14 - The beginning of the end
Had someone asked me last November where I saw myself in a year, this situation would not have made it on my list of possibilities. A year ago there was no such thing as vampires in my world, for that matter there was no such thing as werewolves.
I was sitting around the dinner table with a group of werewolves and vampires. There was no food on the table, this was not a dinner party. The vampires did not eat, and I could not have held anything down with their stench permeating the entire house. Jake was right, it was possible to get used to the constant burn in the nose, but I still would not have liked it mixed in with my meal.
It was a very nice table, perfectly matching the rest of the white and cream vampire decor. A little too bland for my taste, I tended to like colors a bit more. Maybe I could get Nessie some finger paint, or better yet some permanent makers. That would certainly give the place a little more color. Christmas was coming up and Jake was always telling me to be nice, smiling behind my hand I thought of the damage she would do to this room alone.
Why they bothered with the pretense of humanity? As far as I could tell they did not particularly like being around humans. So why bother with the whole attending high school thing, it was not like they could learn anything new. I did not think they went for the riveting conversations that occurred in a high school cafeteria.
Why did they not all live on a ranch somewhere, raise cattle, and drink the blood of those animals? It would certainly save them the trouble of having to hunt deer, and there would be less chance that someone would find the deer carcass while hiking through the woods. Jake had said it hurt them to breathe the scent of human blood, with my plan they would never have to interact with a human being ever again.
"We long to be normal," Edward told me interrupting my rambling thoughts.
It took me a few seconds to realize he was answering my internal question. I always thought it was kind of rude how he listened to your thoughts, it smacked of eavesdropping.
"I can't help it," he was not acting like he was bothered by the fact. I had heard that it drove him nearly insane that he could not hear the thoughts of his wife.
"Well it would be nice of you to try. Not everyone enjoys you poking around in their heads." I gave him a dirty look. "Anyway, you don't do a very good job." I added, they really did not fit in well with the other humans.
"If we interacted with them too much, the humans might get suspicious." He seemed to be getting a little defensive now. So they did know they sucked at being human.
"Like they don't already know you are freaks." They did not do anything with humans outside of attending classes with them. Esme might as well not exist, she spent so little time around humans. A human woman in her position would have been in Junior League, garden clubs, and president of the PTA.
"Speak for yourself dog," Rosalie joined in on the conversation. I smiled at her, remembering something Phil had told me. Pretty is as pretty does. If you took that into account Rosalie was an old hag. As far as I had seen she took bitch to a whole new level, but then I was not exactly the sweet thing.
I heard Edward cough. I knew vampires did not cough, since the undead did not need to breathe. He was trying to cover up a laugh. Rosalie came to the same conclusion, because she turned and gave Edward a furious glare.
"All right if everyone could have a seat please." Carlisle said as he stood next to the head of the table. "It looks like Phil was a dead end, he seems to know less than Leah."
"At least I think so." Edward interrupted, he seemed unsure of himself all of a sudden.
"What do you mean? Are you not sure?" Carlisle seemed confused, I guess they relied a great deal on Edward's ability to read minds.
Edward cringed and hesitated for a moment. "Phil seems to be really good at multitasking; while he was talking to Leah he was going through the procedure he had performed while he was gone. It was extensive surgery to the face, and was very bloody."
"In other words Edward had a hard time staying in his head." Jake interrupted with a laugh. I glared at him, I did not think this was that funny. We needed to know the truth.
"He has a very good memory with a great deal of attention to detail." Edward told us in a reluctantly admiring tone. I guess he was not used to actually dealing with adult minds, again I was wondering why they bothered with going to school and pretending to be kids.
"So you are not sure?" Emmett asked laughing. Nothing seemed to bother the big vampire, that was a good thing especially when you took his two uptight 'brothers' into account. The stick up Edward's ass had a stick up it's ass, I had never seen a guy as high-strung as Edward. Especially when it came to his wife's safety, he became a complete controlling jerk at that point.
"I was in his mind long enough to know he kind of remembers something about meeting the same three vampires as Leah, but then nothing. It is almost like he can't seem to concentrate on it, which strikes me as inconsistent with his apparent attention to details." Edward was getting even more defensive. But it looked like whatever messed with my head had done the same to Phil.
"I did a background check on him. Pretty much everything checks out. He went to a private high school abroad, then college, medical school, and residency. He was somewhat precocious, getting through college in two years instead of the standard four. He was close to the top of his class throughout most of his education, that is to be expected considering what you saw in his mind. No trouble with the law, but Homeland Security did have him flagged for a while as a traveller to potential terrorist regions. There was a later note in the record that cleared him of suspicion, but the reason was never given." Jasper added his intel to the discussion. I was pretty impressed with how much he had found out.
"What about his personal life? Anything jump out in that regard?" Edward asked.
"Never been married, no evidence of children. He does seem to have a regular roommate. Ophelia Smith, I think they went to the same high school as well as college. They separated after that since she went to graduate school, while he went to medical school. She is currently at U of W, an assistant professor in the biology department. His family seems to keep a low profile but it might just be because they don't live in the states. His parents are not Americans but he was naturalized a few years back." Jasper continued with his summary of Phil's life. "If he is not human he does a better job than we do at hiding it."
"Maybe you should ask him how he does it?" Emmett speculated with a booming laugh.
"Phila," I remembered an earlier conversation with Phil. "He calls her Phila, he mentioned her as a friend."
"I thought I remembered something with that name, Phillip Nelson. He was one of the co-authors in a JAMA article about a new method for using stem cells on a collagen mesh to replenish epithelial tissue in burn victims. The data looks pretty good, I think they planned to move onto human trials soon," Carlisle added.
"Oh I recall the one now, the one about the..." Edward chimed in and off they went into nerd talk. I heard words like interleukin and tumor necrosis factor. I have to admit I kind of tuned them out, science was really not my thing.
"Where is he going when he is leaving the country?" I interrupted when I had finally had enough.
"Not the tourist places. More like places you would not want to walk around without an armed escort." Jasper seemed bothered by this. "But I could not find anything else about it."
We fell silent, I guess we all agreed that the Phil avenue was kind of dead.
"So we are going to pursue this green eyed woman?" Jake finally asked.
"I don't know, there is not enough information, I can't even remember what she looked like." I was getting really frustrated. All of a sudden I could feel an unnatural calm settle over me. "Stop that." I said looking over at Jasper, I could not even get angry enough to feel properly annoyed with him for messing with my emotions.
"We will make it a policy that no one goes into the woods alone, is that acceptable?" Carlisle waited for everyone around the table to either nod or say a yes before he continued. "But I fear there is nothing more we can do. We pursued Phil and came up empty handed. We have no other clues. The only decision left is should we tell the other pack?" Carlisle looked at Jake at this point.
I was impressed, Carlisle involved everyone in the decision making. He also would yield the floor whenever he thought someone else would have more knowledge. I wonder how Sam would feel if I pointed out this strategy to him. I almost smiled at the thought. Sam would not take it well, he always seemed to think he knew best.
Jake actually thought about Carlisle question for while, I was kind of proud of the guy. He was turning out to be a little less impulsive, at first I had left Sam's pack only to get away from him. Now I was starting to appreciate that Jake might some day grow into a decent pack leader. "I still do not think we should include Sam, he has enough information to fuel his paranoia. His pack's numbers are high enough that he does not let them patrol alone. And there is no way to know that this woman is dangerous to us. Maybe to you guys, since she does seem capable of killing vampires."
Things went back to normal for the next couple of weeks, or as normal as my life could get. Though I did try to keep Phil out of the woods, I used the excuse that it was getting too cold.
"Now you worry about warm clothes." He told me laughing, I thought my pride was worth keeping Phil safe. Not that I wanted to venture into the woods alone anymore, much to my dismay I had to cut out my lone nightly runs. I had to push myself to be content by thinking cross legged on my bed.
A few colleges wrote me back stating that it was too late for me to apply for their Spring semester but suggesting I try to apply for their Summer or Fall semester. That made me depressed for a while until I got my first acceptance letter. It was just to some small junior college in the western part of the state, but still someone wanted me. I did not accept it right away, instead I inquired about the financial aid they had available. That would be the deal breaker for me, if I could not afford to pay for school I would not be attending. University of Washington still has not sent me anything and I was getting a little worried. The school really looked good, at least on paper. It was close enough to the Rez that I could get back if anything truly went wrong, but it was far enough away that I did not have to live at home. I was still intent on leaving this place behind, but now I wanted to see the world, instead of escape this place.
"So young, and so impatient." Phil had teased me when I complained about the fact that University of Washington still had not written me back.
I stuck my tongue out at him in response. Not the most mature thing I know, but I could not think of a better comeback.
"I could ask around for you. I have a friend who is a faculty member there?" He offered, ignoring my childish behavior.
"Phila right?" I said before I could remember that this was not something I was supposed to know about.
"Right. Did I tell you about her?" Phil asked, as small crease of concentration appearing in the middle of his forehead as he tried to remember when he mentioned her.
"You did say she liked Mr. Darcy." I recalled him telling me about that. Luckily that seemed to placate him. I did not want to have to explain to him why I knew about his friend. Most people would not appreciate you doing a background check on them behind their backs.
It was a the second week of December, the weather outside was overcast with the threat of rain. The mailman stopped by the store a little earlier than usual. He had a thick envelope in his hand but he did not hand it over to my mother who had gone to greet him. Instead he came over to where I was dusting and rearranging one of the displays. "I thought you might want this now, and I would save myself the trip of delivering it to your house." He told me with a big smile.
I could see that the envelope was from the University of Washington, their logo was emblazoned on the back. So it was not much of a secret that I was waiting to hear from U of W, my mother might have told everyone about it. The envelope was very heavy, much like my other acceptance letters. It did not feel like a rejection letter, those tended to be a little smaller. It did not take that much to tell you they did not want you.
"Well open it," my mother said when she noticed me sitting there just staring at it.
I hesitated a few more seconds, a certain nervousness overcoming me. What would I do if they rejected me? This place had a great reputation both academically and I had recently found out environmentally. They had been rated one of the greenest schools in the nation. I handed the envelope over to my mother. "You open it."
I expected my mother to hesitate like I had but she simply pulled out one of her scissors and ripped the thing open.
"Congratulations Ms. Clearwater, you got in." My mother said in a serious tone after she had looked at the top letter.
I grabbed the pile of papers from her, my hands were shaking so hard I dropped most of them. Fortunately I managed to retain the top one which congratulated me on my acceptance to the University of Washington for the Spring semester.
This might sound silly but I wanted to share this with someone who had actually gone through this process. My mother was happy for me but she did not seem to understand the full extent of my dreams. Neither one of my parents had gone to college, my mother had married my father straight out of high school and they had immediately taken over helping run the family business. I would be the first one in my family to go to college. It had not been necessary for my family before me, things had been simpler a generation ago.
So I called the person who I had spent so much time dreaming next to. The person who I thought might possibly understand what this moment felt like. I know it was just a college acceptance but it was the first step towards the rest of my life. That light I had been eyeing, the one at the end of this dark tunnel was suddenly a lot closer. I called Phil, he would understand, he always seemed to understand. I did not tell him my news, I wanted to do it in person.
"You are coming to pick me up and treating me to lunch." I told him as a greeting.
"Hi Princess, how are you doing?" His laugh telling me he was not upset over my demands. "I will be there in twenty minutes." I liked Phil, he did not get offended when I ordered him around. He seemed to understand when I needed him to just back down and do as I ask. Well all except when it came to navigation, that was one thing he would not back down on.
I heard the smooth motor of his motorcycle eighteen minutes after I hung up on him. I had been watching the clock while I pretended to work on the display. I think I have been dusting the exact same spot since hanging up on Phil.
I met him outside, I was still carrying the envelope with me. I quickly hid it behind my back as he took off his helmet. He swung his leg around the bike and leaned back against it, I had noticed that he enjoyed doing this. I usually took the time to appreciate how long and lean his legs were, but I was in too much of a hurry today.
"So where is the fire Princess?" He asked with a big smile.
"You will never guess what?" I said trying to keep the answering smile off my face. I did not succeed for long.
Phil made the appropriate sounds of excitement, he was satisfactorily excited over the prospect of me going to U of W.
"Hop on, I have lunch ready at the cabin." He tried to hand me my usual helmet, but I declined for the moment.
I ran inside to talk to my mother. I promised to come back later in the evening and clean the boats that were due back this afternoon. "I guess I should have asked if I could leave first." I told her in a bashful tone.
"Drive safely," my mother said eyeing the motorcycle. Phil did not usually bring the bike to pick me up. I could just picture my mother's face if she knew how fast he actually drove that thing.
"Don't worry, Phil is a good driver." As I turned to go, I noticed my mother rubbing her eyes. "Mom?" I asked, getting anxious.
"Don't worry just go." She said turning away from me. My werewolf hearing picked up a watery sniff.
"Mom what is wrong?" I asked getting truly concerned now, my mother never cried.
"Nothing, just my little girl is growing up. It has happened a lot faster than I had thought. It seems like just a few days ago you were running around in pigtails trying to save your dolls from Seth." She turned back to me, I could see the tears streaming down her face now.
I went back to hug my mom. I had not considered that I would be leaving my mother, in a moment of epiphany I saw my situation from my mother's point of view. She wanted me to succeed but at the same time she still loved me and would miss me. It was easy to know that my father loved me, I was his precious little daughter and he had always been much more overt in his expressions of affection. My mother was not like that at all, keeping it all inside. She was much more closed up about her feelings, but that did not mean she loved me any less than father had. I felt my eyes starting to sting as a warning of impending tears, so I blinked to try to prevent them.
"Oh just go, and enjoy your celebration." My mother said hugging me back with all her strength.
I could feel that my efforts to stop the tears were somewhat futile, some traitors had made their way past the brink of my eyelids.
"I will be back soon," I promised my mother.
Phil did not ask about what had taken me so long, he was still propped up against his bike. He handed me my helmet without comment, I am sure my eyes were red rimmed.
It was on the quick ride to the cabin that I truly started to get worried. What if I could not get enough financial aid? Where would I live? What would I do?
"Why do you have all this food made?" I asked suspiciously as Phil placed a plate filled with food in front of me. The meal looked elaborate, too luxurious for an everyday lunch. The meat was surrounded by some sort of pastry and covered with a sauce I did not recognize. The vegetables looked different from the usual peas, carrots and corn I was used to at my mother's table.
"What, you don't think I have all this everyday?" He asked laughing as he sat down next to me.
"No I do not." I looked at him suspiciously. "Explain." I fired the one word command at him a moment before I started stuffing my face. It was really good, table manners be damned.
"Well I might possibly know someone who works at U of W and she might have possibly peeked a little for me." He said with a smile, there was not one ounce of regret in his voice.
"I am pretty sure that is completely illegal." I pointed out.
"I told you nothing is illegal so long as you don't get caught." He explained with a dimpled smile.
"Is that a personal motto?" I asked and could not help laughing. He was such a character at times.
"More like a family motto. By the way nice necklace." He said changing the subject.
"It was my grandmother's, my great grandmother made it for a wedding gift for her." I explained. I had seen through his less than subtle attempt to change the subject but I did not care. I was on a 'I just got accepted to college' high, and Phil's clandestine activities were not going to bother me today. Only one cloud could ruin my sunshine today and that was the whole paying for the college bit.
"Very nice, it is wonderful to have something to help us remember where we came from." Phil gave me a small smile and I pondered what it was that he kept for himself.
Phil seemed to know things, so I decided to ask him about my financial aid.
"Well it helps that you are a girl, and a minority. Sorry, it is just the way things are in the world. What does not help is that your family owns a business. But I would not worry about that part." He lay a comforting hand on my lower arm.
"Hello? It must be nice not to worry about money but some of us have to live in the real world, Mr. Plastic Surgeon." I told him with sarcasm thick in my voice.
"You want me to pay for your school?" He asked casually, but I had spent enough time to recognize the look he gave me. He was much more serious than he let on.
"No of course not. I will make my own way in the world thank you very much." I replied, I did not want to be dependent on another man. Been there done that, have the internal scars to show for it.
"Well might I suggest getting a job? Your best shot is either something on campus because they understand student hours. The other option is waitressing, you are strong and have a good sense of balance. If you can get into a better restaurant the tips can be pretty significant. The hours tend to be later and will not cut into morning classes." He was leaning back on his chair now as he listed my options.
"You have given this a great deal of thought," I laughed at him while considering his suggestion.
Phil had gone all out and had even gotten sparkling grape juice for me, the non-alcoholic kind. I was enjoying the fizzy drink and dessert when the phone rang.
Phil reached over with his long arms and managed to grab the cordless phone that had been left on the counter without getting up. He almost fell over as he tipped the chair too far back.
"Nice," I told him with sarcasm, not that I did not appreciate the way his muscles moved under his shirt when he stretched like that.
"Hi there," Phil said answering the phone, his tone had cooled significantly. He was using his everyone else voice, the one where I swore he was faking his emotions.
"This is Jacob and I was wondering if Leah is still there." It was disconcerting to hear Jake speak with such formality.
"Yes she is, do you want to talk to her?" Phil did not wait for an answer but handed me the phone. "It is your friend Jacob, he wants to talk to you."
"Jake this is Leah, what's up?" I asked still in a happy mood after the news I had just got. Not to mention the dessert I was eating, a concoction of cream, eggs, and sugar. Crème brûlée is what Phil had called it, I preferred the term heaven.
Then Jake said the words that I had not been expecting, the worst words ever uttered in the human language. The words that managed to ruin what I had thought was an indestructible good mood.
"The Volturi are coming." That is all I heard.
I do not know what happened next, I think I dropped the phone because I heard the thunk of it hitting the floor. All I could feel was the shaking of my hands. I muttered something incomprehensible to Phil as I started walking towards the back door. He might have spoken but I was not listening. I was concentrating too hard on making it out of the house without phasing.
I ran out the back porch, maybe a little faster than I should have been able to do had I been a human. I barely made it past the first set of trees before I felt myself burst through of my clothes. It was the fastest I had phased ever in my entire life.
As I ran, I recalled Jake had been at the vampires' house. So I turned in the right direction to make that my destination. I was over a mile from Phil's cabin when I realized I had been wearing my grandmother's necklace. It was no longer around my neck.
I spent a moment mourning the loss of that much history before pushing on towards the Cullen mansion. I would think about that later, for now I had to find out where the Volturi were.
Leah, Leah where are you? I heard my brother call, he was in wolf form.
Seth, I am coming what is going on? I thought back at him.
I almost stumbled in relief when Seth clarified what had happened. It turned out Alice had seen something, had one of her visions of the future. The Volturi had made a decision and were coming with the entire army. Somehow they were using Nessie as an excuse. The feeling of relief at the fact that they were not here did not last long as I comprehended the full import of Seth's thoughts. It might have been foolish of me not to get all the details but I could not seem to get my mind past the vampire army. This would not be the newborns we faced a few months ago, this would be the entire Volturi court. We were talking fully trained vampire warriors.
Alice and her mate Jasper were gone the next day. It is a pretty bad omen when your psychic bails out on you, what the fuck had she seen that made her abandon her family in the middle of the night like a fugitive running from the law.
We had to stay. Jake had to protect his mate and we had to do what we could to protect the tribe, not that it looked success was at all possible. We were preparing for a battle we would lose. That did not matter, we had a job to do, we were the protectors of the tribe and we would do so even if it cost us our lives.
Jake and Sam increased the patrols around the Rez, both in number and in size. I stopped working for my mother altogether. My life became sleep, eat, patrol and repeat as we started making larger and larger circles around the region. Sleep became a luxury rather than a necessity, I don't know how I managed it but somehow I was able to run half asleep.
Phil got neglected as well, at first I did not notice or he may just have been giving me my space. I had called him to try to come up with some sort of explanation as to why I ran from his house.
"My mother collapsed," I explained to him. "She is fine but she gave us a scare." Edward had come up with this explanation, it was handy to know a vampire that was this good at lying.
Phil had been properly concerned but I managed to reassure him. I used the excuse that I would be watching over her more carefully as to why I would not be around for a while.
Alice had predicted when they would come but that was just the main group, Sam wanted us to make sure we were not caught unawares by some early arrivals. Jake was with Sam on this one so we patrolled and patrolled and patrolled.
Then our lives became even more complicated. The Cullens had sent out some invitations, hoping to find allies to help them slow down the Volutri enough to listen to their side of the story. This was major problem for us, even though we understood the need for more allies these vampires were not vegetarian like the Cullens. They still hunted humans to survive; though they did graciously promise to leave the state to find their victims. Like that was supposed to be fucking reassuring, it was ok so long as we did not have to find the bodies.
These new leeches made the hair rise on the back of my neck every time I saw them, I think it was those blood red eyes. I came to appreciate the lifestyle choice the Cullens had made, it could not have been easy for them.
I lost track of the days but one afternoon my mother was waiting for me when I came home.
"Leah," she said with a serious tone.
Despite the fact that I was so tired I was using all my energy to put one foot in front of the other I paused to look at her. She had used the worried mother tone. I diverted my remaining momentum to make myself fall on the couch across for the chair she was sitting in.
"Leah, Phil has stopped by the house several times now. He came to check on me to make sure I was fine after my episode of fainting." I heard her say the word with disgust, but she continued on. She might have understood the need for that lie but she did not like it. "He is getting very worried about you, he was mentioning things like depression or drugs. You need to give him some sort of explanation."
As much as he worried about me, it could not compare to how much I had started to worry about him. The long patrols tended to be tedious with nothing to do but think and run. So when I actually got enough sleep to have cognitive functioning that is all I did: think and worry. What would happen to some lone guy in the woods when the Volturi came through this region? He was alone is the woods with no neighbors, they would never find his body. Then another thought occurred to me, what would happen if one of the vampires currently staying with the Cullens got a little hungry and did not want to make a long trip to another state.
"Leah you need to tell him something, he cares about you and wants to know if you are all right. Just go see him and tell him something, anything. The man has been nothing but supportive of you. To ignore him like this, is a slap in the face." There was something in her voice that I was too tired to interpret.
I heaved myself off the couch realizing I would not get any of the sleep I had counted on this afternoon and headed over to the phone. What the hell was I going to tell Phil? Obviously he had not fully accepted my lies. My mother was right, the man had been especially nice to me when I had needed a friend, this silence was not the way to repay him.
An apology of some sort started to form in my mind but I was not able to use it. I tried both his numbers but was unable to reach him. I was too tired to tell if I was relieved or upset with the delay. Instead I fell asleep on the couch, still holding the phone as my body finally gave up.
A few days later I was running patrols with Seth, when I heard him thinking about why Edward had left a year or so ago. It was pretty impressive what lengths that man had gone to, he had been willing to do anything to protect his wife. Including telling Bella he no longer loved her, so that she could move on and have a normal life.
A plan began to form in my mind, I might not love Phil more than life itself but I did care about his well being. It would be simple enough to implement the same plan that Edward had tried to use on Bella.
It did not work out very well for Edward, in fact it had caused more harm than good. Seth pointed out, but I chose to ignore him.
I could tell Phil I no longer wanted to hang out with some old man. I could make him think I was an immature brat.
I might not know much but I seem to get the impression that Phil always sees the best in you. Somehow I doubt you could convince him of the fact that you are a brat. Seth pointed out, as he ran through a stream, splashing water everywhere with a great deal of glee. It was sickening but no matter what Seth saw the best in every person and situation, even when we were facing certain death he still had not given up hope.
How do you know so much about Phil? I asked him.
Well, I was home a couple of times when he came to check on you. I sort of talked to him some. I am telling you, he will not believe you. Seth was certain of himself, he flicked through memories of sitting on the couch with Phil just talking. Then Seth switched to the memories of what I was like in September. My brother's memories were a lot more charitable than I would have been. I had been a mess, completely lost in my bitter world.
I like you this way much better. Seth explained, comparing the past memories of me to the current ones.
I like myself better this way too. The only issue I have currently is the vampire army. Other than that, everything is just peachy. I ran ahead of him, hoping to outrun the future that was on a collision course with my life.
I did not hesitate too long after making the decision to "break up" with Phil; I wanted to get it over with before I lost my courage. My life would have been so much easier if I had imprinted on him, I could have just told him the full truth and explained why he had to get the hell out of dodge.
No, that would never have happened, Phil was not the type to abandon ship. I cringed at the thought of him trying to help somehow.
I did not call to see if he was home, I just headed there one afternoon. He was cleaning out one of the flower beds behind the cabin. He must have been working for a most of the morning, despite the cool temperatures he was sweating as he pulled up the dead plants and prepared the soil for winter.
He paused in his work and watched me as I approached. There was a feeling that you get when you know you have royally fucked up and now you have to go explain it to your mother. That is what it felt like at this point, as if I was reluctantly heading towards the inevitable lecture.
"Hi," I said in a quiet and hesitant voice. "How are you?"
Phil did not return my greeting, instead he continued to have the stern parent look on his face. I fidgeted and tried to fill the silence.
"So I heard you were looking for me?" It sounded more like a question than a statement. Leah get your act together and get him out of the state.
"You forgot your paperwork for U of W when you rushed out the other day." His constant smile was gone, replaced by the blank expression he had used when we had first met. Had I not been learning all his expressions for the past few months I might have missed the hint of worry behind the mask.
"Oh yeah," I had completely forgotten about that. The light I had been seeing was completely dimmed now. I could no longer detect a glimmer of it anymore, college was out of the picture. Survival was far more important at this point.
"You do not seem too worried about it? Do you not want it back?" He asked getting up from the flower bed and taking off his gloves. The wind shifted and it pushed his scent my way: soap, sweat, and Phil - I would miss that comforting combination of smells.
"Yeah I guess I do need it." College was so far from my main priorities right now, all I wished and hoped for right now was survival.
"I sent in your acceptance for you." He said in a matter of fact tone.
"Excuse me?" I sputtered. Now why did he have to go do something like that?
"You heard me, I also called around. You seem to have missed the deadline for most scholarships. They tend to be given out in the fall. So I contacted some people. Congratulations you now have your tuition fully paid for as well as a stipend to cover your books." The mask was still in place, I almost wished he would yell at me instead. At least that meant I could yell back.
"What? I can't think of that right now." This conversation had not gone the way I wanted it to. He was dangling that carrot in front of me, the dream that I could never attain.
"Why not Leah?" His brown eyes never left my face making it a lot harder not to squirm under his scrutiny.
I had a moment of genius. "I cannot leave now, I have to help my mother. What if she collapses again?" That would be a good enough reason to put my dreams on hold, something a lot more reasonable than killer vampire army.
"You are going to sacrifice your future over an episode of hypoglycemia?" Phil seemed incredulous.
"Look maybe you don't understand family!" I was getting pissed, I was staying behind for my mother and brother and every member of my tribe. I was sacrificing my dreams and more than likely my life for them. But Phil did not understand that, he never would. It was better that way.
"You are using it as an excuse, giving up on a dream before you can have a chance to fail?" He ignored my family comment, not even acknowledging it.
"What do you know?" I lost my temper now and screamed it at him. Anger was preferable over anguish, that would only lead to me crying on his broad shoulder and telling him all my troubles. This was one thing that Phil could not be involved in.
"It is better to shoot for the moon and miss than to shoot for shit and hit it," he stood straight up and looked down at me with a great deal of disappointment. "Currently Leah you are shooting for shit and you will hit it."
I did not have to aim for the shit, it was flying at me all on its own, at vampire speed.
"Look Phil I no longer want to hang out with you. So why don't you just go back to your boobs and butts in California." I told trying to get back on track, this was the reason I was here. Not to discuss my lost dreams with him.
"I believe I should feel insulted at that statement. But I am going to attribute it to whatever crisis you seem to be trying to deal with currently." Phil said with a deep sigh. "Do you want something to eat?"
"No I don't want anything to eat. What I want you to do is leave." The words had to be forced past the large lump that had suddenly developed in my throat.
"So you came all the way over here to tell me to get lost?" He seemed hesitant for a moment, listening to something more than just my words. I watched a flash of understanding or possibly pride pass across his face, but it was quickly gone. "All right, I did have some stuff that needed to be taken care of at work." He acquiesced to my demands. "I will get lost," he smiled for the first time today, the dimples came out in full force.
He agreed a little too quickly and easily, said the voice in my head. Shut up, I told it, he will be safe. The victory seemed hollow, I would miss this man. No not this man, this friend who always believed in me, even when I did not believe in myself.
"One second, I have something for you." Phil said as I turned to leave. "Your christmas gift since I guess I will not be seeing you then." I reluctantly followed him into the house,.
He came down the stairs with a long and narrow velvet jewelry case, it was marked with some fancy jeweler's name that I did not recognize. Inside was a beautiful pear necklace and earring set.
The guilt came on full force, here I was being a bitch to him an he was getting me presents.
"Thanks," I said looking at the earrings with regret. It sucked being a wolf for so many reasons.
"They are magnetic, since your ears are not pierced." He explained making me feel even worse for his thoughtfulness. "Every girl needs a pear necklace, just in case you have to an interview or something along those lines." Of course he would think of my future, and I thought of my past and my grandmother's necklace that had been lost just outside of this house.
I said my goodbyes, and walked out the door before I did something stupid like start crying again and explain about the vampire army that was coming.
I went back a few days later to the cabin, to check on Phil and maybe thank him again for the gift. The house was empty, there was a strong smell of detergent and disinfectant that permeated every room. The computer that had been on the desk was gone, it scared me how well Phil had just picked up his things and left. There was no evidence that he had been here at all. I tried to back door and found it to be locked, I nearly broke down right there.
I cried a little that night, I don't exactly know why I cried. Maybe it was because I had no future. Maybe it was because I had lost a friend. Maybe it was because my wolf life had finally caught up with me and I could no longer pretend to be human. I could now understand why the Cullens tried so hard to fit in. Hoping to recapture a little glimmer of the normalcy, of the possibilities that no longer existed once you became part of the supernatural world.
The two figures watched as the young woman tossed and turned in her bed.
"Sleep peacefully child," the man whispered, and almost instantly she settled down into a deeper sleep. "I hate watching her do this, I wish I could tell her it will be all right."
"She needs to fight through this on her own." The woman finally commented.
"I know but I so want to wrap her up in a protective cocoon and take her away from all this." The frustration was evident in the man's voice.
"You know that would not be best for her. Let her fight her own battles. So she can understand her own self worth."
"I know, but still." He reached over and turned off the alarm clock.
"She will miss her patrols," the woman chided.
"Nothing will happen, at least not tomorrow." The man said his pale green eyes turning suddenly to a deep shade of purple.
"Are you sure? Your visions have been spotty of late."
He nodded as his eyes turned green again, "I am certain, but that does not mean I will stop watching over her."
The woman rolled eyes at him, "I guess I will take first watch. Some of us have a day job we have to get to."
A/N: I know I just updated but I am rushing through to the end, at least this part of the story.
ABarbiestory: You have to love Seth, he is the cutest little thing. I kind of thought it was smart not to tell Sam, he has not sphincter control and would probably have kittens at this point. But I guess now all his glorious paranoia has come to fruition and he has something real to worry about. I sent you a message to answer your Seth story question, I hope that cleared it up.