3:27AM

Was I too harsh on Elsa?

Why am I afraid of relying on her so called feelings for me?

And what about Sam? She was a big part of my life and she's still trying to fix her wrong doings, yet somehow I feel like... She wouldn't be my pick if I had to choose.

But what about Elsa?

Ugh, they're so different!

Samantha's fun and spontaneous, she's willing to keep up with whatever I'm up to...

Elsa... Elsa's confident, smart, sexy. She's also someone I can confide in, someone I can trust.

Everything I am, Samantha is and yet... Elsa is at another spectrum...

I'm east and she's west.

I'm the sun and she's the moon.

She's the winter and I'm the summer.

We are opposites and no matter how much we fight, one can't exist without the other.

Anna didn't mean it, she was obviously just mad. In the moment and angry.

The look on her face said it all; she was truly sorry.

Yet she thinks that's the only thing I am upset about: the fact that she brought up my family.

I've always gotten what I wanted and everyone who I've wanted has always wanted me back. But this is more than wanting...more than just lust, more than attraction. This is...Caring, wanting to protect...

Why can't she see that?

I want her to be happy and I want to be the reason for her happiness. Does that make me selfish? Wanting to spend time around her, be it good times or bad?

Is it bad to want to solve all her problems and make her life easier?

Most importantly, why have I never felt this for anyone before?

I wish it were easy to walk away from her like it's been in previous relationships. But Anna and I, well, we may only be friends but damn is she addicting!

Then there's Samantha... Everything Anna's ever wanted; someone who's just like her.

We're different but Anna is willing to give both of us a chance...

She did say she didn't trust my feelings, or rather my intentions. But damn it all! I have never been more sure about anything else my whole life.

She wants us to share her... for both of us to be part of her life. I can't walk away.

Unless... What if she's doing this as a sort of test? To see if I really meant what I said or if I just said it to get rid of Samantha.

She wants me to prove it to her that I really care...

The sound of glasses and chatter surrounded the small booth in the bar she had visited so many times before. Nothing seemed to change since the last time she visited, the bartender was the same, the set up was the same, even the smell, not to mention Samantha was sitting in front of her. She had been the one to introduce her to that bar, and she felt comfortable since then. "Feels homey," she had said the second time she stepped foot in that bar.

And now, her what? Thirtieth time and things seemed just like they had been back then, despite the break up.

"I think I feel nostalgic," Anna commented after looking around slowly for a while, taking the place in.

"Eh... I don't think nostalgic is the word you're looking for. You make it sound so sad." Sam took a sip of her beer.

"You're right, it definitely wasn't sad." Anna smiled and Samantha's eyes lightened as if all of the sudden she had realized something.

"Hey, remember that time you almost got in a fight against some arrogant douchebag?" Sam smirked.

Anna couldn't contain her laughter, how could she forget, "more like the time the whole bar almost got in a fight against me. I wasn't even drunk!"

Sam joined in on her amusement, "and the look on your face. I swear I could never forget it; I've never seen you so scared in my whole life."

"Hey! I might have been scared but at least I was brave enough to stay. Unlike a certain someone," she pointed at Samantha in front of her, "who ran out as quickly as she could."

"What? You can't blame me! I was getting the car," Sam raised up her hands defensively.

"Ha ha. Car my ass, when I finally made it out you were pacing outside."

"Well damn, and here I thought you were too drunk to remember that part." Sam shook her head playfully.

"Which goes to prove that I wasn't drunk," Anna gave her a 'you-know-I'm-right' smile.

"Fine, fine. So then you definitely remember what happened after, right? At my apartment?" The blonde winked.

"How could I forget? Your neighbor wasn't too pleasant."

"Well I was referring to what happened after that but yea, that night was not your night. Luckily he moved out."

"You should have seen his face..." Anna proceeded to make a weird expression; puffy cheeks and pursed lips, imitating the small, chubby man.

Samantha's laughter quickly echoed through the walls, causing her to almost spill out her drink. Anna couldn't help but do the same, Sam's face was hilarious.

I almost forgot how much fun Sam is to be around.

"I like it when you look at me like that..." Samantha said as she noticed the way Anna stared at her.

"What way is that?" She sighed contently.

"Like the good old times," the blonde simply stated.

"You have no idea how much I missed the good old times." Anna half smiled, reminiscing.

"Missed or miss?" Sam arched an eyebrow, intrigued.

"Give me some time, I'm still trying to adjust." Anna seemed unsure.

What am I saying? Do I not miss her anymore? This is what I wanted, despite the suffering she put me through.

"Well, I kind of miss those times too." Sam continued, she made a gesture to the waitress for another round.

"You never did tell me what happened with your parents, you could have confided in me, you know? But instead you just left me..."

Samantha had an apologetic look on her face. "I know, I'm sorry. Now that I think about it I realize I could have done things differently. I was stupid and I regret it. I regret breaking up with you and hurting you. It's one of my biggest regrets because..." She shifted her eyes, unsure, "because I know I might not be able to get you back. Elsa really cares about you and you care about her too, I can tell."

Anna only stared at the girl in front of her. She was playing with her drink while pouring her heart out and all Anna could do was stare back at her. "How-how do you know about Elsa?"

Samantha looked up to find Anna's eyes. "Oh please, have you seen the way you two behave next to each other? You only have eyes for her; she's all you ever talk about. You get this look in your eyes... A look of admiration, as if there isn't anyone else around...and she, well, it's clear that everything she does is so that you're happy. I can tell she hates seeing you upset. And she practically knows your order!"

"My order?"

"Yes, remember that time when she and I first met at the cafe?"

"Ah, yes." Anna couldn't hide her smile. What Samantha was telling her was true; the signs were there she just never bothered to see them.

Elsa... If only she were here right now.

She felt hollow and empty all of the sudden, the sensation overtook her.

Why am I not with her right now?

"You're thinking of her right now, aren't you?" Sam interrupted her thoughts.

"What are you? A mind reader?" Anna joked and Samantha stuck her tongue out to her. "Let's get going, shall we? I don't want to end up leaving drunk, again."

The weekend went by faster than anyone anticipated, and although that meant a new school and work week would begin, Anna knew that also meant Christmas break was just around the corner.

Things with Sam appeared to be going back to normal. Surprisingly enough for Anna, Elsa seemed to have accepted her terms. Anna assumed there'd be tension between the two but as the weekend progressed, Elsa acted nothing but normal around her, which obviously lifted a burden off the redhead's shoulders.

There was something different and it was felt in the everyday actions and conversations between the two. Of course they both assumed it was normal now that they both were aware of how they felt about each other.

"Anna, wake up." The redhead heard a soft whisper and felt a hand on her arm, shaking her. She slowly opened her eyes and registered Elsa's words.

"What... time... is it?" Anna responded sleepily between yawns.

"Seven. I just got back from my run and you're still asleep. Are you not going to class today?" Elsa stepped back and continued her routine.

The redhead quickly sat up and looked around for her phone, "what?! Seven?"

"Did you forget to set your alarm?" Elsa giggled.

"Why didn't you wake me up?"

"I just did." Elsa couldn't hide her amusement as she saw a tiny figure running back and forth, trying to get her things ready.

"Do you mind if I step in the shower first? I won't take long, I promise." Anna asked halfway into the bathroom. "What are you laughing at?" She asked as she heard Elsa's laugh.

"Look at your shirt, it's all over the place...and your hair..."

Anna snuck her head through the half opened door to give Elsa a look. "Just for that I'm showering first whether you like it or not," she narrowed her eyes and shook her head.

"Go ahead; we don't want you running late."

"Hey, Elsa?" The blonde turned to look at her after she popped out of the shower. "I was wondering..."

"What's that?"

"Do you think you'd be able to help me with some calculus tonight? Well it doesn't have to be tonight, I just have my calculus final coming up and you know, math isn't my thing... I can totally ask someone else if you're not available but I mean, last time you helped me I did really well, better than when I joined a study group. I did th-"

Elsa chuckled, "I can't believe you're rambling right now."

Anna quickly stopped, "so is that a yes or a no?"

"No." Elsa said with her back turned towards Anna.

"Oh..."

"I'm kidding," Elsa continued with a smirk on her face. "Did you really think I'd say no?"

"You know? I would throw something at you for that but I really am in a hurry."

"Gee, thanks for the heads up. I guess that's your way of showing gratitude?" Elsa joked.

"I'll show you gratitude tonight-" Anna stopped herself after noticing what she might have implied, she noticed the blush on Elsa's face and proceeded to try and hide her own. "I mean... I'll really appreciate it if you help me."

"Of course," Elsa smiled, not wanting to elaborate.

"Great, I'll see you then!"

As much as Elsa wanted to pay attention in her last class, she could not help but get distracted. Time was passing much too slowly for her liking. She was in no hurry, but definitely looking forward to spending time with Anna later.

Calm down, it won't be anything special...

Plus you're around her most of the time.

No matter what she told herself, she could not keep her excitement to a minimum. She had to show Anna that she meant it when she had said she had feelings for her. Plus things were different now that they understood each other at another level.

Her phone vibrated as the professor turned to the next slide on the projector. Business law wasn't usually this boring but writing notes day after day rather than interacting wasn't something she was glad she'd signed up for.

Hmm. A text from Ygrette? That's news.

Ygrette: Father wants us to meet him tonight...

Elsa: Now he wants to talk?

Ygrette: Does it matter? This is all you've wanted for years and now he's willing to talk to you.

Great fucking timing.

Elsa: I can't tonight.

Ygrette: How can you pass up an opportunity like this one?

Elsa bit her lip, she no longer paid attention to whatever the professor was saying. Years after her mother's death, years of ignoring and distance, and now her father was willing to talk to her. After trying to reach him multiple times, and failing, she had completely given up and now... Now he was willing to put it all behind, well, or at least meet and talk.

Elsa: I really can't tonight. He made me wait years, he should understand.

Ygrette: Have it your way then.

She sat in the classroom for the rest of the hour, not bothering to pay attention and indecisive about just walking out. The only thing she could do was think. Why would her father seek contact all of the sudden?

Surely Anna wouldn't mind if they postponed. She began to hesitate but it was too late to change her mind. If she weighed the pros and cons then Anna deserved her attention more than her father did. And as much as she wanted to reconcile with her father, her relationship with Anna mattered most to her right now.

Her father had given her everything she had; food, clothes, an education, job opportunities, and enough money to do whatever she wanted and yet... No love. Even if she felt like she owed him something in return, she convinced herself that he never really was a fatherly figure, not to her anyway. He left when she needed him the most and managed to drive her sister away from her as well. Why would she be grateful for anything?

Plus if he really wants to talk why can't he just tell me himself? Why does it have to be through Ygrette?

The more she thought about it, the more complicated the topic got. Luckily for her, class was dismissed earlier than usual so she wouldn't have to deal with the lecture any longer.

Elsa spotted Anna on her phone as she entered the dorm room. She had taken longer than usual to get home after stopping by for some take out. Anna's eyes widened as she turned to look at her.

"I can't tell if you're more happy to see me or the food," Elsa remarked.

"Maybe both," the redhead put her phone down and twitched her eyebrows. "I'm kidding, I'm happy to see you," she said after noticing the pout Elsa made.

"Good. Otherwise you wouldn't have gotten any of this food," a smug smirk played on her face.

Anna rolled her eyes and stood up to grab one of the bags on Elsa's hand. The blonde took the liberty of putting her things away before returning and sitting next to Anna, who was sitting on the floor against the edge of her bed.

"Let's eat first and get to studying after, you know I won't be able to concentrate."

"Can't multi-task?" Elsa asked. She noticed the way the redhead struggled to open one of the boxes. She couldn't hold her laugher at the face Anna was currently making, squinted eyes and nose with an expression of annoyance. "Let me help you with that," she reached her arm out to Anna.

"Yeah, plus I'm starving." Anna finally gave up and handed it to Elsa.

"What did you have for lunch?"

"I had to skip lunch, forgot to do one last minute assignment and so I had to work on it."

Elsa eyed her. "Well, did you manage to finish it at least?"

Anna nodded and hummed a sign of approval. She waited to speak until after she swallowed her food. "What about you? How was your day?"

"Slow but I managed."

Slow because I kept looking forward to this all day.

"Hey, Elsa?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I ask you something?" Anna's voice became squeaky.

"You already have."

Anna rolled her eyes, "you know what I mean."

"Yeah, yeah. I know," Elsa laughed.

"Okay so now there are no secrets between us - I mean I hope there are not - I've been thinking a lot and now I have a bunch of questions."

"Uh-oh," Elsa said sarcastically, "is there anyway I can get out of this interrogation?" Anna only nudged her arm. "Ask away," she finally said.

"When did you know you had feelings for me?" Elsa stared at her, a bit startled. "I know you hated the fact that I came on to you, Elsa. I could have sworn you hated me after that, so when did your feelings change for me?"

It was indeed an unexpected question, but she had to give Anna more credit than she deserved. In the middle of their unusual situation, she never did stop to think when she started to look at her in a romantic way.

Elsa's phone beeped, alerting her of a new text, which she ignored after looking at the sender.

"Umm... After what happened, some time after you decided to give me the cold shoulder, which I totally deserved, I guess I started to develop these feelings for you..." She didn't intend to, but her face displayed nothing but honesty.

"So when we were at my parents-"

Elsa cut her off before the redhead could finish, "yes. My feelings just got stronger..." she bit her lip.

"So the whole "pretending" bit wasn't actually pretending?"

"Oh Anna, I would like nothing more than to be your girlfriend and I guess I was pretending, but it was definitely something I wanted to be real."

That response caught Anna a little off guard but she chose not to comment on the former part of the sentence. "Why didn't you tell me then?"

Elsa thought about it for a while, another text interrupted her train of thought only to be ignored again. "Because I was afraid of your response. Samantha probably wouldn't have been involved if I had told you; hell, you probably wouldn't have even let her in your life, but like you said, you could have rejected me just like I did you..."

"Oh..." Was all Anna could respond. They had both left the food aside to instead focus on their talk. Unlike the many other talks they had, or rather arguments, this one was one of the few where they both managed to stay calm and make an effort to understand the other.

"But you should know-" Elsa continued, "I understand how confusing it must be for you with Sam around and of course, I also understand your decision, whatever it may be."

That gave Anna more to think about, perhaps Elsa said what she said because she actually meant it and not because she wanted Samantha out of the picture.

Anna smiled and sighed, at least they were getting somewhere now. "Thanks for that." Elsa only nodded and smiled in return.

"Well I don't know about you but I'm not hungry anymore," Elsa tried changing the subject.

"Yeah, I've had enough as well. I wasn't THAT hungry," the redhead rubbed her hand over her belly.

"I'm sure you'll change your mind once we start going over calculus."

"Ah, yes. I completely forgot. You know? I never see you studying yet I bet you ace all your exams."

Elsa was looking at her phone again, another text. "Well, sometimes I do study and other times I just feel confident enough to take the test."

"Lucky you. How do you do it?" Anna asked as she sat bad down with some notes and books.

"It's called paying attention," Elsa joked which only earned her another nudge from Anna.

"I do pay attention! Just not all,the time," she flipped through some pages.

"Well see, there you go. It is hard to stay focused sometimes though, especially when you have thoughts running around in your head."

"Aw, do I keep running around in your head?" Anna only meant it as a joke and gave out a small laugh after noticing the blush on Elsa's face. "How cute!"

"Okay, let's get to calculus now, please."

"Only if you stop getting distracted by your phone," Anna said as she noticed yet another text. She dropped her book quick enough to snatch the phone away from the blonde who fought to get it back and failed, "let's see who keeps texting you?"

Anna looked through the phone cautiously and finally saw what she needed to see. "Elsa... This is important..."

"No it's not, he can wait."

"You know I'm not letting you stay here with me if you have the opportunity to fix things with your father. There's a reason he asked to see you and I know this is something you've wanted for a long time."

"That's true but-"

"No buts Elsa. I'm really grateful that you'd rather stay here and help me but I can't let you waste and opportunity like this."

"Anna, I can't-"

"Yes, you can. I know you can." Anna got closer and started rubbing the blonde's back. "And you know you'll go because it doesn't take much to convince you." Elsa nodded. "Tell you what, I'll even go with you."

That was one of the reasons why she loved Anna, she had the power to make her do things she wouldn't have done otherwise. Perhaps most importantly, she was also willing to support her, and she understood what she was going through. One of the many reasons she had fallen for her, maybe too late but she had done it nonetheless. That spurred something within her, something indescribable. She had the urge to kiss the redhead, to lean in and take her by surprise.

And she did. She found Anna's lips. Startled at first but the redhead completed the action to perfection, giving each other small room to breathe.

"Elsa, as much as I want to make out with you right now, we should really get going." Anna said in between kisses.

Elsa grunted and pulled away, "unfortunately, you're right." She leaned in for one last kiss before they both stood up and headed for the door.

AN: Not really much comments from me today, chapter 28 is finished and should be up soon, not today but soon. I do have one question for you guys, Samantha or Elsa? I think I know what the answer will be but you never really know.

Many thanks to Bijnaam who takes time out of her day to go over this chapters, thanks so much!

Also, I've been reading a lot of your reviews and have been trying to reply to you I just haven't had much time, I will get to it though!