"I suppose I don't have to ask you for the password that your Medic gave you then."

Spy rolled his eyes, recalling the memory. "No, and I wouldn't do it even if you asked."

"That's not very neighbourly..." The German couldn't help but remark.

"Must I remind you that we are rivals?"

"Oh, I suppose so." Medic rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Say, how about you smoke a cigarette?"

"Is this your way of sabotaging me?"

"To put bluntly, yes."

The Frenchman scoffed, but nonetheless lit up, finding it hard to decline the chance of a cigarette, even if it was at his own expense. "So am I here to collect whatever RED Medic is supposed to give me?"

"Plaaan has kinda changed." Engi did his best to plaster a grin, just to dull the blow of Spy's inevitable frustration.

His eye twitched. "So is there any good reason why I am here and not my hotel room?"

"Do you want the good news first, or the bad news?"

"Good."

"Okay. The good news is, we don't need Demo to come over now. I could probably just give you the balloon and you could sneak back to base."

"How is this good news?"

"It's all in the matter of perspective." Medic answered, also doing his best to keep everybody's spirits up.

Spy glared daggers at them. "Dare I ask the bad news?"

"I..." The German shifted his eyes, twiddling his thumbs. "I may have misplaced the balloon."

"Oh, you cannot be serious-!" Spy made a lunge for him, butterfly blades out and waiting in his hand. Engi managed to hold him off just in time.

"Okay, boys!" He laughed nervously. "No need to turn on each other! Violence solves nothing!"

"You are a mercenary! Violence is how you solve all problems! Now, let me go so I can solve him!"

"Oh yeah, forgot that." His grip on Spy loosened in his moments of enlightenment and thus began the domino effect of chaos. "Ohh crap."

Medic started running, but because he didn't want the chase to bring them somewhere his team-mates would probably be, he ran in circles to keep them within the proximity of safety. In-short, they all looked ridiculously silly, especially from Sniper's birds-eye view.

"Okay, Demo." Engi spoke into his radio. "Do not come through the 'porter. I repeat, do not come through the 'porter!"

But apparently, today was opposite day. In the next few seconds, the very next thing that came through the teleporter was Demo. No, rather, it was Demo's body. Limp and face down on the ground. His mind had probably retired to the land where they had 99 bottles of beer on the wall.

"What the hell did I just say?!"

"Oh, Gott! I'm sorry! I thought you said to come through the teleporter!" BLU Medic's voice came blaring through on the other end.

"How- What-" Engi didn't even know where to begin. "Why in the hell is Demo out cold?!"

"Well, I tried to keep the bottle away from Demo but he started drinking his own blood samples I took from him a while back in August. I sort of lost him, you see, but zhen I heard your voice through his radio and there, in my office, I found him! On the floor!"

"He made Heavy pick up mess!"

"Yes," A sigh. "Thank you again, Heavy."

"Oh, what am I gonna do..." The Texan felt like crying into his hands.

It may have taken a few painful minutes but eventually, they all calmed down. Medic, striking gold with his lucky stars, ran into his trusty Russian somewhere in the middle of all his running. Heavy then stood between him and Spy's blades. That is to say, it meant Heavy resorted to hoisting Spy clean off his feet and into the air to get him to cease fire.

"Put me down, fat man!" He wailed, his lithe limbs waving wildly in the air, resembling much of an insect on its back.

"Not until you stop harming RED doctor."

"Fine, I'll stop!"

"Oh, I wouldn't trust him. He's a shpy, after-all."

"I'll keep an eye on him. Just put 'im down" Engi vouched, unable to help sympathising for Ol' Spook's situation.

"Thank you." Spy hissed vehemently, dusting himself off after being re-introduced to gravity.

So they all resided in the German's office for temporary shelter. It was there they concluded that no matter how dire the current situation was, they still had to come out of it somehow, and it was deemed impossible without each other's help.

But first, they had to wake Demo up.

"Welp... Who's up for goin' first?"

All eyes turned on Engi.

"What? Why me? I ain't got no ideas!"

"Perhaps good blow to head will do trick." Heavy suggested, readying his fists.

"Nein! We are not going to give him yet anozher brain injury, okay?"

"Spook? Got any ideas?"

"Short of ordering an espresso maker from Italy, non."

"Why must you take zhat route?"

"Hey, Doc. What's this syringe do?"

"Those are filled with amphetamines. Why do you as-" Medic's face suddenly froze, his lips shortly after, forming a perfect "Ohh..."

"Ampheta-what?"

"Hand zhat here." The German swiftly swiped it out of Engi's hands, crouching down on the floor beside the sleeping Demo. "Everybody stand back!"

Nobody moved, curious eyes peering over.

Medic fixed them a look. "Away!"

To no avail.

"Heavy?" He cast a glance towards his body-guard, who promptly started herding the surveying crowd away.

When everyone was clear, Medic positioned the needle at the Scot's chest. "Zhis might hurt..."

One swift thrust, and the needle jammed straight past Demo's sternum and into his heart. Engi couldn't help but wince, shielding his eyes away from the sight. Spy seemed perfectly content, watching on with sadistic satisfaction.

Demo immediately jolted upright.

"FLIPPIN' GOBSHEI-"

Everybody jumped, some of them crashing into one another in their fright.

"That is why I told you to stand back!" Medic snapped, "Idiots... How are you feeling, Demo?"

"Mah heart is beetin' as fast as a bullet train!"

"M-hmm."

"I feel as if I'm going ta explode!"

"Yes, that is normal."

"What an ironic death that would be..." Spy wondered aloud, unable to stop the arches of his mouth twisting into a grin, already planning the funeral.

"Am I going ta fuckin' die?!" The Scot turned to Medic with panic, "Heal me! MEDIC!"

"No, you are not going to die. Don't listen to him." A side glare to the Frenchman. "But you may have a heart attack, who knows."

Demo started hyperventilating, clutching hard at his chest.

"Uh... Is he gonna be alright?"

"He'll be fine! Stop being such a baby." The doctor huffed, tossing the used needle into the bin. "But now that he's awake, we can move on. Thank you for the idea again, Engi."

"This was yoor idea?!" Demo spat at the Texan, eyes wide with betrayal. "How could ye!"

"Don't look at me! I only asked what the syringe was filled with!"

"Gentlemen..." Spy cleared his throat, cutting their game of 'Pin The Blame' short. "We do not have much time, and time is of the essence. So shut up, calm down, and decide what our next move is."

"Yes... I do not want to be seen agreeing with him, but he's right." Medic sighed, "I believe my team-mates are starting to grow suspicious of my whereabouts."

"Well... I hate to be the one to ask this but," Engi grit his teeth, trying to keep a cool head. "Where is that god damn balloon we came here for?!"

"About that..." The doctor started. "Our best bet is to raid the locker-rooms."

"And how the heck are we gonna get there? We can't afford to be seen together!"

"Raight, that's it! I need a drink."

"NO, Demo. NO drinking."

"You stuck a bloody needle in me! I think it's fair ta say you owe me a proper pint!"

"Again, it was Engi's idea!"

"It was not my idea!"

Spy groaned inwardly as he watched his cohorts descend into madness once more. Enough was enough, somebody had to do something about this mess. So he beckoned Heavy over, who was ironically the only other one who seemed to be sane in the circumstance, and whispered something in his ear.

"Right now?"

"Yes. Right now would be perfect."

"Okay." The giant nodded.

Nobody noticed when the two made a quiet departure.