I do not own Homestuck.

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Dave opened his eyes to the sight of his ceiling fan slowly turning and sunlight peeking through the slats of the blinds over his window. His mouth tasted like sand, his body ached, and overall he felt like shit, a result of one too many whiskeys last night, he mused. Usually, he'd drink a glass or two to take the edge off after joining a new case, but one hadn't seemed like enough.

Even so, this particular investigation found a way to invade his mind during the quiet time between consciousness and sleep, releasing a cacophony of thoughts, that disrupted his best efforts to shut out the noise. The images of the brown blood haunted him, and he kept seeing the twisted form of the troll when he closed his eyes. Ever since visiting the crime scene, he contemplated why the chief had called him in on this bullshit case. His hand fumbled around his bedside desk, groping for his sunglasses. He sluggishly put them on and stumbled out of bed. Stipping out of his rumpled clothes from the day before, and letting them fall into a pile on the floor. He hoped a shower, at least, would help him take his mind off the case, even if just for a little while.

Fifteen minutes later he was donned in a fresh suit. Straightening his cufflinks, he quickly checked his phone messages. Five messages, all from the chief. Great way to start the day. Dave let out a groan and headed out the door without bothering to listen to one.

Work, for Dave, was a three story building in downtown in Skaia City. It was one of the best in the precinct and he knew many officers wished they had his job. Dave had grown used to a busy life, in the early days of his career he had enjoyed some work/life separation, and used to have time for friends and a love life. Now, as a seasoned professional, those boundaries had long since dissolved. Work followed him everywhere, whether he liked it or not, like a lost puppy always begging for his attention. He waved a polite hello to the receptionist and hurried through the large double doors toward the center of the station. Horribly late due to several unforeseen circumstances, he tried to be as unobtrusive as possible as he hastened to his desk, snagging a cup of coffee on the way.

"Strider, my office, now" a firm and deep voice ordered him. Apparently, his tardiness was not going to be overlooked this time.

Dave turned to see the stern face of the Police Chief. Lady luck, do you even fucking exist? He quickly dropped his briefcase off at his desk, reluctantly put his coffee mug down, and hightailed it to the chief's office ignoring the curious stares of other officers. "Hey, look, don't be busting my balls." he began prepping his most pitiful sounding excuse. "You see, I was-"

The chief held up his hand to stop the hasty excuse Dave was about to make. "Please, take a seat." The chief motioned for Dave to shut the door and sit down. "Forget about that for now. What have you found out about the ... victim from last night?" The chief seemed uneasy about mentioning the homicide. He rose from his desk and moved to close his window blinds, fumbling slightly with the cord. "This case is probably the most important case that this precinct has ever dealt with. We need conclusive evidence that it was suicide, as Ace Dick states, or-" he hesitated "murder. I need to know, and I needed to know yesterday."

Dave was taken aback at how forward the chief was, to demand an answer the day after the start of a case. Also, to agree with the first assumption a detective makes seemed impulsive.

"Sir, after visiting the crime scene, my initial assumption would be to suggest suicide. There is no hard evidence to suggest otherwise." He continued explaining his observations in line with what Ace had observed. "The coroner is with the body now. I was just about to head to there to retrieve the official report. Nothing to suggest murder, other than the fact that it's a fucking troll above ground." He drummed his fingers on the chief's desk. "Why all the fuss chief?"

The chief sent Dave a cool glare as he returned to his chair and leaned back to regard the detective before him. "The city does not officially recognize or allow any troll to leave the underground, as we call it. For certain diplomatic occasions trolls are allowed above ground. They are monitored and given a human escort for the entire duration of their stay. On even rarer occasions, trolls are permitted to live above ground. Typically, the public has no clue that trolls walk amongst them. This death is something that could cause tension and maybe even hostilities and resentment between our two societies." He added, "This is something that we cannot afford let to happen."

"I understand, sir. However, despite all the weird shit, I still believe this to be suicide. A troll, squatting in an empty apartment above ground, can't take the heat, finds it easier to play superman off his new eleventh story bachelor pad."

The chief sent him a look. "Look, the issue of this dead troll is more serious than you realize. Somehow, whatever system they use for government down there has gotten wind that a troll died on our land. How they found out before I did, is an even better question. Thankfully, they contacted my office directly instead of publicly announcing it. If we don't comply with their demands they've threatened to make this a public dispute.

Dave responded quickly, "Understood, sir."

"I don't think you do," the chief responded flatly, giving him a look. "Due to the severity and political nature of this case you just got yourself a new partner. Your partner arrives tomorrow, you will pick them up and you will work on this case with them. Here is the address and time they will arrive."

Dave glared down at the piece of paper the chief had just given him. "Sir, with all due respect, a partner will just slow me down. Especially one that doesn't know this town like I do. What do you expect them to do? Hang around me looking confused all the time? If this case is as important as you say, I don't have time to show a rookie the ropes."

"Look, my hands are tied in this matter. I want to keep this murder, as well as this investigation, under wraps. And you will not be hosting a rookie, you will have an experienced troll partner who is one of their top dogs down there. I'm sorry to put you through this, you are one of my best detective, but there's nothing to negotiate." The Chief paused, his voice lowered. "We don't want this getting out. The reason you were assigned is because you're the best for the job, you're discreet, and you live a solitary life. The fewer who know about this, the better. If word gets out, then in addition to being up to our asses with Feds, we'll be dealing with the consequences of mass panic from the public. Most people have never seen or even heard of a troll in their life. Get to the bottom of what it was doing above ground, and whether or not it was killed by a human or otherwise ASAP"

Dave's eye twitched and his stomach knotted, but he kept his face blank. "Sir, permission to speak freely. If I'm so great for the job, do I really need to babysit a stick-in-their ass hornhead from underground, who's just going to waste my time trying to tell me what to do?"

The Chief didn't look surprised at Dave's reluctance. "Just be polite, try to work with the investigator and finish this case as quickly as possible. Before you know it, you'll be back on regular cases and the troll will be back where it belongs, underground."

Sighing, Dave pinched his nose, rubbing the area where his sunglasses rested. "Yes sir."

The chief smiled, "Now, that is what I want to hear from my detectives. Remember, you will be picking up your new partner at three a.m., tomorrow morning. Don't be late."

Dave felt like he had just fallen 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a hefty bag filled with vegetable soup as he walked out of the chief's office and eased into his seat in front of a large stack of paperwork on his desk. This is just what I need, a shit-ton of dumbasses busting my balls over something that'll amount to a suicide. It could be a homicide. A small voice in the back of his head chimed in. Dave didn't want to think about how long this case would take if it was a murder.

As Dave tried to finish the overdue paperwork he had from his previous cases, his mind kept wandering back to his current case. He had no clue where to begin, but he knew that he wanted off this case as quickly as possible.

Hours later, Dave was standing before the coroner's office. It was conveniently located in the basement of the station. He knocked on the door to the office before slowly opened it. Looking around he didn't see who he was looking for. He approached the welcome counter and began drumming his fingers on the table top, tempted to use the little bell that would announce his presence. Dave waited for a minute before letting himself into the backroom. He spotted the blond haired coroner who was busying herself with some papers. Dave cleared his throat, loudly.

"So nice to see that I am expected."

The blond gave a slight jump at the sound of Dave's voice. "Dave, I was expecting you but, as usual, you can never arrive in a timely fashion." Sending Dave a smug smile, she proceeded to hand him the folder of paperwork she had been sorting just before his arrival.

"Nice to see you too, Rose," Dave smirked taking the folders without looking at them.

Rose kept her smile,"Let's get to business. I believe what you came here for was how the Alternian met his untimely demise, correct?"

"Alternian?"

"The Alternian, you know... the troll" She paused. Waiting for Dave to catch on. "Honestly Dave, I thought you would have already looked through my preliminary report."

Dave flipped through the papers before shutting the folder with a snap. "Ya, I read it already. Details on anatomy of the dead is fine and all for a macabre-loving girl like you, but I just need a lead. I need some idea on how to continue my investigation," he told her.

She breezed by him and motioned for him to follow her down the hall and into a large room. Pulling on her gloves she uncovered the troll's body which lay on its back on an examination table. "First of all, I want to establish that I am not a confident expert on the anatomy of Alternians, but I do have a source who provided reliable histories, and certain medical practices."

"Oh this is new. A who and not a what? My sis conversing with someone who isn't dead? You gotta elaborate." Dave pestered." Do I have to play big brother and interrogate this new someone in your life?"

She ignored him and continued, "As you read in my report, this Alternian died of blunt force trauma which correlates with how he was found and what you suspect is the cause of death." Rose walked around the table and pointed to specific bruises that were located near the skull and shoulders. "But then I noticed something very peculiar about the face. Contorted and frozen in a look of horror. Also, quite a bit of saline, which I imagine is troll sweat, on the surface of the skin. All of his muscles were knotted from tension. So, I took a chance and scanned the brain and found some unusual hemorrhaging. From the autopsy the brain tissue was torn, which I have never seen before and cannot infer the cause. He must have undergone some kind of extreme mental trauma prior to his death."

Dave blankly stared at Rose, "So…?"

Rose's eyebrows shot up at Dave's response, "So...While it does look like suicide to a human, it could be something more," she murmured as she gazed down at the body before her. Drawing her gaze back to Dave who was furrowing his eyebrows, she quarried, "I could do more research, but it will take time. I will try to get back to you when I can, however, I cannot guarantee a specific date." Pulling off her gloves, she motioned for Dave to follow her back to her office. "I need to close now and I have some cleaning up to do as well as a decent amount of paperwork. You can take that report for your case files, is there anything else that you might need?"

"No, just your report." Dave turned to leave and opened the door to the outside.

"Now, just a minute, Dave. Our business dealings may be done, but now I must discuss personal matters with you."

Dave tensed, he had nearly made it out. He paused at the doorway, waiting for her to go on.

"As you may already know, John has been most eager for all of us to get together. And while I have already accepted his invitation, he claims that you remain quite evasive."

"I know, but look I am busy, alright? I have a lot of shit on my plate and I don't always have time to go to every gathering John has, like I'm the Pope of Prospit."

Rose smiled slightly. "Dave, it would be good for you to see John again. Despite what happened… I know that we've discussed the matter, but you have not discussed the issue with John. Which, I believe you need to, to achieve some form of peace. My university education included psychology, remember."

Dave groaned. "I know, I know. Mom was so proud. Look, it's been lovely catching up an all, but I have to book it."

"I understand why you have been isolating yourself, but John does not. Please consider attending his event next Saturday at the Green Cube nightclub. You do not want to widen the gap that is already between you two." she called out after him.

"Fine…tell him I might be able to attend. Later Rose." Exiting the building he checked his watch and noticed that he had a lot of time to kill before picking up his new 'partner.' Even thinking of the word "partner" made him shudder. Getting into his car, he headed towards the closest bar.

Dave slouched into the wooden bench at the train station. He rested his head over the back and let his legs sprawl out before him. Lifting his watch to check the time, he sighed when he saw he was too early for once. Focusing skyward, he resumed studying the lines of the ceiling, glancing every now and then to the sign that showed the train one he was waiting for was on time, or at least that's what the sign claimed.

The station was mostly deserted at this time of night. He'd seen the typical wandering hobo resting outside the station, and the occasional late night rider, but not the large crowds and noises he was so used too. He let his eyes close as he contemplated today's events, but was soon lulled to sleep by the sound of trains.

He felt heat on his face. Magma surrounded him along with weird crocodile monsters. Large buildings rose up around him. The crocodilian monsters clawed at each other and didn't seem to notice Dave sitting near the edge of the lava. They danced around a large pot of boiling water and paid him no heed. As their jaws snapped down, his head pounded to a rhythmic beat. The pounding in Dave's head became worse when, suddenly, the crocodile monsters turned to him and collectively released a incomprehensible string of chatter.

With a jolt Dave awoke with a gasp, wincing in pain when his neck let out a large crack. He felt stiff and his jaw ached.

What the hell was that? He thought as he slowly repositioned himself on the waiting bench. He brushed back his sleeve up to check the time. Twenty minutes past three.

Great. Probably missed the fucking troll.

Explaining how he had to hunt down a troll in this fucking city would be beyond a headache. He remembered Ace's words, and pressed his hand to his forehead and let out a groan.

A burst of unnerving giggles punctuated the still air.

"Oh! Thank Lusus you awoke. I was contemplating whether you were sleeping or if some vile villain had murdered you. In fact, I was just debating how I should deal with whoever did such a dastardly deed to my new comrade," a voice chimed in from his right.

Dave's head whipped around in surprise, causing his neck to give another loud crack from the sudden movement. He then came face to face with the looming presence of a grinning monster, with red eyes and sharp teeth sitting calmly beside him. The troll giggled again at his reaction, her ash gray skin stretched to reveal more of her sharp teeth beneath her black lips. He quickly regained his composure, letting his eyes adjust to the living troll sitting right next to him.

Geez, they're even freakier when they're alive and grinning at you.

His first observation was that it was female, or it at least looked female, and this did not help defend the belief that all women were man-eaters. A pair of horns, the same candy corn coloration as the victim's, except much smaller, conical and sharper adorned the top of her head. Her jet black hair was short and neat. She wore a light teal jacket with large bright red buttons with a matching pencil line skirt that hugged her rather curvy hips. A red walking cane with a dragon head rested by her side. Everything about her was sharp and angular, yet her gaze was the most unnerving thing of all, and he could only stare blankly into the lenses of her pointy red tinted glasses.

"Thankfully, they said you would wear that red coat or I might never have found you." She continued without hesitation. "You humans all look alike. I am Terezi Pyrope, Lead Legislacerator and I can only assume that you are Dave Strider..."she offered her hand, "Unless there are two people in this place with a coat that smells like delicious red apples." The troll offered a toothy grin,exposing more of her very pointed teeth, as Dave stared at her, not about to shake hands with something that looked like they would devour it. She leaned her head a bit closer towards him. "Does it speak?" He saw her black eyebrows rise above her glasses.

"Just contemplating how I should have worded my will." He began after a moment. "I feel like I'm staring Jaws in the face. You have more sharp angles then a gothic chandelier. Undercover troll, my ass! Seriously, we need some kid-proofing here or little Johnny's going to poke his eye out. I can't afford to get sued. Seriously, I don't even have insurance to cover an ambulance trip to the ER."

The troll leaned back, surprised from the tirade she had just received. "Wow, definitely not a mute, but I do not understand what you are saying. I did not think my jaw was that big and why would a child poke his eyes out? Is that normal when meeting new acquaintances? I will take that what you said about my "angles" as a compliment, however." Her continuous unnerving giggles made his hair stand on end. "Such a fine welcome for your new partner!" She placed a hand on her hip and smiled at him. Keeping her unwavering gaze planted on Dave, she lifted his sunglasses lightly with her cane. "Why do you cover your eyes in the darkness? Seems rather foolish... but also rather stylish. So mysterious and intriguing."

Dave felt his cool slipping again as he was uncomfortably aware of how close she'd leaned in, "Is it a Alternian custom to be so invasive of personal space?"

"What is that?" she grinned inching ever closer.

"You know, getting all up in my grill like it's fourth of July and you're a hungry family of seven waiting for burgers. Dad just nervously continues to flip, doesn't know when they're going to mutiny."

"Hehehehe. You continue to say the strangest things. I was not prepared for your strange dialect." She relaxed back into her seat turning her gaze away from him. "But I know I am going to enjoy working with you in more ways than one..."

He quickly changed the topic, "Let's get you to wherever you are staying while you are here."

"As much as I'd love for you to take me home with you, I want to visit the corpse," Pyrope stated matter of factly.

"Now?" he asked, ignoring the first part of her sentence.

"I'll get more done at night, when I am not so conspicuous around humans. I can settle in during the day. I want to visit the body. You may think this visit was for pleasure, but rest assured Mr. Strider I will assist you every step of the way."

Holding his tongue, Dave decided to go along with the troll without much complaint, reasoning that the sooner the troll looked around and collected information to give to her superiors, the sooner he could be rid of her and this case. He shrugged and stood up.

"Ok fine. Just tonight, then we'll have to work out some kind of schedule later. I'm a night owl, but a lot of people in services aren't. You're lucky I happened to have a key to the morgue."

The troll let out another laugh. "Why, I didn't know my new partner was so interested in the deceased. You have the most interesting hobbies."

Dave made to respond, but instead handed her the report he had received earlier, which she grasped with her long slender fingers.

"I'll debrief you on the case on the way. Also, you're going to have to wear this while you're up here." He took off his scarf and tossed it to the troll. "Tomorrow, we'll work on getting you some make-up or something and maybe a couple hats. Not saying you're ugly or anything, but let's just make life for the workers of ER easier by giving them less patients who have fucking heart attacks from seeing a grinning troll compare them to food products."

Terezi fumbled with the scarf and quickly brought it to her face giving it a deep sniff. Her exhale was full of content.

What a goddamn creep. Dave began to sweat.

She rubbed her face in it before settling it around her neck like he had around himself previously. "Such a beautiful gift, it feels so soft and warm around my neck, and it matches your coat!" she exclaimed happily.

"No, no, it's for your horns."

"Like this?" She missed the point entirely as she wrapped the scarf around her head between her horns. He grabbed the scarf and demonstrated with gestures that it was meant to go around her head like a headscarf doing several of his best vapid lady impressions in the meantime. She just laughed at him before he took the initiative and wrapped it adequately around her head to conceal her horns.

He shook his head as she began to mess with his handiwork. He decided it was time to leave and started to head to his car, leaving her to follow him. Behind him he heard the tap tap tap of a cane. Pausing to turn, Dave saw that the Legislacerator following him with ease, before she paused behind him. "Lead the way, Red Delicious," she said, her piercing gaze just slightly off centered.

"Just call me Strider," he said, exasperated. Then, with a sudden awareness, he realized what it was that made her look so startling.

"It's not polite to stare at a blind girl." She sniffed

"I wasn't staring," he said, continuing to stare.

"For the record, I'm not completely blind, and I won't be a liability."

"Okay, I wasn't asking." he said still staring.

"I have found ways to experience the sensory bouquet."

"Okay, I don't really understand what that means, but okay."

"I'll explain it to you when you're older, Mr. Strider," she chuckled.

"Whatever." He paused for a moment as he debated whether or not he should open the car door for her. "Where is your luggage?"

Without waiting for assistance, Pyrope fumbled with the door handle, revealing her first frown of the night. Dave walked over to her side, but she succeeded after a moment and her toothy grin re-appeared. Triumphantly, she took her place in the passenger seat of Dave's car. "Naturally, the travel-baggage was sent to the place I will be staying while I am here." She stated as she fidgeted in her seat. Dave thought back to the victim's lack of luggage. He was rudely brought to reality when she began playing with the buttons on the door, opening and closing every compartment in his car.

"Will you knock that off, I just finished off the payments. I don't want my ride becoming a junk heap of broken parts," Dave shut her door and sauntered over to the drivers side of the car. "Geez it's like talking to a child," he muttered under his breath. By the time he had put on his seatbelt, his partner had settled down, but had pressed her face against the glass window when he started the car. On the way to the morgue, he told her everything he had learned or observed about the dead troll. Terezi Pyrope remained surprisingly silent, listening to him throughout the entire car ride.