27 - Phil
Phil drove through the dark streets, the light drizzle gave everything outside the car a hazy quality making me feel like there was no one else but the two of us in the world. Even the streetlights could not seem to penetrate the gloom, they were little more than little yellow fuzzy balls of light. Phil was going at his usual speed down one of the major roads, the only way I could tell he was speeding was the rate at which we passed the other cars. He was silent for what felt like eternity after I asked my question making me worry that he was going to withdraw again - only the fact that he had not pulled his hand away from where his fingers lay entwined with mine gave me hope that he might share something of himself. He had a neutral look on his face as he concentrated on the road. "Has anyone told you about how we fulfill our guardian duties?" Phil asked suddenly breaking the silence.
"No, not really." I said quietly, wondering if he was finally going to be more forthcoming about himself.
"I don't think it is officially a rule but if possible all of us are born on the island, we have the proper facilities and doctors to handle even the most problematic pregnancies." He started talking without pause this time, the speed with which he spoke gave the the impression that he just wanted to get it out and over with. "The genetic modifications make it so that we have a hard time reproducing, our bodies are strong and if the baby is not almost perfectly compatible it is rejected by the woman's body. This is one of the consequences of our alterations, lots of miscarriages and pregnancies straight from hell. We are talking morning, day and night sickness for the entire pregnancy."
I tried not to think too much about what he was telling me, that would come later - sometime soon I would find a way to work through all of my thoughts, but right now I was just gathering intel.
"At birth we do not have our full powers, we have the weakened version of some of them. For us it is just like talking and walking, something you have to learn and practice in order to get better at it. I know humans don't often have clear memories of their early years but I have very vivid ones, from when I was about two or so I can remember everything. We were raised together on the island, all the children of my generation. After we reach our first birthday we are put in a time sink of sort while the family waits for everyone of that generation to finish having children. This is the family's way of ensuring our strong familial bond to each other. Since it can take us centuries to have children keeping us all in a time sink is the only way to raise us together."
At this point I could not help but let out a little laugh, "so do you remember telling your mom that she would change your diapers forever?"
Phil laughed along with me, "actually there is a perfectly good reason why I told her that. When I was little I absolutely loved to run around naked, clothes were too much of a hassle. I think it was my Uncle Sol, he is Kendrick's father if you really need to know, that warned me that if I did not have clothes on a bird would fly by and eat my boy bits."
Hearing Phil say the words 'boy bits' made it impossible to keep silent, my laughter was so loud that Phil could not continue with his explanation.
"Are you done now?" Phil finally asked me when I calmed down a little, his tone dry and not amused.
"Oh come on Phil, you said boy bits." I wiped some of the tears from my eyes, seriously I had not laughed this hard in god only knows how long. I could just picture a little Phil running around naked as the day he was born with his little parts flopping around in the wind. I hope that did not make me a pedophile or something along those lines, I just thought it would be cute to see. Maybe Tamora would have some pictures, if I had kids those sort of photos would be taken and saved for potential blackmail later on.
"Here I am revealing my extremely traumatic childhood memories, and you are laughing about it. The possibility of losing your junk is not a laughing matter, how was I supposed to sit on a potty and let it all hang out? What if a fish swam up and though it was a worm or something. It was much safer to go for the diaper option. It was not until I figured out that boys could pee standing up that I was willing to finally potty train." His smile gave away the fact that he was not really upset with me, and I was very glad because I could not hang out with a guy that did not have a sense of humor.
"As we reach the age of five we are sent off to live among the humans until we are around twenty. We are 'let out' so to speak in order to learn how to blend in, and to appreciate how much different we are from the normal humans. Sometimes we get sent to planets that have a higher percentage of 'altered' humans; but even then we have to blend in and hide our true natures. Only on the island do we get to be ourselves and don't have to watch every action and word. Often while the humans that inhabit other planets may have some modification they are not up to our caliber in terms of quality of genetic enhancement. Most were altered to see what would happen if you tweaked various genes and were merely for observational reasons. My grandmother was altered to see how far you could push the human mind, they figured out the hard way that we get some really nifty powers. She used those powers to escape and decimate several of their labs. Regardless of all that we are trained to integrate with humans, and all the while we are expected to pursue our education. It sounds a lot more complicated than it sounds, mostly we just learn anything and everything we can. It is best to know the fundamentals of most disciplines, for example we learn the basics of linguistics in order to pick up languages faster."
Now that he mentioned this I could recall Jasper Cullen saying something about Phil's ability to blend, he had said that either Phil was human or he was much better at blending in than the Cullen family - too bad for Jasper he had gone with the human option. Only now could I appreciate how well Phil actually faked being human, but it came down to the fact that he had been trained to do this from birth.
"Of course, the family motto. Knowledge is power." I interrupted, my tired mind realized too late that it might stop his story. But I need not have worried, he continued after a brief smile in my direction. I was glad it was only a brief glance considering how fast he was driving through the dark streets.
"Our full powers come in sometime before our twenty fifth birthday, when we start feeling the change we go back to the island. It was worse for me because I have the spirit, our visions kick in at full strength. When we are young we get flashes of strange colors or maybe a picture or two but when it really start working the visions can be all consuming - they usually only visual, but when they get strong enough you can smell, taste and feel what is going on. There were moments when I thought that I was going insane, luckily my mother had gone through the same experience and could guide me through the worst parts. Being able to tell the difference between reality and a vision is an acquired skill, Phila was very handy to have around because if she saw it then it must be real. You have no idea how hard it is to function when you can't remember if you actually had a conversation with a person or if it was just a vision. I learned to push back at the visions and not really pay attention to them, that way I could still act normal while having visions. Of course it is not perfect, I tend to lose my train of thought or appear to gaze off into space, but at least I don't usually completely freeze up. There are consequences to pushing the visions to the back of my mind, the headaches of course and then the loss of sight. At one point my visions became so frequent I had to learn to live without the ability to see."
I tried not to make any noise, not wanting to stop his disclosure but at the same time I partially did not want to hear this story. As long as I had known Phil he always was ready to smile, sometimes without reason. He was the well to do doctor, the charming friend, the happy tourist traipsing through the woods, the sexy guy on the bike. I did not want to know that his life was not always perfect, the fact that he had to struggle to get where he is. As selfish as it sounded if he had to fight this hard, what would that mean for me in terms of my wolf skills? Would there be consequences if I tried to stop phasing and tried to repress my wolf nature?
"We stay on the island for a few centuries depending on how long it takes for us to control our powers." He continued in a quiet voice.
This time I could not help but interrupt. "Centuries?"
"Yes centuries, you do other things than just learn to contain your powers. We usually start building our house and enjoy being ourselves for once. The most important and dangerous part of the training is learning how to jump. Mistakes can be fatal when jumping, so being able to do it precisely is tantamount to our ability to function as a guardian." His voice had become casual, detached almost - I wondered what he was leaving out.
"After gaining enough control to be able to safely jump we become apprentices and get assigned an older set of partners. We fulfill all our duties under their supervision until it is deemed that we are capable of handling things on our own. All in, it usually takes somewhere between four and five hundred years. I used to think it was overkill but I have seen what happens if the rules are changed." His voice had a great deal of regret in it, again I got the impression that this was only the tip of the iceberg.
"What does happen if you get sent out too early on your own?" It was like a car wreck, you really did not want see it but you could not seem to look away. I wanted to know what horrible ways they died if they messed up - and from Phil's tone of voice I knew it was not pretty what occurred when a poorly trained member of the family was sent out to do a job. Yeah I was a sick little girl for wanting to know details.
"Obviously if you don't jump right you can end up inside of a mountain or under water, that of course is instant death. The other problem is when young guardians don't understand the rules, we have a great deal of power and at times it can get to your heard. If severe mistakes are made, a partner team is sent to hunt the person down. There are very few rules in this family and only one punishment." He paused for a moment hesitating. But he did not need to explain, I already knew the answer. Death.
"What are the rules?" This was one thing I definitely wanted to get right. From my understanding one day I might be expected to fully join this family and I wanted to know all the rules. At least so I assumed from this whole binding thing.
"Pretty much do not expose yourself and if you do clean up your mess." That sounded reasonable. "But that will not earn you death, someone older will just come in and pick up after you. The only thing that will earn you death is killing a member of the family."
"Has that happened?" I asked in the lowest of whispers. For a moment I did not think he had heard me.
"It is very rare, we grow up with the knowledge that we must protect our family at all cost. Anyone we take into the family must learn this as well, that was part of the reason that the elders of my family chose to allow the Cullen family and your pack to think that they were going to have to face the Volturi alone - you had to learn the importance of sticking together no matter what."
"A little hint would have been nice, December was a seriously fucked up month for me," I growled at him, unfortunately I could understand his reasoning. I now knew who my allies were and who would have my back; I also had learned the hard way that I was willing to sacrifice my life to fulfill my duty - the offer my mother made had been tempting but I had known the right path to take.
"We had an incident when one of the trainees did not fully learn his lesson of the importance of family." His voice was only slightly louder than the slow purr of the engine of the car.
All right rule number one, do not under any circumstances kill another member of the family. Though seriously you would have to be retarded not to figure that one out, you just have to interact with them for five minutes to realize how important family was to them.
"So what happened after you finished with your final training?" I asked wanting to change the topic, I wanted to get back to Phil. If we were going to be dating it would behove me to learn as much as possible about him. Dating, ugh, that sounded so plebeian. I was currently using all of my stubbornness to push the fact that I had not imprinted on him to the back of my mind - for once my pig headedness payed off, and I was able to concentrate on Phil.
"When we finish we are assigned a territory. It usually consists of a portion of land in a particular slot of time. We keep an eye on the area, and subdue any overt super-human activity. Most incidents go unchecked unless it becomes very obvious that the person is abnormal. Very rarely do we intervene, usually only if one of the experiments gets too powerful and is abusing the humans. Sometimes entire planets will be populated by nothing but alien experiments, we still spend most of our time keeping the weird stuff down to a minimum. Genetics is a funny thing sometimes out of these weak experiment something powerful emerges and starts wreaking havoc, the god complex is not that unusual to see. Person realizes they have powers they come to believe the gods gave them said powers, and then they proceed to use those powers against those around them." He explained with a bored tone, 'been there done that' is what he was telling me. Not that I could not completely relate, some of the leeches had the same problem - humans were nothing more than cattle to them, a food source.
"You kill people?" I asked quietly even though I already knew the answer to his question. Had he not just told me that he did?
"Usually we try to neutralize them in a more subtle way, but if they don't listen we will kill them. They are always warned about what will happen if they continue down their chosen path. They get a choice." He continued in a neural tone, I got the impression it was more important to let an experiment make a decision than it was to try to save some human's life.
"But if they don't do as you demand you kill them?" I asked again, pushing my point home, making him admit that he kills people.
"Imagine if Paul had phased first, now what if there was no tribe to give him a purpose or set rules. What would he have done?" He explained, I still could not detect any emotion.
I understood the point he was trying to make though, not that I saw Paul as being evil. He was not deliberately mean just foolish, but I was able to picture him abusing his power very quickly. "So do some people start acting right with just warning?"
"Yes often they do, since we try to threaten them in the way that best suits their personality. To continue my example with Paul we would just rough him up a little since he seems to understand physical power the best, he would more than likely get a little more cautious since there is something stronger than him out there. Most often our threats are more subtle. But yes if Paul had gone down that path of violence and continued to do so despite a warning the current guardians would kill him."
"So where was your first assignment?" Now that he had admitted killing people I wanted to forget. It seemed hard to reconcile this happy man with a murderer, but then I would have to be put in the same category. I had killed vampires, even though we liked to pretend they were already dead it was still killing. We did it for the greater good, soI could see how Phil could justify taking a life. Unlike Phil, we had not given those newborns a warning.
"Phila and I were sent to a very small colony. In terms of technology it is about two or three hundred years ahead of earth with some reverse engineered alien technology. It was a relatively easy assignment, we did not need to do much - most of the time we mingled with the natives. It was really fun for a while, party at night, and work during the day; keep a very intoxicated eye on the populace. But then it started to get a little frustrating, we never actually got to do anything. Over five hundred years of freaking training and we got to do absolutely nothing."
Maybe it was because I was so tired, but I could not reconcile the Phil I knew with the one he was describing. First of all he did not seem to be the party type, it was impossible to picture him as some keg drinking frat boy. Despite the fact that he had no sense of direction Phil was the type of guy that needed to be outside traipsing through the woods and fighting mother nature head on. It was inconceivable to reconcile this image he was painting of himself with the Phil I knew - my Phil was certain of his place in the world, he was content to the point where just being around him made you feel a little more sure that things were going to be all right.
"Then the boredom slowly transformed into bitterness." He stopped talking for a second, going back I don't know how many centuries in his memories. "Do you know what is the hardest part about being a guardian?"
"I don't know," I told him honestly after a moment of silence, he had paused almost as if he expected an answer.
"Not doing anything at all. We have all this power, but most of the time we do not use it. Instead we force ourselves to sit back and watch, pretending to be nothing more than an ordinary human. That is what we did on this planet, just watched. We watched as people killed each other, it was not our place to intervene since the way they killed had nothing to do with their modified genes; it was just one human killing another. Free will and all that. We are not allowed to intervene when two humans make foolish decisions - we have to let them live with the consequences. We are not guardian angels. We are just around to knock people down if they get too powerful, kind of to level out the playing field."
I could most certainly comprehend the frustration of having all these powers and yet not being able to do anything with them. "Free will?" I asked confused.
"As guardians that is what we are really supposed to protect, we don't protect lives as much as we make sure people retain the ability to choose. We do not help you make the decision either, we just make sure you have a choice."
"I do not understand, why would you not give people advice?" It would be nice to get advice, hell at this point I would love for someone to help me out.
"If I were to give you advice and you took it one of two things would happen. You would fail or you would succeed. If you failed you would blame me for the mistakes and would not be able to learn from the experience. If you succeeded you would give me the credit instead of focusing on the fact that you were the one that accomplished your goal." In a convoluted way that made sense, if it is your decision you are responsible for what happens - I seem to recall Phila telling me something along these lines as well. We were turning off the highway now, getting closer to the house. This conversation would soon end but I did not want it to, for the first time I was getting to know the real Phil instead of the mask he presented to the world.
"Someone from the family noticed my attitude, though granted it was not a giant leap of intuition, most people in my family go through it at some level or another. So we were reassigned to a different territory. This one was much more primitive and required a great deal more hands on care. I could not stand back and watch, I had to get my tools and be out with them in the field before dawn if we were going to grow enough food to survive the winter. It was a good move, I learned to appreciate the smaller things - like having enough food to eat." He laughed a little bit, his shoulders loosening up slightly. Only now did I notice how tense he had been. I could see the need for Phil to get his hands dirty, he always was poking those long dexterous fingers at all sorts of things.
"Another thing that can get to you is the constant need to hide your true capabilities from the people around you. It became apparent that constantly lying to people was a very hard thing to do, you had to remember the lies as well as the truth. It is really hard to be friends with someone when all you do is lie to them. Half truths on the other hand are much nicer, and it becomes easier to stomach telling partial truths than having to constantly lie. After a while you become tired with lying, it might have taken me a while but I finally learned to be satisfied with telling friends and neighbors half-truths. They might not know me fully but I would let them see glimpses.
"It took me a few centuries but I finally found a balance, I figure out that helping people did not always mean putting on my guardian mantle. I could do it while playing human; this alleviated some of the guilt for just sitting back and not saving the world." His laugh was self-directed, he found it amusing that with all his powers it was his human ones that allowed him to make a true difference.
Though I for one was glad for his alien powers, I would have died a while back had he actually been a human.
"We left that primitive place behind several assignments ago. Phila was overjoyed at leaving it behind, she hates going to the ancient places. The women of those times tend to be second class citizens. Though I think the biggest issue was she hated having dirt under her nails. I kind of miss the place and do occasionally go back and hang out with its current guardians."
I could not help but laugh, at the same time I completely could sympathize with Phila. Being a wolf was hard on the nails as well. QVC was not going to be knocking at my door to ask me to be their newest hand model.
I watched as Phil pulled into the garage, there were now two other cars parked inside. Phila's volvo and a Land Rover I had not seen before, the large tires had really deep grooves making me think that it could be driven off the pavement.
"Kendrick's car, he staying at this house right now. But he will be splitting his time between this house and the cabin for the next little bit. We still have not found those vamps." Phil told me before I could even ask. It was nice that he was answering my questions before I had even asked them. For a moment I was suspicious that he was reading my mind, but I trusted him when he had said his family tried not to do this. Anyway, it was an easy enough jump to see the questions in my eyes as I stared at the other two cars.
We headed inside, the house was no longer empty. It contained a combination of some of Phila's things as well as other pieces of furniture I did not recognize. I was going to guess this was Phil's stuff from LA. The large overstuffed leather sofas seemed to be his style. As was the well stocked kitchen that we walked though; Phil really liked his kitchen gadgets, but I was not going to complain considering I was the recipient of the food made using those things.
"So what are you doing tomorrow?" Phil asked me as we walked upstairs. It was amazing how much difference a few pieces of furniture could make in a place. The previous echoing sounds indicating the emptiness were gone, not that this was a home by any means. It had the same impersonal feel of the cabin, there were no pictures of people to indicate who actually lived here. Even the art on the wall was completely abstract, nothing but a few lines on stark white canvases. This was totally different from Phil's house on the island which seemed stuffed to the gills with... well stuff.
"No plans for tomorrow. I don't have to work and school stuff is done for now." I finally answered his question.
"Do you want to go look for a car?" He asked quietly.
I considered my meager savings account and calculated out how much I would need to buy a car. "I don't know if I can afford to buy a car right now." But I needed a vehicle so that I was not constantly being driven around like a child. Soon everyone would have to start work as well and what would happen if no one was available to drive me.
"We can just go look, to see what is available." He spoke quickly as he noticed my hesitation as we walked up the stairs together.
My decision regarding my living arrangements would have to be made quickly. The problem was that I had a choice between getting my own apartment or getting a new car - there was no way I could afford both. Living with Phil seemed to be the best choice, I would have my own set of rooms. I did not think that I could afford to rent a place without a roommate to share the bills, that would mean a human who could not know my secrets. In this house there would be no need to watch myself twenty four seven to make sure that I did not do something 'non-human'; around these people being abnormal was considered the norm. If I continued to work for Mr Peters it would not be too hard to make enough money to pay for a car and the few expenses I had.
The only huge obstacle was my mother, I cringed at the though of telling her I was moving in with Phil. I might be able to use the excuse that I had my own room, but that would not be enough for her.
I was so lost in my own thoughts that I almost missed the light kiss on the lips as Phil murmured "goodnight" after leaving me at my door.
He was walking down the stair by the time I realized I was not going to get anything else form him tonight. Maybe he had not been exaggerating when he said we had gone too far, he really was going to back away. I put it away for later analysis, as I went to shower and headed to bed. I could hear Phil and his family talking downstairs but it sounded really muffled, they must have some serious soundproofing to accomplish that.
My Saturday was spent car shopping, some people might enjoy the experience but I sure as hell did not. Phil had decided to call in reinforcements, and so when I woke up and finally wandered down the stairs I was met with the sight of Aunt Jazz' smiling face.
"Morning darling," she told me in a slow southern drawl. I had previously noted that her accent came and went. I was willing to bet most of the time she exaggerated it slightly, just to mess with people's heads.
Before I could even mumble hi she whipped out with a list of places she had planed on visiting to look for a car, she was disappointed that I had overslept. She had been ready to go hours ago. Phil was able to delay our immediate departure by mentioning the fact that I had not eaten anything yet.
"Why could I not have gone with you?" I whispered at Phil furiously when Aunt Jazz had left the kitchen to go talk to her son Kendrick while I ate something.
"I am a plastic surgeon. I can tell you whether a situation calls for absorbable or non-absorbable suture but I don't know jack about cars; especially used cars." Phil told me in a reasonable voice. "Be grateful I did not ask Rosalie as well, supposedly she is really good with cars."
I did not comment but just glared at him around a forkful of food, I was not going to waste my time arguing with him especially since my breakfast was absolutely divine.
It was well into the afternoon before we found what I was looking for, a used BMW that I loved; it was a bit larger than my VW which meant not as fuel efficient but it was not as bad as I had initially feared.
It was the paying for it bit where things got really bad, Phil and I finally agreed to a compromise. Phil wanted to pay for it, but I would not let him do so; I wanted the car to be mine and not anyone else's. Since it looked like I was more than likely going to be living with him I wanted something that I paid for. He made the argument that it was foolish of me to pay the high interest rates since I had no credit to speak of.
It was Aunt Jazz who finally suggested the solution we were both willing to live with. Phil payed for my car outright but I would pay him back slowly.
"Have Josefine draw you up a contract, that way you can get it on paper." She had added with a smile.
The paperwork to buy the car took forever, sadly I did not get to drive it off the lot. Aunt Jazz was going to take it home and do some maintenance on it, from the glint in her eyes when she told me this I was pretty sure she was going to do something illegal or add some alien technology to it - probably a little of both. She promised to have it available to me early the next morning.
Phil invited me to go out and have dinner with him, so that is what we did. It was over dinner that I brought up the topic of what binding to me actually meant to him. I did not feel it had been explained to me well enough, especially with this spirit thing involved.
"My spirit started showing me glimpses of you a while back, it might not have been big on details but you were there nonetheless. It was nice to consider that I would get to meet someone who I could be completely honest with, someone who would know the whole me and not just glimpses or shadows of what I really was. I started trying to imagine what you were like, but in all my years of wondering I have never come even close to the reality."
"Yeah I am sure messed up bitter bitch with paws was not what you were dreaming of." I told him with a shaky laugh, seriously how could I ever live up to his expectations?
"I have to admit at first I was a little surprised. I could not understand how someone so young could be so bitter, it took me a while to work out what had happened. You were pissed because you had lost hope and someone else had taken over your dream. I realized you were headed down a similar path as I had, feeling like you were no longer a participant in the world. Everyone else got to live but you just got to stand outside and watch."
It was uncanny how well he described my feelings over the summer, I had been pissed that everyone else around me got the happy ending except for me.
"Since I could not send you back in time to the place that made me feel better without having to answer a lot of hard questions, I took you into the woods. So you would see how cool the world around you was, plus it helped that we were not around people." Phil continued with his explanation. I was amazed that he thought we might actually have something in common. "You really were not the mood to mingle with people back then."
Things were starting to make more sense now. "So when do I get to be as freakishly happy as you?"
"I cannot make you happy Leah, only you can make that choice." He was very serious for moment but soon followed this with a smile. "One of your options is to choose to be happy with me."
"Very subtle hint there Phil." I could not help but laugh, though he was right. I was in charge of my own happiness, but it helped that I had a friend like Phil by my side.
We in the middle of considering what to have for dessert when my phone rang, for a moment I contemplated what would happen if I did not answer.
"Your mother," Phil told me, stupid freaking psychic. Why did he have to tell me my future? This is something he could have kept to himself.
I gave him a little half hearted glared before heaving a large sigh. I started to dig through my purse trying to locate the thing, seriously for something that did not get used all that often my purse was completely filled with junk.
"That is not really encouraging me to try that hard to find this thing." I told him as I fished my phone out.
Phil did not look bothered by my statement and even managed to laugh at I pushed the button to answer.
"Leah have you considered calling your mother? Don't you think I was worried, especially with what is running around in the woods?" My mother began without any prompting.
"Hi mom," I interrupted, though I may as well have saved my breath.
"You just let me sit here alone without a word about how you are? or what you are doing" She continued as if I had not said anything.
I knew this was going to be one of those conversations. If you have a mother you know what this "conversation" consists of, pretty much you listen and they talk. If you are foolish enough to defend yourself you will only make it last longer.
It was in the middle of the of her lecture that our waiter came to see what our dessert order was. I made some gestures at Phil, now was the time for him to be a mind reader so that he would know I wanted the bread pudding, well I wanted the cheesecake too, but I did not want to look like a total pig. This was kind of our first date anyway. Leah I hate to break it to you but he already knows you are a food whore. I chose to ignore that voice, it did not know what it was talking about.
"We will take an order of each of your desserts," Phil explained to the waiter. "Anything we don't eat we will just take home," he told me with a wink.
"I love you." I whispered at him after covering the mouthpiece of the phone. I was such a food slut, maybe Phil was right - I would follow anyone that was willing to feed me.
"I can make cheesecake from scratch, it requires two pounds of cream cheese." He told me quietly as my mother droned on, the waiter had disappeared to put in our order. I was only half paying attention to her, but it was hard to do with Phil sitting across the table giving me his full dimpled smile.
For a moment I considered proposing marriage, I mean he did say cheesecake made with two pounds of cream cheese. If a girl who could not cook met a guy that was not only able but willing to do kitchen duty, well it was best for her to make sure he would stick around for a while. - and if she had to put a ring on it, well so be it.
Suddenly a loud voice interrupted my pondering of wether or not Phil would say yes if I presented him with a ring from a Cracker Jack box. "Have you been listening to me?"
"Of course..." I told my mother, then I repeated her last sentence. I had learned that trick from my father.
"You should go see her tomorrow, show her your new car." Phil told me in a really quiet voice.
I considered his suggestion for a moment, it would be the nice thing to do. Last time I was there she had been freaking out over the fact that I had just been kidnapped and I had disappeared again when Phil showed up without properly saying goodbye. It would be good to sit down with her and maybe I could bring up meeting Phil again; it would be good to butter her up first before dropping the bomb of 'hey mom, I am moving in with Phil'. That conversation might have to wait until another day, preferably when I was far away from her.
"Mom, would you mind if I came up there again tomorrow, I had to come back to Seattle for work but I have tomorrow off." I asked her suddenly making a decision.
For a moment I heard the excitement in my mother's voice but then she remembered the vampires. "Is it safe?"
"I will call the boys to see if they would meet me before I get too close to the Rez. I don't think they will mess with a car full of wolves." I told her while watching Phil pointing at himself. I guess he meant he was coming with me as well, I was wondering if it was going to be in the boyfriend or babysitter capacity.
I was surprised, my mother was so worried about my safety she had forgotten the fact that I lost my car. She had not brought it up so I was not going to do so either, I was going to put this explanation off for as long as I could.
"And you can get fitted for your bridesmaid dress, the wedding is only a few months away and Emily has put a great deal of effort into planning it." My mother added, I tried my best not to make gagging sounds.
"Oh goodie," I said in a sarcastic tone.
"Now Leah, you know she is family." My mother started with her usual lecture.
"I will be there, that does not mean I will be dancing for joy." I sure hope I was not expected to do that because I could tell them now they would be vastly disappointed.
"Good, it is not too late. I can call Emily to tell her you are coming. She will be so excite." She was already making plans for my day. After asking her to talk to Emily and set up the fitting appointment I quickly wished her goodnight.
Dessert arrived almost right after I hung up with my mother. We got five plates of yummy goodness. It was a hard choice but I picked the bread pudding first. I grabbed the plate and pulled it in front of me.
Phil leaned back to watch me without picking his dessert out of the pile. I wondered if it would be wrong to stake a claim on the cheesecake as well.
I was halfway through the bread pudding before I remembered my manners. "Would you like to try some?" I asked begrudgingly.
"Hmmm, I think I like my arm attached so I will pass on your not so kind offer for now." He told me after a moment of consideration. I always knew he was smart. I continued to wolf down my food, the pun was intended, the gooey bread, caramel and raisins were delectable.
"You know we can probably ask for another one." Phil said as I considered licking the plate clean. I noticed he had not touched any of the desserts yet.
"Why are you not eating?" I asked him feeling a little self conscious.
"I was going to let you pick first." Phil told me with a smile.
"I already picked," I retorted, pointing with my spoon to the now empty plate in front of me.
"And take second pick too?" He continued to watch me. I was not going to say no and quickly slid the cheesecake plate in front of me. At first I had thought the red sauce they had covered it with was strawberry, but it turned out to be raspberry. The tartness of the fruit really went well with the creaminess of the cheesecake.
"What is that?" I asked pointing to one of the plates with what looked like a layered white cake.
"I believe that is the lemon cake," Phil told me and laughed when I made a funny face. "I take it I can have this one?"
"Yeah go ahead." I generously offered. Who would want bland lemon cake when you can get creamy goodness. Again I thanked whatever alien had given me my wolf metabolism, it was the only perk of this gig.
As we drove home Phil offered to drive me near to the border of the wolf territory, so long as I called my pack to meet me there. I agreed to his terms, since I did not want a repeat of Wednesday's events.
We made the same route as the night before, pulling up into the garage. This time the Range Rover was gone, in its place was a sleek looking Lexus. After safely putting my one remaining dessert in the fridge, chocolate cake in case you are wondering, we headed up the stairs. Just like last night Phil walked me to the door of my room. I got a sense of deja vu as Phil tried to give me the same measly little peck he had given me the night before. We were having none of that bland crap, we had gone on an official real life date together and now I wanted a real goodnight kiss.
As he lowered his head slowly in my direction I narrowed my eyes after glancing down at his arm, they were casually held against his side. Holy shit he really was not going to kiss me the right way. Getting pissed, I decided to take things into my own hand. As he came closer to me I grabbed the back of his head with one hand and his ass with the other. I think I threw him a little off balance as I pulled him down towards me. I plastered both my mouth and body against his but he was being stubborn, and would not open up. Running my tongue across the seam of his mouth to encourage him to let me in did not work either.
"Knock knock," I pulled back and looked him in the eye. Was he seriously going to do this to me?
He leaned his forehead against mine, and closed his eyes. I could both hear and feel his long sigh across my skin. His steady heartbeat had picked up speed, making me certain that I was not the only one affected by this.
"Just so you know this is not going anywhere," he told me quietly.
"Yeah I know, your family or mine is about to come by and interrupt." I replied as I pulled him back towards my mouth. "Your grandmother suddenly decided it has been too long since she has seen you and will be knocking on the front door in about a minute."
"Actually Bee would not bother to knock, what she would do is watch and then tell me what I did wrong," Phil told me with a smile as I felt him relax a little against me.
He moved closer to me, closing the distance between our lips. Parts of me were getting very excited. Down girl, nothing is going to happen, it is just a kiss.
Much to my disappointment Phil did not kiss me the way I wanted, instead he peppered my lips with kisses that never quiet made it fully on my lips. He always seemed to miss, was he trying to piss me off?
I opened my mouth to protest when he dipped his tongue into my mouth and ran it along the inside seam of my lips. This was more like it. But then the bastard retreated after only one sweep, I followed his tongue back into his mouth. He tasted of lemon cake and the mints we had grabbed from the jar as we had exited the restaurant. Lemon cake had never tasted this good, I might consider eating the stuff if it was served up on Phil.
I rubbed my tongue against his before pulling back trying to encourage him to come back to my mouth. I felt the hard wood of the door behind my back as Phil pushed back against me, instead of complying with my wishes he started kissing his way down my chin and neck. Not that what he was doing was a bad thing, his teeth nipped lightly as he moved down the column of my neck before stopping right above my shoulder and taking a bigger bite.
I let out a little yelp, more because of the surprise than the pain. My stomach clenched in need as my body remembered what it felt like that have him place kisses and bites on other parts of my body. Suddenly I could not recall why we had decided that we were only going to do kissing, I wanted everything right now.
Geez Leah, are you going to be one of those girls that puts out on a first date? Hell yes I am, especially when it was Phil and his magical hands. I had been too busy with what he was doing to my neck to notice that his hand had moved underneath my shirt. His long graceful fingers were moving in a lazy circles across my lower back.
When his mouth moved back on mine he finally gave me the kiss I had been wanting. Hooking both hands underneath my ass, he lifted me and roughly pinned me against the hard door. For the life of me I could not have been able to determine what was harder the door behind me or Phil's chest. He might not have big bulky muscles but the ones he did have were strong and hard. I lifted my arms and legs and wrapped both around his body before tilting my head up in order to get a better angle. His tongue make quick deep sweeps into my mouth, causing other parts of me to clench with desire. It was almost embarrassing how wet he could get me with just a few strokes of his tongue. It might have been that the agile movements reminded me of how well he was able to lick another set of my lips. Or it could have been the fact that I was a horny twenty year old.
"Oh hey Leah, I got your car all ready for you." I heard Aunt Jazz say, her voice sounded a little far away. I was determined to ignore it but Phil had other ideas. It was obvious how reluctant Phil was to leave my mouth, he pulled my bottom lip into his and sucked on it a few seconds before letting go.
Aunt Jazz was standing not a yard away casually leaning against the wall. Could she not tell that I was busy right now and did not give a rat's ass about my car?
I heard Phil's low chuckle as he pulled me into a bone crushing hug, I could tell that it was not meant to be arousing but my body decided to interpret it another way. Before he let me go I heard him whisper, "deserted island".
I was ready to go pack my bags when I remembered the promise to go see my mother tomorrow. I went into my room, alone, and wondered if cold showers worked for girls.
Morning came far too soon and I was very grumpy when Phil walked into my room to announce that it was time to get up. I very reluctantly brushed my teeth and pulled on some comfortable clothes, Phil ended up having to pull and tug me in order to get me into my car. Luckily Phil was the one driving today because as soon as he started moving the car I promptly fell asleep.
I don't know how long I would have stayed asleep if it had not been for the fact that my stomach grumbled loudly.
"There are some breakfast burritos in the cooler behind you," Phil told me noticing that I was becoming a little more awake.
I reached over and had finished one before he could tell me about the hot sauce. So I ate another one this time with hot sauce. It was good, a combination of cheese, eggs, peppers and some sort of sausage all wrapped up in a tortilla.
I was eyeing my third one when I felt the car slowing down. I looked up to see Phil pulling over to the side of the road, there was nothing around but roads and the rows of trees. It was a few minutes later that I saw my pack coming out of the woods that I realized we had reached our destination.
"What are you going to do all day?" I asked Phil as he got out of the car and opened the trunk. That is when I noticed the hiking gear and walking stick.
"I am going to do a little bit of hiking." He told me with a smile as he put on his backpack before he headed off into the woods. "Oh yeah there is more food in the trunk."
You did not have to say food twice to my pack members, they immediately started to pull out the foil wrapped burritos and began to inhale them.
Jake and Seth joined me in the car while Quil and Embry ran into the woods. I noticed they had entered the woods in the same place as Phil. Good maybe they would keep an eye on him.
My morning was going well but that was about to change, after going to my mother's house and being questioned about the new car I headed over to Sam's mother's place. Surprisingly my mother took the fact that I had a new car rather well, but that might have been because I failed to mention that Phil was involved in the purchase of the car. It also helped that I could not stay too long since I was expected to go get measurements done for the all important bridesmaid dress.
My mother must have called ahead because Emily was waiting for me on the doorstep when I pulled into the driveway. For a moment she looked like she was about to hug me, but my dirty look stopped her from making that sort of mistake. Everything would be just peachy so long as she understood that I did not really want to be here.
She quickly led me into the kitchen, today the small table was overflowing with bridal magazines as well as ribbons and swatches of cloth. One of our cousins was waiting there as well, Jodie, the one that had gone to the big city to become a fashion designer. For some reason I don't think it worked out as well as Jodie had anticipated.
"Well shit, what have you done Leah?" Instead of saying hello to me she walked around me with a displeased look on her face, " it is a good thing Emily has planned on having me hand make the bridesmaid dresses because you sure as hell would not be able to fit into a dress off the rack." There was not way to reply to her rude greeting so I did not even bother.
Less than fifteen minutes later I was standing around with my hands held out while Jodie was getting all my measurements. Jodie was calling out numbers as she ran the measuring tape across my arms and chest. Interspersed with the numbers was a constant talk about the right color for Emily's wedding dress. I made the ultimate faux pas, by pointing out that white was usually a good color to go with - apparently I did not know anything because there were over thirty shades of white available. I mean seriously who the fuck cared, white was white. So needless to say I was standing there bored out of my mind wondering how long this torture would continue.
"Well you have no boobs, we might have to add some extra padding so that you can actually fill out the front of the dress." Jodie commented as she took my bust measurements. I opened my mouth about to protest, Phil liked my boobs just the way they were. Quickly deciding it would be more prudent not to mention the fact that Phil had felt up my boobs I shut my mouth again. Knowing blabbermouth Emily she would immediately rush over and tell my mother - that was a can of worms that I did not want to open right now.
Speaking of Phil I had not heard form him all morning, I was not expecting him to stroll into the room but a phone call would have been nice. I knew he was a big boy but if a vampire got his hands on him it would not end well, Phil cannot heal as well as I can.
Having worked myself up into a fine tizzy I decided now was a good time to take a break, "hey girls sorry, but I need a minute to make a phone call." I told them as I walked out the door. Pulling my phone out of my back pocket I sent off a quick text asking him if he was all right. The text was the best I could do since Sam was in the house and I did not want him overhearing any conversation I had with Phil.
Everything is fine Princess. I am staying warm. He wrote back less than a minute later.
I could not help but laugh at the warm comment, he was such a dork about keeping me warm. It made no sense especially since he knew I did not get cold. I went back inside, my mood a great deal more cheerful.
It did not take long for the fitting, but then I did not encourage them to linger. But if I had to hear one more comment about the fact that I was too tall or my shoulders were too wide I was going to kick Jodie's ass. Emily must have seen my slightly shaking hands because she encouraged Jodie to finish up quickly.
Since they were feeling generous with me Jodie decided I was going to be the first one outside of her and Emily to see the fabric they had chosen for the bridesmaid dress. I was not a fashionista by any means but even my poor taste could discern that the color they had chosen was god awful. It was a pale yellow green, in my humble opinion it looked like barf. When Jodie showed me how it would crinkle up over one shoulder it was all I could not not to laugh. Oh good chunky barf.
After that little tidbit of knowledge I quickly made my escape and headed back to my mom's house, she had seemed satisfied by the story that a friend had helped me pick out the car. I told her what my payment plan was and even Charlie who had come over for the afternoon seemed to think I had gotten a decent deal. He did not need to know that between Phil and Aunt Jazz it had been insured that I would not get screwed over.
When he had escorted me home Jake had offered to take a look at the car for me. "I don't need you to look at it, Aunt Jazz already did that." I hissed under my breath.
Jake looked disappointed. Yeah he would want to lift the skirt of this car so to speak, but I was not letting any amateurs around my baby. He should consider it an honor that I let him sit in it, I might not be in love with my car but it would take a lot of hours of waitressing for me to pay it off.
I did not really have the opportunity to talk to my mother about Phil since Charlie had decided to spend the afternoon and stay for dinner. Seriously did the man not have his own house or something? So instead of speaking to my mother about about Phil I told them about my classes, work and Jenny. I skirted their questions regarding life in the dorms, I was a coward and not ready to tell my mother about Phil yet.
Dinner consisted of my mother's secret meat loaf recipe, mashed potatoes and green beans. I had to admit it was not the most heart healthy of meals, good thing I was a wolf. It was getting late in the afternoon and I would have to leave soon if I was going to get home at a reasonable hour. Saying my goodbyes to Charlie I walked out the door with my mother.
Charlie offered to get started on the dishes as payment for my mother cooking for him but I think he just wanted to give me some alone time to say goodbye.
"So why did you really come here?" My mother asked as she walked me to my car.
"Why to see you of course, since we did not get to talk on Wednesday." I said somewhat defensively.
My mother must have smelt my guilt because all she did was give me a look.
"So I may have met someone?" I told her more like a question than an answer. Though I guess I had already met him. "But I am still trying to figure out what I am going to do."
My mother gave me a searching look, I do not know what she saw when she looked at my face. I had not lied to her exactly, I was still trying to figure out what to do with Phil.
"You know what happened with Sam..." My mother started.
"Sam has nothing to do with this, he was just a boy trying to deal with circumstances out of his control. This is completely different, I actually see the real man and I truly like him."
"You just don't know how much you want to risk?" My mother got to the point. "Especially since you have not imprinted on him." That last part was a statement, not a question.
If I was going to be honest with myself I would have to admit that I knew Phil well enough to decide: he had character, his priorities were with his family and would be with me if that is what I wanted, and more importantly I knew my heart would be safe in his keeping. Phil would never do to me what Sam had done. There was only one question that I needed to answer: was I attracted to Phil because he was such a safe choice or was it because we really were good together?
A/N: All right girls all done, despite a few hiccups. Well more along the lines of a second sick child, but hopefully we are done with all that. Knock on wood. By the way I hope the explanation Phil gave made it so that he is not that different from Leah, he has just found his place in the world.
In case anyone wants to know I actually do have a cheesecake recipe that calls for two pounds of cream cheese it is really yummy but a real mess to make.
Connect2tjb: Glad you liked it, I expanded the lemony bit slightly, I really need to practice writing them. I just wonder at times how much details people actually want.
ABarbieStory: Hell no I am not doing a wedding, I am supposed to be doing something else, which is what I will be doing for the rest of the afternoon. Glad you liked Phil's parents, Tam is kind of funny. Of course they got interrupted, imagine what would happen if they did not.