Chapter 2: Castles in the Sky

Now what, I thought to myself. Some guy asks you about your drink and you freak out. That was pretty much typical behavior for me lately.

I wandered down the street, not really going anywhere. Not that there was much to do in downtown Forks. You could get rained on, that was a guarantee in this place, it was a good thing the rain no longer bothered me.

Since it was too late to enroll in college this semester maybe I should try to get a job - a little extra money would be nice. It might not be a bad plan, but what could I do? Unfortunately it did not look like the job opportunities were dropping into my lap. I had a high school degree from the Rez school, but that was the extent of my resume. Plus I had to consider the wolf duties, I was still expected to run patrols.

I could try to get a job at one of the tourist stores that dotted the region. But that might cause a few problems when I had to deal with people - currently my reputation did not lean towards nice girl. It would not take me long to be fired from any job that required interaction with humans. At this point in my life I was not capable of being nice. It was always best for me to be alone, but then that was not good either; when I was alone I had the time to think. Yeah so sue me, I did not know what I wanted.

Right now, at this moment I wanted to go to the beach and see the ocean. I loved the Pacific ocean, I had heard it was considered to be calm but I had never seen that. No matter when I look at the water it is always in motion. I could sit for hours on the cliffs and feel the spray on my skin from the waves below me. Those were the moments I could feel a little bit like my old self.

I was so tired of feeling this bitterness, it was exhausting.

When I was eighteen I had my entire life planned out, I knew who I was and more importantly who I was going to be. Now all that is gone, and there was not second plan to fall back on. I was not only missing Sam, I was missing the life we would have had together. At this point we would have been attending a community college, working on my teaching certificate so I could come back to the Rez and replace old Mr. Thompson - he had been threatening to retire from teaching for the past five years but there was no one to replace him. My castle in the sky was not grandiose, back then I had humble dreams. They may have been simple but they were mine, and I had plenty of dreams to use as material to continue to build my castle in the sky.

The change was so subtle it took me a while to notice, the foundation of the castle started to weaken; I was too busy adding turrets and towers to see what was going on all around me. Sam got a fever, it seemed a little high but nothing out of the ordinary, but then it would not go away. I tried everything I could think of, even pleaded with him to go see a doctor. I would have done anything to help him, as his future wife it was my job to care for him. The vows we would soon take said in sickness and in health; we might not have officially said the words but in my mind I had already said them to him. I was ready to do my job but his mom intervened, she sent me away; there was a fear that he might be contagious. I was worried sick, it was not good for me being kept away from my Sam. A few days afterwards the tribal elders stepped in, I asked my father to tell me what was going on, but he told me not to worry about it.

"How can I not worry about it?" I pleaded with him, "This is my Sam here."

But he would not budge, he told me Sam would be fine in a few days.

My father's words came true. Just like he had predicted everything went back to normal, for a little while it seemed as if everything would be fine. I continued to build on my castle, I added a moat with beautiful pink waterlilies. Sam was still a little too warm to the touch but he told me it was mono and to expect his fever to come and go. It took me weeks to notice the changes in Sam; it was my fault actually, I was the one who chose to ignore anything that did not go along with my dreams. Sam became more secretive, I would go over to his mom's house but he was never there. He was always talking with the tribal elders. He would disappear for hours on end without telling me where he would go or what he was doing.

"Since when have you become such friends with the elders?" I teased him about it one afternoon, playfully punching him in the shoulder. He turned on me and shouted, I don't remember the exact words but the gist of it was clear, he wanted me to go away. Not once in the four years we dated had he ever shouted at me, I had seen him get angry but he had never raised his voice before. I could feel the fury rolling off of him, for the first time in my life I was afraid of Sam. Between the strange growth spurt that had caused him to tower over me, the muscles he had suddenly obtained, and this temper he had developed; I felt I was looking at a stranger. Construction on my castle was halted while I tried to figure out what had happened to the boy I loved.

"It is part of growing up Leah, people change as they mature," my father told me when he found me crying about it. But I could see the extra line in his forehead, he did not believe the lie he had just told me.

"People change daddy, but they don't do it overnight. Something is wrong." I told him between sobs.

A few days later Sam came to apologize. "I am sorry Lee Lee, please forgive me."

I forgave him of course, but the love I felt for this man had lost some of its sheen. The rose colored glasses I had been looking through had a few water stains on them, probably from all the tears I had shed. For a while it looked as if he was trying to go back to the way things were, but now I was more observant. For example, he stopped talking about saving up for college, which was something we had discussed in great detail on previous occasions. In fact he had stopped dreaming with me, all talk of how we would live our lives together ceased completely. I let it go for a while, he was still mine, at least I could pretend the dreams were still alive. I could fool myself that the castle was still as shiny and bright as it had been on previous occasions.

My best friend and cousin, Emily, had noticed the changes in me during our numerous phone conversations. My parents may not have been able to notice how deeply disturbed regarding the Sam situation but Emily knew me better than anyone else in the world. Then one weekend, tired of my constant denial of there being a problem, Emily came to see me in person. Instead of helping me she unintentionally hurt me more than I would have thought possible. To say my life went down the toilet is an understatement. I could not comprehend what had happened, all of a sudden Sam said we were done dating and instantly started worshipping Emily.

"We have just grown apart," he told me awkwardly, after I went to him crying and practically crawling on my hands and knees trying to figure out what I had done wrong.

I thought he had loved me, but it was nothing compared to how he looked at Emily now. The mixture of jubilance and reverence in his face whenever he talked to her was a sharp stab to my heart, this went beyond heartbreak it felt like chunks of my soul were being ripped out. My castle crumbled all around me, Sam tore it down with his bare hands and there seemed nothing I could do to stop him.

I was proud of Emily for resisting, she was my best friend, my cousin; no matter how much Sam tried to be with her she kept her distance. But then she betrayed me as well, she said yes to him. So now I got to watch as someone else moved into my castle, and lived the life I should have lived.

Fate had taken my dreams and my love, but she was not done with me yet. There was one more thing she could take from me, I had not even realized it was possible but I soon learned otherwise; she took my body. I hit a growth spurt, which was strange for a girl just turned nineteen; then I got the fever. I managed to hide it from my parents for a few days, I felt foolish and did not want them to know Sam had given me mono.

I was hiding out in my room, trying to avoid the notice of my mother but I became a little delirious. I had some strange dreams, I was a wolf running through the woods, feeling the soft moss under my feet, dodging trees and plowing through ferns. I was happy, nothing mattered but the speed and bliss of running. I must have made a great deal of noise because when I came to my mother was giving me a strange look. Her hand was on my forehead.

"We need to meet with the elders." she told me.

"What? Why?" I moaned, it was not embarrassing enough that I acquired mono from my former boyfriend. My mother wanted me to tell the tribal elders about it, my father did not need to know this!

To my utter shock and mortification Sam was there when my mother took me to an emergency tribal elders meeting.

My humiliation was soon forgotten as they told me I did not have mono.

"Yeah right, ok sure." I told them, "was I passed out longer than I had thought and all of you went to medical school?"

My father cringed at the tone of my voice. I was supposed to respect my elders, especially the heads of the tribe. But come on, why the heck was I sitting here discussing the "kissing disease" with them.

It was then that Sam spoke up with an authoritarian tone I had never heard him use before, "I will explain it to her." And to my utter surprise they gave Sam the floor, without questioning him.

That was the point at which Sam started to take off his clothes. I looked back at the elders wondering if I was still dreaming. They did not seem surprised by Sam's behavior, in fact they all had an expectant look on their faces.

So the final blow fate dealt me? I found out that night I was a wolf, a shapeshifter. Not only was I now capable of shifting into a wolf but I had to join Sam's pack, he was now my alpha and I had to obey all his orders. I actually tried to disobey several times that night but Sam used his alpha voice on me. I was crushed under the power of the alpha, no choice but to obey. No matter how hard I tried I could do nothing but yield over and over again. I was now part of the secret and he would make sure I kept it so, I was not allowed to tell anyone. I would have kept the secret even without the order, why would I betray my tribe? Did they think so little of me? Bitter tears stung my eyes, and I bit my cheek hard enough to draw blood; I soon discovered another trait of the wolf, fast healing. Shifting for the first time was not hard, I just let all my anger out and voila, I was a wolf. That is when the other voices flooded into my mind. The pack was all there with me, greeting me, all happy to see me. They could not fully hide their thoughts form me. They thought I was strange, a freak was the word one of them was thinking. Why would there be a female werewolf? There must be something wrong with me, something broken.

They managed to hide it from me for a few days but I finally demanded to know what this imprinting was. It was then that they explained about Sam, and how he had no choice but to love Emily. He had some crackpot theory about genetics and compatibility. I had a much better bloodline than Emily, he should have imprinted on me.

That is when it started coming out, the venom. Hearing the pity in their thoughts, I could think of no other way to survive. I knew they hated my guts, I knew they wished I had never joined the pack. I did not really care, or so I told myself. My free time became limited as trouble started, we had to do patrols and protect the tribe. It was a duty I could not get away from, Sam would not let me.

When I did get a rare opportunity to be alone and think about things, I could admit to myself if only for the moment that I did care about what the others thought of me. It did hurt me to be unwanted, and deep down I wished that someone would care for me despite all the venom that flew out of my mouth. I hated myself, how could I expect anyone else to love me?

Then my father died. When it rains it pours, or so goes the old saying. It was not pouring, I was in the middle of my own personal monsoon season, and it did not look like it would end anytime soon.

"I am so sorry dear," they all told me at the funeral. Pity in their voices. I know it was my father's funeral and I know it was supposed to be about his life, but what about my life. They all looked at me, "poor little Leah" they muttered to each other, but thanks to my new heightened senses I could hear them. That was the point when my cup overflowed with malevolence . No matter how much I pour out there is always more, it is a bottomless pit of toxins. One good thing came out of all this, at least I was no longer an object of pity. The other members of the tribe walked the other way when they saw me coming. I also knew what the wolf pack was thinking, it was almost pleasant injecting my poisonous thoughts into their minds. They thought if I would just be a little nicer people would not hate me; but I had been there done that and look where it got me. Even my little brother did not want me around, my little brother who can find good in anything or anyone. They did not understand, I was not capable of being nice.

A few weeks back I thought things would get better, when I was able to get away from Sam's pack. For an instant believing I could almost push my head above the noxious cloud that followed me around, but the dark tendrils pulled me back into the darkness I currently resided in.

"Leah," I flinched as I heard my name being called. The problem was not that someone called my name, my problem was with who called my name. Sam.

Sam had stopped his truck a few steps ahead of me and was now leaning out of the open window.

"What do you want?" I did not try to hide my anger at seeing him. He knew I hated his guts, which would have been great, except he also knew I loved him. He opened the door of his truck and jumped out. That is when I noticed he was not alone, Emily was with him.

Oh great what a perfect day, could this get any worse? There was nothing I loved more than watching those two together. Emily had gotten out of the truck as well, I watched as she placed her hand in the crook of Sam's arm. How did that old song go: It should have been me. Sam looked down at Emily with an adoring smile, I alternated between the need to punch someone and the nausea that was threatening to bring back what little of the strawberry shake I had drunk. It should have been me planning that wedding, I don't know why I had agreed to be her bridesmaid. Must have been on crack at the moment.

"We ran into your mother a few minutes ago, she is going to have lunch with Charlie," Emily explained briefly, she had a friendly smile on her lips but it did not reach her eyes. I guess she was scared of me now, or worse it might have been pity. Emily had been my number one confidant, now she was on the long list of people I never wanted to lay eyes on ever again. It was not a particular honor to be on this list, since it did not take much to get on it. I was not discriminatory in my hate.

Emily had the same coloring as I did, with her dark brown eyes and long dark hair; we looked very similar but then we were cousins. I used to have hair like that, before I started to turn into a wolf. Then I had sheared my hair, there was little choice in the matter. The more hair you had as a human the shaggier you were as a wolf, but loosing my waist length hair should have been the least of my worries. At one point Emily and I had been similar enough in size that we could share clothing, that was not going to happen anymore. Not that I wanted to share anything with her, here she was petite and delicate looking next to me, the giant freak.

So I stood there and glared at her waist length braids, jealous of even that. She had everything I wanted, the life I should have had if it were not for this stupid wolf thing. The scar on the face is a nice touch, I thought maliciously. Sam had done that, he had lost his temper once and shifted too close to her. It was one of the reasons he was in such control now; he learned control for his Emily. I stared at the scars on her face, a sneer more than a smile appearing on my own unmarked face. I knew it bothered Emily when people looked at her scars, and I enjoyed disturbing her. However the best part of it was I know how Sam felt about that scar and how much it hurt him to be reminded of what he had done to his one true love. I know I was evil, so sue me.

"So we offered to take you back to the Rez, there is plenty of room in the truck for you," Sam continued where Emily had left off, he was glaring a little at me now.

Oops was I supposed to be paying attention? Pardon me if I no longer sighed over every profound statement that came out of his mouth.

"What?" my vocabulary seemed to be awesome this morning, the book was really helping.

Sam was usually more considerate, he went out of his way to please people. He was a nice guy and had tried to not to cause me any more pain than necessary. I guess sucking up to one of the tribal elders, that would be my mother, outweighed the fact that he knew I did not want to be anywhere near him. Always the good boy, ready to help; at one point it used to be cute, now it was just annoying.

"No way, I would rather walk," I turned away from them and stomped the other way down the street. Not caring which way I went so long as it was away from the happy couple behind me. It was at this point I heard the noise. A motorcycle, a very good one, my wolf hearing could tell it was well tuned, none of that knocking around that sometimes accompanied the poorer quality bikes. I could hear it getting closer, I watched as it appeared around the corner. I did not recognize the bike or the rider. He had a dark helmet on so I could not see his face. The rider seemed to follow my progression down the street and slowed down.

"Leah don't be stubborn," Sam's voice was close, he was not going to let go. Heaven forbid he promise something to my mother and not keep it. I was the only one he broke promises to.

I ignored Sam and continued to march down the street. Out of the corner of my vision I saw the bike doing u-turn and then it stopped next to the curb in front of me so I was heading right towards him. He should be careful Charlie did not like motorcycles and tended to look for any excuse to give them a lecture about bike safety. Fortunately for the biker the chief of police was probably enjoying lunch with my traitor of a mother, so he should be safe for now.

I walked past the biker dude, trying not to make eye contact. I had all the attention I needed, though getting into a fist fight with a biker would certainly suit my mood right now. Unfortunately the way I was feeling right now might be a little unhealthy for him, I might have to kill him.

"Leah I don't know what you think you are going to do," Sam said, he had gotten even closer. "I told your mother we would make sure you got home and that is what I am going to do." The biker boy had distracted me long enough for Sam to catch up with me. Sam grabbed my arm, and I swung back to punch him in the face. I did not pull my punch, I put the full force of all my extra wolf strength behind it. Sam knew me well enough to anticipate the move and easily ducked out of the way.

"Leah." I recognized that distinct voice, I looked over Sam's shoulder. There was the man who ate all his vegetables from the bar sitting on his bike. He had removed his helmet while I was trying to punch Sam, he may have been a few yard away from me but the glint of humor was obvious in his eyes. I could feel the corners of my mouth starting to curl up in response to that look. I watched as he leisurely reached for a compartment behind his seat and pulled something out.

Emily had caught up with us by this time, I noticed her warily eyeing the stranger. She got closer to Sam, his arm around her without having to think about it. Memories of him doing the same thing to me washed over me, and I lost my almost smile. That will never be you, so get over it Leah. My heart started thumping, and I blinked hard to stop the tears.

"What?" I growled at the stranger hoping I would not break down and cry. I knew I should have been a little more courteous, this guy had done nothing to me, it was not his fault my life sucked. Except, he was the one that decided to stop and call out my name. How did he know my name? I so did not need this on top of everything else. Great I now had psycho stalker to add to my list of woes.

"What do you want?" A little voice in the back of my head pointed out that I was being a total bi... um shrew. But that little voice also pointed out that the alternative was crying and so my anger was encouraged.

I watched as Sam shifted his body so that he could be between the biker and Emily. They were now standing so close to each other that I could not help but compare the two men; Sam and this stranger. Sam was surprisingly the shorter of the pair, I had not realized how tall this man actually was. Where Sam fell short in height he more than made up in width, the stranger while not a wimp by any means could not compare to Sam when it came to sheer muscles.

I had to give the stranger some credit, he was either extremely brave or stupid. Most people were usually intimidated by Sam, just because of his size alone. They never ignored him when he was glaring with such vehemence. The stranger took one look at Sam and instantly dismissed him unimportant - instead he concentrated his full gaze on me.

The biker was holding something in his hands, it must have been what he pulled out when he stopped. He threw it in my direction, but before I could catch it Sam intercepted the toss with a dark look at me.

"You're welcome, Princess." Wow I loved that voice, even thick with sarcasm. Maybe I should have asked him to read the menu out loud for me, it might have cheered me up a little. Or gotten you halfway towards an orgasm - down, down girl, this is not the time for that.

"What the heck is this?" Sam growled at the stranger. Then he swung his gaze back to me, "how do you know this guy?" He was turning the object in his hand, it was my father's jacket, I guess I had left it at the diner. The biker must have looked for me so he could return it. That was kind of nice, considering my earlier brusk behavior.

Before I could tell Sam to mind his own business, he continued on with his rant. "Never mind, get in the truck Leah."

I had been busy watching as the stranger swung his both his long legs around so he could lean on the bike and face us more comfortably. I was not paying all that much attention to what Sam was saying. Wow biker boy had really really big feet. All right, so I was a healthy nineteen year old, you know where my mind went after that observation. But then I registered Sam's last words, or should I say command; he had used his alpha voice on me. Thank god that no longer worked, but there was a time not too long ago when I had to obey Sam's every order when he used that voice.

Fortunately for me a few weeks ago Sam had given an order that Jacob Black was unwilling to obey, and the strangest thing happened, Jacob Black became an alpha at that moment. For a few seconds there were two alphas in the pack but then to my surprise and delight Jake got Sam to back down. It seemed that Jake was the more powerful alpha of the two, and Sam had had no choice but to yield. Finally he got a taste of his own medicine. Instead of fighting Sam for the leadership Jake left the pack. In the flurry of voices and activity that followed it took me a while to realize that my little brother followed Jake. It did not take long for me to decide I wanted to follow too. Like I said, anything to get away from Sam.

"Are you trying to give me an order?" I had not thought it possible but I think I reached a new level of rage. My hands started to shake because of the pure fury that was coursing through me. How dare he use his alpha voice on me? He actually tried to use his damn alpha voice on me. I fumed silently, if looks could kill Sam would be dead on the street right about now.

"You need a ride, princess?" the biker guy interrupted. I had been so furious I had forgotten we had an audience. My biker friend was still leaning on his bike, a small smirk on his face. I am guessing he was enjoying the show we were putting on. I opened my mouth to say where he could shove his offer, when Sam interrupted me yet again. He really was asking for it.

"She is not going anywhere with you." Sam spit out through his teeth.

I took a deep breath and took a step back from Sam. It looked like I had two choices: I could either go with the stranger, who for all I know is a serial killer looking to harvest another set of organs, or I could obey Sam and set a bad precedent.

It did not take me long to decide, it was almost too easy a choice. I could take down biker boy with both hands tied behind my back, I was a wolf not a normal girl. However if I back down to Sam he would never leave me alone, he will think he has the power to boss me around. No way. He gave up that power when he left me for Emily. So I did something stupid, I had been doing a lot of stupid things lately. I looked biker boy up and down with the best leer I could muster and said, "Sure."

"You might want to get your jacket, it gets a little cold on the bike," biker boy pointed out, Sam was still holding onto my jacket. "You left it in the diner."

How bad could he be? I thought to myself. He was nice enough to come find me and give me my jacket. I grabbed it out of Sam's hands, I could see them starting to shake. This was an added bonus, I had not seen Sam this worked up in a while.

"What do you know about this guy?" Sam bit out, wow he sounded pissed. I was enjoying it more than I should. There used to be a time not long ago when I would have done anything Sam asked, he would not even have had to give me an order, a smile would have been sufficient. But those times were over and the sooner he got used to that the better it would be for everyone involved.

"Not much?" I had reached the bike by this point. It had taken me a little longer than normal. I may have added a little hip action to my walk, I might as well show off my new long legs, even if I was wearing someone else's old pants. I put on my jacket before swinging a leg over and sitting behind him. He smelled good, like sweat and soap. I was glad he was not one of those guys that felt the need to douse himself in cologne, my wolf senses really appreciated him for that.

"What is your name?" I asked watching Sam's reaction out of the corner of my eye. Pure bliss, that is what this was.

"Phil," he said as he handed me an extra helmet. "Where to princess?"

"Don't really care where, so long as it is away from here." And that was the honest to god truth. Anything to get away from Sam. That was my new mantra.

"Leah Clearwater, if you don't..." Sam started, but I would not let him finish whatever threats he had thought of.

"Careful Sam, we would not want another bear attack. Right Emily?" I turned away from him, to put on my helmet. Phil quickly started the bike, and off we went.

As we took off, I looked over my shoulder. Sam was really shaking now, if he was not careful he would shift right there. So much for his super control. I did not know where this Phil was taking me and I did not care. I just knew I was leaving Sam behind, if only temporarily. One day I will find a way to make it permanent. This was a promise I made to myself.

A/N: Here is another chapter, I have been doing these quickly because all they really need is a bit of rearranging of the words, and of course the correction of the stupid spelling mistakes.

Twilighter: since you keep doing the anonymous reviews this is the only place I can answer. Seth and Sassy are still on, I just can't seem to get into their story right now. I would much rather channel bitchy Leah. But I promise to work on it sometime this week, just for you.