Yup, this is later than I thought it would be. But it's here!

"Oh no," one of the fencing team members sighed, shaking his head. "Captain Arisugawa is bullying an underclassman. It's like Kaoru Miki all over again, except this time, I don't think there's any romantic feelings. He's just a kid." Miki stepped in to help Tsuwabuki fight off Juri.

"You're wrong," another said, pushing back his indigo locks dramatically. "He's their child. But I'm the father."

"Really?" everyone said, turning towards Ruka.

"Oy, Ruka. Stop sowing idiotic rumors!" Juri shouted across the court.

"You heard me?" he called.

"I wish I hadn't." Juri didn't stop her relentless pursuit of Tsuwabuki.

"Be nice to our son!" he called.

"You're next after Tsuwabuki!" she cried, backing Tsuwabuki against the wall. The poor boy trembled but kept a stiff upper lip. Her foil bent against his chest. "And I won't just be using a foil."

"Rawr!" Ruka laughed. Miki scratched his head sheepishly, looking back and forth between Juri and Ruka. He took out his notebook and made a note, frowning. He started biting the edge of his pencil, then stopped as soon as he realized he was forming a habit. "What you writing there, Scholar?" Ruka asked congenially, putting an arm around Miki's shoulders. Miki turned red, flustered.

"Just notes. Don't bother me, please, Upperclassman Ruka."

"I'm just being friend—oof!" Ruka had been smacked in the stomach with a practice sabre.

"And that's how you do it," Juri said, handing the sabre to Tsuwabuki. "Easiest move to get a player from bothering a Princess."

"I see," Tsuwabuki replied, accepting the sword seriously.

"It happens quite often, so you don't have to stage anything. Miki can vouch for that," Juri said.

"I'm not a Princess!" Miki protested earnestly.

"Then why is Kozue tougher than you?" Juri asked, smiling.

"Interesting," Tsuwabuki said. "If you're a cat, he's like a toy you found."

"From the mouth of babes," laughed Juri. This time it was Tsuwabuki's turn to pout.

"You would know, wouldn't you, Miss Juri?" Shiori asked, joining the conversation. "You have so much experience with little boys." She shot Miki a scathing glance. He blanched.

"Actually, I believe that you taught me all I know. In lies and in truths," Juri responded coldly.

"Watch out for her," Miki whispered to Tsuwabuki. "She's what you call a Witch."

"A witch?" asked Tsuwabuki.

"A Princess gone bad."

"Funny, Juri," Shiori said, stretching out the Leopard's name to emphasize the lack of honorific. "Everyone always calls you the Ice Queen, but you seem to have more flame than frost."

"I'm not in the habit of listening to others I deem idiotic," Juri said coolly. "Especially when it comes to miracles. Now, if you don't mind, I have work to do. Princes don't just appear out of the blue." She started walking out with Tsuwabuki and Miki. "The rest of you, practice is called off for the day."

"Do you have authority to do that?" Ruka asked. "I'm the Captain."

"Not anymore."

"Wha?" he yelled, outraged.

"Your idiotic ego turned in the resignation form." Juri closed the door with satisfaction. "Where to next, Miki, after we change our outfits?" Miki checked his notebook.

"The cafeteria."

"Now, Juri said, filling Tsuwabuki's plate, "as a Prince, you must eat only the finest steak, and lots of it." Tsuwabuki's eyes grew large as Juri added another steak onto his plate on top of the first, and then three more onto her own plate. "But you must not eat it crudely. You must eat it with the greatest care and deportment, with style as if you were modeling. Mickey will show you how." She added a steak to Miki's plate.

"Um, Miss Juri," Miki protested. He looked down at the meat on his plate and then gulped. "I don't eat steak. My stomach gets upset."

"See?" Juri said. "A Princess."

"Actually, I do eat steak," Miki interrupted, wearing a determine look. They sat down, and Miki tucked his napkin into his collar. He took a sip of water, closed his eyes, thanked Dios for the food, and began to cut the steak. He breathed a sigh of relief upon finishing the first cut. He hiccuped, but nevertheless put the piece in his mouth as properly as one could wish. Chewing efficiently all the while, he gave Juri a pointed look as if to prove that he was capable of eating steak in a Princely manner.

"There," he said upon finishing the steak. Tsuwabuki was watching him with a mixture of admiration and incredulity on his face. "And don't forget," Miki told him, holding up a green herb, "to always leave the parsley on your plate." Tsuwabuki nodded emphatically, but his comprehension turned to alarm as Miki's face turned green.

"Are you alright?" he asked Miki. Miki put a hand to his mouth to stop from retching.

"Yes."

"No you're not," Juri corrected, standing and grabbing Miki's collar. "You idiot, trying to look tough. You eat, Tsuwabuki. I'm going to help Miki to the washroom."

"You're allowed in the men's restroom?" Tsuwabuki asked, aghast.

"No," Juri said, "but Princes have to break rules for the greater good." She picked up Miki, princess-style, and marched off to the restroom, leaving in her wake a few hundred gobsmacked students. Tsuwabuki blinked once, twice, then cut into his steak.

"Oy! Tsuwabuki-kun!" Utena called, hurrying over to sit next to him. Tsuwabuki noticed than Utena was carrying on her tray, not a steak, but the Purple Pleasing Princess Parfait, a dessert made with blackberries, lavender cookies, and vanilla bean ice cream with sparkly syrup. "How are you doing?"

"Pardon me, Miss Tenjou," Tsuwabuki said, "but why are you eating that?"

"Himemiya realized she didn't want it," Tenjou said, shoveling a spoon of the dessert into her mouth, "so I told her I would eat it. No need to waste calories. I'm helping out the girl's croquette team today after school."

"But… that's not a lot of exercise, is it?"

"It's still exercise. I also wanted to practice fencing. I don't even know the difference between a foil and a saber." Utena scratched her head, laughing.

"How is it?" Tsuwabuki asked, pointing to the parfait.

"It's terrific!" Utena replied, her eyes dreamy.

"No steak?"

"Naw. Too fatty for me. Hey, what would you think, Tsuwabuki, if I got my hair cut really short? Like, boy-short, you know? Oh, and are you cosplaying as Nanami or something?"

"Don't cut your hair, and I'm learning how to be a Prince, thank you very much."

"That's swell! I can teach you how."

"No, need, Princess Tenjou," Juri said, putting a miserable Miki back into his seat. "We're teaching him." Tsuwabuki nodded emphatically.

"They know so much more about being a Prince than you do," Tsuwabuki remarked.

"Teach me!" Utena said, turning to Juri, her face pleading and her blue eyes watering.

"Oh my," Anthy said, appearing from out of nowhere as she so often did. "I suppose you'll have to say yes, Miss Arisugawa."

"Oh, fine," Juri grumbled, "although I don't think your naivety can take it."

Six Months Later at the Arisugawa-Kaoru School of Princehood

"So how much did we make this month?" Juri asked Miki, sitting back in a chair carved with lilies and butterflies.

"Five billion yen," Miki replied, "after income tax." He handed Juri the account books.

"Not bad at all." Juri smiled. "Akio Ohtori's school is going down. Gotta hand it to Tenjou and Tsuwabuki. This is a lucrative business."

Miki pursed his lips. He wasn't telling Juri that the profits only lasted as long as she maintained proper morals.