Double update! This is a random chapter. I literally read it back and was like 'the hell did i just write?'
Disclaimer: I only own Nyx.
I sit up for a while after I wake up, trying to clear my head from the clinging images of pain and death. The clock next to my bed says 3:06 and I know all of the Avengers are asleep. Sitting alone in the darkness, the scene of me killing Tyr replays in my head on an endless loop. I sit with my knees hugged to my chest, my arms slung across them. I'm shaking slightly, and my eyes are wide.
I killed Tyr. I killed Tyr. I'm a monster. Demon. I lost control. I killed him.
Pull yourself together. You did it because he lied to you. You had no choice.
My mind fought itself, confusing me further the longer it went on. Monster. He lied. Demon. Justified. Wrong. Right. Light. Dark. Tyr. Father. STOP.
Pressing my hands against my forehead, I willed my mind to just shut up. The side that was eaten away by the Void and the side that wasn't had been at war a lot lately. I wanted it to stop. It was giving me a headache.
I could feel my conscience and my magic pulling me back to the Void. I missed its darkness, it's peacefulness and it's power. It had been too long.
Without a second thought, I got up and changed into my catsuit and boots, and strapped my katanas to my back. Then I teleported to the Void. I didn't go far, I was in the Voids between Midgard and Jotunheim. As soon as I materialised there, I breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed in its cool hold. Magic crackled around me, my mind was quiet, and I felt at home.
Which immediately made me feel very not at home.
I don't have a home, remember? Last of my kind. Demons of the Void. Although I guess that it makes sense why I like the Void so much. It technically is my home.
I am not a Demon. I am not a monster. I don't belong here. So why am I here? Face it, you feel more at home here. Shut up! If you can't face yourself, how will you face Hela?
I groaned and buried my face in my hands. I was sick of my mind yelling at itself and giving me headaches all of the time. Even the Void would not shut it up.
I knew what I had to do. I teleported back to Midgard, but not to New York. This time, I was in London. A safe enough distance from the Avengers that I could get away with a few murders. I could always lose myself in the thrill of killing, of feeling superior to the mortals. It never failed.
An hour later, a good handful of civilians were dead, and I was feeling much better. My mind was satisfied, and at peace. I was wandering the lamplit streets and playing around with the iPod of one of the people I had killed. During my time on Midgard, I had become familiar with their technology and their culture, including their music. Since I was bored, and not ready to go back to the tower, I put the headphones in my ears and scrolled through the songs until I found one I recognised. I sat down on a bench in the abandoned park as the music started.
/
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum
/
No more gas in the rig
Can't even get it started
Nothing heard, nothing said
Can't even speak about it
Out my life, out my head
Don't wanna think about it
Feels like I'm going insane, yeah
/
"It's a thief in the night" I started singing aloud.
"To come and grab you.
It can creep up inside you, and consume you.
A disease of the mind, it can control you.
It's too close for comfort." The park was deserted, which I was glad for. I didn't need any mortals hearing me sing.
/
"Throw on your brake lights
We're in the city of wonder
Ain't gonna play nice
Watch out, you might just go under
Better think twice
Your train of thought will be altered
So if you must falter be wise" I started getting lost in the music, like I always did, forgetting where I was or what I had just done or what I was running from.
/
"Your mind is in disturbia
It's like the darkness is the light
Disturbia
Am I scaring you tonight?
Disturbia
Ain't used to what you like
Disturbia
Disturbia" A couple walked past me, and I stopped singing, just watching them. They seemed so happy. Something I had never felt. I sat there in silence as I listened to the next words.
/
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum.
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum
/
Faded pictures on the wall
It's like they talkin' to me
Disconnecting all the calls
Your phone don't even ring
I gotta get out
Or figure this shit out
It's too close for comfort, oh.
/
"It's a thief in the night" I sang as the couple passed out of earshot.
"To come and grab you.
It can creep up inside you, and consume you.
A disease of the mind, it can control you.
I feel like a monster" I sighed and rubbed my temples. That really hit home.
/
"Throw on your brake lights
We're in the city of wonder
Ain't gonna play nice
Watch out, you might just go under
Better think twice
Your train of thought will be altered
So if you must falter be wise
/
Your mind is in disturbia
It's like the darkness is the light
Disturbia
Am I scaring you tonight?
Disturbia
Ain't used to what you like
Disturbia
Disturbia" Leaning back on the bench, I watched the horizon as the rest of the song played. The sun was starting to come up.
/
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum.
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum
/
Release me from this curse I'm in
Trying to maintain
But I'm struggling
If you can't go, go, go
I think I'm gonna oh, oh, oh
/
Throw on your brake lights
We're in the city of wonder
Ain't gonna play nice
Watch out, you might just go under
Better think twice
Your train of thought will be altered
So if you must falter be wise
/
Your mind is in disturbia
It's like the darkness is the light
Disturbia
Am I scaring you tonight?
Disturbia
Ain't used to what you like
Disturbia
Disturbia
/
I sat there in silence for a while after the song had finished, watching the sun rise. I don't want this world to be destroyed.
The thought came from a part of my mind I thought had been lost. I was surprised the second I thought it.
I'm going soft, I laughed to myself, get yourself together.
I teleported back to the Tower in New York and changed into jeans and a black T-Shirt, putting my hoodie back on and leaving my room in search for food. None of them would ever know that I had left. It was better that way.
After breakfast, Thor found me in the hallway and stopped me.
"What?" I may need Thor's help, but that does not mean I like him. I crossed my arms over my chest and scanned the corridor for Loki. He would get suspicious if he saw Thor talking to me. Does Thor know I left?
"I managed to convince them. They, and I, want to hear your plan." He said, staring at me emotionlessly. Nope. He doesn't know I left. Good.
"They trust me?" I was honestly surprised. I thought it would take a lot longer than this.
Thor shook his head. "No. They do trust my opinion, though."
I nodded. Figures. Why would they trust me, after all? I followed Thor down the hallway, not allowing myself to think too hard about what I was about to do.
Hah. Bet you weren't expecting that. Song is 'Disturbia' by 'Rihanna', I don't own it.
Please review. Cya.