Sorry about the delay! Have been very lazy lately and just drained of any creative juices. Also, it's been very hard and frustrating to play TF2 where I am now, so that accounts for a part of my writer's block. Anyway, new chapter! Whee!
With RED Scout's instincts completely caught off guard and a helpful dosage of steel-administered concussions, it didn't take BLU Scout long to emerge victorious from their scuffle. And as soon as he passed the word down to Engi, the Texan immediately relayed it back to Team Spyper.
"RED Scout down! Send Spy on his way."
"Took you bloody long enough!" Sniper snapped back from his end, albeit relieved to hear that the plan was going smoothly. "What happened? Who buggered up?"
"Nobody. We ran into some complications."
"What kind of complications?"
"We don't have time to get into that. I'll explain later. Is Spy ready?"
"Ready to die." The man in question finally joined in, emerging from his clouds of cigarette smoke.
"Oh, quit being so dramatic. You had to wait 2 hours."
"Oui, 2 hours with you."
"What? You think I was havin' a ball back 'ere? You fell asleep again, by the way. Anyone ever tell you that you snore really loud?"
"No, but I don't sleep when there's somebody with me in bed." Spy cocked a groomed brow to let onto the suggestiveness he was insinuating.
"Pff- course not!" But Sniper spat it back in his face. "Nobody's gonna catch any shut-eye with that ruckus beside 'em!"
They both exchanged heated glares, locking onto one another's gaze like bulls locking horns.
"Quit bickerin'' like a bunch a' sissies, would ya? We don't have all day! Get to it!" Engi's voice blared through the radio once more, snapping them both out of their mutually fuelled hate-train.
Finally, the Frenchman went on his merry way and Sniper swiftly announced his departure to the Texan to put him at ease.
"Now... Since Ol' Spook is on his way, we should do something 'bout this problem we have here."
RED Medic dead-panned the Texan. They had been stalling outside the entrance to his office for the better part of their time. "Don't you think you should have done that before sending your Shpy down here?"
"Like I said, we don't have the time for that. We'll just have to make sure we solve the problem before he gets here. Now, I propose-"
"No, you propose nothing!" The German interrupted, "You have barely built your teleporter half-way. Perhaps it's besser that you leave the thinking to me."
"That would be great if you actually had a plan." Engi retorted, choosing to side-step the condescending quality of Medic's voice for the sake of productivity. "And do you?"
"I was thinking, well..." The doctor scratched stressfully at his head once more, as if to generate and will an idea into existence.
"My point exactly." The Texan crossed his arms.
"Men!" Heavy called out to remind the two of his presence. "You know what the problem with the both of you is?"
"Oh, I can't vait to hear this one..." Medic drawled sardonically.
"You think too much!" The Russian prodded a blunt finger at his comrade's forehead. "If my time in Russian prisons has taught me anything-"
"Hold up- You were in prison?"
"-It is that not every solution needs degree from fancy school. You stay, build. I will handle this."
"Heavy, what exactly are you suggesting?"
"Punch me."
"What? Why?"
"In head. Best if in eye. Make good bruise."
"But why?!"
"Just do it, da?"
Engi looked perplexed. There certainly were several times he had the desire to do this, whilst they were fighting for their respective colours. But having the command sprung on him so casually struck an odd nerve with him.
"Uh- maybe Medic should do it. He's your pal."
"And how is it any better if a good friend punches him?!" Medic frowned, trying to reason. "No, it is most definitely better if you do it, BLU Engineer."
"How'd you figure that?!"
"It is a better association for him if a rival does it."
"Look, if one of you no do it, I will run into brick wall."
"Oh, for the love of-" Engi swiftly took a swing at the giant's jaw, the sudden force of it pushing Heavy's unprepared self to the ground.
"Why did you do that?!" The German squawked, motioning at the log of a body that now lay in the dirt.
"Why d'ya think? He asked me to! You asked me to!"
"No, no-" Heavy rose back to his feet, slowly but steadily. "Is alright. Heavy just not ready."
"I'm sorry, pal." The engineer smiled sheepishly, scratching the back of his helmeted head.
"Do it again."
"What! You can't be seriou-"
This time it was Medic's turn to land a hit on Heavy, the sudden weight of his kick to the ribs knocking him forward.
"Oh, what the f-" Engi held his head in disbelief. "What happened to all that you just said about being friends and bad associations?!"
"We have no time!" The doctor snapped defensively. "It had to be done. Why? I have no idea. But the sooner this is done, the better."
The two men slowly turned their attention to the wounded one on the floor.
"Next time, only one person hit." He shot a look towards his friendly doctor, hauling himself back up.
"I'm sorry, Heavy." Medic offered, "Whatever damage, I will fix."
"Is no problem."
And with a confident foot forward, the Leviathan trudged onwards, brushing the others aside with an effortless sweep of his muscle carved arms. Medic and Engi watched on with intrigue, mystified as Heavy paused right before the door to the doctor's office to tear at the seams of his uniform, as if he didn't look battered enough.
What came next was the slamming of the door and Heavy's roar of caution and warning to the team-mates waiting inside.
"Run! Run away now!"
"What the-"
RED Engi and Demo sprung from their seats, unsuspecting and vulnerable.
"No time to talk! Just run!"
"Heavy- buddy, is everything oka-"
"RUN!"
The injured pair did not need to be told twice, scrambling off their seats to seek shelter somewhere else.
When the noise of yelling died down, Medic peered into the office. It appeared that Heavy's plan had worked quite successfully, even if he didn't catch on till the last second. "Okay, Engi. Coast is clear."
"That's what I like to hear!" He chirped back with a grin, whacking a few more bolts into place before straightening back up from his crouched position. "Well, would ya look at that? My 'porter's all set!"
But before they could celebrate with a couple high-fives and a bottle of champagne, something came to Medic's attention to delay the party.
RED Scout was headed their way.
"Engi-" He grasped the Texan's arm.
"Shit!" He hissed upon realisation, going rigid, unsure of whether to run or stay.
"What do we do?!"
"Uh..." Engi stalled, hoping his brain would catch up with his mouth. "We should... f-" He froze again when RED Scout's eyes made contact with his. "-Fuck."
"Excuse me?!"
"Fight! I meant to say fight!"
RED Scout, now in-front of them, sneered with amusement. "Sure you did. So what's all this then, eh? Fraternising with the enemy?"
"Uh- I- uhm..." Medic stammered, very much brought back to the time he was caught stealing a doctor's skeleton from his sleeping body. "That's... not... really Engi."
"Oh yeah?" Scout tapped the baseball bat against his shoulder impatiently, hand on his hip, all but believing the German's lie.
"It's Shpy! It's our Shpy! He's just disguised as enemy Engi. Yes, that's it."
The Texan was thrust into the spotlight once more. "Ah- Ouuu-oui! Jay swee Fron...kay." Engi tried his best French accent, failing miserably.
It was hopeless. RED Scout stood there pointing and laughing at them. Nevertheless, the two men tried to hold their ground, supporting the foundations of their lie until blood was promised to spill. But before the two of them could review the terms of their will, a familiar puff of smoke emanated from Scout's figure.
In mere moments, the pitch of the Bostonian's voice completely changed, as well as his physique.
Engi blinked hard. "Spy?!"
"Your French is terrible!" Well, that confirmed it. It was definitely Spy, in all of his trolling glory, slapping his knees with wheezing laughter.
"Why would you do that to us?!" Medic demanded, painted red with both embarrassment and anger.
Engi sighed, patting the poor German on the back. "Because he can, my friend."