"Do you think they bought it?" Elsa's voice broke the ice, or should I say the snow? She fidgeted with her fingers, looking down at the ground until she finally looked up to find a speechless Anna.

"Umm... Yeah, they bought it alright." Anna paced around. It was slowly becoming one of her habits when she did not know what to do, and it was also becoming way too frequent now.

"I can't believe my sister did that." Again, Elsa's voice brought her back to earth. It had been how long since the kiss? Probably a good five minutes or so, but she still felt it marked on her skin, on her being. She did not respond; she was still too busy trying to process it all. She walked from left to right and from right to left, repeatedly. Her arms folded in front of her, head down, Elsa noticed. The blonde took a few steps towards her, placed her palm on Anna's upper arm. "Hey Anna, are you okay? You seem nervous." Anna stopped and saw the look of concern on Elsa's face.

"I'm fine." But she did not look fine; she still seemed lost and unresponsive.

Elsa could not help but feel guilty. "Look Anna, I'm sorry about all of this. I understand if- if this is just too much. It was my idea to go along with your parents and-" She sighed. "-and I'm starting to think it was a terrible idea. You must be very confused so..." She stopped; she needed to make sure that the next words were said carefully. "Maybe we should just tell your parents the truth." Anna continued looking at her. She was right, it had been a terrible idea, but there was no going back. She was determined to keep up the lie. Maybe it was because she was in too deep or maybe because she did not want to explain everything to her parents, but that wasn't the truth. She couldn't lie to herself; she had to keep it up because she wanted to, because she liked it. Even if everything was just a lie, just an act on Elsa's part, she needed it and she had to cherish it because that would be the only way she'd get that with Elsa.

The sound of an engine interrupted the silence that followed. Anna's dad was making his way into the driveway, struggling to get the car to go up the small incline. The snow was constant and it did not seem like it would stop. "I guess we can tell them once their together." Elsa said as she looked at the man.

"No. We're not telling them, it's too late." Anna wished she had a more convincing explanation as to why they shouldn't tell them, but she didn't, so she hoped Elsa wouldn't insist. Luckily, the blonde just nodded.

"Hey there ladies." Anna's father got out of the car and walked towards the front door. "Oh poor Elsa, did my daughter force you to come out here in the cold and build a snowman with her?" He asked before stepping inside.

"You know how stubborn your daughter can be, Mr. Aldridge." She smiled at him, and he returned it. "Just like her mother. Well, have fun ladies!" He replied, finally stepped inside, not before getting rid of the snow in his shoes.

Elsa looked back at Anna who seemed somewhat better now. "What are you thinking about?"

I can't really tell her what I'm thinking about.

"Umm, I was just wondering where you'd like to go today. You know? Staying at home can get boring."

Elsa looked around. "Well I don't know much around here but I'm still a bit tired from yesterday, and then there's all this snow."

Anna smiled. "I guess Netflix it is then."

"Is this what you do all day when you're at home?" The girls were lying in bed. Not much light came through the window as it was still quite cloudy outside. Their day at home was spent watching various shows and movies, finding something Anna had not watched yet was harder than anticipated. Elsa teased her for not going out enough and spending too much time on Netflix.

"Oh, if only you knew. I go out WAY too much." She clarified.

"Yeah... That explains your Netflix account." Elsa commented sarcastically, after which Anna gave her a small push.

After much insisting on Elsa's part, they settled for The Walking Dead, much too Anna's dismay. "Why can't we just watch... I don't know... Something romantic?" She pleaded.

"C'mon Anna, you need to watch something more interesting." There was no way Anna could refuse her, even if she desperately wanted to.

After three episodes, hunger got the better of them and Anna suggested they'd get lunch. "What are you in the mood for?" She asked as she heard both their stomachs growl. Elsa, who was smiling after the realization, only shrugged.

"Surprise me." The redhead smiled, shook her head and stood up immediately. It wasn't long after that she came back into the room with two plates in each hand. Elsa quickly stood up to help her.

"You know, I've been thinking." Elsa said after a while. They had both finished eating and placed everything aside.

"Seems like you've been thinking a lot lately." Anna yawned, the lack of sleep was finally affecting her.

"Well, it's impossible not to think. Even when you're thinking about not thinking you're still doing it." She replied, matter-of-factly. Anna only stared at her.

Wow, you amaze me sometimes.

"I know." The blonde replied with a grin on her face, she knew Anna had not meant to say that out loud.

The redhead tried to quickly change the subject, "So, what were you thinking about?"

"Christmas." Elsa's response was automatic, which left Anna thinking about what Elsa could have meant.

"Don't tell me you're planning on getting Christmas gifts already? Isn't it a little too early?" Anna mocked her, knowing Elsa always had to be prepared for everything.

"That's not what I meant." She attempted to smile, noticing Anna's playful comment. "I meant Christmas... And your parents, and well... Us." Anna could tell that Elsa wasn't just letting her know what had been on her mind lately, she was also asking her. What would they do? Did they have to keep it up then too? She would like nothing more, but by the look on Elsa's face she knew the blonde probably didn't. She remained quiet, pretending to think about the possibilities, when it truth she was only tormenting herself with something she wished was real but wasn't.

"Let's not worry about it now," she tried to change the mood again. "Besides, you probably have plans with your family." In that instant, Elsa wanted to blurt out countless of things. She wanted to spill her secrets; she had to be honest for once. "Are you still here?" Anna waved her hand in front of Elsa, who had been blankly staring into space. Immediately, Elsa shook herself out of her thoughts, but the feelings the thought of her family brought to her remained, and Anna noticed.

"Did I say something I wasn't supposed to?" Worry took over Anna. "Elsa, I'm sorry. Maybe you wanted to spend Christmas here and I just assumed- Ugh, you know how I can be sometimes and you know you're welcome to be here anytime you want. I wouldn't mind and my family would love to have you here too. Hell, they'll probably want you to stay here forever but I... I just assumed you had plans with your family since you know? Christmas is a family day." Anna was rambling again, and she knew it. She timidly put a few strands of red hair behind her ear. Her rambling would usually make Elsa giggle, smile, or make fun of her but today it seemed to have no reaction. Anna stared at her; the older girl seemed broken, upset even. Why did she always act like this when she mentioned her family?

As if reading her mind, Elsa finally spoke. Her voice was as quiet as a whisper, if not quieter. "I don't have a family." She looked down at the ground; she had been doing that for the past five minutes, or however long it was since Anna mentioned her family.

Anna questioned whether she heard her right. Did she just say she didn't have a family?

No, that's not right. I probably misheard.

She would have preferred it that way, but the way Elsa's back was rising and falling faster than she could count the seconds made her think otherwise. Elsa was crying. She had to repeat herself that several times.

Elsa is crying.

Elsa is crying.

Elsa is crying.

The sobs became more audible, and her disbelief bigger. When was the last time she had seen Elsa cry? Guilt started to overcome her, the only reason the blonde was crying was because of what she had said. "Els., calm down. What do you mean you don't have a family? That can't be right... I mean look at you! I bet they love you." She said it with a lot of enthusiasm, but her voice never got higher than a whisper; Elsa needed calmness right now, she needed Anna.

The blonde continued crying, softly and elegantly, what else was expected of her? Her forehead rested on the palms of her hands as her back shook aggressively.

How long has she been holding this in?

"I don't... It's just me. It's always been me." She said it between sobs. It took a lot from her to finally say everything out loud, and to someone else, but she knew Anna wouldn't judge her. She was hoping she'd be there for her. Their bond had deepened over the last few days and even though they were not clear on how things stood between them, she knew Anna felt something special, and maybe she did too. She must have, otherwise she wouldn't find herself sitting in Anna's room, crying and pretending to be a couple.

"But you have Ygrette, she's your sister even if she's not the best of sisters. I mean, I wouldn't know, I'm an only child after all but she's your family..." Anna's voice ran through her spine, through her heart, and spread throughout her soul. Anna's voice was becoming soothing in her storm of sobs. In that moment, it was the only thing keeping her from becoming a complete disaster, and it was also the only thing encouraging her to letting go; to let it all go. She needed to escape her secrets; she would no longer be a prisoner. She needed to be free and most importantly she needed someone to be there for her in the end.

"My sister hates me." It took her a while to say that but she had to say it.

"I'm sure she doesn't..." Anna tried to remain comforting. The space between herself and Elsa had almost disappeared. They were sitting next to each other, Anna's hand resting on Elsa's back.

"You don't understand. She hates me! She blames me for everything!" And all of the sudden, everything Elsa held inside erupted; years of blaming herself, of holding back, of guilt and self-shaming because she felt responsible. "I'm the reason my mother is dead. I'm to blame and she knows it, she has every right to hate me. They all do!" Her sobs turned into loud cries, she wondered how she was even able to speak at all. Of course, it all took Anna by surprise. She felt heartbroken. The now small girl sitting next to her was a complete mess, she was hurt and vulnerable. She needed to protect her and hug her. She wanted to repair her, take away everything that made her suffer, or anyone that hurt her. Seeing Elsa like that drove her insane, she would go beyond anything to make it all go away, but she couldn't. All she could do was be there for her, pull her into her arms, her small body now shut off from everything, cuddled into a ball in her arms. There were so many questions she wanted to ask, but Elsa's current breakdown explained it all. She now understood her past behavior on current situations. She acted the way she did because she was hurt.

Again, it was just as if Elsa read her mind. She spoke again. "It was all my fault, if not for me, my mother would still be alive and my father and my sister wouldn't blame me. They wouldn't hate me..." The last part was said quietly, as if it hurt her to admit it. She mustered enough strength to finally spill everything out. She told Anna about the incident, how everything was almost so perfectly planned out. How instead of being ruled and accident by her family, they felt she did it on purpose and blamed her. She lost her family back then; she was alone and she did not know any other way. That's why she pushed everyone away, that's why she was a bitch. Anna had to know it, she had to hear everything and she did. She listened to her confession, she heard Elsa tell her about the reason why she decided to become close to her. Anna needed to hear that she only became her friend because she needed to keep her away from Carlos, as selfish and as crazy as that sounded. It was enough of keeping it all in. It was the most talking she had done in a while, about personal stuff anyway. But Anna didn't say anything; she didn't expect her to after everything she had told her. She only felt the girl's embrace, and every once in a while she felt Anna hug her tighter. She was glad for it though, it made her feel safe and glad that she finally spoke of it. The redhead kept hugging her, it had been a while but they both felt at home as they were, even if for the most awkward reasons.

"It's not your fault." Anna finally said, her right arm making circles on Elsa's back. She then moved it a bit further to play with her hair, she wanted to do so much more but that was all she could. "Guilt is subjective, Elsa. You can think you're guilty, which you probably do and I bet you'll feel guilty for the rest of your life and I also bet you feel like nothing will change that, not even your sister's and your father's forgiveness but to the world, you're innocent. They don't blame you for anything; I don't blame you for anything. You're not guilty to me. I care for you and I'm telling you, no matter what happened, you're innocent. It's not your fault." Anna's words brought more comfort than she had imagined. It felt nice having her to tell her everything was okay, to feel her next to her. "And you know what?" Anna continued, "I'm glad I got to know you. I'm glad we got paired as roommates even if we hated each other in the beginning," she made a pause and a small chuckle escaped her. "Hell, I'm even glad you decided that getting me away from Carlos was a good reason to become my friend."

Elsa finally looked up, staring at Anna in disbelief. "Really?" How could Anna be glad about that? "Wh- Why?"

Anna smiled and that brought her back to her safe place. "Remember how you told me, back when we spent the weekend at your country house, that everything we ever did was because we were selfish?" Elsa nodded, "and you said that you were a selfish person, remember that?" Of course Elsa remembered; the memory played too vividly in her head. "Also, remember how I told you that it'd become my life mission to prove you wrong?" She now had a smirk on her face, and even though Elsa hated being proved wrong, Anna's expression was priceless. "You're not selfish, Elsa. You became my friend even when you could gain nothing out of our friendship. You became my friend because you wanted to protect me from Carlos, and even though I didn't understand why back then, I have to say... That is the most selfless thing anyone has ever done for me."

There was nothing left to say, nothing either of them could say. They looked into each other's eyes, sights locked. It was as if they spoke to each other without speaking any more. They spoke in feelings, and they both felt the need of a proper hug. It was inevitable; they ran into each other's arms, wanting it to last forever.

"Well, looks who's finally awake." Idunn smiled at the girls as they both made it down the stairs. Calling it a weird day would be an understatement, but that's what it was, in a good way at least. Elsa was full of surprises. Anna didn't understand how she ever contemplated staying away from her, it was impossible. "We were about to start dinner without you, it's quite late you know?" Anna's dad ran his hand over his stomach, jokingly exaggerating.

"Oh, please. You probably had a snack." Anna said as she walked lazily into the dining room. After a few hours of confessing everything but their feelings towards each other, crying, and bonding, both girls felt tired and inevitably fell asleep. She was about to protest further but the sensation of Elsa's fingers intertwining with hers and the sudden grip of her hand interrupted her. With a surprised look on her face, she turned to Elsa who gave her the 'don't-forget-to-play-along' smile. How could a human being make her forget everything else existed? That was one of the million things she loved about Elsa. It was impossible for anyone not to love her. It was impossible for her not to lover her, most of all. She couldn't stop loving her, even when she had disliked her; part of her still loved her.

Aside from weird, it had also been a good day. She saw the girl holding her hand as someone else entirely, she still had the essence of the girl she fell for since the beginning, but she was more open now; their bond strengthened. She smiled as they all sat in the table; she looked at Elsa who smiled back at her. They both knew something had changed, but unfortunately it was not the status of their relationship that did.

AN: My apologies for the delay. I'm finding the more recent chapters harder to write because there's much more detail in them. That and, you can't really force inspiration ;)

Three things:

1. Many thanks to Reflectedd for beta-ing this chapter. (The quality just got better, so thanks for that!)

is the 20th chapter, can you guys believe that?! Thanks for the support. I guess chapter 20 will be known as the chapter in which Elsa finally let it go. Hehe.

3. There's a little more than a hundred of you following this story and it makes me one of the happiest persons alive. Thank you guys so much! I'd love to hear from you all.

I'll stop talking now. Enjoy!