WARNING: Explicit scene of non-consensual sex. It's not too over the top, but if you're sensitive to this, I suggest you skip. It's in the 3rd paragraph between the breaks.

A/N: This chapter is a bit of a filler, but there's two purposes for it. One is to get a better glimpse of Asami's past and why she left last chapter. Two is to set up the stage for the next chapter. I was going to do it all at once, but decided to break these chapters up. So, apologies, but this chapter really isn't all that exciting.

Also, I don't have a beta and I rarely re-read what I've written because I go too fast, so you'll sometimes find spelling or grammar errors. My bad! I really do sprekin-ze-engrish, I swear!

CHAPTER 8

It had been four days since what Asami was now mentally referring to as 'the throw down'. However, regardless of the time, she hadn't felt any better about the situation. 'UGH! Why did I do that? Why did I have to say that?!' She had been scolding herself ever since she walked out, having regretted her choice the moment she slammed the door behind her. Her built up frustration kept her moving forward, though, towards her car, towards her apartment, towards her bed where she spent the night unable to sleep.

Work hadn't been getting done due her growing lack of interest in anything other than the stack of post-it notes that somehow made their way from the box in her car to her desk. She thumbed over them, one at a time, reading the words reverently as she pictured the mysterious woman sitting in her office, scribbling the words down and laughing to herself as she packed up a lunch sack, ready to give it to Asami whenever she would arrive. The image melted her heart a little and tears began brimming once more, begging to escape, as they'd be doing so for days.

It was ridiculous what she said, and she knew it. It was evident that Korra had no intention of using her, for sex or otherwise. But, previous experience taught her to be cautious. Though, now she seemed to be more paranoid than anything.

A couple years ago her father had pressed one of his "star pupils" on her, nudging her to take advantage of a relationship to form a business partnership in the future. She wasn't given much of a choice in the matter, as he was constantly setting them up. Varrick, was his name. He wasn't bad looking, a little goofy with that mustache of his, which reminded her of a pirate movie with his eccentric personality, but he cleaned up nicely and was very respectable. For being held in such high regard by her father, though, it was certainly surprising to her to learn of what an actual tool he was. He began riding her ingenious wave, stealing tactics and ideas, copying case notes, and then passing them off as his own. Not that Asami cared much about gaining credit for her work, but she didn't particularly like someone taking said credit as their own, especially when they hadn't given much help at all. After a particularly bad case went south and Varrick blamed Asami for lack of participation, granting her a rather disappointing lecture from her father and the board of partners, as well as somewhat tarnishing her reputation, she'd had enough and broke it off, putting him in the hospital when he attempted a pass at make-up sex. This was the last time she'd let anyone use her, but it certainly wasn't the first.

Before that was a particularly off-putting woman in law school whom she had developed a "friends with benefits" relationship with. They shared a few lectures together, however Kuvira wasn't exactly the talkative type. She was sweet though, taking notice to Asami and moving to sit by her everyday and occasionally bringing her coffee. The woman was flawless in her stature, all hard and pointed, intense glares and high cheekbones and a rockin' body under tight clothes. For months they were each other's keeper when they needed a release. Asami had eventually given her a key to her apartment, which probably wasn't the wisest ideas, as she'd show up at the worst times, taking Asami's attention away from her studies and planting them on herself instead. Kuvira wasn't one to beg. After so long, what they were doing didn't make sense and Asami wanted more. Craved more, even, as the stressors of life were difficult and she had no one to talk to. Physical release just wasn't enough anymore. She began talking, showering some of her problems or just general life things over Kuvira, who was nice enough to just let her talk at first, so long as she got her fill in the end. At some point, the woman got tired of it though, telling Asami that she really didn't give a shit about her life and the only reason she was there was for the goods. Even in knowing that was the case the entire time, should couldn't help but feel hurt and humiliated. Needless to say, it ended there, but not without Asami spending a significant amount of time scolding herself for allowing the one thing she'd sworn to refuse: to be used.

The kicker of her habit of being taken advantage of was when she was an undergraduate at university. She'd always been someone that people paid attention to, but she rarely paid attention to them, always keeping her head down and to herself. One guy in one of her classes caught her eye though, and she seemed to catch his. He was tall, dark and handsome, the epitome of a perfect man. His features were rugged and his presence was alluring. Iroh was gentle and timid in the beginning. His attention was entirely focused on her and she loved it. She loved him. For almost a year, they were the picture of a perfect couple, the whisperings of a future marriage flooding the campus grounds. When they were behind closed doors though, things were different. He was aggressive, dirty, and uncaring. The soft caresses he shared with her in public became bruise-forming grips in private. He rarely finished her off, taking what he wanted, his climax, and then rolling over to let her top it off on her own. She'd feel spent though, her arms and legs having been twisted in ways that were uncomfortable, her throat sometimes struggling for air as he held it tight in his vendetta for what was supposed to be passion. She let him though, because she loved him, or so she thought; at least, the public version of him. It went to far, eventually, her turning to him and refusing what he wanted, saying that she wasn't in love with him anymore and she was leaving. That didn't go over well, and instead, he took it. He took it and it was awful, morbid even, the way he tossed her around like a toy to be had. That was the beginning, and she said she'd never be used again once she was finally able to sneak away.

Korra wasn't one of those people, and she knew it. But, the secrets were too much. She couldn't sit idly by and let another person hold her hostage, regardless of how good it felt. She wanted more, wanted if from Korra, but she was refusing her. So, Asami refused in return and ran. Like a coward, she ran away from something that had the potential to be amazing, all because she couldn't get over the fact that the woman wasn't ready to open up to her yet. 'Would she eventually, though? Would Korra come around later and talk to me?' It was a question that, at this point, seemed as though it would never be answered.

A knock at the door stirred her from her thoughts, one of the receptions walking in as she called for them to come in. "There's a visitor for you, Ms. Sato."

"Oh? I don't have anyone on my schedule until after lunch."

"He says that he doesn't have an appointment… and that he came from a garage."

That peaked her interest. There's only one person she knew from there that would even consider coming to visit her. "You may let him in, and please close the door."

"Yes ma'am," and the woman stepped to the side, signaling the young man to enter, then closing the door behind him.

A bright smile and wide stretched arms moved in to grasp around Asami's delicate frame and she stood and moved around her desk. "ASMAI! It's so good to see you! Fancy seeing you here," he expressed joyfully, releasing her after a moment so that she could breathe once again.

She laughed at the comment. "Bolin, I work here."

"Oh, right. Well, fancy seeing me here!" He shot two thumbs towards his puffed out chest, exclaiming his presence.

"Yes, fancy seeing you here," she began, her smile turning to a look of confusion. "What exactly are you doing here, anyway?"

"A little birdie told me you don't like to eat," he stated as he pulled a backpack off his back, set it on a chair and pulled out a bag of food. "So, I brought you lunch!" He looked exceedingly proud of himself.

Placing a hand on her hip and cocking an eyebrow, she asked, "And who might this birdie be?"

Bolin's expression shifted to one of him not having planned to be asked that. "Umm – a big birdie? That is, bigger than a normal bird. They're kind of small. Yeah, this bird is definitely bigger."

Shaking her head at the ridiculous response, Asami loosened up and moved to pick up the papers off her desk and signaled Bolin to sit. "Alright, fine. We have to make it quick though, I have meetings this afternoon."

He waved her off. "You've got over two hours. I may or may not have peeked at your schedule on that nice lady's desk."

"That doesn't mean I don't have other things to do, you know." Sitting down herself, she grabbed one of the containers that Bolin had pulled from the bag and opened it up. She recognized the sandwich immediately, as she'd been eating them for dinner almost every day for the last couple weeks. Looking from the sandwich to Bolin, who now had a very 'oops' looking expression, she started again. "A little birdie, hmm?"

Mid-bite, Bolin sighed. His teeth retracted from his lunch, the bottom of his lips sticking out in a pout as he put the food down and folded his hands in front of him. He looked at the delicious sandwich then back to Asami and sighed again. "She's hardly moved from that spot."

"What spot?"

"That spot she sits in by the bay door. Yesterday, she fell asleep there with a cold cup of coffee still in her hands. When I tried to ask what she was doing, the only response I got was that she was waiting." He looked at his lunch once more, then down at his hands. "I haven't seen her like this… like, ever. Not even when –" He cut himself off, picking up the meal again and shoving it in his mouth.

"When what?"

"Maidooftnoohw–"

Asami furrowed her brows. "Chew and speak, Bolin. Don't choke yourself."

He raised his hands in a placating gesture. "Muftidofthaffamyfingwefttofay."

Growling slightly under her breath in irritation, she moved to her own meal, a stomach rumble indicating that she was, in fact, hungry. About ten minutes later, they finished up their meals, not having said another word, until Asami tried to break the silence. "What wer–"

"I need to show you something," Bolin cut in, not allowing her to continue. "Let's take a drive." He stood up and threw their trash into a garbage bin on the side of Asami's desk. Looking up at her confused and obviously annoyed expression, he slouched his shoulders and gave the worst begging grin she'd ever seen. "Please?"

Asami closed her eyes and let the wave of frustration roll off. "Fine," she started, much calmer. "But only if you give me at least some sort of indication about what's going on with Korra."

"I can't give you the details, but I can at least show you something that is important." He reached his hand out in a friendly gesture for her to take. "Come on, you'll want to see this."