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Disclaimer: Sakurako Kimino, the creator of Strawberry Panic and Media Factory, the company that sponsors its anime, own all copyrighted material this fanfiction may include such as characters, events, et cetera.
The rest of it is mine... ALL MINE! BWAHAHAHHA! *thunder crackles in the background* ... So no stealing! =p Well, unless you ask me nicely. ^.^;;;
Author's Note: Oh, I wouldn't worry too much about Eiko. She's only in her first year, after all. =p I'm happy to see that emo Yaya is well-received, though. There's about to be more of her. xD And soon! And probably, or as I hope it is, an unexpected form of emo. ^_^
The point of this chapter, as defined by its title is a pause to reflect. *realises not everyone might know what the word means* o_O Er, there'll be an explanation at the bottom. x) There had been many events in the first half, most of which have yet to be resolved. Though this chapter will not be doing any resolving, either, it will expand on the damage dealt by them. Well, results more so than just damage. =p Mm, and perhaps some resolving... maybe. *poof*
~Strawberry Panic: The Second Year~
"Summer has arrived. The sun is shining so much brighter these days." Yaya says to herself, wandering the perimeter of her family's estate.
She has taken to a specific wooden plank of an arbitrary portion of the fence surrounding the house. The sunlight bounces from it in such a way as to acquire her attention and, for the moment, she chooses to be mesmerised. Summer school has come and gone and the students of Astraea Hill have returned home for holiday, Yaya included. In another few days, the next term of her fourth year will begin. There will be circumstances she will need to face. So for now, she wanders in the elapse.
Fermata
There are more voices at the Strawberry Dorms than expected at this time. Most years see a virtually empty campus where only a lagging few remain behind. This time, given the fun they've been having, a group resists returning to their homes. However, for one of them, not every person is accounted for.
"She's been gone longer than usual, hasn't she?" One asks.
"Has she?" Her friend replies, "Are you worried about her, Tsubomi-chan?"
The pink-haired girl quickly feigns a pout and fires back a retort, "She usually contacts someone during the summer. It's the responsible thing to do. That's all I mean to say."
"She didn't this time?" Remon asks.
Tsubomi shakes her head as Kizuna ponders. She suggests that it might have been a simple oversight. It isn't uncommon to be forgetful of routines during a break from them. Tsubomi isn't convinced. The girl was missing from Summer School, as well, an event that she usually attended as a favourite. It was commonly believed that the girl strove to pass her Spring Exams for the sole purpose of being allowed to partake in it.
"Do you think something is keeping her away?" Eiko sheepishly asks, her heart weighted.
"Keeping her away?" Remon replies, unsure of the first year's meaning.
"What could that be?" Tsubomi further questions, taking the new hypothesis to mind.
Her kouhai quickly excuses herself, "Oh, nothing. I was just thinking out loud."
Tsubomi smiles at her, "Well, it is a sensible reason, Eiko-chan, so maybe we should leave it at that."
"Isn't there anyone who could help us figure it out?" Chiyo, who'd been listening quietly as the topic unfolded, finally speaks up.
Raven strands compliment a pair of ruby red bows as the shepherd twirls about in her frilled white dress. Her tan bodice is bound tight, leaving very little of her shapely figure to the imagination, though the long sleeves and ruffled collar allow her to maintain her modesty. She is accessorised with her herding staff, but the design resembles more a wizard's wand than might be useful for guiding her flock.
Shizuka takes in all these details when making the strokes with her pencil, hoping to minimise any erasures. It has been peaceful the past few days. The sun has been shining brightly overhead and she and her roommate have been relatively undisturbed. That could only mean one thing, of course.
The door to their room suddenly pops open and a clutter of noise disrupts the tranquility in the air. A head of green and another a two-tailed ginger drag a third draped in beige that suits her yellow eyes. Her long pink tassels flail about as she struggles against her captors and lightly whip against a girl in a traditional green summer dress.
"C'mon, Tsubomi-chan, just tell her. Chikaru-oneesama is great at these sorts of things." Kizuna grunts, tugging at the younger girl's arms.
"At what sorts of things?" The aforementioned oneesama asks.
"We think something might be wrong with Yaya-san." Chiyo explains.
"Oh?" Shizuka voices, though she continues working on her sketch.
Tsubomi finally gives in and provides more information, "She wasn't at Summer School and we haven't seen her all summer."
"Might she have gone home?" Shizuka asks, though her words carry a underlying tone of rhetoric.
"Yes, she does go home for the summer usually, but so do we and, when we do, we…" Chiyo begins to answer, but has difficulty navigating the proper statements.
"We're friends so we usually keep in touch even when we do go home." Tsubomi adds to finish Chiyo's answer.
"That is odd." Chikaru notes, placing a hand to her chin in thought.
"What do you think we should do, Chikaru-oneesama?" Kizuna asks, hopping over to her side.
"How could it have failed so absolutely?" Makoto grimaces, watching the stone she's thrown into the lake skid.
She stumbles about the grassy rim around the lake at the heart of Astraea Hill lost in thought. Since the travesty of the Senkou Dance, the Spica Student Council representative has lost herself to grief. There was a time when sparks were alight within her, fueling a decisive nature and unwavering cleverness. However, following the events of that dance, Makoto could find no more. All that was left was reflection, which Makoto denies continuously ever since. She abhors failure and that is all her reflections have shown her.
"I listened to every word you said, Shion-senpai." She proceeds to say in the company of no one, "I was careful. I was calculating. I made sure everything was in place before starting the dominoes down their way."
In frustration, she grabs for another rock and lobs it into the water. "I thought I was safe…"
"Do you feel guilty?" A voice whispers in the distance.
"What?" Makoto enquires, turning to see a slight blonde girl holding a large stuffed bear in her arms.
"You shouldn't feel guilt." The girl continues to say, steadily approaching.
Upon closer observation, Makoto's memory is refreshed of her present company. At that dance, that same horrible dance, she'd seen this girl. It had been the only time and had been behind guises, but there was no mistaking that expressionless countenance. The gaze is alarming in its harmlessness. It is as the mask had represented that night, empty surface, but with much shielded underneath. For Makoto, this expressionless expression is also an opportunity… or at the very least, it's an escape.
"I did everything. I made sure of it. How could it have not succeeded?" She grumbles to the girl, walking to meet her.
"You tried very hard."
"I did."
"Was it too hard?"
"Too… No, I made sure of all the details and left nothing to chance. That isn't too hard; it is just hard enough… Isn't it?"
"Maybe." Kagome mutters, looking down at Percival.
"Did I go too far?"
"Kusanagi-san's heart was in the right place. That is important, right?"
Makoto finds herself struggling to keep her composure, "I think it was more pride than heart."
"But Kusanagi-san is wiser now, isn't she?" Kagome notes.
"Love deserves time."
"Pride should have kept that from you." To that, Makoto's eyes grow wide, finally coming to the realization.
Wind blows through Tsubomi's long hair, the helmet Shizuka'd provided her hardly improving conditions. She currently sits behind the uncouth rider, holding on for dear life as their two-wheeled transport zooms across roads and crossings. Her mind flashes moments of her short life as each oncoming vehicle rushes past. It has started scolding her poor decision-making, mostly with regards to the mode of travel taken by their friends.
"I think we should seek her out." Shizuka had suggested, changing into a leather jacket and removing her skirt to reveal a pair of worn jeans.
If that wasn't fair warning, Kizuna and Remon's sudden change in complexion from a healthy rose to pale blue should have sufficed. Tsubomi reasons that she was in a stupour by the abruptness of the upperclassman and this pause lapsed the window of time in which she could have rejected her proposal. Of course, that reasoning didn't account for the fact that the proposal hadn't been made at that point.
"Shizuka, I don't think we're going to fit on your motorcycle." Chikaru noted.
"No, that you won't. She will. I'm taking Tsubomi." Ah, there's the proposal.
"Then, the rest of us will follow in via taxi."
"Shizuka-senpai! Don't you think we're going a bit fast?" Tsubomi screams into the wind, hoping she's loud enough to be heard.
"Maybe, but time is of the essence."
"Why?"
"No reason. I just thought it was an appropriate moment to use that line."
Tsubomi is utterly godsmacked by that statement, but Shizuka notices and giggles before adding, "I think it would be best if you got there first."
The second year takes this into consideration and remains in silent thought the rest of the journey. Though unsure if this is the case, there is a part of Tsubomi that does want to see her Yaya-senpai before the crowd arrives. She had hoped to have done so at the Senkou Dance and again at Summer School when she didn't at the dance. As the thought occurs to her, she slowly comes to realise where they are headed and a blush creeps upon her features. Once again, she's at a loss over the why, but they soon arrive and she moves on from it to follow Shizuka to the door.
"There's no answer." Shizuka announces after pressing the doorbell for the third time.
"What do we do?"
"No answer means they're out, but given the situation, perhaps Yaya only doesn't want to receive visitors."
Tsubomi stares at the older girl, beginning to regret her decisions again. Shizuka ponders the known information and leads the hapless second year around the house. Her target seems to be the building's windows, which she immediately peers into as soon as she reaches.
"As suspected, there seems to be no one at home." Shizuka divulges, continuing onto the next window.
"Then how are we supposed to find Yaya?"
Shizuka takes Tsubomi's hand and leads her to the next window, "If my suspicions are correct, we won't need to."
Again, this only puzzles the young girl who lets loose a dissatisfied groan, taking her free hand to her forehead. She is pulled off by the detective to "scope out the terrain" or something. Once they've made a full sweep of the premises, Shizuka determines that they are alone. Tsubomi blurts a frustrated comment that they already knew this, but Shizuka points out that the window they've arrived at was the key factor in her desire to ensure they were alone. Confused, Tsubomi goes to look into it and finds a person with dark hair poking out of a blanket she has wrapped herself in as she huddles in bed.
"Is that?" Tsubomi asks.
"I believe so, which means we need a way in." Shizuka replies, taking the girl back to the front door.
"What are you going to do?"
To that, the star of Lulim goes to remove a hairpin from some of her ebony bundles. Tsubomi's eyes go wide as she comes to understand the girl's meaning. Expertly, Shizuka takes the pin to the doorknob and, within moments, the door opens.
"Senpai, isn't this against the law?" Tsubomi insinuates, now nervous and frantically peeking over her shoulders.
"Desperate times." Is her cool reply, which further befuddles the girl.
She proceeds to motion for Tsubomi to enter, but as Tsubomi does so, she remains on the other side of the threshold, prompting the second year to question her inaction. To this, the upperclassman only smiles, noting that this mission is for Tsubomi alone to undertake. She wishes her good luck before shutting the door.
"I thought I was doing the right thing. Shion-senpai devoted the whole of her term in office towards the betterment of Spica. I followed everything she did, all of her moves." Makoto recounts as she sits with her newfound audience.
Kagome uses Percival's paw to pet her hand as she listens to the girl. Makoto believes wholeheartedly in her failure and is not taking it all too well. She lists all her steps and, one by one, examines their every shortcoming. If there was a single flaw, it would no longer be able to hide from her. Within moments, though, the sorted self-analysis dissolves into rants assigning blame for the outcome and accusations about shortsightedness.
It isn't long after, however, that the girl expends too much energy and collapses back into her seat. Kagome takes this time to pet her with the bear, but she doesn't say anything as she knows that any minute…
"I'm a fool." Makoto growls, slamming a fist on her lap, "To think, I was trying to match someone that, even in all her wisdom and power, she couldn't motivate the prince on her own."
She takes her eyes to Kagome whose eyes have never left her, "You're right, little one. It was pride kept me from seeing what I should have."
"Percival doesn't think Kusanagi-san should blame herself. Kusanagi-san had someone she respected. She wanted to be like that person." Kagome finally speaks, though she faces the bear as she does so, as if to confirm the validity of her statements with it.
"I did…" Makoto agrees, "But I'm nothing like her."
"Kusanagi-san lacks experience then, isn't that all?"
"Experience?"
Kagome nods to her before taking her eyes back to the bear. Makoto begins to consider this concept and so too goes to the bear. She thinks on it as she pokes the toy's cheek with her finger and begins to accept it. She'd been interested in Yaya and Hikari since the former entered into the school. From the beginning, Makoto saw the talent in Yaya; she had a voice that could not be rivaled, not by anyone in the Saintly Choir and not even by the Etoile for whom her heart yearned. Yaya's only flaw was her lack of focus and how little she even cared that she was unfocused. Quite literally, Makoto had heard known Yaya's song to change like the wind, improving when she was favourable, degrading when not.
"Etoile-sama was the only person that could keep that under control." She begins explaining to Kagome, despite not knowing if the younger girl was aware of these circumstances, "I didn't know what to do about that when I found out and I knew Yaya would never admit her true feelings unless someone pushed her to."
She stands up before continuing, "I think I started to force the situation after that. Shion-senpai found out. She told me I was pushing too hard. Etoile-sama, Hikari-san had just transferred to Spica and I was making her shy away more than she already had. That's when she decided I'd do well to embark on that ambassadorship to Russia. She said I might learn some diplomacy and improve my ability to negotiate proceedings, to differentiate my tactics depending on the subject matter. She was right, too, but this case is still different, isn't it?"
Makoto moves forward a few steps before turning around, "There were many discussions and debates between we Japanese visitors and our Russian hosts and diplomacy, acclimation, and compromise resolved each of them, but love is never rational like that. You can't motion for or deliberate it. It can't be subjected to logic or compromise and that's what makes it so frustrating."
She lets out a sigh and rejoins the blonde who slowly says, "Kusanagi-san must be tired."
"What?"
"Doesn't she want to rest?"
Makoto huffs, "More like abandon her sinking ship by this point."
"When it does, the albatross will be free from her obligation to it. Then, she can choose a new vessel and her choice can be more than a mission." Kagome states, staring intently at Percival.
The true meaning behind her words reaches Makoto, the underlying connotations of where she could go from here. She'd aspired to improve Spica as a means of emulating her senpai. For years, she believed otherwise, but she was living inside the former President's shadow. Doing so placed limits on her, limits she was unaware of until now. She realises now that the basest foundation of her modus operandi is flawed and a reset is in order. It took a girl years younger and even less experienced than she had accused Makoto of being, but now she does know her direction. Emotions surge from her heart at the revelation and erupt tears from her eyes as she cries into the girl's lap.
Tsubomi takes in her surroundings, the darkness her sole accompaniment. It is a fair domicile, well-adorned in her opinion. Yaya's mother must have a gift for decoration. She walks through a corridor, the far end of which she estimates must be her senpai's room. The corridor itself is actually narrowed on purpose, serving as a showcase on both sides of the girl's many accomplishments. It seems Yaya has long been recognised for her vocal skill, trophies and medals lining the left side stemming from primary school up to and including her three years with the Saintly Choir. The right side displays her other qualities; she's rather adventurous, as well. The whole of the wall displays sorted groups of photographs, each collection a montage of events Yaya had planned up to her first year at Spica. Tsubomi finds herself amazed by all this as she's only known her senpai to be aloof and disinterested in most things, her only real fancy being for her Hikari-senpai. Likewise, she comes to understand, the photographs end with her second year at the school, which sees more scenes with just Yaya and Hikari.
Eventually, Tsubomi arrives at her senpai's door and she stops herself. During the madness that was Shizuka's so-called plan, she was but a spectator, drawn down this path. Once the girl left her to her own devices, she realises now that she doesn't know where to begin. What was troubling Yaya, anyway? She didn't even know that there was until they arrived and Shizuka showed the girl huddled in her blanket in the dark. Exactly what did she expect Tsubomi to do about it?
Shaking the creeping doubts in her mind, Tsubomi decides to make use of old tactics, that being to convince Yaya of her un-Spica-like behaviour. Knocking on the door, she greets her senpai before switching into that mode.
"Yaya-senpai, you shouldn't be hiding under your covers during the day. That is unbecoming of a student of Spica!" She scolds, though her tone of voice hardly conveys any sternness.
When Yaya doesn't make a move, she tries again, "I saw the awards Yaya-senpai achieved. Don't you think this isn't the way a champion ought to act?"
Again, Yaya doesn't react, but Tsubomi can't motivate herself to enter the room. Instead, she continues berating the fourth year, struggling to find an item that might cause a stir at the very least. This ploy doesn't work at all and Tsubomi decides she needs to restrategise by the fifth attempt.
Taking a deep breath, she settles on honesty, hoping that genuine concern will have some effect. "Yaya-senpai, I can tell something is wrong. You didn't come to Summer School with us and I know you wanted to go. I was looking forward to playing with you again this year just like last time, but you weren't there. I'm worried that something happened to you, but I don't know what that is."
Though she doesn't believe this new approach would have different results than any of her previous attempts, she can sense a change in the atmosphere and this presses her on, "I cherish all of my senpai, including you, Yaya-senpai, and I can't bear any of you to be upset. I want to help, but I don't know how unless you tell me."
Inside her room, Yaya hears the kouhai's plea and her emotions drive her to action. She rises up from her spot on the bed and sheds the comfort of her blanket. Her steps are awkward as she'd been lying down far too long, but it isn't long before she catches her footing and makes it to the door. As she opens it, she finds tears bubbling in the elated yellow eyes looking to her and her own eyes begin to water. Tsubomi immediately rushes to embrace her senpai as she soothes the girl and pats her back.
"I'm sorry, Tsubomi." She cooes, "I'm better now. I think I just needed to remember that I have friends who worry about me when I'm not at my best. I'll try not to let things get to me so much from now on."
"Yaya-senpai." Tsubomi whimpers, stirring in her embrace.
"There, there. It's all going to be fine now."
"Honestly?" A voice pierces through the tender scene.
"Shizuka-senpai." Yaya gasps, shifting her attention to the trespasser leaning against the trophy case with her arms crossed.
"This is what you wanted?" Shizuka proceeds to remark, "A bit derivative, isn't it?"
"What are you talking about?"
"I do have to admit, having Chikaru and the other girls in a car while I cycle your kouhai to you first was a nice touch, but must we be so dramatic?" She muses, tracing a finger over a few of the photographs.
"Chikaru-sama is on her way, too?" Yaya asks, though by this point she hardly has any idea what the girl is on about.
This is precisely when she pulls close and points out that she could have only done so if Tsubomi wasn't in her arms, which is also when Yaya realises that Tsubomi is no longer in her arms. Instead, she'd somehow moved to the next room, having gone to open the door for Chikaru, Remon, Kizuna, and Chiyo.
"Come now, is this really what you wanted? The Yaya I know didn't go for that sort of fluff."
"The Yaya you know? You don't know me that well… do you?" Yaya asks, quite surprised by Shizuka's words.
To this, Shizuka explodes into maniacal laughter and another anomaly presents itself as she does so. "Of course, we do." Hikari says, having appeared in the corridor, "After all, we're you."
The moment her roommate finishes her sentence, Yaya's eyes burst open. She finds herself in the dark of her room, clutching tightly to the blanket she's wrapped herself in. She sits up to survey the area, but there is no one. She is alone.
"No, I guess I don't…"
Author's Note: Did the lot of you think I'd be so kind? Come now, drama is what makes this series interesting. x) However, I'll do you one better. Not everything in this chapter was in Yaya's head. I may choose to reveal precisely which bits are real and which are imagined, but for the moment, why not have you decide for yourselves. *evil laugh*
The next chapter will start the new term and, much as it was in the anime, there will be an annual play held. What might they perform this year? Oh, and why? ^.~
By the way, just as an aside since I said I would before, the title of the chapter, Fermata, is a musical term. It means a pause in Italian or to hold a note, which this chapter represents. It carries over the collateral at the end of the first term and draws out its outcost in greater detail, which will play a role in the new term. I figured it was amusing as Yaya's talent is in her song.
次回予告
Kaname: It is that time once again!
Chikaru: The stage is set.
Tamao: A new play to grace the Astraea Culture Festival!
Kaname: Love and heartache, passion and war, these are the hallmarks of our grand tradition!
Shizuka: Must you be so dramatic?
Next time on Strawberry Panic, The Game of Life!
Kaname: I aim to steal the show! Or is that for someone else to do?
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