"Hey, did you get my text?" Anna asked nervously as soon as she entered the dorm. She found Elsa, once again, reading a book. The blonde looked up without lifting her head, strands of blonde hair blocked her eyesight.
"I did, weren't you supposed to be in class?" She continued with her book.
"That was before."
"Oh." Elsa was obviously too into the book, as usual.
Anna tried to find another way to ask about her dream without sounding too demanding, or needy.
"How was your test?" For the first time, Elsa looked interested.
"Much better than I expected."
"So I take it you passed?"
"Definitely," Anna opened her mouth to continue, but still struggled to find the words. She had been standing by the door since she arrived, Elsa noticed.
"Something wrong?"
Anna quickly drifted her eyes towards her. "Uh, no. Why?"
"You seem weird."
"I am weird." She finally walked towards her bed. "Say Elsa, don't you think you should reply to my text now?" Anna couldn't bare look at her, she only looked up at the ceiling expecting an answer. What kind of answer? She did not know. But Elsa didn't say anything, which made Anna feel even more awkward.
What could be so wrong with a dream that she can't tell me? Her phone vibrated, it was Elsa.
Elsa: Were you stalking me last night?
Anna couldn't hide the smile.
Anna: I couldn't sleep and you were talking in your sleep.
Elsa: What was I saying?
Anna: Something along the lines of 'no' and 'Anna, no'
She couldn't bring herself to say the other sentence.
Elsa: That was all?
Anna: You said something else but it was hard to understand.
Elsa: How weird is it that we're in the same room yet we're texting?
They both looked up at each other, smiled wickedly then stared back at their phones.
Anna: Are you trying to change the subject?
Elsa: Not at all.
Anna: Then answer ;)
Anna wondered if she was going too far. She needn't go somewhere she couldn't come back from.
Elsa: What was that wink for?
Anna: I was trying to persuade you
Elsa: So... by seducing me?
Anna: No... By intimidation.
Elsa: I'm the one who intimidates you, remember?
Anna couldn't help but laugh at that, Elsa only looked at her and smiled.
Anna: Yeah, yeah. Well, have I seduced you enough to tell me?
Elsa: Tell you what?
Anna: Stop changing the topic, tell me about your dream?
Elsa: Do you honestly think I still remember my dream?
Anna: Nice excuse.
Elsa: Anna... I honestly don't remember.
Anna: Fine.
Elsa: Just fine?
Anna: Yes, just fine.
The tempo in the room suddenly changed.
Elsa: Are you mad?
Anna: Why would I be mad?
Elsa: I don't know, you just seem quiet. Well, more than usual.
Anna: I've been quiet for a while, Elsa. Don't you remember?
Elsa: I thought things were okay between us now?
Anna: Listen, I am very grateful for your help last night. If not for you, I probably would have failed so thank you. That doesn't change how we stand though. You did things to me and I did things to you and it'll take a while before it's all forgotten.
Anna waited anxiously before Elsa's response. Would she even respond? Was she having trouble coming up with an appropriate response or did she not want to? She tried to convince herself that Elsa had not received her text or wasn't finished reading it, although the latter two were highly unrealistic. They were sitting in the same room and did not bother to say more than five words to each other.
Anna's phone finally vibrated again.
Elsa: I understand.
Once again, Anna woke up before the alarm went off. Her brain was slowly getting accustomed to her schedule, or rather Elsa's. She opened her eyes and saw Elsa sitting on her chair, working on her computer. For a second, she thought it was later than usual, but it couldn't be; her clock read sometime after five in the morning.
Her body movements, the low grunts and the quiet sounds of her yawning as she stretched attracted Elsa's attention.
"Good morning," she said, not expecting Anna to answer.
Anna wasn't fully awake to remember how she stood with Elsa. "You're not going for a run today?"
"I would, by I can't." Elsa shifted her eyes and her head quickly towards the window, Anna understood she had to look.
"It's- it's snowing..." Elsa had not seen anyone as surprised as Anna at the sight of snow.
"It's really snowing! Oh yes! A-fucking-men!"
God, she really is like a little kid sometimes, Elsa thought.
Anna's eyes were almost sparkling as she walked towards the window, she really was that excited. She jumped around as well as did lots of hand movements, Elsa was certainly entertained at the sight.
"Ohmygod, Elsa! It's snowing!" She said excitedly.
"I know, I noticed." She smiled. How could Anna be so adorable? It was like she'd never seen snow before.
"We have to go for a run!"
"It's dangerous, Anna. Plus you only just woke up."
"Well, I don't know about you but I'm getting some hot chocolate."
If there was one thing Anna could do well, it was to confuse Elsa. She did not understand how Anna felt towards her. The day before she had seen a glimpse of the old Anna, then she turned cold again. And this morning... Elsa swore she would go crazy with all the attitude changes. How did Anna really feel? Would she only seek her when she needed help with something or when she needed to know something? That thought bothered Elsa, not because she minded Anna talking to her only for those reasons, but rather because there would come a time when Anna would no longer need her and what would she do without her presence?
The thought stirred back into her mind. How would she do without Anna for a week? She was leaving tomorrow and she couldn't even stand the mention of the date.
If only I wasn't so used to her.
"Brought you some hot chocolate, just in case." She placed the cup on Elsa's desk. Not bothering to come any closer.
"Thanks. I've never seen you so excited about something before."
Anna took a sip of her chocolate. She drank too quickly, thus underestimating the heat of the drink. Elsa couldn't help but giggle at Anna's expression.
"Stooop it. Not funny."
Elsa tried to put on a serious face. "So, why so excited?"
"It's not every day that we get snow."
"I took you more for the beach type."
" Well, that's the reason why I like snow so much. It's something new, you know?"
"That makes sense."
Anna gulped before she spoke again, clearly nervous at Elsa's response. "I... Is there- Well, you must like it too, right? I mean the snow. Well, duh, what else are we talking about?" Anna slapped her forehead. "Of course you like snow. Why do I even ask? Your tattoo says it all."
Elsa was beginning to build a laugh at Anna's rambling when she finally processed the redhead's words. She stared down at her chest, making sure her tattoo wasn't too visible. Then she stared at Anna, had she shown it to her before? How could she have noticed it if she always tried to hide it?
"You know about my tattoo?"
Anna's face went blank, no clue on what to say. "Well, yeah. Was I not supposed to?"
"No, no. I just- well, I'm surprised. I didn't think I ever showed you."
"Well, you might want to have a look at your profile pic..." Anna blurted out quickly.
"Ah, yes. I remember now."
"Is there a special meaning behind it? I mean, you don't have to tell me, I'll understand. It's just, I've never seen someone tattooed like that before so I figured it might mean something."
"It certainly does, I'm just not sure if I'm ready to tell you about its meaning."
"You're a very secretive person, you know that, don't you?"
"I always found mysteries to be fun." Elsa gave her a challenging smile.
Anna gasped. "Are you challenging me, Elsa? C'mon we both know you're the one who likes challenges here, not me."
"Maybe I'll tell you later."
"Can I ask you something?" Anna did not wait for Elsa to answer that. "Why are you so afraid to let people know your life story? Nothing bad will come of it."
Elsa waited in silence, thinking of an appropriate response. No one had ever asked her that before, they just accepted her the way she was, and if they didn't, they would simply be out of her life. With Anna it was different, she was insistent and curious, but did she really need to know? She finally managed a reply. "I... I just don't want people to feel sorry for me, that's why I don't want them to know that part of my life..." she lowered her head.
"Oh? But why would people feel sorry for you?"
Should I tell her?
Elsa weighed the pros and cons.
Sure, Anna wouldn't tell a soul, she was loyal. But, was Anna even her friend? As far as she knew, they were only roommates, and she wasn't about to spill her life story like that.
"Like I said, maybe some day I'll tell you." Elsa gave her a small smile.
Anna needed to know. She hated seeing Elsa in a state of vulnerability, why did she keep it all bottled inside of all it did was hurt her? She wanted to run across the room and hug her, protect her and most of all she wanted to be there for her.
Ugh, when did things get so complicated?
When you kissed her dumbass!
Despite her logic, Anna insisted. "El-Elsa, do you?- do you not trust me?"
That question took Elsa by surprise. How did Anna dare ask that question? Wasn't she aware of their awkward situation?
"I don't feel comfortable answering with a yes or a no. It's something I don't know yet." She stopped, finding a way to make Anna understand and at the same time not hurt her feelings. "Let me explain myself. I- You've been acting different around me, and it's confusing. One day you're okay, one day you're not. Can you just make up your mind?"
Is Elsa about to start another argument?
"Are you really about to confront me about this right now?" Anna asked.
"Yes, Anna! You need to decide, you can't do things half way. Either you want to talk to me and you do or you don't and just forget about me. I don't know what to think, are you pretending to hate me or do you really not want to talk to me anymore? It's hard to tell with you acting this way. Just please... please choose what you want." Elsa's pleading tone reflected on her expression, almost apologetic.
Anna was so close to giving in. Elsa was spilling her heart, for what? So that things could go back to normal, or what did she really want? She did not know whether she was ready to go back and forget about what happened. She wanted it desperately, but Elsa had hurt her and that was something she would not forget about. Anna was too proud, she had to make Elsa understand that what she did was unacceptable.
"Isn't this ironic? Elsa, you shouldn't even be asking me about this. You were the person who pretended I didn't exist in the first place, and now that you finally feel what it's like you decide that it's wrong? You shouldn't be talking." Anna responded.
"Then you shouldn't be asking if I trust you." Was Elsa's immediate reply.
Anna walked towards Elsa, they were both hurt, mad at each other, and tired of treating the other indifferently, but that didn't change the way Anna felt about Elsa. Those feelings won over her pride, she had to let go; she had to be considerate for once. "Look Elsa, I need to be honest," her voice was much quieter now, she knew she needed a new approach. "I, too, don't know how our relationship stands right now. I think neither of us knows, but I don't want to continue fighting with you anymore. I don't want to ignore you either. I can't do that. You have no idea how hard it is for me to do it every single day, to pretend that I'm mad at you when I'm actually not. It's hard to see you every day and hold everything in, there are so many things that I want to tell you and talk to you about," this time Elsa stepped closer to Anna. She knew exactly how it felt, she understood every word of what Anna was saying. "I understand if you don't feel the same way. I have to admit though, this act I put up- it was because I was hurt and mad and maybe even desperate. But I can no longer stand it, I can't be mad at you any longer." Elsa opened her mouth to say something, but Anna continued. "I don't know how you feel. I want to think that you want things to go back to the way they were, but I don't know if that's just me wishing or if it's actually true. I don't know if you want me to be your friend or..." She couldn't bring herself to say what she was actually thinking. "Honestly, I don't care what I am. I'm your something and that's all that matters, I don't care what I am but I'm glad to be your something. I'm your something and you are my something."
Anna's eyes were teary. Her words left Elsa speechless. How did someone so simple as Anna make her feel so affected?
Elsa knew she had to say something back, but Anna had said it all; there was nothing left to say. She felt the same way. They both felt the same way and they didn't even know it. As much as she wanted words to manifest what she was feeling, her brain and her mouth failed her. The only acceptable response was to nod, run towards Anna and hug her. The embrace definitely caught Anna by surprise, she pulled away, although not fully. She did not want to let go of that moment.
Anna looked into Elsa's eyes, they were both finally on the same page. Why did they wait so long if they were both clearly suffering all this time?
"Does... does that mean you?"
"Yes." Elsa said before Anna could finish. She clearly felt the same way, but what way was that? She knew she felt something for Anna, but she couldn't tell her yet.
"I'm glad we're back to being friends." Anna said as she pulled Elsa into the embrace again.
"I'm glad to be your something."
AN: So sorry for the long update! As some of you already know, I signed up for a two week class and as a result I have been very busy, which also explains why this chapter is so short and maybe not that good. But hey, Elsanna moment in the end :D
One more week and I shall be free of obligations, I might update during the week and if not then, hopefully by the weekend.
I hope you guys like the ending to this chapter, but be warned: more angst coming soon. Muahahaha!
By the way, I have to ask, what's your favorite chapter so far?
