Chapter 12:

The clock read 6:00AM. There were fifteen hours left before they headed back to campus.

How could I been so stupid? Why did I have to kiss her? I could have come up with another excuse but instead I had to kiss her. Now she probably hates me!

Elsa shifted in her bed. She had repeated the same words to herself throughout most of the night. The sun would be rising soon which meant she would have to get up. Under normal circumstances, she would have wanted nothing more. After all, waking up at six was part of her normal habitat. This was something different, for her at least. How would she deal with Anna? How would she talk to her throughout the day and along the drive? She couldn't live with her knowing that Anna probably hated her for that kiss. She had to take action; she had to bring everything back to normal. Perhaps if she acted as if nothing happened then Anna would as well. Or maybe she had forgotten about it altogether. Regardless, she needed to fix it.

A smile light up her face as an idea crossed her head. After deciding that she better go through with it before Anna woke up, she looked for paper and a pen, thinking carefully about the words she had to say.

Anna was now pacing around the room; she couldn't sleep, not even if her body desperately wanted to. How would she act around Elsa from now on without thinking about her lips every time she saw her? Would she act like an idiot?

You have to get yourself together, Anna! You can do this! Remember this is the girl you didn't even like in the first place.

Her last thought made her happy. So much had happened between her and Elsa. When she first met her at North Aim, and later when she found out she was her roommate, she never thought she'd end up being here with her. She had fallen for the girl she hated. What a cruel world. But Anna didn't find it cruel at all. She liked the feelings she had for Elsa, that attraction kept her going. She did not like, however, the fact that Elsa would not know about it and even if she did, she would never feel the same way.

Her steps and thoughts were interrupted by a noise, causing her to jerk her body backwards. She approached out of curiosity and picked up the paper Elsa slid under her door.

Elsa.

She held the paper before her. She couldn't bring herself to read it immediately.

Damn, she has a way of getting what she wants.

And another note, how cute.

She opened the folded piece of paper, recognizing Elsa's handwriting immediately.

I'm so sorry Anna.

I promise I'll make it up to you, again.

-Elsa

Anna didn't understand what Elsa needed to be sorry for, after all, the kiss had been all Anna wanted and more.

I can't tell her the truth. I have to play along.

She turned on her phone, thinking of the words she would say to Elsa.

Anna:Looks like history repeats itself.

The response took longer than expected; Anna wanted to believe Elsa didn't know what to say and then remembered her phone was probably still off.

Crap.

She looked for a pen until she finally found one and wrote on the reverse side of the paper.

What do you have in mind?

P.S. Turn on your phone.

-Anna

She practically ran to the other end of the hallway, almost sliding on the wooden floor. Knocking would not be a good idea considering, so she slid the note and ran back to her room. She sat on the edge of the bed, palms on her forehead. The situation she was currently in made her laugh. This could probably be the least of her worries yet here she was, more nervous than ever. She grabbed her phone and looked at Elsa's response.

Elsa:I didn't think you'd be up this early.

Anna:I guess I'm getting used to it.

Of course that was a lie, the only reason she was up was her inability to stop thinking about the previous day's events.

Elsa: Can we talk about yesterday? I feel really bad about it.

Anna: You shouldn't. I completely forgot about it. Until now, of course.

Elsa: Does that mean I don't have to make it up to you then?

Anna: I still think you should ;D

Elsa: Then it's my turn to surprise you.

Anna:I can't wait :)

The tension between the girls disappeared during breakfast. Initially, neither knew what to say to the other, face to face conversation was something entirely different.

"Good morning." Elsa said as Anna walked into the kitchen. She knew she had to be the one to break the ice, things were what they were because of her, after all.

"Morning," rubbing her eyes, the redhead also had to play her part. "What's that wonderful smell?"

"Take a guess?"

"Kristoff taught you too well."

There was a pause and then Elsa replied. "Wait, how did you know I talked to Kristoff?"

Anna shifted her eyes nervously. "Umm... Well I practically had to force it out of him. Hehe."

"Hmm, so you talked about me." She crossed her arms across her chest.

"Don't worry, nothing bad."

"I know you wouldn't, I'm just messing with you." Elsa started laughing as she saw the look of worry on Anna's face.

"Elsa!"

"What? It's funny."

If only I could make you laugh like that all the time.

"I wish you could." Elsa's response startled Anna.

Oh shit, did I just say that out loud?

"Anna, are you blushing?" Elsa was clearly having too much fun.

Anna couldn't bring herself to look up.

"Let's eat, shall we?" The redhead had to chance the subject so she walked passed Elsa and grabbed a mug.

"I see what you're doing." Elsa continued, the widest smile on her face.

"Eating?" Divert course, divert course.

"Have it your way, but there'll be a day when you won't get away with avoiding my questions." Elsa surrendered with a smirk on her face; she knew she didn't lose considering Anna was still blushing.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She said as she chewed a piece of toast, Elsa found it adorable.

"Fine, let's change the subject, miss-i-don't-know-what's-going-on," Elsa was clearly mocking her and Anna gave her a judgmental look. "We could watch a movie after this and have a picnic by the lake later, what do you think?"

"Looks like you've given this some thought and planned it out."

"Well, I did say I was going to make it up to you. I intend on keeping my word."

"Sounds wonderful." She smiled and that was the end of that.

"I can't believe you made me watch that movie." Elsa stared down at Anna who had her head on the blonde's lap.

"I can't believe you had never seen it before, it's 'classic'."

"Don't get me wrong, I liked it but it's very unrealistic. How did she suddenly realize she loved Josh?"

"Well, she couldn't see him with someone else, even if it was Tai."

"Yeah, but... She didn't even like him in the beginning. She seemed annoyed by him."

"You know? Someone once told me that the only thing worse than the person you hate is the person you like."

"I don't think that's how it's supposed to work though."

"How do you think it works, Els?"

"Well, I think you know you love someone when you want to spend a lot of time with them, not when you realize they are spending too much time with someone else. That's jealousy, in my opinion, and egocentric of them."

"Hmm. I never thought about it that way."

"Everything we do is selfish if you really think about it."

"Give me an example." Anna insisted. She had never had a conversation like this with anyone before. Elsa was something else.

"Let's say you do something really nice for someone. Now are you doing it because the other person needs it or because you feel good about doing it? You know what I mean? It's more for self-benefit than anything else. Our consciousness is a selfish thing." Elsa's mindset got Anna thinking.

"Interesting theory, but what about love?"

Elsa thought about it before responding.

"I think it's the same way. You see, when you're in love you want to make the other person happy and you want to make them love you so they can be with you. You do it because you like the feeling it gives you. The question is, what's the main reason for doing it, because they make you feel good or because you love them?"

"That's... Something I'll be thinking about for a while. I never saw it that way but I guess you're right."

"Well, it's just my opinion. That might not be the way things actually work." She shrugged.

"So, let me get this straight. If you view love as a selfish thing, how do you do it? How did you go through it with Carlos and Ian and everyone else you loved?"

"I'm a selfish person, Anna. It's as simple as that."

"You're not!"

"I am, believe me. Everything I've done I've done it for my own benefit."

"I'll make it my life's mission to prove you wrong."

"Impossible."

"We'll see." Anna yawned; the sleepless night was finally getting the best of her.

"You better not fall asleep on me."

"Oh, please. It's your fault anyhow for making me wake up so early every day."

"Right. Let's go by the lake. We should be leaving in a few hours."

It was weird for Anna to think that any other place existed. The weekend with Elsa has been amazing, it had its ups and downs but it was amazing nonetheless. They had only spent about two days in that place but it seemed like a life time. She had completely forgotten about anything that existed before then and did not worry about what would happen in the future. But soon they'd have to go back to reality, and she dreaded that.

The walk to the lake wasn't long at all, considering it was still visible through the house's windows. They settled under a shade of trees, atop a small hill overlooking the lake. "This is breathtaking." Anna said as she stopped and stared before the lake.

"It is something, isn't it?"

"You must have loved coming here when you were a child."

"I guess. I took it for granted most of the time."

They both sat after Elsa placed the blanket on the grass. Anna leaned back on her arms and stretched out her legs. "This has been really nice, Elsa. I'm glad I had the chance to spend the weekend with you."

"I'm glad. You're welcome to come here anytime you want."

"I doubt I'll have enough time for that in the near future. So this was really necessary."

"Look at us, we're not even half way done with the semester and we already need a break."

"I don't know about you but it's been quite stressful."

"Are you kidding? Stressed is my middle name."

"You do have too much on your plate."

"Hmm. I don't see it that way."

"Overachiever much?"

"I guess I just like to keep busy."

"Ha. Yeah, I bet you're thinking about work right now."

"Since when do you read minds?"

"C'mon Elsa, relax a little. Clear your mind. Stop thinking about work every once in a while."

"It's inevitable sometimes... Well, most of the time."

"You just need to let it go."

"What are you doing?" Elsa asked as Anna kneeled behind her and pushed her blonde, long hair to one side. Elsa stiffened, not sure of what Anna would do.

"Just giving you a massage."

"Is this really necessary?"

"Shh. Don't argue, just relax."

"Fine."

Neither of them said a thing, and it seemed to have helped since Elsa felt much more relaxed, as if she was drifting into another dimension. Anna clearly knew what she was doing. Who would have thought that she could make her feel like that? She seemed like a natural. She knew when to apply pressure and when to stop. She knew exactly which spots were her weaknesses. Anna was confident of what she was doing. Little did she know, Anna was almost dying inside.

Elsa's skin was cool even though it was warm outside. That only made her keep wanting to rub her hands on the girl's upper back and her neck. Her skin was so soft; it felt right on Anna's skin. She felt like she needed to explore other areas, but she couldn't. She was lucky enough to be touching her at all right now.

Damn it, Anna. Control yourself! You are more strong-willed than you think!

She lied to herself, she couldn't stop. Why would she stop? Why should she stop? She was enjoying it, and she was sure Elsa was enjoying it too. She wasn't complaining, so she must be doing something right. She felt like all that she had done in life led up to this moment and nothing else mattered. Not the problems she had back home, not the work she had to deal with, not Elsa not knowing about her feelings. It didn't matter. Sooner or later she would find out, so why did she keep stopping herself from letting it out? Her feelings would only grow stronger and eventually she would erupt. Unconsciously, she ran her hand across Elsa's back, softly rubbing her fingers from shoulder to shoulder. She was brought back to reality when she felt Elsa shiver. She seemed so relaxed, she had never seen her before like this. Elsa had let go, her walls were down. Anna couldn't stop staring at her. Her eyes ran over Elsa's figure. She stared at her back, her neck, her lips and her jaw. She had to stop, Elsa's defined jaw line was calling her name. But just like anything else that had to do with Elsa, she couldn't.

She couldn't stop herself. She couldn't even think about stopping before she placed her lips on the back of the blonde's neck. She did it slowly, almost afraid that Elsa would notice. Once she did, she didn't care, she wanted more, she needed more. She pressed her lips harder as she moved to the front side, slowly but a bit faster. Elsa's skin felt good, really good. Fear ran through her body as Elsa lifted her head. "Anna..." She said, so quiet, barely a whisper.

Anna didn't respond, not verbally at least. Her hand went seeking for the blonde's chin and her lips haunted for hers. If she liked the feel of Elsa's skin, she liked her lips even more. This kiss was nothing compared to the first one, this one was more passionate. The mood was perfect, Elsa was perfect, she was reciprocating.

"Anna... Stop..."

What?

Anna pulled away, although only a few inches away from her face.

"What- What are you doing?"

It was clear that Anna didn't know what to say. She was confused, how did this all start? Why did she do it?

"Elsa- I'm... I'm sorry but..."

Elsa distanced herself. She was looking at Anna with disbelief and that scared the shorter girl. What had she done?

"Is there something you need to tell me?" Elsa's tone was accusatory.

Anna's eyes shifted, how would she even begin to explain herself? "Anna, say something!"

"I can't. I don't- I don't know how." Her eyes were getting teary.

Elsa sat there, thinking for a while. Unable to believe what had occurred.

"It all makes sense... Of course. How did I not see it earlier?"

"Elsa, no. Stop!"

"How long have you been feeling this way, Anna?" Elsa was half screaming.

Anna couldn't reply. If she told her the truth that would just set her thinking and she just couldn't find out.

"Anna, I swear to god you better answer me!" Anna could have sworn she was seeing the worst of Elsa.

"Please, Elsa. Just stop, alright?" Anna was in the verge of crying.

"Stop? ME, STOP? You! Anna, YOU need to stop. Stop whatever this is."

"I'm sorry, Elsa. I really am."

"I can't believe this is happening. What made you think- You know what? Forget it. This is done with. I'm heading back into the house. I expect you to be ready in thirty minutes. We're going back. This never happened and I doubt anything will happened from now on. I mean it, Anna. Anything."

The way Elsa emphasized the word 'anything' broke Anna's heart more than the rejection she had received. She had gone from glory to hell in a matter of seconds. Nothing would be the same ever again. She would lose her friendship, she knew it. She had known that before anything else. She had known that maybe even before she knew she had fallen for Elsa. She finally broke down as the blonde made her way back through the path they had taken initially. She cried like she had never cried before.

How could I have been so stupid?

AN: I apologize in advance for any broken hearts. Things will get better, just not now so I'm sorry!

Anyone know what movie they were watching?

Let me know what you guys think of this chapter!