Christmas time
A/N:- Thank you for the reviews. Enjoy.
"Good night, Emi. Sweet dreams." Shizuo smiled down at the sleeping child. She had finally worn herself out and was now fast asleep in her cot. Turning the light off, he left the room. Izaya was waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs. "Is she asleep?" Unlocking the gate, he stepped through, locking it again. "Yeah, looks like she might sleep all night."
"Lets hope so. We should go to bed too." It wasn't perfect, he could tell there was cracks in their relationship. His lover's words sounded too polished, he was watching what he was saying. "Yeah." Following Izaya into the bedroom, he pulled off his top. Once he was ready for bed, he climbed in and turned over.
"Shizu-chan. Are you okay?" Rolling over, he could see Izaya standing by the bed, the covers in his hand. "Get in the bed. Its fine." Turning back over he closed his eyes. "Can I touch you?" His eyes snapped open. "Not like that. I just want to hold you." Letting out a sigh, he joined Izaya in the centre of the bed, the distance between them lessened. "Sorry, not right now."
There was a complicated look on Izaya's face that he had never seen before. "It's okay. One step at a time. Right?" Nodding his head, he rolled over and closed his eyes. "Good night Shizu-chan." He could tell the flea didn't sound happy. But he wasn't angry either. "Good night Izaya." Maybe his lover felt the same as him. At the moment he felt empty.
When he woke up the next morning, panic shot through him seeing that the other side of the bed was empty. No. Not again. Rolling out of the bed, Shizuo ran from the room. "Good morning, Shizu-chan." Izaya was crouched in front of the high chair, feeding Emi. Rubbing a hand over his face, he tried to calm down. "What's wrong?" Shaking his head he made his way to the kitchen. They had a long way to go.
Filling up a glass of water, he took his pill and then downed another glass, resting his hands on the side of the sink. "Aka Aka." Turning his head, he could see Izaya standing in the doorway, holding a happy little girl. "Everything okay?" His lover knew there was something wrong. "Yeah. Sorry I-" The flea sighed. "You thought I'd taken Emi again." He couldn't deny it.
"I won't do that. Emi, say hello to mummy." Usually it would be his lover that would touch him, instead he took Emi into his arms. "Aka Aka." Shizuo smiled, placing a kiss on her forehead making her giggle. "Still in your kissing phase?"
"Shizu-chan are you sure you want to go to work today?" Letting out a sigh, he faced his lover. "Yeah. Its fine. Emi, you want to see your grandmother don't you?" His daughter giggled, trying to reach for him. "Uh Shizu-chan, don't let my mother hear you call her that." Handing Emi back over to Izaya, he headed for the shower. How long would it take him to trust the flea again?
Stepping out of the shower, Shizuo caught sight of himself in the mirror, running his fingers across his chest. Most of his cuts were already healing, the shallow ones were already gone. Only a few of them should scar. Backing away from the mirror, he quickly got dressed, meeting Izaya at the front door.
His lover's knife didn't hurt that much, Izaya could use it with ease and perfect control. He however was clumsy and had little control. What if he had hurt Izaya? As he moved closer to the door, he studied his lover, trying to see if he was in any pain. "Shizu-chan, ready to go?" Nodding his head, he followed his lover from the house.
They stopped off at the Orihara house, Shizuo unstrapping Emi and carrying her to the door. "Shizuo, do you want to come in?" Shaking his head, he handed Emi's bag over. "I don't have time, me and Izaya have to get to work. Thank you for looking after her." Giving his daughter a kiss, he still hesitated as he handed her over. "Be a good girl." Kyouko took her with a smile. "She'll be fine. Do you want to collect her or should I bring her back later?"
"We'll pick her up later. See you tonight Emi." His little girl giggled waving her hands. "Aba aba." Shaking his head, he looked at Kyouko. The woman who would no longer be his future mother in law. "She's just eaten." Backing away, he waved at the pair until he was in the car with Izaya. "Shizu-chan?" Watching the door close, the blond let out a sigh. "I'm fine."
The rest of the drive was silent, he caught Izaya's gaze in the mirror several times, until he turned away looking out of the window. "Was there a lot of damage?" He couldn't help but ask, guilt flooding through him. "Are you worried? No. Nothing that won't heal." Which meant there were probably some nasty bruises. "What about you?" Shizuo shrugged. "A few cuts, nothing that won't heal." Both he and the flea sighed, lapsing into silence.
"Shizu-Shizu!" As soon as he stepped into the room, Karisawa ran up to hug him. "We were worried when you didn't come back in. Did you have a fight with Iza-Iza?" A smile tugged at his lips, seeing everyone was staring at him. "It's fine." Making his way to his desk, he sat down in his chair. "Well that's a relief. We thought you two had broken up." His eyes widened, staring at Kida.
"What? I hate the bastard, but it's weird when you two aren't together." Erika squealed. "I know. So you and Iza-Iza are still together?" Shizuo rubbed a hand through his hair. "We're working it out." The otaku shook her head, looking distraught. "No! Its not good enough, I won't be happy until you two are lovey dovey again." Kadota was looking pale. "What can you do?" He didn't like the gleam in her eyes.
Good morning my lovely humans. I hope you'll work hard today. Will one person from each department please report to their line manager. Have a good day. They all looked at each other, hearing the fuzz from the speaker fade. "I'll go. I know what this is." Before they could stop her, the otaku had run over to Tom's office. "What's going on?" Both Kida and Mikado looked confused. "Its coming up to Christmas."
Shizuo finally got around to switching on his computer, listening as Kadota explained. "Every year, Izaya gives us a certain amount to decorate the office, each department gets the same. Nearly every year, Karisawa buys everything." He looked up as the only female in the department ran out, holding up an envelope. "Who wants to come shopping with me?" No one answered. "Shizu-Shizu, you're the strongest."
The blond got up without a word. They would be carrying a lot back. "Lets go!" Before he had even left the building he was regretting it. "Shizu-Shizu!" Should he let Izaya know he was going? Then again his boss had given them permission to go. Shaking his head, he followed after the otaku.
Like last year and the year before that, Karisawa was a demon when it came to Christmas. "Shizu-Shizu, hold these." Taking the bags, he watched as she rushed off, calling him over again to pick up something else. By the time they were done, his colleague was carrying several bags, while he was carrying double that and the tree. The woman next to him was squealing loudly. "I can't wait. This will be perfect." Just what did she buy?
Stepping foot back in the building, his brow furrowed in confusion, there had been no tannoy announcement or angry voice. "Shizu-Shizu, come on." Yeah. It looked like Izaya wasn't angry with him. Everyone was watching him as he carried the tree under his arm with ease. When they got to the door, Kadota and Mikado started taking bags off of him. "Everyone start helping."
Shizuo placed the tree in the centre of the room, leaving the two teens to do the lights. "Shizuo, over here." Since he was ridiculously strong and tall, he would do the harder jobs. Glancing around the room, he could see Karisawa had vanished with Walker. Taking the other end of the decoration and some tape, he helped Kadota instead.
"Finished!" Karisawa was back in the room, looking over what they had done. "It looks better than last year." The ceiling was covered in silver and purple decorations, running across the room, it matched the purple tinsel that curled around their computer screens. Glancing behind him he could see what the teens had done to the tree. The lights were bright, the baubles were a range of different colours, a large star sitting on top.
At lunch time, his phone on his desk rang, the screen showing Izaya's name. Picking up the receiver, he answered the call. "Hello?" He could see his work mates all staring at him. Shizu-chan, do you want to come to lunch with me? What did he say to that? Shizu-chan? Damn it. One step at a time. "Yeah. Okay." There was a relieved sigh on the end. Good. I'll be down in a minute, think of where you want to go. The line went dead.
"You're having lunch with Izaya?" Putting the phone back , he nodded his fingers twitching. "Yeah." Getting up, he made his way to the front of the building, waiting for his lover. "Iza-Iza!" Glancing behind him he could see Izaya walking towards him, only to be stopped by the otaku. His eyes narrowed as he caught the sight of something in her hand.
He stopped thinking, his legs moving without his permission, getting closer. "Mistletoe. You have to kiss me." What was she doing? Or better yet what was Izaya doing? "Shouldn't you do that with Yumasaki-kun?" Shizuo watched as Karisawa caught his eye. "No. I want to kiss you." His short nails dug into his palms as he watched her move closer. Reaching out, his fingers hooked in his lover's jacket pulling him back, before he knew what he was doing. Shit.
Crimson eyes looked at him in shock, Erika was grinning from ear to ear. "Shizu-Shizu, enjoy your lunch." Shizuo stared blankly at where she had stood, knowing he had just fallen for a trick. "Shizu-chan." Feeling his face heat up, he let go striding out of the building. Mr god complex caught up with ease. "Have you decided where you want to go?" The blond smiled, glad that he hadn't been questioned. "Yeah, I need to make a few stops first."
"The park?" His lover followed behind him as he found a bench to sit on. "Yeah. I feel calm here." They had stopped off at Russian Sushi, a bakery and the convenience store, before coming to his place of sanctuary. "You came here before." Handing over the plastic container he opened his own. "You remember. This is where I used to talk to Celty every time something was bothering me. Its my safety place."
"I didn't know that." Shizuo shrugged. "It wasn't important. When I got involved with you, I didn't need to come as much. You became my sanctuary." Both his cakes and Izaya's ootoro were left untouched. "I still am. Aren't I?" He had never seen Mr god complex looking so lost. "I hope you will be." Opening the bag of lollipops he had brought, he unwrapped a strawberry one, popping it into his mouth. "Shizu-chan. You've started on lollies again?" He could see the brief flicker of panic. "I felt like smoking again, I chose these instead. I won't smoke in front of our little girl."
"Good. I thought that you were going backwards. Thank you for bringing me here." Shizuo sighed. "We need to trust each other again." He sat in silence, watching the clouds cross the sky. "Saturday, we should go shopping for Emi." Turning his head to the side he caught his lover's gaze. "Its the weekend, will Kyouko mind looking after her again?"
"She'll be more than happy enough to look after her. Monday you'll be with me. Is that okay?" The lolly cracked between his teeth. "Sure. We should head back in a bit." He didn't flinch as Izaya rested a hand on top of his own. "Just a bit longer." Shizuo thought back to his little moment of jealousy. "Yeah." Jut a bit longer, like this it felt more like a date than lunch.
He was disappointed when they had to go back to work. As they walked through the main doors, Izaya turned to him. "Have you told them yet? Don't leave it too long."He watched as Izaya walked away from him, his fingers twitching. He hated the distance that remained between them, even if he was the one keeping them apart. "Shizu-Shizu, I want to show you something. "
Following after Karisawa, he caught sight of mistletoe on each of the door frames. "What do you think? If two people walk underneath any of them, they have to kiss. Its perfect. There will be so much boys love." Rubbing a hand over his face, he tried not to think of what would happen. Sitting back at his desk, he heard the otaku squeal. "Kida-kun, Mikapon you have to kiss now." Everyone looked so happy. He couldn't tell them that he would be leaving.
At last the day was over, meeting Izaya at the car, he climbed in pulling his seatbelt across. "Lets go and get Emi, then we can go home." Digging into his new stash of lollipops, he quickly unwrapped one, putting it in his mouth, as he looked out of the window. "You should pick something else." He could see why Izaya was worried.
The door opened as he got closer to the house, Kyouko was already waiting for him. "She hasn't had dinner yet, I left that for you." He was happy as soon as Emi was back in his arms, tiny hands wrapping around his neck. "...Ma-ma." Shizuo froze, looking down. "Izaya's waiting for you." He watched the door close, before turning back and walking down the path.
"Mama." A tiny hand reached up trying to grab the lolly stick. At so it wasn't because of Shizuka. His lover knew Emi would reach for the it. "Did you call me mama?" His daughter giggled looking up at him. "Mama. Dada." Shizuo smiled. "Good girl. Your father's in the car."
He was still smiling when he strapped Emi into her baby seat. "Why do you look so happy? Did my mother say something?" Shaking his head, he stroked the tiny cheek. "Mama." In the driver's seat his lover clapped. "Well done, sweetie." Slipping in the passenger seat, he closed the door. "Lets go home."
That night he once again settled a hyper little girl to sleep, making his way to their bedroom. Izaya was already in the bed. "Shizu-chan, can I hug you?" Lowering his head, he avoided eye contact. "Still no?" Climbing into bed, he stared up at the ceiling. "Sorry. I can't."
Saturday morning he was happy enough to drop Emi at Kyouko's. He watched as the flea pulled the twins aside. It was probably to lecture them and warn them not to give their little girl sugar again. "Have fun you two." Emi was waving at them. "Mama Dada." Climbing in the car with Izaya, he got ready to spend another day with the flea.
"We should have come earlier. Where the hell do I park?" Eventually they found a space, Mr god complex was mumbling under his breath as he reversed in. "This is why I shop online." Shizuo shrugged, climbing out of the car. "Its not that bad." Closing the door, he walked in step with Izaya. "I suppose, my lovely humans are here."
"That's really creepy." Reaching the store, he grabbed a trolley, noticing more than a few people were staring at him. "Shizu-chan?" His grip tightened on the handle. Since when did he get insecure again? He had accepted everything, hadn't he? His eyes widened as something brushed against his hand, Izaya's fingers entwining with his on the trolley. "Sorry, bear with it." It made him feel a lot better.
"Thanks." His fingers twitched. Pushing the trolley forward he made his way into the happy shoppers. "Shizu-chan, this way." He let Izaya direct him into the sweet aisle. "Why are we here?" Crimson eyes were already passing over the numerous bags. "You need something other than lollipops. Here, suckable sweets." Shizuo smiled, as they were chucked in the trolley. "Thanks."
"You know, humans have their own lives, they don't know anything about you, Shizu-chan. The only one in this whole store that knows you is me. They don't know about Emi either." He felt like an idiot, but Izaya's words took the weight off of his mind. Who was he kidding? Izaya would always be his sanctuary. He really was a foolish man. "I get it."
"Good, we can still leave if you can't handle it. I've ordered the tree and decorations. Its only the presents we need to get." Pushing the trolley, he headed for the childrens aisles and began picking things that he knew his daughter would love. Behind him his lover was grinning. "Who told who not to go overboard?" His hand froze on the plush toy he was holding. "Ah!"
"Not that it matters. Everyone else will spoil her too. We should get her things to help her learn." Dropping the plush toy in the trolley, Shizuo skimmed the shelves. "Don't forget we have to get everyone else as well." Ah, that was right. It wasn't just Emi he had to buy for. There was his friends at work, The Orihara's, his parents, Shinra, Celty and Aiko. Not forgetting Izaya. The people who had stood by him.
By the time they got to the checkout, the trolley was full. "I think that's everything?" He helped Izaya load everything onto the conveyor belt. "I can always come back if its not. You can start packing." Which meant Izaya was going to pay for everything. Standing at the end of the checkout, he began bagging everything and putting it back in the trolley, ignoring everything else around him.
Unlocking the door, Shizuo carried most of the bags inside, leaving them by the side of the sofa, sitting down, he lay back against the cushions. "Shizu-chan. This is the last of it." The remaining bags joined his. "I'll make us a drink." Closing his eyes, he realised he was tired. It was the first time in a very long while that he had been in such a big store, there had been a lot of people.
It wasn't long before Izaya was back, handing him a cup of hot chocolate. "Feeling better?" Blowing on the hot liquid, he tried cooling it before taking a sip. "I don't know. I thought I'd accepted everything. I guess not."The cup was removed from his hand and placed on the table. "Shizu-chan can I hold you?" Wordlessly he nodded, his arms already encircling Izaya.
His lover's arms tightened around him. "Just this. I won't do anything else. The only thing that matters is who you want to be. You have to keep moving forward Shizu-chan. You know they were only staring at you because you're so good looking." His fingers crooked holding onto Izaya. "I know. Don't worry Shizuka isn't coming back. Its just me." Long fingers carded through his hair. "That's fine. You're perfect the way you are."
His heart beat quickened, resting his head on Izaya's shoulder. "Its always been you... We should get Emi." He was beginning to miss his little girl. "Once you feel better we'll go. I won't leave you on your own." Shizuo sighed. "Thanks Izaya." Just a bit longer. The blond smiled closing his eyes, once again reminded of why he loved Izaya so much. The moment was ruined by a knock at the door.
An hour and a half later, he and Izaya were standing outside the door, waiting for Kyouko to answer. "Coming." The door swung open, but there was no sign of Emi in the woman's arms. "Shizuo, Izaya. Come in." Next to him, his lover sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Mairu gave her sugar, didn't she?" Sure enough, Emi was hyper again, looking up as they entered the room. "Mama Dada."
Shizuo crouched down, catching his little girl as she ran to him, stumbling a few times. Tiny arms wrapped around his neck. "Aka aka." Scooping her up, he held her close, placing a kiss on her forehead. "Look how hyper you are. Lets go home." Emi giggled as he carried her, yanking his hair. "Emi, stop pulling mummy's hair."
"You have to be careful now we've put the christmas decorations up." His little girl giggled as he carried her from the car. Unlocking the door he carried her inside, setting her down on the floor, keeping a loose hold on her. It had taken them less than an hour to decorate the house. All the decoarations were high up, a mix of red and green, except for the tree, which had replaced the table, standing tall. He smiled seeing his daughter's eyes light up as she looked up. "This is a christmas tree, don't touch it."
There was an excited screech when Izaya flicked the switch the lights coming on. Music played from the base. Slowly letting Emi go, he watched as she ran up to it. Instead of reaching out, she sat down, staring up at the tree, arms raised for the star on top. "Looks like we don't have to worry." Shizuo smiled, popping one of his sweets in his mouth as he took a seat on the sofa. "She looks excited." His lover sat down on the floor, Emi climbing into his lap, crimson eyes meeting his own. "Of course. This is our first christmas as a family."
Next:- Mended rift