A/N: Hiya, guys! Sorry updates are so few and far between. FCAT testing this week and then going back to school after a week off equals mucho makeup work. Can someone shoot me now?

Yay, Girls Next Door. I'm really very sad with the way things turned out but oh well. Does it surprise anyone that Emmett knows ALL about this? No? I didn't think so.

Another thing, this story does have a major 'le gasp event' I promise you won't be reading fluffy randomness forever. Things go down. I promise you. Patience is a virtue. For all you Edward lovers out there you know how important virtue its.

Today Nessie looked seven. And as she ran around the yard chasing Emmett I decided that, despite her big brown eyes that mirrored Bella's human eyes, she looked more like Edward. She had his hair color, his nose, and even his smile. Her face was an exact duplicate of his only it was softened slightly so it looked more fitting on the body of a girl.

I was thinking about this because Nessie's looking more like Edward could definitely work in my favor. I don't think that Jacob could be in love with someone that resembled his enemy so much.

A pair of arms snaked around my waist, a chin rested on my shoulder, and I felt a warm whoosh of breath on my neck. It left goose bumps.

"Hey, Jake," I said in a giggly voice that I didn't know I had. I turned around in his arms so that he didn't have to haunch over to rest his chin on my shoulder. It just took one smile from me for his whole face to light up. It was the smile that brightened my cloudy skies.

I took in his smile and how it crinkled the corners of his eyes slightly. And how it was evident even in his eyes that he was completely, one hundred percent, happy with me.

And then I took in the rest of him. It was like I had x-ray vision and I was using it to stare right through him, or maybe just through his clothes, even though he didn't wear very many of those. I could see his sculpted chest and abs and even the V that led to things below his cut off jean shorts. Truth be told I'd been thinking about Jacob a lot since that afternoon.

Even though it had only been a week ago I was getting very upset that there hadn't been an encore. I wanted him, no, I needed him. But for now just being around him would suffice.

"Hey, babe," he grinned kissing my lips once and then the tip of my nose.

"Ewww," Rosalie squealed. "Get a room. There are kids present." She was teasing us from her spot on the porch swing. She had her legs stretched out, taking up the entire bench. Rosalie was supervising Ness and Emmett. We needed to make sure Nessie didn't beat him up.

I leaned around Jacob's massive frame so that I could glare at her and childishly stick my tongue out.

It only made her laugh. I watched her go back to staring at Emmett and decided that since she had such blonde hair, and that since she could be such a bitch she would be a perfect candidate for one of Hugh Hefner's many girlfriends. Minus the whole need to drink blood thing she'd fit right in.

"Hugh Hefner?" a voice asked.

Ugh. Edward. I hated the Cullen's bad habit of just popping up and randomly joining your conversations. Since Edward decided to join us, Jake untangled himself from my arms and stood beside me, holding my hand. But Jake was always staring at me sideways and Rosalie just had a goofy grin on her face.

"Leah?" he asked, expecting me to answer him this time. They all just kept staring.

"He rocks. Hef is totally my hero," I started ignoring Rosalie's smirk, Edward's confused look, and Jacob's open mouthed gape. "I love The Girls Next Door."

"Hey, Hef's my hero too!" That was Emmett yelling from the yard, where he was cowering up a tree from Renesmee. She wanted to give him a full blown make-over. It reminded me of Quil with Claire, cept it didn't annoy me as much.

Of course Hef would be Emmett's hero. That's just so Emmett. God, the stories Rosalie had told me about their healthy sex life. I always thought it was unhealthy but that was before I was getting any myself. Oh man. This was so not the time to be thinking about anyone's sex life.

"You watch The Girls Next Door?" This was Jacob, still looking like a boy; all dazed and confused.

"Obviously," I said raising my eyebrows. "I had lots of free time and not many good shows came on. Girls Next Door always had re-runs."

Really, that show saved my life and my sanity.

"I like Holly," Emmett was still hollering from up the trees.

"She was, yes was, long story don't ask questions, Hef's number one girlfriend-"

"And she had a nice rack!" Emmett was yelling some more. And he was being an idiot about it. Nessie was in the yard, Edward was on the porch. Hence Edward scooped Nessie up and fled our 'grown up talk' with the promise of killing Emmett later on.

With the Edward little kid drama done Emmett was on the porch sitting next to Rosalie, who slapped him.

"But yours is nicer, Rosie," Emmett assured her, while Jacob and I looked like I wanted to gag.

"Why don't I know anything about this show? Are there playmates on it?" Jacob was utterly baffled. I suppose he must've felt like not knowing about this show was a crime for guys. But it wasn't like porn. It was the girlfriends of Hef doing really random, crazy things that only the Playboy Mansion girls could get away with.

"One: it was when I was mad at you so you weren't invited to watch the marathons with me," I made point one while Rosalie decided to make point two, "If you keep thinking about sex and stuff while you're imprinted on his daughter, Edward might have you neutered."

"He wouldn't, would he?" Jacob asked, and the he brushed the thought away with the swipe of his hand. "He can read my thoughts. He knows none of them are about Nessie. He wouldn't."

"Oh thank God," Rosalie and I said at the same time.

"Don't underestimate Edward. He's..he doesn't think about sex," Emmett said, rubbing his chin as if he'd pondered this concept countless times.

"Can you read minds now, dear?" Rosalie scoffed, while she tried not to giggle. I had a hunch there was some truth to this implied prude-ness of Edward.

"That's just too much," Jake muttered.

"Don't he and Bella?" I asked.

"I think they study."

I pondered this and shrugged. These vampires were so much different than us wolves. We liked sex a lot. I remember seeing things in the guys heads that would haunt me for years. Well, Sam and Emily stuff haunted me for different reasons. But all of Paul, Embry, and Jareds'(before Kim with random girls, after Kim with Kim) conquests as they called them showed that they really liked sex. Even more than your average teenage boy. And I knew I liked sex.

"How odd," I muttered. This topic didn't really bother me to talk about.

"I'm going to throw up," Jacob tried to relinquish his grip on my hand but I held on, pulling him back so that he bumped into me.

"No, stay here. We'll talk about something else," I assured him, glaring at Rose and Emmett for getting me started.

"The weather?" Emmett suggested.

"Idiot, why not, ummm, pack drama?" Rosalie asked.

"Our pack is like the big stupid Alpha, me, the kid brother, the bastard, and fairy princess. Not much can go on." They all knew I was joking about my nicknames for the boys in my pack. I loved them all dearly. The bastard thing was Embry was just like him calling me a bitch. Our idea of goofing off.

Being in a pack wasn't so bad if Sam wasn't in it. Plus being in a pack with Paul was just as bad because he was annoying and there at the end he and Jake were always going at it. It was something about Jacob not wanting to see him in bed with his sister in such a vivid manner.

"Leah," Jacob scolded me, "There is no drama with our little pack. But with the bigger pack I'm sure things are crazy. I hear that we're supposed to have a get together with them. Like the elders are ordering it."

I had no knowledge of said meeting. And I let Jacob know that I didn't know about the get together and that I had no plans of attending.

"But you have to go," Jacob said, as if I was being ridiculous, "You're not just a part of the pack-"

"Or the girl you're fucking," I added. He growled. Rose and Emmett laughed.

"Shut up," he muttered. "You're my beta and your mom will be there."

"I spent six months with her," I whined.

"Your choice," Rosalie reminded me. When it came to my home confinement she was on anyone's side but mine.

"But," I started to protest again until I was interrupted again. This time it wasn't Jacob it was Rosalie.

"Leah, honey, if you don't go they'll think you're ashamed," Rosalie said in that mothering voice of hers. "Of being with Jacob and not being in the 'real pack'. Do you want them to think that?"

"Or is that how it really is?" Now Jacob was helping her. Emmett was doing that thing he does that makes him feel involved. I think it's called nodding his big, stupid, vampire head.

"Of course not. How could you think that?" I was pissed at them both now.

"Then you'll come with me," Jacob said, smiling. I wanted to be a smartass and tell him that I already had but I held it in.

"Fine, I'll be at the stupid get together, which I'm assuming is a bon fire. Those are the only get together us Quileute's get to have." My voice was bitter and if Jacob hadn't been holding my right hand my arms would have been crossed.

"The other pack will finally know about us," Jacob was like a school boy.

"I'm sure they do."

"They probably think it's a rumor," Jacob shook his head to nullify my previous statement.

"Woohoo, you can tell our parents."

He groaned and I kissed his cheek before running into the Cullen house.

A/N: Yeah, not my best. Lots of sillyness. But I needed to get something up. Review if you read it!