potential and your almost there" he grinned..

"well you better kill me cause if you dont" John yelled..

"Oh enough" Mitch yelled loud.."your starting to bore me" he said with annoyance..

Natalie paced the small cell, trying to look for anything to get her out but there was nothing and so she did the only thing she could think of, something she hadnt done in years, she got on her knees and began to pray but not to god, to Michael, she prayed for him to save her and to save John..